How lucky is someone to find a mother-in-law who isn't a total nightmare?! These people unfortunately were saddled with some vicious women who really just wanted to stir up as much drama as humanly possible. Those family reunions must have been super awkward! Content has been edited for clarity.
Her Child Came So Close To Certain Death
“The angriest I have ever been with my mother-in-law happened nearly at the expense of my child’s life. One day, my two-year-old came to me with a handful of actual pills and asked me if she could have the ‘candy’. My automatic response was, ‘Not before breakfast,’ before I took a good look at what was in her hand and recognized it to definitely not be candy! Even worse, these pills were tranquilizers, and the amount she carried in her tiny hand could have legitimately killed her. How had my poor baby gotten so many of these pills in the first place? Well, it turns out that she had found them in my mother-in-law’s apron pocket. The previous day, my mother-in-law told her she could check in the apron pocket for a cookie. This happened in the days well before childproof medication containers. Apparently it was also before grandmothers had a modicum of common sense to having toddlers around them. I was not gentle when it came to telling off my mother-in-law. We had been visiting grandma’s house, my grandma desperately needed to childproof the entire place. Thank goodness my husband back me up on this. It didn’t take long to find a number of other items laying around that a child should not ingest. We even found some pot that was easily accessible, which is definitely a huge no-no for a toddler!”
Kicking Her While She Was Down
“I actually got along super well with my father-in-law, but never my mother-in-law. As hard as I tried, we just never clicked. Unfortunately, my father-in-law passed away from pancreatic cancer about four years ago. He had been acting as a pretty good buffer between me and my mother-in-law. He was gifted with the ability to jeep my mother-in-law in line somehow. Without him around to keep the peace, my mother-in-law becomes way more overbearing, bossy, and intrusive. No matter what the subject is, my mother-in-law is somehow a complete expert on it, and no one is allowed to disagree with her. She doesn’t care about your own experience, even if it’s a subject you’re clearly much more knowledgeable about!
This past summer, I discovered that I was pregnant! My husband and I had been trying to conceive for almost a year at that point, so we were totally overjoyed yet cautious. Miscarriages can be pretty common, and while we weren’t strictly keeping this pregnancy a secret, we were trying to keep the news amongst only immediate family and close friends. Shortly after my positive pregnancy test, I started to come under the weather with a serious case of vomiting. We assumed this was simply some morning sickness, so I did my best to power through an especially bland diet and small amounts of liquids. Unfortunately in weeks five through nine, I was dropping weight, becoming weaker, and vomiting more often. I became hospitalized for dehydration a number of times because I would vomit every fifteen minutes, basically making it totally impossible to stay hydrated. I quickly lost twenty percent of my body weight, and I was taken tot he hospital every three to five days for dehydration. I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum, a very serious pregnancy complication. This established a thirty percent chance of a miscarriage, and a two percent chance of maternal fatality. At this point, things weren’t much of a secret anymore, and I really wanted to only focus on improving my health. We asked everyone to please not send us any baby supplies until we were past the worst of this danger. We understood that parents on both sides of the family really wanted to celebrate, and we did appreciate their sentiment, but I really didn’t want to have all of these baby gifts in case we lost the baby.
Shortly after my latest hospital visit full of IV drips and meds, my husband and I fine these massive Amazon gift boxes on the front porch. We didn’t remember ordering anything, so we opened them to see what was inside. We saw all sorts of diapers, toys, and baby clothing. These were items that, at best, we couldn’t use for five months. At worst, we would donate to the local mother’s shelter since we couldn’t use them. I was beyond upset. How dare my mother-in-law completely disregard my only wishes in favor of this potential baby. I really wanted to burn all of the gifts in our backyard and send her the photos. My husband calmed me down, which was fairly easy since I didn’t have the energy for much of anything. He then called his mother to tell her that if she sent anything else, we would be donating it immediately. Did my mother even care about me at all? I was so tired of her ignoring my feelings!”
Trapped In A Miserable Spot
“My mother-in-law magically transformed into my monster-in-law when she could no longer get any men interested in her. She actually gave up her sons when they were two and four after divorcing their father, so she could run away with all sorts of men. She wanted to follow one to California, so she left her boys with the father, who was a real addict. For many years she traveled all over the country in different relationships. Then she got old and couldn’t find any men to live with. So she comes back. She starts depending on my (now adult) husband to help her move back to the area. She has quite driving, so he has to take her everywhere. I really did try to be pleasant to her, and I would host her at our house every Wednesday night. My husband and I would invite her to all of our holidays events and birthday parties. We even arranged a surprise birthday party just for her! I would always put in so much thought into everything I bought her, but no matter what, she was never satisfied! One time, she even returned to me a gift that I gave her because it apparently just wasn’t for her. What does that even mean?!
Over time, it became more clear that she resented having me around so much. She would take my husband to lunch for some mother-son bonding, but I was never invited to those outings. Another time, all three of us were at a party, and she pushed me aside just to hold her son’s hand. I was forced to follow along behind them. Seriously, what the heck?! At one point, I needed to go to the hospital for this outpatient procedure. It turns out that my monster-in-law absolutely had to go shopping that day, so she needed my husband to driver her. I had to get my brother-in-law take me to and from the hospital. Believe it or not, it was becoming pretty evident that my husband cared more about his mother than me! Not that we have to be competing, but couldn’t he spread the love and appreciation a little more my way? Ironically, I was the one who encouraged y husband to reconnect with his mom, because at first he wanted absolutely nothing to do with her! I somehow brought all of this on myself for letting it happen!
It really got to the point where my mother-in-law was openly rude to me, just wanting some alone time with my husband. She would take as long as humanly possible to get her groceries and go out to lunch with my husband, just so she could take him away from me and be with him the entire day. She would call him if she needed anything, and he would immediately go running after her. She would completely ignore the fact that her sister only lived three blocks away from her! My husband and I would fight over it. He was well aware of what she was doing, but he ultimately didn’t care. If she called the house, she would never want to talk to me. I had reached my absolute breaking point. This woman found so much joy by making me miserable and taking advantage of her son. She had totally abandoned her son for thirty years while she went all around the country, but my husband was somehow willing to completely overlook all of that. To be honest, I should have divorced my husband and let my mother-in-law totally have him! But here I am, still dealing with this beyond frustrating scenario!”
She Had No Idea What Boundaries Are
“One day, my mother-in-law burst into the room and interrupted me talking to my husband. She told him to just ignore me and go to bed. I was in so much pain, since I was recovering from a pretty severe fourth degree childbirth ‘rip’, in addition to my chronic back pain that was aggravated by the entire ordeal. It had only been twenty-four hours since I got back from the hospital, and my husband and I had immediate family staying in town. BY that point, I was so weak. I barely ate, and I was roasting with a fever, not to mention the horribly infected wound. I needed a lot of help just to go to the bathroom or get a cup of tea. At one point I managed to walk to the kitchen doused in sweat, but I felt like I was about to faint. I was asking my husband to make me some tea, which was when my monster-in-law opened the door and told him to scram. Instead, he took me to another room, where I opened up to him about how I was feeling and that I might need to go to the ER, bu I just wanted some comforting tea first. The mother-in-law barged in once again and finally dragged my husband away. I was surprised and too weak to really get angry about the entire thing.
Well, I ended up staying in the emergency room that night. The very next morning, when I was sleeping back with my husband at our house, my mother-inlaw actually CLIMBED IN OUR BED AND LAY BETWEEN US! She lifted my gown, pouring Epsom salt on me and rubbing it all over my back and body. I had never agreed to this! I tried to confront her about this later on, but she said how she meant well and genuinely thought this was a good thing to do. SHe had no idea how to be a good mother-in-law, or what boundaries are! Apparently after I rightfully confronted her, she began badmouthing me to a bunch of other family members, definitely stretching the truth in many cases. Also, while she was visiting us in my recovery process, she ended up moving around a lot of our furniture to her liking. She also criticized my choice in where to place the baby bassinet, so she moved that too. She even rearranged the contents of our cupboards! Eventually, word got back to me about all of my faults that she apparently found, and that was it for me. I realized that there wasn’t much point in lashing out at her, and that kindness really would go a long way. That said, I have little if any motivation to be close with her. I have tried my best to forgive her, but I no longer reach out to her on my own. Thankfully I have made a full recovery, but it’ll take longer to recover emotionally from my mother-in-law’s complete and utter lack of boundaries!”
Deliberately Sabotaging The Parents
“Disciplining is my biggest issue. Every time that I discipline my son, my mother-in=law always thinks I am being too unfair and harsh towards him. I made him sit in timeout for one minute when he was one, two minutes when he was two, and now three minutes since he is three. I always talk to my son after his timeouts to tell him what he did wrong, and what he could do better next time. One time, when my son was two, I had put him into timeout and my mother-in-law came over, not knowing what he even did. She cooed at him, ‘Aww, my little boy, come over here!’
At this point, I had instructed my son to understand that when he was in timeout, he couldn’t leave unless me or his father took him out. He simply just sat there in his time out and looked at me with confusion. My husband and I would always stay near him when he was in timeout, so he knew which one of us would be talking to him afterwards. I just simply shook my head, and he sat there quietly, even when my mother-in-law told him to go to her. She hated that he wouldn’t go to her when she wanted him to. She proceeded to say to my face that I was a ‘bad mother’ because, according to her, ‘He’s too young to know what he did wrong. He’s just a baby!’
I agree that he probably didn’t FULLY understand why he was in timeout, but as I mentioned before, I always talk to him after his timeouts to ask if he knows what he did, and to let him know what he needs to do next time. Whenever she says such things to my husband and me, we just have to ignore her, because even after explaining why we put him in timeout and how it’ll help him understand what’s okay and not okay, she and the father-in-law just don’t want to listen or accept it. They choose to call us ‘bad parents’, which is completely absurd and totally unwarranted.
With kids, it’s a game of repetition. In order for them to know that something is dangerous or not appropriate, one has to teach them by telling, showing, or through discipline. There’s so much more I could say about this subject, but I don’t want this to turn into one massive rant. My husband and I have done the research, and my in-laws are basing this purely on their own misguided opinions. That isn’t very cool of them.
Caught Red-Handed
“My father-in-law died eight years before I married my husband, so I never met him. My mother-in-law lived with my husband, daughter, and me for four very long years. She was a great help, but she could also be such a nuisance. We definitely had some conflicts. The worst thing she ever did was lie to my own mother who was visiting. She told her that I was making her do all the dishes and laundry, even though she had told me that she wanted to do those chores because she didn’t want to sit around all day! She also told her that when she first came to live with us, I apparently never wanted to cook anything for her and I would heat up canned soup for her dinner, so she lost twenty pounds as a result. Um, excuse me?! My husband worked shifts, so he was at work during our dinnertime. I cooked and froze dinners for him, and I cooked dinner for my mother-in-law every night. She didn’t care for the things I made, so she said that she would be happy with just a bowl of soup for dinner. According to her, that was often what she ate at home herself. Why would she blatantly lie like this?!
I was shocked at her appalling behavior. After my parents went home, my husband and I sat down with her to have it out with her. She would not admit to telling those lies! She said that she really wanted to do dishes and laundry, and she was happy with the soup. Despite our best efforts, there was absolutely no getting through to her. The only thing that we could do was to let this behavior go. We were able to move my mother-in-law eventually to her own apartment, and my husband even fixed up the kitchen for her so she could cook her own meals. To be frank, this woman could be a wonderful person, and I wasn’t entirely blameless. I would get into arguments with her just like anyone who lives together would. I did let out the biggest sigh of relief once I didn’t have to live with this woman anymore though. I think that the reason my mother-in-law was such a compulsive liar was pretty sad actually. She really wanted people to feel sorry for her, so she would try to gain sympathy points from my own mother. When I first met my mother-in-law, she would always complain to me about her other daughter-in-law and act like she was the victim, so this unfortunately made far too much sense.”
It Took Way Too Much To Finally Get Through To Her
My mother-in-law, who lived in the next state over, had the habit of arriving for a visit totally unannounced. She would just show up with her suitcase and ring the doorbell, planning to stay for three or four days or even a week! It was aggravating to have unexpected company so often, to say the least. About the second or third time she did this, I had a conversation about it and asked her nicely to please let us know next time when she was planning to come and stay with us. Frankly, I thought that her son should be the one to have this conversation with her, but he wasn’t taking any action, so it would be up to me. About six months after I had that conversation with her, when I thought I had actually gotten through to her, the doorbell rang at five in the evening. There was my mother-in-law once again, suitcase in hand. But this time she brought along my sister-in-law and three of her kids! This was all completely unannounced, and my husband and I were right about to enjoy some dinner! I was pretty angry at this decision. I simply told my mother-in-law, ‘I thought you were going to let us know next time.’
I then hurried upstairs without my dinner, and I left my husband to deal with the situation. By that point, I had enough of dealing with the family! I think that evening finally got through to her. She never arrived unannounced ever again, but I am still bewildered that she thought we could just drop everything and accomodate her at a moment’s notice. Seriously, what else has she been doing backwards that would probably drive me insane?!”
What Did She Think Would Happen
“I recall quite vividly how my mother-in-law was pretty adamant about getting to know me better, but I was still fairly guarded around her. This was because I witnessed her acting like someone’s best friend, then turning around and trash-talking them instantly, revealing all of the secrets and private information that person had confided to her. I knew the real version of my mother-in-law, not the fake smiley version she made everyone believe in. If someone tells me something private, I feel honored that they trust in me enough to confide, and there is no way that I would spread gossip! So my mother-in-law kept badgering me about what was going on in my life, trying to get more personal information from me. She was constantly just digging and digging! She would even start talking about someone else at times, in order for me to supposedly open up to her more. But that was the exact wrong thing to do. After several months of me trying to shut down this behavior, she finally realized that nothing she could say or do would bring us closer together. In fact, her words were causing us to grow further apart. One day she directly asked me why I didn’t like her. I told her it was because she was so two-faced! I also said how I had no desire for her to do that to me, because it would only be a matter of time. She acted so offended, but come on! She made her behavior quite noticeable, so of course someone was going to speak up about this!”
Jealousy Made Her Do Strange Things
“My mother-in-law would give me presents and then later ask for them back. I am completely serious. She did this to me at least five times! When I was newly married thirty years ago, my mother-in-law gave me a very tiny set of diamond earring that were set in platinum. They were about the size of the head of a pin. I truly adored them, especially since I never really had any nice jewelry growing up. I think that, over time, she became jealous of the relationship between me and my husband. She ended up asking my husband for the earrings back about five years after we got married. I was her first daughter-in-law, but I never felt supported by her. Both she and my father-in-law were fairly snobby towards me. They were never kind or generous people. Believe it or not, I actually introduced my mother-in-law’s oldest son to my neighbor, and now they are married! I never received any gratitude from her! Those in-laws have since passed away. I don’t harbor any ill will towards them now, but good grief was it difficult to interact with them!”
Was The Third Time The Charm?
“I actually had three mother-in-laws. Look, marriage is hard, and these men were not the ones for me. The mother-in-laws were all frustrating in their own specific ways, but they were a whole lot better than the men that I was married to! My first mother-in-law was weirdly obsessed with convincing her son to become a priest, even though he clearly had no interest in doing so! The conversations we all had together were quite awkward as a result. My second mother-in-law was very, very difficult. Her husband had left her to raise three boys all on her own. She was often nasty towards her son, who grew up in poverty and violence. I let a lot of her behavior just fly, because I wanted to be impartial towards this family. But one day the two of us were visiting a nearby dress shop. I really enjoyed this blouse and went to go and buy it. In an instant, she grabbed the blouse out of my hands and told me that I shouldn’t waster her son’s money. I was a successful attorney, so I definitely had my own money to use! I told her that I would buy whatever I wanted to, and her son’s money was merely a drop in the bucket. She looked pretty shocked, but I was outraged and needed to make myself be heard. I don’t think that her mind fully comprehended that a wife could make much more money than her husband. She learned a valuable lesson from then on, and we actually stayed close even after I filed for divorce from her son.
Finally, my third mother-in-law was married to a verbally abusive womanizer with a major creep factor. He was a massive narcissist, and he left her feeling timid and quiet, but once he passed away, the real woman finally came out. This mother-in-law turned out to be fantastic. I would have gladly traded her for my own mother. She still treated me like family, even after her son and I divorced. I always felt included around her. It turns out that marriage is not for me, but I do not regret coming across this fantastic woman, even though it took me a while to reach that point!”