If the famous quote 'show me who your friends are and I'll show you who you are' stands true, then hats off to the authors of the stories below. They cut off some pretty
(Content has been edited for clarity).
Sweet 16?
“A friend of mine told me that when she was 16, she had consensual relations with her twenty-something-year-old brother. She told him that she had no clue what she was doing in bed and he agreed to ‘tutor’ her. She says he was the best she’s ever had. She also began to be a bit possessive of him and would get jealous when she saw him bring other girls home. This went on for a year until he started turning her down when she approached him for intimacy.
She says that he started turning her down because of the guilt. He noticed that she was becoming too attached to what they were doing (she wasn’t seeing it as just ‘fun’ anymore). I don’t think it was an everyday thing but she told me it happened a lot throughout the course of one year.”
An Outstanding Individual
Kues/Shutterstock
“One of my friends got really wasted, jumped on top of a stranger’s car, crushed the roof in and then took a crap in the newly concave roof. They did this all while the alarm was going off.
Another time, he saw a woman drive into a telephone pole and said he wouldn’t call the cops on her if she went down him. She did, but he called the cops anyway.
Another time he smoked devil’s grass for the first time in six months and got so gone he just laid in a person’s bathroom for two hours. Afterward, he made himself seven peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without asking. He used up an entire loaf of bread and most of all of the jars of peanut butter and jelly. He was just generally an overall outstanding individual. I don’t hang out with him anymore.”
There Are Some Things Money Shouldn’t Buy
Voyagerix/Shutterstock
“A friend of mine used to be a rent boy when times were hard. One of his clients had recently had surgery and asked my friend to do him in the stitches/open wound. He did it.”
‘She’s Worthless’
“A friend of mine was with her abusive boyfriend and his friends. He wanted to get intimate with her in front of them, but because he had one too many drinks could not get hard. He then proceeded to force her on everyone in the room, insisting they go in her backdoor first, then have her go down of them. When she was done being repeatedly abused by his friends, she walked home in a stupor covered in all the men’s fluids.
When she got home, her mother was talking to her sister. When her mom saw her, she turned away from my friend and told the sister, ‘Don’t look at her, she’s worthless easy bimbo.’
She later found out she had contracted HPV from the men.
As far as I know, she did not turn in any of them. When she told me this story, I really didn’t want to ask for details. I just focused on comforting her as this was a long time after the fact and luckily long after she escaped the toxic relationship.”
No Thank You
“My friend ran over a cat with his car.
He saw him, stared at him, thump-cat is gone. I grabbed his shoulder and tried to stop him but too late.
And not long after that, he was charged with physically assaulting a minor (a 7-year-old and he claims she seduced him and that her parents were ‘already doing it with her’ and so it was ‘her fault.’ Yes, seriously. He was about 22 at the time).
We weren’t friends after that.
That was 30 years ago. These days he has ‘found the Lord’ and asks people if they have also found the Lord and tries to reconnect with me on facebook.
No thanks and up yours!”
Are You Willing To Do Anything?
“I had a friend in high school. His name was John and he was pretty normal. He wasn’t into anything bad or in with the bad crowd, he was just an all-around regular kid. So we were at a party that was being thrown by a girl (let’s call her Sara) who was really into John but he didn’t like her back. At one point, she took his hat off his head and prances around with it on. So while she isn’t looking, he steals her apparently expensive sunglasses to make sure he got his hat back. Well, the girl got really trashed at the party and ended up throwing the hat in the fireplace. Needless to say, John wasn’t too happy but I figured it was not a big deal because it was just a hat.
So, at about 2 in the morning things started to wind down and as John’s ride, I was hanging about until he was ready to go. When there were just a few people left besides Sara, John and I, Sara in her wasted state walks over and tries to ask for her sunglasses back in a seductive manner by rubbing against him and whispering in his ear she would do anything he wanted. This next part I promise I watched happen. He dragged her over to the couch and told her to strip… she does… and he lays her down and holds her hands above her head and tells her to keep them there. He takes his pants off and I look away not sure what to expect. Moments later, I hear the noise of someone taking a crap and I look back to see Sara lying on the couch now covered in mostly liquid feces all over her body and John putting his pants on. She started to freak out and we left. Also, he never did give those sunglasses back.”
Truly Awful
kurhan/Shutterstock
“I saw one of my childhood friends on the news one day.
He got a mentally challenged girl pregnant.
She wanted to have the baby; he did not.
He drove her into the woods, shot her in the face multiple times, and then set her body on fire.”
The Ultimate Jerk
“We met a Brazilian girl up in America. He spent three weeks seducing her away from the flock of guys trying to get her attention and eventually managed it by flying the two of them to Brazil.
Three months later, I got a call from her. The guy had paid for her to go backpacking through South America with him and ‘gotten tired of her’ in Columbia and just ditched her with no money, no ride, no anything. She literally had a backpack full of camping supplies and nothing else.
I called him up and asked him what happened and his response was ‘She didn’t want to sleep with me last night. I took a long hard look at how much money I’ve spent on her and decided she wasn’t worth it.”
Then he hung up on me.
That’s when I knew he was a jerk but the story continues.
A few months later, I hear from him again. He was still doing the backpacking thing and had made his way back to Brazil. The first thing he did was look up the girl he had stranded in Columbia and tried to move in with her. He couldn’t though, cause she had a boyfriend living with her by then.
He spent three nights in a hostel before convincing her that the whole ‘I stranded you internationally because I was angry that you weren’t letting me treat you like crap’ thing was just a giant misunderstanding.
She met him at a club, they sleep together (without the current boyfriend’s knowledge) and started a week-long affair. The Brazilian girl borrowed money from her parents to rent an apartment with my friend and borrowed a car to move him out of the hostel so they could start a life together.
My friend decided she wasn’t worth the commitment if she could just cheat on her boyfriend and move out so quickly with a guy who had stranded her internationally.
He moved out before she could pick him up and called the boyfriend to ‘warn him about her’ before skipping town.
That guy is the biggest jerk I’ve ever met. Two days later, he convinced a Dutch exchange student to drop out of her degree program and use her daddy’s money to fly them both to Amsterdam. He ditched her less than a week later because she was ‘too controlling.’ What was she actually doing? Asking him not to bang other chicks in her bed while she was out job hunting.”
Hide Your Kids
Alexander Shunevich/Shutterstock
“A friend from school stopped going to classes. We later found out he was arrested for child smut and had over 100 videos on his computer.
As well as posting to be a male nanny on craigslist…
He’s out now and keeps asking if anyone wants to get an apartment with him.”
Past The Limit
“The barkeep at our favorite bar did time in prison. I just found out WHY: he and some friends tied up an old man to steal his bank card and get all his cash. He had a limit on it so they kept him tied up for days. They beat him and left him tied up. He died from his injuries.”
‘What People CAN Be Like’
Rommel Canlas/Shutterstock
“Around age 9 or 10, my mom took me and two ‘friends’ out for lunch and ice cream for my birthday. We were supposed to wait for her after while she made a quick trip to the restroom. My friends went back to the table and I guess thought I wouldn’t notice, but they stole the waitress’ tip (I figured it out largely by seeing the waitress’ face after they came back.)
I told my mom and we never took them out again.
It was definitely an eye-opener for me as to what people CAN be like. I’m thankful that not everybody is like that, and it definitely to this day makes me want to tip decently.”
A Jerk Indeed
[Dean Drobot][1]/Shutterstock
[1]: https://www.shutterstock.com/g/Dean Drobot
“I knew this guy all through high-school. I got together with him and all the old gang when we were home from college. We were in each other’s weddings and pretty much set up for a ‘let’s get together a few times a year’ type of life.
A few years later, I called him up to go golfing as one of the guys was in town from 120 miles away. He said, ‘I’ve got a new life now, I hang out with the people from my neighborhood (he was so proud he knew an NFL player), quit calling me.’
Okay, fair enough, but kind of a jerk move.
Time went by and I hadn’t seen some of the gang for five years when one of my buds dropped dead of a heart attack. I started calling everyone to break the news. Everyone was at the wake. The place was packed, some drove 30 to 40 miles to be there with no excuses. The jerk I’m referring to here knew our friend who passed away since they were 8 years old and couldn’t be bothered to drive 5 miles. What. A. Jerk.”
No Cares In The World
“When I was 20 or so I was walking the mall with this girl from work who I was starting to become friends with. She was sipping a smoothie while walking near the edge of the second floor and when she finished it she just casually tossed the cup over the ledge like it was no big deal. She didn’t even look back. She just thought,’Oh, I’m done with this! I might as well toss it over here! Who cares where it lands!'”
Went Too Far
“He wasn’t a close friend of mine but he was an alright guy. I’d hang out with this guy at parties or late night brother brawl sessions. I knew this guy for two or three years. You could tell he was a little off, like spent too much time huffing Freon off in the head.
He got a job at a late night breakfast chain. He was working there for a few months and everything seemed to be going alright with him. One night, someone (who had had one too many drinks) got in his face and insulted his mom. He completely flipped and attacked the guy. He was beating his head on the countertop, stomping his spine, and so forth. The dude started to seizure and died.”
The Secret Spreader
wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock
“My friend told me her last best friend’s deepest darkest secrets. But I’m dense, so I was still friends with her.
Then there was about a year of lies and I was out. She didn’t ‘just lose weight,’ she had gastric bypass surgery. She wasn’t ‘abused’ by her ex-husband, she gaslighted him. She didn’t need substances for her skin removal surgery-gone-wrong, she was a pill addict. She isn’t engaged to her boyfriend, she just free-loads. I spent the night wrongly accused of a crime and when I got out, the next day, she walked right past me on the street and said nothing. She never called me or even asked me what the heck happened – nothing. And there is so much more.
She is by far, the worst person I have ever met.”
Continue Till It’s Done
“I saw this first hand as I was in the room when it happened…
My friend and I were young and went back to this guy’s house. So things started happening, and we went with our respective guys to their rooms. After about half an hour, I hear my friend screaming and the shower coming on. My guy went out to see what the fuss was and came back in looking terrified.
Cue my friend walking in, stark naked and covered in blood everywhere. All she did was stand there and say ‘something’s wrong with him!’.
It turns out the guy’s foreskin had broke/ripped while they were doing the deed and began bleeding heavily. My friend had continued on and finished him off, even going down on him, hence the blood everywhere, including her face.
I have the best friends.”
Live Fast
“I had this friend from middle school. He was a pretty smart kid obsessed with history and we were good friends until we went to separate high schools.
Last I heard of him, he started two adult film internet websites, became briefly wealthy, got hooked on coke, got crabs and impregnated a 40-year old that stalked him until he moved out of the state. He did all of this by junior year of high school. All I did in my high school year was slack off and get into a mediocre local college.”
Things To Not Say…
“A girl I had been sleeping with told me she was a satanist and liked to torture animals. She said she had duct taped a kitten onto a ball and played volleyball with it. She told me this while we were getting it on.
I felt my junk dissolve into water at that moment.”
Crabs In The Bucket
sruilk/Shutterstock
“A dude I knew went on a cruise. He had relations with some random woman. A few weeks later, he was noticing that his eye was very irritated. He came to find out, he had crabs in his eyelashes.
This is 100% true, I couldn’t make something like this up.”
The Birds And The Bees
“My mom used to work in a hospital as a phlebotomist, and when it was slow she would hang out in the ER or Urgent Care doing paperwork, assisting doctors to examine patients, transcription and what not.
She told me this story that this woman came in complaining of an umbilical hernia. When she actually saw it, she said that it looked like a sausage was sticking out of her umbilicus (navel). When my mom asked her how it happened, and why she waited so long to come to the hospital, the woman told her that she’d been trying to get pregnant with her husband, and that intimacy was becoming too painful.
He was penetrating her belly button in an attempt to impregnate her. Repeatedly.”
Care Free
“When I hadn’t seen her in 2 years she suddenly showed up at my house. She was wearing an ‘In Loving Memory of…’ shirt, not a big deal, everyone around here wears those. She took me to her aunt’s house and I noticed a lot of cars. Again, no big deal. Then I noticed everyone there is also wearing an ‘In Loving Memory of…’ shirt.
She brought me to a funeral. I looked at her with wide eyes wearing my Rick and Morty shirt while sad family members watched. She didn’t care in the least that it was a funeral for a 13-year-old that died of cancer.”
12 Years Later…
“My really good friend was supposed to pick me up from school (I was a junior, he was 18) and we had plans to go do something. He showed up with his kid brother (9-year- olds) and the family dog. He was white as a ghost, kinda shaking and there was definitely something weird going on. I keep asking him what was wrong and he just apologized and said he has to drop me off at home cause he couldn’t go out.
When I got home, I gave it a little bit of time then called him and told him I was really worried about him and asked if he would please tell me what was going on. He said he wanted to but couldn’t, and that he was making his brother a pizza and had to go. I call my boyfriend (they had been best friend’s since third grade) to tell him to call because I was really worried, and he couldn’t get a hold of him. Later on that night, my bf called and told me his mom just watched the news and our friend had murdered his mom.
It turned out he had taken a sledgehammer and beaten her beyond all recognition then wrapped an extension cord around her. He then picked his kid bro up, picked me up, then made his bro pizza, sent him to the neighbors and called the cops on himself.
I don’t know why he did it, but we have theories. He was a great guy, but there was something wrong in his family and I wasn’t the only one that felt there was something odd about his mom’s relationship with him. I do know he had been having severe insomnia and for the last month, and his mom (knowing he couldn’t sleep) would wake him up after only an hour, as well as pulling him off his meds because they decided that ‘satan’ was in him and he needed to find God instead of medicine.
But he’s still in prison and has been for 12 years or so.”