Guests can definitely overstay their welcome. People share when they were ready to kick their guests out the door the minute they arrived.
(Content has been edited for clarity).
Not Even Their Fish Were Spared
“My friend has a koi pond in her backyard that she and her husband built themselves. It’s a nice little pond in the ground with rocks and a waterfall. They also have a couple of cats.
They go out of town for a couple weeks and one of her work friends takes care of her house. A few days in, this work friend comes over and dumps the entire bag of cat food onto the kitchen floor. Then she decided that the water in the koi pond looked a bit low, so they turn on the hose to top it off. Only they ‘forget’ to turn the hose off when they leave. She never comes back to the house to check on anything after that.
A couple days later, a neighbor notices that their backyard is flooded and that there’s koi swimming around in the yard. They turn off the water and try to catch the koi but are not successful. The koi end up dying or getting away.
Luckily the cats inside were ok. The neighbor calls my friend to tell her what happened.
Let’s just say that my friend is not friends with her co-worker anymore.”
He Didn’t Even Have The Decency To Use The Toilet
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“Back in my bachelor days, my buddy and I decided to hit the nightlife in some bars in Austin. I was never a big drinker and had a few drinks over the course of the evening. He was drinking all night like it was water. Needless to say, he was in no condition to drive across town to his place so I told him he could just crash at mine.
It’s Sunday morning and I’m getting ready for church. I knock on the door and ask if he’s OK. I told him he could sleep while I’m gone if he wants to, but he just says he’s got to get going and quickly leaves. I get back from church a few hours later, and the entire apartment smells like poop. I sniff out the source in the guest bed. Evidently, the guy had woken up during the middle of the night and evacuated a beagle-sized turd into my sheets, rolled it up and then continued sleeping the rest of the night in the same bed he had befouled. The real ‘what the heck’ part – other than sleeping all night next to a rolled up sheet with your own monstrous deuce in it is that he could have just stayed after I left, cleaned up and I would have probably never known.”
Some People Just Don’t Care
“I live on a boat, it’s a cargo ship built in 1924 and converted into a live-aboard in the ’50s, but it’s still a boat, we sail on it every summer pretty much.
The first thing we tell guests is to be conservative with water because we have tanks that need to be filled and to not put ANYTHING in the toilets, the plumbing is much narrower than in a house and we have septic tanks that don’t handle cellulose very well. It’s not even a problem because we have trash cans everywhere. Basically, the idea is if you didn’t eat it or drink it first then it has no business being in the toilet. Yet some people just don’t get it or don’t care.
Some people with a young kid came over. The kid needed a diaper change, and mom proceeded to shove dirty diaper and wet wipes into the toilet despite there being a very obvious sign and a trash can 20 cm away. Obviously the next day, everything died and we had to pull the whole toilet-plumbing-tank-pump system apart. Also, it was the middle of summer so yeah, that was fun. Needless to say, they were not invited over again.”
And She Thought Kevin Was Bad
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“My partner’s friend was staying with us and brought his large dog. One night his dog tore up one of the bed’s pillows. Instead of letting us know, he just stuffed the pillow and feathers into the pillowcase to hide it. He left the next day and I went to wash the sheets. I pulled the pillow out of the case and completely covered the room in feathers. It was 3 months ago and I am still finding feathers floating around.
So Kevin comes back to stay with us for their fantasy draft. All the guys in the league are in town to draft and party so we are hosting two guys, Kevin and we’ll call the other guy ‘Paul’. I have known both for years, we all went to college together.
Saturday is their big day to golf and draft, but it was also a really big day for me. I had been running for a year (never exercised before) and had trained hard for 6 weeks to run a 15k that Saturday. So the run goes great, I’m lazy the rest of the day. Meanwhile, the guys are golfing, drinking, gambling on golfing and drinking. They rush home to change and head to a specific wing place that has fantasy draft specials.
I’m home when they come to change and meet another member of the league, ‘Mic,’ who has known Kevin since they were kids. He’s pretty tipsy but we talk about running, and how he’s been training for a full marathon that’s in 2 weeks. They leave and later all come home pretty dinged up, which is totally fine. Turns out Mic is going to crash on the other couch because he definitely couldn’t drive, again, totally fine.
My partner gets in the shower in our master bathroom that is only accessed through our bedroom. I’m exhausted and ready for bed, when all the sudden, someone busts through our door and into the bathroom; it’s Mic. He starts vomiting chicken wings into the sink – not in the toilet next to it, all the while my partner is yelling at him to move to the toilet. Side note: we do have another bathroom that was closer to him and empty.
Anyway, both Kevin and Paul rush to ‘help’ and try to shove to food down the bathroom drain, because you know, we have a garbage disposal in our bathroom… Finally, they began scooping it out into a trash bag. I remained in bed with my back turned and pretended to be asleep.
After the chicken-sink fiasco, Mic settled down and passed out. My partner finally got into bed and apologized, had a little laugh began to fall asleep. Not even 60 seconds passed before the silence was broken with Mic screaming, ‘I’M GOING TO POOP MYSELF.’ Of course you are, Mic, of course you are. He was ushered to the proper bathroom, he used the toilet correctly to the best of our knowledge, crisis averted! Right?
Fast forward 15 minutes to us being woken up by a heated argument in our living room, Mic was at it again, this time choosing the laundry room as the ideal spot to vomit. Thankfully, he was redirected away from my washer and dryer I had just paid off and threw up in the bathroom. He was convinced he was being guest of the year by choosing the washing machine instead of throwing up on the sheets. His argument was based off of fact water is connected to the washer, washer is connected to the sewer, so on and so forth. Mic, your logic is freaking infallible. No one agreed for obvious reasons, but he is a lawyer and he put together a pretty convincing argument in person. Impressive.
After that argument, he was found sitting in our garage in the dark because he felt ‘unwelcome.’ The next morning he left before anyone woke up and sent my partner a passive-aggressive apology.
Thanks Kevin for inviting your friend to crash with us.”
This Wicked Fat Witch Of The West Blew In At The Wrong Time
“When I was 10, my mother and I moved across the country, leaving all our friends behind. We didn’t get to see many of them for years. When I was 13 I had to have knee surgery, and when one of my mother’s old friends, let’s call her Fat Witch, found out she said she was coming up to support me and my mother. This was a woman who was like an aunt to me. The plan was she’d stay with us for two weeks and help me if I needed it while my mother was at work.
She arrives the night before my surgery, has dinner and breakfast and then goes with us to the hospital, all the while being extremely supportive and helping me and my mother through our anxieties about the surgery. Unfortunately, that’s where it stopped. When I woke up, Fat Witch had gone ‘to get lunch’ and had eaten too much and gotten food poisoning or something then had to go back to our place to sleep it off. Sounds legit enough at the time.
That night, my mother stayed to have dinner with me at the hospital. She got a call from Fat Witch, who was asking ‘Why aren’t you here? I come up here to hang out with you and you’re nowhere!’ My mother obviously replies that she’s in the hospital with me, to which Fat Witch says ‘He’ll be fine, let’s go to a bar!’
Surgery didn’t go as well as we thought it would so I ended up staying in the hospital for a few more nights, and every night it’d be the same thing. Then when I finally got home, Fat Witch would start saying the same things and start fights with my mother. ‘I came up to see you! Why aren’t we going out?! We’re meant to be having fun!’
Last time I saw her, she was meant to be hanging out with me while my mother was working, but instead, she was packing her stuff while complaining about my mother on the phone to her husband. She didn’t even say goodbye on the way out.
Apparently, my mom got a text from Fat Witch recently saying she was in town and she wanted to hang out because ‘she’d forgiven her.’ Mom obviously told her no and to not contact her again.”
“I Actually Cried”
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“I went out of town for 3 weeks and asked a friend to house sit. In exchange, I would pay her. All I needed was mail collected and garden watered every day (takes about 25 mins), and pick the beans and cucumbers (maybe 15 mins).
She hung out in my house all day every day playing video games. She watered the garden once, for a couple of hours, the day before I was to come back.
Everything was dead. Beans and cucumbers dead on the vines and my pumpkins and squash all got powdery mildew. I actually cried. I had cleared that garden space the previous year from 20 years of blackberry bramble and fixed the soil.
Yeah, I didn’t pay her. I ‘forgot.’ Sadly, the garden didn’t rebound. I moved from that place that spring and last I heard the blackberries took back over. We don’t speak anymore.”
Throwing Parties Was No Longer Their Forte
“Husband and I threw a party at our house once, but we’ll never do that again. So many guests just had no freaking respect for our property. One guy got in an argument with his girlfriend and punched a hole in the drywall in our downstairs bathroom out of frustration.
Someone threw a jello shot at the wall. It went unnoticed until morning when I found it had slid down the wall and ruined the carpet.
We had typical party food set out for people to eat but apparently, that wasn’t good enough for some people. I caught one lady cracking some of our eggs on to a paper plate because she wanted eggs. We caught another chick putting an entire bag of my pizza rolls into the microwave, bag and all. Seriously? We had tons of snacks out, there is no excuse to dig through OUR FRIDGE for something else.
People were smoking in the house when we clearly told everyone to smoke in the garage. We found lots of butts laying around in the house.
We’re done having parties.”
Trying To Help Out A Friend Was More Trouble Than They Were Worth
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“A friend became homeless so I took him in. He invited his boyfriend from another state to move in with us without consulting me. I didn’t say anything because I was terrified of living alone at the time (an ex was stalking me). He got a dog off of craigslist instead of paying rent. The dog hurt my little wiener dog and I had to deal with rehoming his dog because he couldn’t deal with the emotions. He misrepresented the situation to his boyfriend and made me sound like a terrible person.
My grandpa was in town and helped me move a futon out of storage to my home so my guests could stop sleeping on the couch. When we came inside, the autistic boyfriend was watching weird furry videos at his computer.
I left town for three days to visit a friend graduating from basic training. When I came back, they had moved out into another friend’s house (after talking crap about me), the house was unlocked, there was no water for my dog or cat, instead of changing the cat litter they had dumped it right outside the back door, empty cans were everywhere (I don’t know how they could have afforded to drink that much because they supposedly had no money), and an adult magazine was left on my bed. They were there for less than three weeks.
A couple months later, my friends’ lease expired. The couple had not yet gotten jobs. My former guests tried to ask to move back in, but I was tired of them walking all over me and told them no.”
Once She Had The Keys, It Was Party Time
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“One summer while my family was up north, my best friend at the time asked if her and my other good friend could use my pool. I said okay and told her where the key was. She ended up throwing not one, but THREE parties at my house without my knowledge. My grandmother even walked in on one because she was there to water the plants. The entire house was trashed. There were bleach spots on my lawn, big water stains on the kitchen tablecloth, and broken glass everywhere. We weren’t friends with her after that.”
Their Friend’s Crazy Episode Showed His True Colors
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“A few years ago I had just moved to another town ~100 km from my hometown to attend university.
One day as I’m about to make my way to class, I get a call from a close friend, telling me he dropped some acid and he’s on a train to [town I’m staying in]. He asks if he can come to my house to chill/smoke some weed. I obviously agree (I was a terrible student and as I said it was a close friend), go to pick him up at the station and make way back to the house, which I was sharing with two flatmates (both girls).
Everything seems to be fine, we blaze a couple joints, start watching some South Park and chill. Then, at one point one of my flatmates starts cooking lunch for all, we all eat our food, and she goes back to the kitchen as I go to the bathroom.
When I get back, I find my friend in the kitchen, where he’s cornered said flatmate, and out of the blue he asks her to sleep with him. He was getting more and more insistent about it. My flatmate refuses, obviously distressed by the situation, but I manage to grab my friend by the back of his shirt. I tell him we gotta go, and shove him outside the house, where I tell him I’m getting him on a train and he’s going back home. Later on, I found out he had had a huge mental breakdown, and was later diagnosed with schizophrenia and underwent some major therapy.
When I got back, my flatmates were talking about it, and even if they said it was all good, and nothing serious had really gone down (they were both very cool, I must say), I still feel kinda guilty to this day when I think about that episode, being the one who let the dude in.”
His Trashy Wife Wasn’t About To Dirty Their Home
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“My husband’s uncle’s wife died. They were married for thirty years, total sweethearts, and he was devastated. Aunt Dot was a wonderful person, and everyone loved her. He couldn’t cope with being alone so he put an ad out on Match.com and the first woman who replied; he married. She is the definition of white trash. He brought her to our house to stay for a long weekend to help us put in a deck in our backyard and so we could meet her. She decided to buy a puppy on the drive over, which wasn’t potty trained.
I’m at work when they arrive. I come home to puddles of pee all over my living room, with her sitting on my couch on a new laptop he bought her. She wasn’t watching her puppy, but instead was just letting it roam. I was in the kitchen at first and didn’t see what her puppy had done. Within five minutes, she told me how Aunt Dot’s adult children were terrible and trying to take his money, and that they didn’t approve of her and she kept going on and on. Then I saw the dog. I have two dogs myself but she had locked them outside. Needless to say, their weekend was cut short and they left early.”
From The First Conversation They Had, They Should’ve Known He Was Bad News
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“The worst houseguest we’d ever had was a guy who we had no choice but to invite to our weekly poker game. He creepily found out about our game night from a mutual friend and invited himself anyways, so we had little choice. It was around Christmas time, and he brings two fruit cakes and tells my roommate and I (we’re all girls) in front of our other friends (mostly guys) that the cakes are just for us because they’re low in ‘sat fat’ and ‘girls don’t wanna get fat.’
He then proceeded to play like an absolute pinhead: splashing the pot, trying to bet under the minimum, folding out of turn, etc. He was loud and rude and kept saying weird things all night.
Just as everyone was getting thoroughly sick of him, he turns to me and asks me if I want to go on a date sometime. In front of about 12 other people. I was not in any way attracted to this guy, nor had I done anything to encourage him to think so. I told him no as nicely as I could, but he persisted.
He asked me out again, and said: ‘If you say no this time, everyone will know it’s because you think you’re better than me, and I’m not good enough to go out with you.’
Of course, I wanted to tell him that I thought he was a butthole and that’s why I didn’t want to go out with him, but I didn’t want to end up having an SVU episode based on my gruesome murder. I sputtered out something about not wanting to date anyone at the moment, and he more or less accepted it and shut up. We never invited him back and we had poker at someone else’s house for two months after, just to be sure he wouldn’t show up.
He later got arrested for threatening to shoot his neighbor over a parking spot he’d shoveled out.”
This Poor Kitty Would Have Their Paws Frozen Off By The End Of This Visit
“We had a ‘friend’ staying with us for awhile. She was trying to get back on her feet. I had just adopted a new kitten, about 10 weeks old. One day, I am standing in the kitchen, talking with said ‘friend’ when I hear my new kitty meowing, loudly, but it sounds kind of muffled. I proceed to start looking around for her. She sounded distressed.
Said ‘friend’ just stands there with a kind of crooked smile. So, I asked her where the kitten was. She said she had no idea. The meows are getting less and less, and I am walking all over the place, waiting for the next meow to lead me to her.
SHE. WAS. IN. THE. FREEZER!!!
I pretty much screamed at the psycho, upon retrieving my shivering, confused and miserable kitten, ‘WHAT DID YOU DO???’
She smiled and said, ‘I thought you knew, cats love to be cold!’
I told her, well, that’s just great, and since she claimed to love and understand cats so much, she will appreciate how cold she would be tonight…on the street….out of my house. I told her she had about 10 minutes to get her crap and get out, or not only would she be getting a beating, I would be calling the police regarding her cruelty to animals. She left. Kitty survived to be 18 yrs old.”
Sug Was His Life
“When I was about 4 I got a stuffed rabbit wearing pajamas from a family friend of ours.
I took him everywhere. It took serious work for me not to take him to school. His fur was white as snow, so I named him Sugar.
Sugar was my bro. I told him everything, which as a military kid who moved every year and never got to make serious friends, ended up being quite a bit. Sugar and I loved watching the fish tank my mom had got me, I would just put my rocking chair up right in front of the tank and it was better than TV to me.
So we moved to the armpit of the US, a little town called Altus, Oklahoma. There was a girl next door who didn’t seem very nice, but she had a trampoline, so I was willing to deal with it, on the hopes of getting those sweet, sweet jumpy jumps.
She came over to our house first, just as a ‘getting to know you’ first introduction, and Sugar was pulling recon with me. She asked if she could see my rabbit, and I thought hard: Could I trust her? Should I do it so we could be friends and jump on the trampoline? I decided it couldn’t hurt, after all, we were on me and Sug’s home turf.
I no sooner handed her my best friend than she snatched him away, tore off both of his arms and ripped him from stem to stern.
It was a long time in my life before I knew pain like that again.”
Arriving Unannounced, And Leaving Just As Quickly
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“A friend broke up with her husband and stopped at my place one night while driving across the country with her two young kids and her entire house packed up.
No notice, but she’s a friend so I didn’t hesitate to open my door, feed, wash, and give everything needed.
Next morning I had to go to work. I absolutely had to. She’s like no problem, I’ll lock up on the way out.
I came home to a trashed house.
She took a nap but the kids didn’t. There was maple syrup in the carpets of three rooms and most surfaces, because kids, cats and syrup… Condiments were strewn across the kitchen, which was also flooded with milk. The cereal was found in and under the couches. Poor kids tried to make breakfast.
What ticked me off was that she saw the mess when she woke up, she bolted.”