Content edited for clarity. Everyone has experienced something hurtful to a certain extent. However, there are some things that leave a lasting impression. This carries through for ages. And for the most part, it isn't the best feeling. Even if it happened decades ago! Sometimes you just need to vent a little bit about how those middle school bullies made you feel like a loser. And we are here for it.
When I Was A Kid Part One
1. “‘You’re poor ewww’ and ‘Why is your lunch so smelly. DOG EATER’ were the things I heard. I grew up not super-wealthy like other kids being first-generation with immigrant parents. It really hurt. I hated eating the lunches my mom made while other kids ate Lunchables and pre-packaged foods or bought food from the cafeteria.
Looking back, I shouldn’t have been ashamed given my mom was making really nice bentos. So I’d forego eating lunch almost every day. I’d eat maybe a small bag of chips since that was cheap to get. To this day, I don’t really eat lunch.”
2. “When I was 10, I was washing my hands in the park bathroom when two older girls came in. They started saying, ‘You know this is the girl’s bathroom, right?’
And then told me the boy’s bathroom was on the other side. I was very confused and nodded along until one of them finally said, ‘Wait, I think that’s a girl,’ and they both started laughing and saying sorry in a bit of a half-hearted, jokey way before leaving me alone.
I had people make fun of my appearance before and after that- mostly it was because I had really short hair (nobody in my family knew how to take care of afro type hair, so it was always very damaged and never grew). But something about that encounter still cuts deep 10 years later. I’ve finally gotten my hair to shoulder-length and I’m not really mistaken for a guy anymore, but I don’t think I’ll ever not be self-conscious about my hair.”
3. “When I was in middle school, we had to change in the bathroom and one time I changed and one of my nuts slipped out my boxer and my so-called friend saw and told everybody I had a tiny wiener. We were 13 and it ruined my self-esteem with intimacy. I’ve done the deed with a few people since then and although I’ve never asked what they think about my size they have all given positive reviews. It eased up my insecurity a lot but in the back of my head that 13-year-old who got embarrassed still exists.”
4. “In fourth grade, everyone in my class had to give valentines to everyone else. I got one from ‘Sandy’ that said, ‘You are ugly.’
I mean, I knew that, but I didn’t realize it was such a big deal! Some kid who I barely knew took the time to write ‘you are ugly’ on my valentine, make it a big deal, remind me that being ugly isn’t okay, and tank my self-esteem for a long time.”
When I Was A Kid Part Two
1. “When I was in school, I was often called a ‘garden gnome’ because I was short and fat I guess. I never forgot that. I remember seeing a picture on someone’s Facebook of me in a crowd and someone had written: ‘Look in the back! Found the gnome.’ It hurt because I was never even mean to these kids but they hated me enough to do that.”
2. “This one time when I was a kid, I was wearing my soccer shoes and running from my house to the car to go to a game. My dad was waiting for me inside the car and he saw me running. When I got inside he told me, ‘Don’t run with those shoes on again.’
To which I said, ‘You’re right, I might trip and fall, and hurt myself.’
To which he replied, ‘I don’t give a frick about you, but those shoes were expensive.’
It’s been about 28 years since that happened and I still remember that moment and how deep my heart hurt like it just happened.”
3. “I was around 10 years old and sitting in the car at a McDonald’s drive-thru waiting to order when my Dad reaches over and grabs my stomach. He poked and grabbed a handful of my stomach and asked, ‘What’s this?’
I just went quiet, and as you can imagine, was not really interested in McDonald’s that night. Not that it matters (because no one should do that to another person under any circumstances) but I was not an overweight child. I was a healthy/ average weight, and still am. But even now, decades later, I am really self-conscious about my stomach.”
4. “I was pretty chubby in elementary school. This little boy was always a bully with me and would tease me. One day he made himself a double chin on purpose and was teasing me saying he looked like me. It was in the middle of class, we were sat at the same little table so I couldn’t really leave the situation. I was a shy kid, I didn’t really know how to respond and I wasn’t the type to snitch to a teacher. I have always had body image issues since, and struggle with an eating disorder to this day. Although of course, other factors throughout my life play into my struggles of today, I have never been able to forget that. I know it started something in me that to this day I don’t know how to kick.”
Teenagers Are The Worst
1. “When I was in high school, the locker next to mine belonged to a boy and he was always standing there in the mornings when I came in. So I would say ‘good morning’ just being polite. I had no interest in him whatsoever but I heard him talking to his friends one day that he would even give me ‘brown bag special.’ That hurt more than it should.”
2. “When I was in ninth grade, my friends literally made me feel stupid almost 24/7. I was a very naive kid and would sometimes say or do really dumb things without thinking. My friends always made fun of me or laughed at me. Sometimes I’d laugh along because it was funny and other times it just flat out hurt my feelings.
This happened all the time. I’d make a comment on anything, like the weather, and my two friends would look at each other and just burst out laughing, and they’d never ever tell me what was so funny or why, they’d just laugh and it would always be at me. They’d try to tell me they weren’t laughing at me, but you’d say another thing and then they’d laugh harder so you just knew it was directed towards you but couldn’t figure out why because they’d never tell you. I eventually stopped hanging out with them as we got into high school. But still to this day, having people randomly burst out laughing at me and not tell me why or what I did that is making them laugh so hard, it hurt me more than anything. It’s just downright rude.”
3. “My experience was at lunch. I had someone tell me I shouldn’t be allowed to eat cause I was so fat I could starve myself for a year and still be fat. I never ate lunch at school again.”
4. “My best friend constantly said, ‘It was probably something unnecessary again’ to me when she didn’t really hear what I said. Doesn’t sound too harsh but it made me stop talking as much and thinking of myself as a boring person people don’t enjoy talking to.”
5. “When I was in school a few years ago, my history teacher was handing out papers and asked my classmate ‘Zack’ to hand them out. He then proceeded to ask the teacher, ‘Why not ask (my name) instead? She clearly needs the exercise.’
I always knew I was chubby but that comment really made me realize that’s how others look at me too. The thought of everyone else in class thinking that just destroyed me.”
Things Don’t Change In College
1. “One time in college, I shared a politics class with this guy, who said that maybe he and I should eventually get together because we’re the ugly ones in the class. This stung so freaking much man. I’ve had a glow-up since then but I’m still an ugly duckling on the inside. That was so crippling at the time.”
2. “After I dropped out of college, dad decided the best solution was to scream at me. It was a very long tirade. But the standout was,
‘You’re going to be stupid and worthless now! You’ll never get a good job! You’ll have to sell yourself out, and you can’t do that because you’re too fat! You’ll end up starving in a gutter if you try because no one will ever want to do anything with you!”
I’m a guy. I still remember that day vividly. It is not a fun thing to remember.”
3. “When I was in college, I went on a mission trip to Honduras. My home church supported me, with the caveat that I give a presentation to the congregation when I got back. I wasn’t comfortable with that, because I hate speaking in public, but I needed the money, so I put together a slideshow and a 30-minute presentation.
When I was done, the youth minister came up to me and said, ‘Blah blah blah!’
I asked what that meant and he said, ‘That’s what you sounded like up there! I couldn’t understand a word you said!’
Little did he know that I had spent my entire life being told to ‘speak up!’ and ‘stop mumbling!’ by everyone from my dad to teachers to bank tellers. To say that was a blow to my self-esteem is a massive understatement. I still think about that every time I have to do a job interview or any other thing where I’m talking for long periods of time.”
What Is Normal?
1. What is the ‘normal’ way to walk and run? I’ve never noticed or thought that anyone else walked or ran weirdly. And yet, I was constantly told, ‘Wow you look awkward doing this,’ ‘You look weird walking,’ ‘Your head bounces too much when you walk,’ ‘You run like a freak,’ (by my own family thanks guys). Like, jeez, sorry my shambling sack of bones upsets you when it exercises. I’m doing the best I can.
2. This was literally the worst. In high school, I used to receive a lot of comments about how I looked when I played sport (running, jumping, even throwing a ball). I have an issue with my leg that I’m a bit self-conscious of anyway but that’s beside the point. All those comments still make me so anxious to exercise when I’m around other people.
3. The running thing made me super self-conscious whenever I ran or even walked because now I was aware of ‘how dumb I looked’ when I did anything. One of my best friends used to be my carpool in school, and whenever I would walk from his mom’s car to my front door, his mom would just sit there and laugh at me. When I asked her about it afterward she told me it’s because I look really stupid when I walk. That went on for about a year or two until I got my own car. I’m 24 now and still feel weird walking in front of people.
I used to be pretty heavyset in high school. Like five more pounds and I would have been classified as morbidly obese (I’m healthy now, but it’s important for the story). Every couple of weeks in gym class we would have Fitness Day. That day would either consist of us doing a P90x style circuit of random physical activities for an hour or running x amount of laps until we hit a mile. On a running day, as a chunky dude, I obviously had a little of a ‘wobble’ when I ran. My friends noticed and then would laugh and make fun of me every time I would run, and even gave me a fun nickname. ‘Mister Wobbles.'”
Parents Can Be Brutal
1. I have stretch marks because I’m very tall for my age and had a growth spurt.
My mom said to me, ‘You look like a tiger with these stretch marks, Everybody will think you’re ugly.’
Thanks, mom for making me hate myself even more. They are cool alone, but not when you’re being called that by both your parents and they forget it a week later and if you bring it up they deny anything because they are ‘perfect parents.’
2. I was in love with ballet and begged my mom every day to let me join. One day she just turned to me and said, ‘Why bother? You’re gonna be short and fat and ballerinas can’t be hippos.’
It ruined me. I never understood why she said that.
3. I was trying to learn guitar and I fell in love with it. I would practice everyday after school. I tried showing my dad how I was progressing and he asked me, ‘Is that all you can do?’
It’s been five years and I’ve never touched my guitar since then.
4. When my family was moving overseas, my little brother, who was six at the time, and I were sharing the bed while my parents and my baby sister had the other bed. My Dad came in the room while I was sleeping. He woke me up and told me, ‘You’re the reason your mom and I are getting a divorce!’
I had just turned 11 and I’ll never understand why he said those things. I’m 56 now and it still bothers me when I allow myself to think of stupid and unnecessary things he said. He would always say, ‘When you have kids you’ll understand why.’
Well, the only thing I ever understood was how not to treat my boys! I’ve got five boys and I can’t ever imagine saying anything that would ever scar them for life.
5. I was around seven years old. My mum invited her friend around and she brought her daughter along. We were playing and the girl told me about her ballet classes. I asked my mum if I could go to ballet class with her and she said they’d take one look at me and tell me sumo wrestling was down the hall and I was in the wrong room. This was about 15 years ago and it still hurts to think about it. I’ve brought it up before and she conveniently doesn’t remember. Thanks, mum!”
People Who Should Care
1. “When I was younger, an older friend that I used to look up to back then told me while we’re having fun in a group, ‘If could see yourself laugh, you would probably never laugh again.’
I’m still self-conscious about my laugh 10 years later.”
2. “I used to clash with a guy at work who was the office ‘funny guy’. I guess some of the problem was that he got upset when people started saying I was funny. Because that was his ‘thing’, he really had it in for me. One day we were all talking in a meeting and I responded to something funny he said with a similar yet very light, none offensive joke which got a few small chuckles.
He clapped back with ‘My girlfriend said that too, and it wasn’t funny when she said it either.’
Everyone in the room laughed and I got sad, died inside, and decided to never talk again.”
3. “My ex-boyfriend and I had a common friend. When we were still dating he told our friend, ‘She’s like a puppy.’
Our friend confided this info to me. I thought it was a good thing until he said that he added, ‘You can do whatever you want and say whatever you want and she’ll still be happy to see you.’
My forgiving personality was taken for granted.”
4. It’s not really an insult but I was told, ‘There’s no way she could have done that.’
My teacher said this after I told her that I was being bullied. She was a really nasty teacher. She never did anything even though my mom and I told her that I was being called hurtful things, humiliated, and physically abused. Heck, someone punched in my face and two teeth came out, and she thought I was overreacting when I was crying and terrified. I was six at that time.
After 17 years and I still have a hard time trusting people and it’s really hard to open up or tell my worries to friends and family because I always remember those times when I never got help when I need it the most.”
Say Cheese
1. “I’m 31 now, but I had to pay for my own braces at 28 and now have two bars behind my teeth to keep them straight. I used to be afraid to smile. I was working in a school (before I got braces) and a grade two student looked at me and laughed and said ‘Your teeth are ugly!’ And then all his friends laughed, not going to lie, I nearly started crying.”
2. “My teeth are weird and bumpy. People pointed out this a lot often and I would get some weird looks from people almost every time I opened my mouth in front of someone new. So I talk less and keep myself from laughing in public at anything funny. I remember what all happened and then have a good laugh when I’m alone. Also, this is the reason why I talk to myself frequently.”
3. “I got made fun of for my teeth when I was young. They were all over the place and I had to have braces twice and a permanent retainer to fix them. The other kids would laugh if I smiled or laughed because they were making fun of my teeth. I’m 31 with a beautiful smile now and I’m still weird about smiling.”
4. “As a kid I had a terrible overbite and crooked teeth, and I got called Betty Beaver or rabbit. We were way too poor for orthodontics, so I didn’t get them fixed until I was in college. I sometimes see people I knew in school and they literally don’t recognize me since the braces completely changed my face. But even with a perfectly straight smile, I’m constantly self-conscious because of what those kids said all those years ago.”
5. “While pregnant with my son, my teeth got really, really bad. Like, they’re so bad. I try not to open my mouth too much when I speak or laugh. One day, I was at work, chatting with a customer about something stupid. Another customer came up, and told me, very loudly, that my teeth were disgusting, and I should probably just not talk anymore. The nice customer stuck up for me, but the damage was done. I left work right then, telling my manager why – he understood, and since we were slow, he let me leave.
Since then, you will never see me laugh or speak without covering the bottom half of my face. I feel so ugly and gross all the time, it causes me so much stress and anxiety. I’m legit happy to be wearing masks all the time. I know I need to have my teeth fixed, but I don’t have insurance, and it will cost at least $20,000 to have them fixed. I’m currently trying to get insurance, and I am saving for surgery.”
They Went Too Far
1. After finding out I had stage three cervical cancer, I called my recent ex-husband and father of my child, he said it was good and I deserved it. I cried until I had no tears left. It was a few years ago now, so it stings less but at the time I believed it. I actually thought I deserved it, I was on a bus on my way home crying my eyes out and a complete stranger came up and hugged me.
2. My soccer coach and freshman math teacher made a crack at my nips during a cold day of practice. I’m a dude with a tiny bit of gynecomastia. I’m skinny, it’s just some puffy nips. It was absolutely devastating to a 13-year-old who already had image issues. I didn’t want to go topless for a decade afterward. I could have shrugged it off if it was from another kid, but from an adult? That was messed up.
Family Can Be The Worst
1. I was in a hospital waiting room with several relatives. We were all supporting my cousins ‘P’ and ‘K’ while their mother was in the process of dying. In the middle of a conversation, I get a text on my phone from a number I didn’t have saved that said something to the effect of, ‘Your dramatic baby sis is just going on and on. God, does she ever shut up?!?’
A couple more texts showed up that made me realize it was my cousin ‘A’, and she thought she was texting my sister. It suddenly washed over me how obnoxious everyone must think I am all the time, and from that day on, I started to turn into a completely different person. I was so horrified by the idea that relatives of mine would pretend to enjoy spending time with me that I now passively avoid having to interact with them a lot. I also try to catch myself before I talk too much, and I constantly worry that nobody in my life actually wants to be in my presence, including my father and the sister that text was meant for.
2. My friend’s wasted aunt told my girlfriend and I we shouldn’t have children, because we’re kind of ugly. It affected my girlfriend more than me, as I never had any respect for that woman’s opinion, but it’s something that I’m not likely to forget.
3. In my family, I’m the second oldest of the third generation that lives with me and I’m pretty skinny and tall (compared to the rest; also I’m 5’9 and I weigh about 117lbs). My parents, aunt, uncle, and grandma usually poke fun at my weight and structure and I laugh it off because I know they don’t mean it but when I get to my sister and cousins, then it’s the time I don’t know if they’re joking or actually insulting me. Don’t get me wrong I love my family but I consider my family’s opinion really highly so when my sister and cousins start calling me a stick cause of my frame and weight it brings me down a little bit and that builds up and I snapped; and for a whole month of quarantine, I ate a lot more than I can handle resulting me into taking medicine to help. I also tried to start exercising to stay fit, as I do volleyball and marching band and those usually need a lot of endurance to do. Whenever I tried to tell them I exercised, they never believed me and that usually brings me down to the point of stopping exercising. They also call me a stick whenever I play my bari sax as that’s almost as wide as me. Now every time I look in the mirror without my shirt on I start getting self-conscious about my weight and height.