In the era of dating apps and social media, no wonder people don’t go on blind dates anymore! From strange behavior to messy misunderstandings, these singles share their blind date horror stories. After reading these stories, I think I would rather stay single! All content has been edited for clarity.
“My Friends Found It Hysterical”
“A year and some change ago, I had just gotten out of a bad relationship I had broken off. I was a driven person, and my work was what motivated me. The relationship wasn’t great, so I wasn’t extremely upset about having to end it. Several of my friends who didn’t know me well assumed I was super depressed because I wasn’t partying and going out as much as I normally did. In reality, I just had a HUGE grant proposal to work on, which was a real pain and took a lot of time.
The relationship I had been in wasn’t serious, and it was only for a month-ish ‘unofficially’ so it wasn’t a big deal. She was a weird one, so I was in the middle of introducing her to my extended friend circle when things broke off.
My friends came up with this whole plan of meeting me somewhere, and then not showing up. They had set me up with a blind date and called me right when I was outside the sushi restaurant. After getting angry, I figured why not go in and share a meal with a stranger, what could happen, right?
Imagine my surprise, when the girl I had just broken up with was sitting there waiting for me.
I immediately wanted to leave the restaurant, but she begged me to come in and sit down and let her explain herself. She thought this was her chance to fix things and gave the usual excuses. Keep in mind this was a WEEK after the relationship ended, so I wasn’t having any of her nonsense. Everyone made mistakes, and I certainly had no qualms about giving people second, third, or even fourth chances if they deserved it. However, it wasn’t worth it this time.
Anyhow, she proceeded to buy me a bunch of sushi, but I didn’t touch the food while she talked to me. I did my best to not be drawn in. I took the sushi to go after about 20 minutes and gave it to the first homeless person I could find.
She followed me to my car, asking me to say anything. Once we got there, I told her I was leaving and I didn’t want her in my life. Her response was to try to kiss me. SUPER awkward for me, because not only did I do the weird half-shuffle awkward lean out, but I stumbled against my car.
Then I left, went home, and finished my grant after telling my best friend. Needless to say, my friends found it hysterical. To his gumption, he took me out drinking the same night to make up for our idiot friends.”
“The Alarm Bells Went Off In My Head”
“I had only been on one blind date a few years ago. It was with the investment banker son of one of my mother’s friends. It was one of her attempts at finding me a respectable boy from a good family.
The night of our date, he called and asked, ‘Hey, can you pick me up? My car broke down.’
I thought, no problem, and asked where he lived. The guy was staying at a buddy’s place an hour from my house. Ugh. But, still, no problem I thought.
So I get dressed in my cutest little black dress and heels to channel the grace of Audrey Hepburn. Gosh darn it, I thought I did well. I picked the guy up, and he wasn’t all bad. A little on the short side, but he had a cute face and seemed fit.
So we went to the restaurant and ordered. My date got a few drinks into him, and we had a conversation about jobs and other basic things. Then, I asked him who he admired. His answer?
Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, just, you know, without the killing and stuff.
He explained, ‘I just really admire him and aspire to live his life.’
DING DING DING. The alarm bells went off in my head.
So, trying to change the subject, I mentioned the fraternity he was in. We went to the same university, and I happened to know some of the guys he was friends with.
My date replied, ‘Oh, those guys? All my friends are just vehicles for me to get ahead in life. I don’t care about any of them.’
Then comes the check. My date forgot his wallet, so I paid. Just awesome.
By now, I was looking for the night to be done with. But no, things had to get more fun. On the way back to the parking lot, we passed by an alley.
My date leaned in and whispered in my ear, ‘You’re so hot, I think we should sleep together behind the pile of garbage over there,’ then LICKED my ear!
I told him the night was over, gave him some money, and told him to take the bus home. I then called my friends and went out to try and forget about the awful experience. Needless to say, I was jumpy for a few days expecting an axe to come out from a corner at any moment.”
Blind Date Bewilderment
“This was kind of a blind date fail.
I had just come back home from college and was having a night drinking at the local watering hole when I noticed the place had a new bartender. New attractive bartender. She had short hair, nice tattoos, and an Electric Six shirt. Right up my alley.
So I started making a bit of conversation, and much to my surprise, we seemed to hit it off. And not just the bartender is everyone’s best friend until they leave kind of hitting it off, but we had cool conversations.
She started hinting at if I was seeing anyone, and I told her no. She immediately reached into her pocket and started writing something down.
She explained, ‘On top is the number at the apartment, and these are directions. We’re having a party on Wednesday night, and you should come.’
True enough, a phone number and directions. What would you think?
Wednesday night came, and I was dressed up and ready to impress. I went over to her place, knocked, on the door, and there she stood, looking amazing. She smiled and hugged me, grabbed me by the hand, and dragged me through the party until she got to this big dude.
She explained, ‘Jake, this is my roommate John. John, this is Jake.’
I did the whole pleasantry thing, but when I turned around, she was gone. I mean, poof. Gone. Like Batman.
Not knowing anyone else, I just kept on talking to John. He seemed like a good guy.
Suddenly, he stopped me mid-sentence and said, ‘You’re not gay, are you?’
‘No?’ I replied, confused.
‘You should tell Liz that,’ John laughed and replied.
She had set up the entire part as an excuse to hook me up with her roommate. I had been on a blind date with a dude and didn’t even know.”
“I was set up with a friend of my roommate’s girlfriend. Let’s call the date ‘Lisa,’ and let’s call my roommate’s girlfriend ‘Karen.’ I knew what Lisa looked like, so I knew there was an attraction there. However, I never spoke to her.
When we met outside of the restaurant, Lisa was on her cell phone. I figured it must have been important, but as we walked inside and waited for the table she kept talking about nonsense on the phone. She was just on the phone with a friend. She got off the phone, didn’t apologize and we were seated at a table.
About two minutes later her phone rang again. It was the same, ‘OMG, no way!’ stupid conversations she was having before. The waitress came over and we ordered drinks, all while she was still on the phone. I sat there twiddling my thumbs waiting for her to be done. The drinks came, and Lisa was still on the phone. I was halfway done with my drink and had waved the waitress off once already because Lisa was still on the phone.
Finally, about 20 minutes into the date, I quietly stood up, took $20 out of my wallet, and walked out without saying a word. As I walked out, I saw Lisa’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, her mouth open wide, and her face turning red in embarrassment. All of the surrounding tables had seen what transpired and were whispering to themselves about it.
By the time I got home, my date Lisa was on the phone with Karen who was over at our house at the time. It didn’t occur to me until then how my date was probably on the phone with Karen the whole time!
Karen was livid. As soon as I walked through the door she started attacking me by saying, ‘You are so rude, why would you just leave her there and not say anything?’
I looked her dead in the eyes and calmly replied, ‘I didn’t want to interrupt such an important phone call,’ and then walked into my room and went to bed.
As I was leaving the living room, I noticed the same expression on her face that Lisa had when I left the restaurant. I still couldn’t believe they had the nerve to act like I was in the wrong.”