They say the best revenge is living well, but, for some people, that just isn't the case. These people decided to take the route of ice-cold revenge. It definitely sends a message, no one wants to be on their bad side.
Here are all the best Reddit stories from people who got revenge on others who were causing them grief. And oh, boy, did these people go to the extreme. Content has been edited for clarity.
Ruined Chocolate For Them Forever
“When I was in 4th grade, we took a class trip to the symphony and I loved it. If you’ve ever heard a live symphony, then you know how amazing the sound it. I’d never heard something that awesome before! I was so excited that I turned to my friend next to me and made a comment like, ‘Wow, this is totally rad!’ Well, there were two girls sitting behind us and they complained to the teacher, saying that my friend and I had talked through the whole performance and ruined it for them. My buddy and I got in some serious trouble for that and we had to sit in detention for several recesses.
Detention was super boring, no talking or reading; you just had to sit there. With nothing else to do, I plotted my revenge.
The next week, I brought some chocolate flavored laxatives to class. I apologized to the girls for being such a terrible disturbance during the symphony and offered them the chocolate just before class got started. The first hour passed without any action, but in the middle of math, things got interesting. It’s important to say that our teacher was a pretty old school authoritarian and had a very strict hall pass policy: Only one student out at a time. So, as the girls started to squirm and act uncomfortable, I told my friend to take the hall pass. Almost immediately, the girls’ hands went up, asking to use the bathroom. No go, as my buddy had the hall pass. They squirmed and pleaded and begged and still, our teacher wouldn’t let them go. Then, that magical moment I hadn’t dared to hope for: in the middle of reviewing our multiplication tables, they pooped their pants. It was so awesome, so much win! Everyone in the class nearly died laughing, then nearly died from gagging. It was soon revealed that I was responsible. I was sent to the principal’s office and my family was threatened with criminal charges, but the months of teasing that those two girls endured made it worth it!”
Money Well Spent
“My college girlfriend came into a substantial inheritance. Right after that, she dumped me because she didn’t see any financial potential in me and didn’t want me coming near that money she’d just received. About five years later, we ran into each other. Because I was on vacation in the US from Korea and didn’t have a US bank account, I happened to have over $4,000 cash in my wallet. She came up to say hi and tried to chit chat with me.
I cut her off. Then, I took a hundred dollar bill out of my wallet, crumpled it up, threw it at her. I said, ‘Hey, great to see you, but I don’t have time for small talk. Here. Go get yourself some lunch.’ The look on her face made that the best hundred bucks I ever spent.”
The Homework Thief
“There were a group of girls/guys who hated me in middle school because I was the typical weird girl/geek type who liked anime. They would shove me into lockers, insult me, make fun of the way I talked, steal my books, and just generally make my life miserable. One girl eventually became their ringleader because she pretended to be my friend only to spill all my secrets to them for future bullying use. I decided to take her down.
At our school, if you did not have your required homework or materials, you would get three written warnings. After the third one, you would get detention. After five, you would serve two detentions. You also got a zero for the grade if you did not have your homework. I found out the ringleader’s locker combination. I would proceed to steal one of her books, or hide her homework elsewhere, only for it to turn up the next day where she thought it would be. I did this for a little over a month. By this time, her grades tanked to failing. She wasn’t doing that great to begin with. She had served many detentions and the teachers generally lost all trust and respect for her. Especially when she would blame me in class. But, I was sitting here reading the whole time, teacher! How could I have done anything? I confronted her on the way to lunch one day, telling her to get her friends to back off or else she would have more problems. She never spoke a word to me again after that and the others did back off. Bullying solved, no thanks to the school system that permitted it.”
Recess Is Like The Wild West
“When I was 8 years old, a girl at school tried to lasso me with a skipping rope. I broke free and broke her skipping rope in the process. She proceeded to tell on me to the teacher.
Probably because she was a good girl and I was a little trouble-maker, the teacher believed her. She ordered me to either fix the girl’s skipping rope or buy her a new one.
Sensing an opportunity, I said I’d fix the girls skipping rope. It was one of those hollow rubber ones a bit like a hose with rubber handles at either end. The fix was to stuff the ‘hose’ back into the handle fixing it in place with crazy glue. I, however, used inferior wood glue so that the handle would break off again.
I know what you’re thinking… A sub-par repair job does not make a very good revenge story. Well, she soon figured out what 8-year-old boy she shouldn’t mess with when the handle broke off and the grape juice I had filled the entire length of skipping rope up with came flying out all over her and her silly little skipping friends.”
Strategic Planning, Major Payoff
“When I was 21, I had just moved to a new city into a townhome-style apartment with some friends of mine. We all had jobs at a tire factory and as such worked shift work. When we moved in, we were given very explicit parking spots that were conveniently unmarked. These parking spots were not in front of our townhouse; they were a few buildings down. Fast forward a few months – the king of prick moves in a few doors down from us, right by our parking spots. This guy was a real piece of work. I overheard him making fun of our neighbor’s daughter who has cerebral palsy. He was saying something about how it must suck to be ugly and knowing nobody would ever want to touch you.
Anyway, my roommates and I were working nights one time from 7 pm – 7:30 am, so we generally slept the days away. It was early spring, all the snow was melting, and the city issued some signs saying that the streets had to be cleared on whatever day they could clean the gravel/rocks/garbage from the winter months. Our parking spots weren’t on the street, they were in a parking lot place off the street. So we parked and went to sleep like normal. We wake up, go to do our regular routine, and boom – vehicles are all gone. We do some calling around and find out they were towed. So we go through this hassle of finding a way down there, paying the fees, and getting our vehicles back. Between the cab rides, tow fees, tickets, and a few missed work hours, this ended up costing us about $500 each.
Our horrible neighbor ends up telling us in passing the next day how he forgot to move his cars. So, he called the cops and reported that he couldn’t park off the street because somebody was illegally parked in his spot. The police ran our plates, got our address, and apparently tried ringing the doorbell, which none of us heard because we were sleeping. I’m not sure about my roommates, but I was still adjusting to shift work and slept with my AC on plus earplugs. So yeah, we were pretty mad about all of this. We had a few conversations on how we could get back at the neighbor. One night, we came up with this:
The neighbor had a pretty decent girlfriend. I’m not really sure why she was with him – maybe he was nice to people that slept with him. Regardless, we followed his schedule for a while. His girlfriend was out of the house at the same times on the same days working: Tuesday – Saturday, 8-4:30. It helped that I worked with this chick at Future Shop to know her schedule. We staged a few fake pizza deliveries, and this dude never answered the door if she was home. Easy enough.
So one Monday that summer, we called a working girl. We told this chick exactly what to say in any situation. Took about two hours of coaching and going through mock situations, but it played out flawlessly. It did cost us $100 an hour for three hours. We sent her over there, she knocked, the girlfriend opened the door. The working girl, with a stunned look, said, ‘Oh no, is Tuesday tomorrow?’ The girlfriend then started questioning why some chick is coming around, but we gave this girl answers to everything. She started talking about how she’s been coming every Tuesday for months. Things start getting louder. The neighbor was at the door at this point, saying stuff like, ‘Baby, I have no idea what she’s talking about!’
Then the kill shot. The girl starts talking about dates she came over that girlfriend was out of town, nothing a random person would know. After they started yelling at each other, the girl we paid took off. There’s no way any person would admit to seeing a working girl every day for months, so he was pretty much ruined. They were yelling at each other for a good 10 minutes before they took it indoors. She moved out by Friday. Mission accomplished.”
That’ll Teach Him To Park Better
“My roommate purposely parked his car with about an inch separating his car and my driver’s side door. Rather than climb through the passenger side, I went inside, grabbed his keys and got in his car. I drove it about five blocks away, parked it and walked back to the apartment. I left the keys on the counter with a note that said, ‘I had to move your car so that I could get into mine, but I forgot where I parked it. Sorry.’
It took him four hours to find his car.”
An Entrepreneur In The Making
“In the fourth grade, on a military base in Texas, I used to ride my mother’s bicycle off the base to the local comic book store. I’d spend my entire allowance on comics. I would then spend the rest of the week selling these comics to the rest of my fourth-grade class, for double the cover price. I got to read all the comics and made a healthy profit on them as well. One day my teacher, Mr. Smith, found out about my scheme and confiscated my entire collection of comics. They weren’t disrupting class, as I sold them before and after school, and I had them in a paper sack in my desk like I did every week. I was as angry as a 10-year-old could get.
So I gathered all the money I had (ten bucks!) and went to the local commissary. I bought all the bulk penny candy I could. It ended up filling a grocery sack about half full. That’s a LOT of candy. Then the next day, I smuggled it into the school. I showed it to all the kids before the day started, and announced anyone who got yelled at, got a handful, and anybody who got sent to the principal’s office got FOUR handfuls. Chaos ensued, as I sat back and watched, angelically glaring at Mr. Smith. Once the second kid sent to the principal’s office, I got ratted out.
The principal sent for me and Mr. Smith together, and someone else took over the class. Once in the office, the principal asked me what was going on. I explained in detail, still angry, speaking in clipped terms what Mr. Smith had done, and how I would keep making his life miserable till I got my comics book back. I glared at both of them with little hands folded in defiance. When they sent me out of the room, I could hear both of them break out in uncontrollable laughter. I got my comics back.”
Calculating Revenge
“I got picked on a lot growing up. One time, this kid hocked a gigantic loogie onto my combination on my locker. I didn’t see it and I put my hand on it and got this nasty thick mucus on my hand. Fortunately, someone told me who did it.
Luckily for me, a couple days later, he’s sitting next to me during a science test. There were only 3-4 in the whole year, so they are worth a good amount. We’re allowed to use our calculators. I could see that between his calculator and calculator case, he’s got a cheat sheet with all the formulas and other info.
I still managed to finish before him despite him having all that at his fingertips. So before handing in my test, I write a note to the teacher that he’s got his cheat sheet in there. So as to not call me out as the person who told, she does a ‘random’ inspection of people’s stuff to make sure no one’s cheating. She finds his cheat sheet, and he gets a big fat 0%.”
You’ve Got Mail
“In college, my neighbor was crazy. She would call the cops on us and even made me and my roommates go to mediation over nothing. We never knew why she had an issue with us. She never ever called me and she never even hinted at any issues she had with us. So after making our lives a living nightmare, since we were dealing with the cops on a daily basis from ‘anonymous calls’ and ridiculous allegations, I decided to take some revenge and make her life a living nightmare as well.
I went to a nearby record store that had magazines. I took out all of the ‘subscription postcards’ out of EVERY magazine. There were about 270 to be exact. I went online and had labels made for my neighbor’s address. Then I got all my roommates together, and while drinking a little, we pasted on her address to all the magazine subscriptions and checked the ‘bill me later’ box.
Well, I hope you can imagine what happened next. It took her over 2 years to unsubscribe to all of the magazines, although I think she gave up. She would have to write letters to each magazine provider, and then creditor if she missed payments.
Lo and behold, she moved.”
Fiery Revenge
“I had a bit of revenge on my ex-wife. She left me for her ex-boyfriend that she had led us all to believe had died a year earlier…she had even gone to his ‘funeral’.
After she moved away, she asked me to send her some things to Missouri from here in Idaho, including her wedding dress. I sent it and everything else she asked for. All in Ziploc baggies. Ashes weigh a lot less than actual clothing and stuff. It was a grand bonfire. The best part was she was actually planning on reusing the wedding dress. I laughed like a vile demon when I lit it up. We even took pictures and enclosed them to prove what we were sending. I haven’t spoken with her since and now am super happily married to a woman that is not crazy.”
Paintball Pest
“I knew a kid who was an absolute terror. He would just be a prick for the sake of being a prick. One day my friends and I were at the park playing football. This kid ran up to us and shot us with a bunch of paintballs. Now we have paintballs, too, so if we wanted to shoot him up we could but we knew it wasn’t enough. This time this kid went too far. Since he lives near us, we know his family quite well and know that his mom is crazy controlling and mean as could be. We also knew for a fact that he did not have paintball stuff before so he must have finally convinced his mom that he would be responsible with it and she finally allowed him to buy one.
Well, we took all our paintballs and shot up every house on his block except for his. His house is within viewing distance of the park where we play football, so we all got to watch and laugh as his dad was outside slamming his new paintball equipment against the street and apologizing to the neighbors. He was crying like a baby and it was glorious. I know this sounds mean, but if you knew this kid, you would know how badly he deserved it. He broke my go-cart once.”
Payback For Good
“I had a roommate who was a member of the KKK. That was something I found out long after he moved in. He’d have parties that started at 3 am and he would complain if any black person showed up. He always had these parties, even though I had to be up for work at 6 am. I said nothing. However, he complained to our mutual friends about my ‘loud ironing’ in the morning but never to my face.
Then, after we got into a few arguments, I came home to see all his junk piled in a corner. He was moving out and not telling me, thus leaving me with the extra rent. A few months later, he asked for his share of the security deposit back. When I finally moved out, I donated his share to the NAACP in his name.”
She Made Him Uproot His Life, Then Kicked Him To The Curb
“My girlfriend of six years and I had broken up. Well, more accurately, she had broken up with me. This was four months after we moved across the country from New Jersey to Colorado. The move was at her request so she could live near her parents. I had gotten a job but other than that, I was a stranger in a strange land. I had nothing. I sold everything I had, including my car, to get us to Colorado.
When she broke up with me, she told me to move out of the apartment that we had just gotten. Her parents lived right down the street so she could’ve easily gone to live with them and she could not afford our apartment on her own. I had nowhere to go. I pleaded with her to give me the apartment. She didn’t care. Her whole mentality through the whole thing was that she was not giving an inch for any reason, even if it was for the benefit of everyone.
So one day, I go back to ‘our’ place to talk to her. I really wanted her back and I couldn’t understand why, out of the blue, she didn’t want to be with me after six years or so. I kept asking her if she was with someone else. Because, to me, that would be the nail and I would just move on. But she insisted over and over that this wasn’t the case. Sometime during this conversation, she said she was going to go to my friend’s house and have him come to pick me up. This friend had dropped me off there after I requested he do so. I was living on his couch. So, at this point, my ex went to get him to come get me.
While she was gone, for some unknown reason, I decided to check the voice mail. The first message went something like this: ‘Hi Tina, listen, you need to change your voicemail. It says ‘we’ are not home. And, well, if Alex calls and hears that, he is going to know that you have had a boyfriend the whole time you have been dating him…’
And that is how I found out. I was devastated and fuming angry at the same time. The truth was she had been lying to me and cheating on me this whole time. Worse, she dragged me across the country to do it! So, I did what any rational person would do under these circumstances.
I changed the access code to the voice mail. I then changed the outgoing message to ‘Hi! This is name. Unfortunately, I’m not at home right now because it turns out Tina has been unfaithful to me and has been sleeping with another guy. Of course, she never fessed up to it and thought it would be easier just to kick me out of my house and home with nothing more than the shirt on my back and her lies denying her infidelity in my head.’ I also said some other choice things. But, for the most part, that is the message I left.
Well, since the phone was in my name, she had a hard time getting that message off the voicemail. So, for weeks after that, anyone who called when she was not home was greeted to that message. Since she didn’t have much of a reason to call her own number and hear the message, she didn’t know I had changed it for some time and was LIVID when she found out.
I’ll admit it, I did get a small amount of satisfaction from it. She did everything she could to make the breakup as rocky as possible while I bent over backward to appease her. So, this, as small as it was, was something for me to hang my hat on.”