Finding out a huge secret about your partner usually leads to a messy breakup, but these learned the worst secret their partner was keeping and kept it to themselves. Their significant other has no idea. Secrecy can go both ways.
Here are all the craziest Reddit stories about people who found out their significant other's biggest secret. Content has been edited for clarity.
The Twisted Family Secret
“My ex-fiancé’s family was always very weird about him being with someone, and very much tried to push me out and keep him to themselves. His sister and mother were especially strange. When he was 26, his mother would crawl into bed with him in the morning. His sister, who was 5 years younger than him, was always clinging to him and sitting on his lap and stuff like that. I put up with it for several years because his parents weren’t from here and I thought maybe all that behavior is normal in that country.
Then after we got engaged and he wouldn’t move out, I did some snooping while they were all at work. I don’t particularly want to explain the evidence I found, but I found multiple things confirming a disturbing incestual situation, and that he was totally fine with participating. I told him I couldn’t take the ‘negligence and emotional turmoil’ he was subjecting me to and gave the ring back without telling him I knew. I talk to his best friend a lot because we actually knew each other as kids and are close. Not long after I left, he also figured it out. Last time I checked, it was still very obviously a thing.”
High School Bully
“My current girlfriend of 3 years was part of a group in high school that used to mercilessly bully me when I was overweight. She was never directly involved but she would make heinous suggestions on what to do with the unpopular kids they would pick on. I am 100% sure she knows who I am and I found out a year ago when I was switching out phones for our new mobile plan.
No red flags are being raised, but every time she goes out I can’t help but think she is doing some sort of long con with her group of friends on me. Yes, she is still involved with the same group of friends. I want to bring it up, but I know the response will be something similar to, ‘Hey it was a long time ago, I changed.’ I still have confidence issues and social issues accumulated from that group so that answer will be extremely unsatisfying for me. I don’t know what to do.”
He Could Hear Everything She Said
“When we were in the hospital for some weird pain that I had, uninsured, and the doctors thought it might be cancer, I lost it a bit. She was so brave for me.
But her mother called, she went into the bathroom to talk but she didn’t know that the sound echoed pretty loudly into the room. I heard her break down, sobbing, telling her mom she didn’t know how we were going to pay for treatment and that it looked really bad. I’ll never told her that I heard her, but god it was heartbreaking.
When she came out you wouldn’t even know she was even upset, she hid it so well. She sat right down and told me everything was going to be fine with such determination and such certainty. Literally took out her computer then and there and started making a spreadsheet of our finances to fit in cancer. I knew how much she loved me in that moment and how important it was for her that she was brave for me. I don’t know why but I got so calm after that, I haven’t broken down like that since, even with worse news. I guess she makes me strong… god, I love her.”
A Shocking Glove Box Discovery
“I opened the glove box of my husband’s car (he knew I was driving it) looking for some spare sunglasses and found a referral written by his doctor to a psychiatrist mentioning a suicide plan my husband had made. He is being treated for depression and I was the one who had pushed him to that doctor’s visit because I knew he wasn’t doing as well as he had been. Still, it came as a huge shock. I feel so sick and sad about it. The doctor encouraged him to share with me, but he hasn’t. I’ve tried to initiate discussions where the subject might come up. I have a history of depression and have made attempts in the past 10+ years ago. But, no, he tells me, he has never thought of doing anything like that.
We have very young children and he is very much loved by me and them.
He is doing better a few weeks later, has made some positive life changes but still, that fear and the sadness makes it hard to let him out of my sight every day.”
No One Keeps A Secret Like Grandma
“In the late 70s, my grandmother got remarried when my dad was in middle school, after divorcing my biological grandfather. Anyway, step-grandpa was a ‘cool dad’ for a while, at least up until my dad and his older brother got into college. After that, he started going off the emotional deep end as in he was angry and borderline abusive.
For a long time, both step-grandpa and grandma were in the same business. My dad and uncle both became attorneys and went to work at what was now the family company. Anyway, many years later, my dad and uncle are no longer working with step-grandpa and grandma, and my mother manages most of the company. One day, a business associate quietly pulls my mother aside and says that they saw step-grandpa in public with a much younger man. She tells my father and uncle, who do some digging around and find out he had used company funds to buy cars, apartments, etc for multiple 20-something men. He was in his early seventies. They are understandably shocked, and they all go over to my grandma’s house when step-grandpa is not there to break it to her.
Her response? ‘Oh yeah, I’ve known that for years.’
She had suspected he was gay before they were married, but nobody talked about that sort of thing at the time or in her family. She knew about the affairs. She had a public health worker come to her front door to inform her he had HIV and give her a test as well. She declined to tell anyone this for close to fifteen years. He had no idea she knew.
Anyway, they managed to convince her to divorce him, which took ages and ages. So, that’s probably the worst secret that’s ever been kept in my family.”
One Complicated Family Tree
“This one takes some backstory. My wife’s sister and my older brother have been good friends forever, way before her and I started dating. About 15 years ago, my brother and his girlfriend got pregnant with a son, who they put up for adoption and my wife’s family ended up taking him. My brother never told anyone in our family about it, made my wife’s family swear to secrecy. I found out after finding a box of paperwork and old pictures a few years ago while helping them move.
My 15-year-old brother-in-law is actually my genetic nephew, and no one knows I know. My wife has never spoken a word about it.”
Ulterior Motives
“She started dating me because my parents had a lot of money and I was following down the path to also have a lot of money.
I saw her group chat with her mom, sisters and aunt about what a good situation she’s in and how she’ll never have to work, and that even if things go south she just has to stick around until my parents aren’t around anymore.
I’m only with her until I finish school because I don’t want to be alone in this time of my life.”
Paternity Problem
Elnur/Shutterstock
“Well, I don’t know the truth for certain but I will soon and can feel it in my gut.
When we first started dating, she pulled out the L-word really quickly. I told her that I could see us going places, but to please be careful with laying on the ‘I love you’s’ too heavy because I’ve been betrayed, abused, gaslit, cheated on and thrown away by the former love of my life after seven years of supporting her through school. One more heartbreak and I am going to harm myself.
Apparently, this wasn’t acceptable and she decided to go get wasted with her trashiest friends at a frat house. She was assaulted. I offered to pay some less than scrupulous friends of mine to ‘take care’ of the offending parties, but she ‘didn’t want to hurt anybody.’
Our son was just born. She ‘forgot’ to take her birth control. He looks nothing like me, like not even close. The timeline matches perfectly. Not two weeks after he was born, she told me she’s filing for child support, yet still wants to be with me, live together and claims to love me as much as ever.
I’m currently trying to figure out how to pull off a paternity test without the mother’s consent, Also strongly considering a nice dinner of lead and gunpowder…I’m truly lost.”
Bittersweet Revenge
“That she slept with my best friend over a dozen times, instead of the one she admitted to because I cornered her with evidence. Like a jaded cop waiting on his pension, I’ll leave her when the house sells and I get my cut. I’ll be the picture perfect fantasy she thinks she deserves, and leave her in her time of need like she did to me.
Revenge is bittersweet, and unfortunately, it’ll be bitter for while. However, one of my favorite quotes: ‘One thing that separates good from evil is evil’s unending patience.’ You reap what you sow.”
His Wife’s Secret Medical History
“I’m pretty sure that my wife had an abortion when she was in high school, having gotten pregnant by her then-longtime-but-still-kinda-scummy boyfriend.
At the time, she was a stellar all-honors student and captain of three varsity sports but was inexplicably dating a tough guy from across the tracks who was continuously having run-ins with the law stemming from assault charges, getting into fights with people who ‘looked at him the wrong way,’ etc.
When we first started dating, we were only a couple of years into college. So, when we started getting more serious, we were sharing stories of the tough times in our lives, she said that during her senior year her younger sister spread a rumor that she was pregnant. In a different quiet moment, she spoke of her late mother, and how she was terrified that she had let her down but didn’t specify how. I didn’t press the matter.
Years upon years later, we’re married and expecting our first child. She told me that as part of the prenatal care she needed to know my blood type for some reason. I used to donate blood to the Red Cross during college but didn’t have a record of my blood type (and neither did my GCP, weirdly). So I ended up going to give a blood donation to see what info they had on file for me. At one point when I explained to them that I needed to know because we were expecting our first, the male technician mentioned a whole slew of technical terms finishing by saying, ‘but those would only be concerns if this wasn’t her first pregnancy, so I wouldn’t worry about it.’ My guess is that a female technician probably would’ve had more tact.
After a bit of googling, which I will clumsily summarize here, I learned that if the expecting mother is ‘sensitized’ from a prior pregnancy, and is ‘Rh negative’ while her partner is ‘Rh positive,’ then the sensitized mother’s body will make antibodies to attack the Rh negative positive fetus as if it’s an intruder that the body needs protection from.
I’ve never pressed her on this, and don’t really see much of a need to. We have two beautiful kids now, a girl and a boy, and she’s an incredible mother. If she had gone through with the pregnancy then she likely wouldn’t have gone on to graduate with honors with a double major from the University of her choice. She would’ve had a very different professional career path. She likely would not have met and married me. She made a choice that I am sure was not an easy one and I am sure that it haunted her for a long while, if not still. That child would’ve turned twenty this year, assuming everything went alright. Not sure if the father would’ve still been in the picture, given the path he was on back then, but who’s to say, as I know how much becoming a father can change a person.”
He Saw Something On The Screen She Didn’t Want Him To See
“My ex, and the cheating. She thinks I found out when I looked at her phone, but I new about two months earlier when she sent me a pic of herself watching Netflix in bed. I don’t think she realized that the dude’s face was 100% visible reflected in the laptop. After that, it was a matter of me being in denial and trying to fix things.”
An Telling Sigh Of Relief
“My husband is tired of caring for me, tired of the breakdowns my body suffers more and more.
He just wants to make me happy and for me to be healthy, but the biggest fear we have is that my time is running short. I have had lots of typically older age person illnesses and conditions since I was diagnosed with cancer nine years ago at age 32/33.
Last week, I told him that I want him to decide where he can handle living without me – here or another state because I don’t feel like I have more than 10-15 years left. I want him to be somewhere that he can be happy, perhaps find love again and take care of our girls.
The look of relief on his face was something that I have never seen before and I’ll never forget. He’s the other half of me, but I don’t want to be the reason he ages prematurely or is sad. I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t know how to live without my body breaking down or falling apart. I just want him and our beautiful kids to be happy.
So yeah, that unspoken look of relief at me and my physical issues no longer being on him.”
The In-Laws Blame Him
“My wife tells her mother it’s my fault we haven’t started trying for a child yet but really it’s her fault because she won’t stop smoking. I refuse to start trying until she does. I let it continue because I don’t really care if her parents are mad at me. Some background here: My wife is Polish and her parents don’t speak English, so we don’t speak the same language. I don’t mind the odd dirty look when babies are around. Beats them being mad at my wife.
My wife’s sister asked me about it when she was visiting but I asked her not to say anything to her parents about it.”
He Got Manipulated
“She was actually not on birth control when we met, despite promises and proof to the contrary. She used me purely to get pregnant. I later stumbled across a text exchange between her and her sister that she’d finally found the guy she wanted to give her a baby, based on looks, education, etc but did not want a relationship. She was going to lie about birth control. When it happened, I thought her conceiving just put us in the one-percent fail rate.
Now? Seven years later, we’re very happily married with a second amazing child and I don’t think there’s any reason to bring it up if she doesn’t. My biological clock was ticking loudly at the time, too.”
Her Friends Like You, So That’s Good
“My ex-girlfriend made up a person and spoke to me as them. We met when we were quite young and were both pretty weird… I put it down to insecurity and wanting to look like she had cool friends since I was a little older. I never let on that I knew because it would have been super embarrassing for her and this was literally the start of the relationship.
She made up quite a few stories about this guy and I got a few emails from ‘him.’ She didn’t realize that changing the name of the account didn’t actually change the address, which was fully visible.”
She Was Scarred By A Previous Relationship
“My ex-girlfriend had a fairly large scar on her back and was incredibly self-conscious about it. She wouldn’t even take her shirt off the first time we had relations. When I asked her about it, she said she had fallen from her horse when she was young.
Fast forward a little and I’m out finding her a birthday present and have enlisted the help of her friend. I pick out a suggestive tank top and her friend just looks out me like I’m stupid. Apparently, the scar on her back, which the singlet clearly revealed, wasn’t from a fall, but an abusive ex-boyfriend who had pushed her onto his motorbikes exhaust pipe and burnt her.
We ended on good terms and I never told her I knew. I hope she is doing well.”
Kevin Never Knew
“During a separation from my first husband, I logged into his Facebook and saw he was in a hot and heavy relationship with his old girlfriend.
We were separated because he was physically abusive and mentally ill. He held me hostage with a loaded weapon one night and I got a restraining order on him the next day. He was only held in a mental hospital for a few days and then released. I lived in fear every day for over a year.
I logged into his account because his family was feeding me lies and I needed to know what he was doing with his life because he had a chance at visitation with our son.
I found evidence of substance abuse and dangerous activities that would have made him a danger to our son, who he never saw again. What I wasn’t expecting was seeing him in a serious relationship.
I needed to see that though. It helped me to let go.
Shortly after this, he committed suicide. I was too distraught at his funeral while corralling a 2-year-old to even notice if his girlfriend was there. She publicly announced what she lost on Facebook and I was shunned by his friends and family.
He tried to kill me and I was blamed for his suicide and some people made their opinion about me known at the funeral
I don’t think Kevin ever knew I found out about his girlfriend. Maybe in the afterlife now he knows?”
Therapy Had A Negative Effect
“He has been hiding he’s autistic from me for ten years. He suffered abusive therapy and, because of it, he thinks hiding his autism is the most important thing. Except that’s like trying to hide an elephant in a bathroom. He’s not always super high functioning. So it’s always a weird charade of me pretending he’s not autistic while busting my butt to gently handle that.
I have no idea how to talk to him about it. I know he has a formal diagnosis. He was so traumatized from institutional medical abuse in the name of therapy that even mentioning it or acknowledging it can cause him to have a meltdown. He thinks if I knew, I wouldn’t love him anymore, but I’ve known for YEARS and I still love him. I like him just how he is, I just want things to be easier and less scary for him, and I don’t know how to help most of the time because he won’t admit the problem.”
She Puts On A Good Face
“Her lupus is getting much worse, much more quickly than she had expected and she has maybe ten, fifteen years left before her kidneys or lungs or heart fail. Apparently, there’s a ton of scar tissue forming already even though she was diagnosed two weeks ago. She’s gained about twenty pounds from water retention. For a slim, petite little thing, it’s almost a fifth of her weight and her legs have swollen so much that she can’t bend her knees or walk without intense pain.
The worst part is that she always smiles when I come to visit her and asks if I want to go hiking or play tennis, which are my favorite things. All I tell her is that I’m tired and I’d like to read comic books with her or put on Netflix, her favorite things, and lay in bed.”
Settled But Never Regretted
“He settled for me pretty hard. I’m the less petite, objectively less pretty friend. He crushed on my friend first. He denied it to the moon and back. A little while ago, I accidentally found some messages between him and his friend about how I was ‘catching on and pretty insecure about’ the fact that he liked my friend first. Which isn’t true! People like a lot of people. But he would never let me feel like a second choice.
Even if I was, the joke is on him because I’m a treasure. We’re happy and I don’t doubt that he loves me now. I’ve really ugly duckling’d in the past couple of years and I make him happy, so who’s the real winner?”
A Surprise That Never Could Be
“Even though we had been married for 25 years, my wife and I always invented stupid private jokes between each other. I was lamenting the fact that we had fostered a Siamese cat from an adoption group, that eventually got adopted, and I really missed her. At one point, we were looking through the website of the local pound, and a Siamese came up named ‘Montague.’
The photo that they took of Montague was epic. A classic Applehead Siamese, he was neutered, about five years old, and had horribly crossed eyes. Whoever took the photograph of him made him look both proud, distinguished, and adorably insane. He looked like some crazy dude that comes into the bar as a regular and claims he’s the emperor of the United States of America, and everybody buys him a round because even though he is clearly crazy, he is also very charming. We started making up all the stories about Montague in a spoof of ‘the world’s most interesting man.’ Week after week, we checked to see if he had been adopted, but nobody wanted a crazy looking cross-eyed Siamese cat. Everyone at the pound said he was affectionate and had been there for quite some time.
Sadly, this would be our last private joke together. My wife, who had a terminal illness, suddenly gotten much worse and passed away rather rapidly. We thought we had more time together, but she had sarcoidosis and her lungs had already been weakened by repeated pneumonia when she got the flu. Because she was on immunosuppressants for her condition, this is what did her in, she went into a coma and died a week later.
My sister helped me with the funeral and taking care of a lot of things, including contacting everyone in her phone contacts on her cell phone. She asked me about why the Alexandria pound would be trying to contact my late wife via voicemail. Apparently, my wife had applied to adopt Montague as a surprise gift. She paid the adoption fee and had scheduled a visit to adopt him. But she died before the appointment date.
Sadly, my wife put it in her name only, and the people at the pound were pretty rude about it. Like to adopt Montague I’d have to pay ANOTHER adoption fee, and they were mad that she didn’t show up, and at the time it was chaos I couldn’t deal with. My sister gave them an earful and they told her to kick rocks.
That ended that.
I hope Montague eventually found a loving family.”