Everyone's got their secrets. Depending on what they are, they can affect a lot of things when they come out. People reveal how they came to see a person close to them in a totally different light. Some were pleasant surprises while others ruined the entire friendship forever.
She Was Basically Their Prisoner
wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock
“This happened to my sibling set of cousins (my third cousins). Two sisters and a brother.
The youngest sister (she is 31 this year, this happened in 2009) was dating a biracial guy. I didn’t realize how racist the family was. They told her to leave him immediately, and when they found out she not only hadn’t left him but was also being intimate with him, her siblings beat her up while their father watched, and they forced her onto a plane to Europe the next day, black eye and all. They had her personal documents seized by her sister and basically treated her like a prisoner.
I found out about a year later about this when our other cousin told me. I can never look at anyone in that family again the same way, and it’s so sad because as a kid I was very fond of them. The older sister had a coffee shop, which my dad used to take us to a lot and I think that’s where he met my stepmom.
I am not sure if this is a secret now since my mom knows and I didn’t tell her. Though at the time my cousin asked me to keep it quiet because it was top secret and very sensitive information. I don’t know if any of the family know that I know about this as well. They suck.”
There’s A Reason They Saw Lawyers Are Crooked
“My wife, a defense attorney, has a work colleague who is the biggest jerk you will ever meet. A blowhard who revels in winning at any cost, and brags about the snarky things he does to really twist the knife. He’s known as a sharp legal mind, but I get the sense that he likes to try to fool weaker ADAs or other counselors, and loves it when he catches them in some technicality. He makes all those stereotypes about lawyers seem valid.
My church had a sort of habitat for humanity-esque service weekend where we were rehabbing an old warehouse into a new space as a temporary women’s shelter for battered women. The offices were already up, but the individual rooms needed to be refloored, the bathrooms re-tiled, and the sheetrock needed to be hung and primed. To my surprise, I saw the jerk there with a toolbelt helping to install a sink.
Long story short, he donates his legal services to that one shelter – helping to set up restraining orders, divorces, and custody for abused women trying to get away from their abusive partners/family.
At first, I wondered if this was some sort of court-ordered community service. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had done something to deserve it and then ticked off a judge somewhere. But no, the coordinator for the shelter who was working with my church says that he had been doing that for the past few years. Apparently, his wife’s previous husband was an abuser, and he has a real heart for people in that situation.
I don’t know if that’s really a ‘secret,’ but my wife didn’t know about it and didn’t believe me when I told her. He obviously doesn’t brag about it – which is something I thought he would totally do.”
Her Ex’s Mom’s Secrets Make Her Skin Crawl
Iakov Filimonov/Shutterstock
“I was dating my boyfriend that would eventually become my husband and father of my child when we decided to move in with his parents for financial reasons. On our last trip from our apartment to their house with our stuff, at a four-way stop, he says ‘My mom cheated on my dad.’
Now the act of cheating wasn’t all that surprising or shameful considering his parents had been together since they were 15 and had their first child at that age. I didn’t judge, but there were two parts of the story that made me change my view:
1) Who she cheated with. It was her husband’s nephew. They were adults when it occurred, but the nephew was the same age as her oldest son (who is 14 years older than my boyfriend), which meant that she had been around this kid from the time he was born and her oldest son was super close to.
2) My boyfriend found this out from his cousin (younger sister of nephew) when he was 12 and confronted his mom, who admitted everything and guilt tripped him into never telling his dad. So he had kept that secret for nearly 15 years at the time.
Now, it has been about eight years since, and we lived with his parents for two years. In that time I learned that his mom just plain likes to keep secrets from his dad, such as the credit cards she took out in his name to pay for boyfriend’s debt and the money she continued to funnel him. I learned she liked to have little whisper sessions about this with my boyfriend and it grossed me out. I learned that she relied/relies heavily on emotional fulfillment and gratification from her sons in a weird and almost reverse Oepidus type way. All of this compounded on to what I had been told and her character was officially enough to make my skin crawl.
Boyfriend and I ended up divorced less than two years into our marriage. And truth be told, a lot of it had to do with her. My view of him started to change, I lost respect for him and his acceptance of the coddling. Our relationship deteriorated.
We now have a beautiful son and a pretty good co-parenting relationship. He is remarried and will never tell his wife of his mom’s indiscretions. He will hold onto that secret forever. His dad and older brothers will never know what he’s had to keep inside for 20 years now. And my heart still breaks for him for it.”
His Wife Was Hiding The Biggest Secret
fizkes/Shutterstock
“I just found out yesterday that my wife (29), a teacher, started an affair with a student (18) of her’s about two months ago. We have been together for 10 years and married for four years. We have a 4-month-old daughter and she threw it all away: career, marriage, and family. I had no idea anything was wrong until six days ago when I found her crying in bed, and she told me she was depressed, no longer in love with me, and suicidal mostly because of my drinking habits. I took sole responsibility, swore off drinking, and had us signed up for marriage counseling the same day, plus got her in contact with a postpartum depression group.
Six days later, she is sent to a crisis center by her school, and I find out everything after the psychiatrist there makes her tell me the truth when I show up to bring her home. My life is so messed up right now that I can’t even sleep and I’m holding a 4-month-old baby trying not to cry while her cheating mother is five miles away in a hospital room.
Safe to say, I will never see my wife the same way again.”
He Really Wanted An Authentic Mexican Poncho
“I was near the Mexico border while on a work trip. One of my coworkers wanted to go over the border for dinner, and so he could buy an authentic Mexican poncho. He really wanted that poncho. He couldn’t stop talking about it to the point where it got annoying.
We all decided to go to Mexico, had dinner, split up for shopping in the touristy area, then met back up. While he was heading back, I saw that he had his poncho. Good for him!
But then I saw him walk by a woman begging on the side of the street. It was a chilly night, and she seemed cold with just a thin, ratty blanket around her shoulders. My coworker stopped, gave her his poncho, and she put it on and seemed to express thanks. He then came to where we were, not knowing I had seen him.
We asked if he got his poncho, and he said ‘No, I couldn’t find one.’ And that was that.
The average annoying co-worker became good-guy Greg on the spot.”
He Opened Up In His Class Speech
“There was this guy in my high school who was the typical big meat-head football player bully. Picking fights, playing mean-spirited pranks, super homophobic, and misogynistic. He was straight out of a teen movie. My senior year, he ended up in my English class.
At the end of the year, we had to do senior statements which basically are speeches where you talk about a very painful/life changing event you’ve been through. He got up and began to tell a heart-wrenching story about how he and his brother have been abused by his father since they were children. He hates football and wishes he could do drama, but his father would never allow it. He acknowledged what a jerk he is and was beside himself for not knowing how to treat others. He quietly went back to his seat where he proceeded to cry quietly for the remainder of the class.
His story radically changed my opinion of him. He was the first person who made me realize most people do deserve compassion. He still lives in my hometown and occasionally I find him at the bar downtown. He’s a good guy, much quieter now, but hopefully pursuing something he loves because he deserves the happiness.”
She Had Everyone Fooled
pathdoc/Shutterstock
“There was a woman, whom I considered my friend for many, many years. She had cancer, survived it, but it was still there and created numerous problems. She even appeared on TV shows as an advocate for cancer patients, did a lot of political activism, was very much opposed to euthanasia. Published some books. Then one fine day, through a series of coincidences, it turned out that her cancer had never existed. She had completely made it up. A big fat whopping lie.
I would feel ashamed because I fell for it for so long – except that a lot of other people fell for it too, including professionals – doctors, nurses, priests. Needless to say, it ended that friendship. And it made me think a lot about how easily fooled we all are.
Oh, by the way, she has died by now. Of cancer. I’m not kidding. Not the type of cancer she had made up, of course. Karma!”
They Had Been Friends For Over 10 Years When He Found Out
Africa Studio/Shutterstock
“Found out my best friend tried to take advantage of a girl once and bragged about it to everyone but me. Also found out he held a knife to one of his ex’s throats. There are many more things, but finding this out after a 10-year friendship, I ended it abruptly.
I knew he was a narcissist when first meeting him. Just never would have guessed the rabbit hole went as far as it did. Unfortunately, he took our circle of friends with him. He was exceptionally charismatic.”
Her Friend’s Secret Changed Her Opinion Of The Boyfriend
grassy22/Shutterstock
“There was this one girl I’d known for a long time but wasn’t massively close to who we all thought was being terribly controlled by her boyfriend. She would tell us that he decided when she was allowed to drink, when she was allowed to go out, what she was allowed to do, etc. He also hid things around the house and started to impose bedtimes for her and shout at her over what seemed like minor things. We all thought he was awful and encouraged her to leave.
Then she moved in with me and I realized she was extremely emotionally unstable and always wasted. Within months, I found myself wanting to do, or in some cases actually doing, all the things she said her ‘controlling’ boyfriend had done. I remember one time after trying to remain patient with her for a while, she said one thing that was relatively minor and it was the last straw – I just snapped and screamed at her. I then got phone calls from all our mutual friends to talk about ‘my behavior’ and ‘anger management’ presumably as a result of the story being told back to them, in a somewhat biased way.
So, in a way, her secret changed my opinion of him. While I did gain an understanding of much of his ‘controlling’ behavior and had a much less black and white view of him and of their relationship, he was no saint – he was very far from it, in fact. For instance, he had been physically violent with her and this was corroborated by others. There were plenty of times I got so angry I felt like raising a hand to her and I walked away to calm down. There is never an excuse to actually hit someone.
What I would say is that they were both abusive, but I had a much less black and white view of both of them after getting to know her better.”
His Face Went White After She Told Him The Truth
file404/Shutterstock
“I went to a wedding of a family friend who was marrying a British guy. I met his son and later on ended up visiting London not too long after. I thought it was strange that he never wanted to talk about his father or his new stepmother. At some point, I brought up how much I like his dad and how I remember the first time I met him five years ago. Saw his face go white and asked if he was okay.
He told me his dad had actually cheated on his mom with his new stepmom, but he’d only found out about it six months ago. He didn’t know they’d been together for five years. I didn’t know that my family friend was ‘the other woman.’
We literally sat in silence for five minutes to process each other’s information. I see them at least once a month, and I can’t help but think about it every time I do.”
The Reason He Got Jail Time Changed Her View Of Him
Skyward Kick Productions/Shutterstock
“I met a friend’s new boyfriend who told me that he had spent time in jail for two drinking while driving charges. He got that charge, and then he got another one, and the judge gave him jail time. He drank a lot, but when I met him he was at least very careful about not driving. But to be honest, I judged him for it. Pretty crappy to drive wasted. And how do you get one charge and then not learn your lesson? It was something that affected the way I saw him.
Fast forward three years, and now he is married to my friend. One night, I am out with my friend, and she makes a comment about his sister. I had heard that he had a sister who died, but I never knew the details. Turns out she was a victim of a violent murder by an ex-boyfriend, and my friend’s husband is the one who found her body. He walked into the house coming home from college for summer break and found her.
The charges were in that first six months after her death. Should he have been driving wasted? No, of course not. But after I learned that I had so much compassion for him and the terrible pain he must have been going through.
People deal with such terrible things, and they don’t always deal with them well.”
Her Taunting Turned Out To Be The Truth
Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock
“I had a work friend back in the day whose wife was really mean to him. She always would tell me that his kids hate him (even though they would run to the door excited when their daddy was home). When she was really mad at him, she would flip out and say that he fooled around with his sister and banged a pig. He would just ignore her and not say anything back. Now, I just ignored it because she would always try and make him look bad when she was mad at him. Well, one night we were drinking and he was pretty wasted. His wife got mad and did it again, but this time the heated exchange went like this:
‘You fooled around with your sister, and you banged a pig once!’
Long pause.
‘You know what! Eff you! That stuff happened like three years ago. You need to just drop it and move on, I don’t deserve to have it rubbed in my face all the time.’
A wasted confession. He and his sister used to bang, and he used to go out to the hog barn and have his way with the livestock.
Then I realized why she held such resentment towards him, and I didn’t really stick around to hear any more details than that. I got out of there, and never talked to them again. I feel so bad for their kids. It was a really dysfunctional situation for them. Luckily, I heard they aren’t together anymore.”
He Confided In Her About His Messed Up Desires
Dan Kosmayer/Shutterstock
“A family member’s ex-wife of several years, whom I was still close with, asked me never to leave my daughter alone with my relative. She said that the reason they never had kids was that he confided when incredibly wasted that he had uncontrollable desires towards young girls. He was upset and told her he felt he was evil and deserved to die. She asked him if he ever did anything and he said no and asked her to forgive him and asked God to make him better. Again, he was like, black-out wasted.
This was surprising information. She didn’t tell me in spite and actually still loves him very much. I haven’t heard or seen evidence of grooming or any extra attention paid to any of the female children in my family. He could have just been really wasted and out of his mind, but there is zero way I’m going to leave my daughter alone with him or let her out of my sight at family functions.
I don’t have evidence that what she said was true, so I can’t really do anything with the information other than being diligent.”
He Was A Little Handsy With Him
g-stockstudio/Shutterstock
“There was a guy I worked with that was kind of handsy, but generally really nice all the time. I learned he was gay but in the closet. It was then I started noticing how he treated everyone else kind of rudely. He wasn’t handsy with anyone else.
So all the positive attention was him trying to flirt? I guess. He was not very good at it. I had a conversation with him when he asked me to lunch. I had to awkwardly explain that I am married. I feel like I may have accidentally led him on. I feel a little bad about it, but I wore my ring every day and I have pictures of my family on my desk.
We are still on friendly terms, and I introduced him to my circle of gay friends to help him acclimate to the culture. We became decent enough friends, but a lot of the flirt-like behavior stopped.”
He Manipulated Her To Stay With Him
Photographee.eu/Shutterstock
“My old man used to hang nooses in the garage when I was very small as a way to manipulate my mother into staying with him.
‘I’ll kill myself if you leave.’ This as far back as 1990. She finally left him seven years ago. He did not kill himself like he said he would. When I found out how awful he’d been to her all this time I could never look at him the same way.”
He Looked Up To His Brother Until This Fateful Day
courtyardpix/Shutterstock
“He was my brother, best friend and best man at my wedding. All of a sudden, he moved to Washington about a year and a half ago. We have no ties there, and neither does he, and we just couldn’t figure it out. Maybe he wants a new start.
Then all of a sudden, he moves back to the town my parents live in. Last Thanksgiving, the US Marshals showed up to take him into custody and to send him back to Washington. He’s facing trial next month on ‘illegal touching’ of a minor amongst many other charges. Definitely has changed the way I look at him.”