Breakups are literally the worst, no one likes them, but they're a necessary evil sometimes. When this happens one side of the breakup normally feels anger towards the other; and when that anger overwhelms that person they do terrible things like these.
The Bogus Restraining Order
“My ex filed a bogus Restraining Order not allowing me to see me my son who I was taking care of while she was at work. She filed that I was going to kill her and then take him overseas. The Court accepted the Order. Six months later, she calls saying, you need to start watching the baby again. I start watching my son again and then I ask her if my son could spend at least one night a week with me. I was retired from the police force due to an on the job injury and so I had the benefit of spending time with my son. She flat out refused. Long story short, after all the false allegations she stated about me, false kidnapping reports having the police knock down my door and my son and I in shock, years of court proceedings and even though the courts and state social worker found her to a scorned woman and a rampant liar, they awarded her full custody. It’s been 5 years, 6 months, 7 days, 16 hours, 4 minutes and counting since I last saw or spoke with him. I cannot see my son, which I still pay $400 a month in child support, and he only lives 10 minutes away from me” (Source).
The Bank of America Ripoff
“My ex girlfriend and I shared a bank account after living together for 2 years….I know the groundwork for a happy ending…Well she was saying she had a job when she didn’t and was lying about money while I was working everyday. So I broke it off with her and moved out then went to the bank to close our account. I was told both parties had to be there to close the account, but she wasn’t coming around for a while. So I just took my name off the account and opened my own new one. Bank of America wouldn’t screw me right? Fast forward 3 months later, and I had a few grand saved up and doing well. She wanted to get back with me, even though she now had a boyfriend. I had no interest anymore. Well I go out to get some Gatorade before Ultimate Frisbee and none of my cards are working. I call BoA and they tell me that there is fraudulent activity. Yep my ex had written $40,000 in fraudulent checks from our old account. The bank saw that I used to be on that account and drained it completely to cover the $40k. I am not a guy that has credit cards so this was my only source of money, period. I was flat broke and it sucked. I took her to court but she doesn’t work so I hope one day to get a few dollars of that back. My Ex wrote $40k in fraudulent checks from an account we used to have together and the bank took all my money too” (Source).
The Impressive Penis
“Me and the lady split a few months ago, out of nowhere I get a random text from her, which happens to be a picture of her hand grasping a penis of impressive stature. She began to explain how thankful she was I broke up with her so she could find a such a penis. I wanted to be mad, but couldn’t, just kind of stared at the picture for a while thinking ‘Good for her'” (Source).
You Set “Your” GBA on Fire
“My ex set everything I had left at her house on fire. She bragged about it over the phone later. ‘Even your GBA!’ Wait, my GBA? ‘Yesss!’ B–ch, my GBA is sitting right next to me. You set ‘your’ GBA on fire” (Source).
Used for My Sperm
“Around eight years ago, While still dating her she tricked me into getting her pregnant (sabotaged the birth control) and as soon as she got pregnant cut all contact. I tried to remain civil with her, and I have been up to this day but she quite clearly told me the only reason she started dating me in the first place is because she wanted a child, and I had never factored into her plans. When my daughter was born she didn’t put me on the birth certificate and out the father as ‘Unknown’. Took her to court multiple times but she denied paternity was mine and the courts could not force a DNA test. She eventually moved and completely disappeared off the radar. I have an eight year old daughter out there somewhere who I have only ever seen once 🙁 I think about her every day” (Source).
No, B–ch. That’s Not Funny at All
“I had an ex spread the rumor around my small hometown that I had physically abused her through our relationship. I couldn’t figure it out at first, but all of my (platonic) girlfriends suddenly started hating and avoiding me when I would visit. When I called her out on it at a party, she just started laughing and said ‘O ya, I was just mad at you and told people that. Isn’t that funny?’ All I could do was shake my head and say, ‘No, b–ch. That’s not funny at all!’ I still have to correct people to this day (2.5 years later)” (Source).
His Final F–k You
“I’m late to the party, so this will get buried, but here it the worst one I have witnessed. I started dating a girl just out of high school. Her ex-boyfriend was abusive. When he found out that we were dating, he tried to befriend me. I was unaware of his abusive habits until he tried to beat my a– one day. That didn’t work out too well on his end, so the next attack was to call the cops and my parents and report that I was selling weed. That didn’t work out either, and no drugs were found. (He found out i smoked pot in the week we were ‘friends’.) His final f–k you, was putting her little brother in the car with him and driving off a bridge. He killed both himself and her little brother. We find out later that he had been ‘befriending’ her brother too, so there was no real suspicion when they got into the car together” (Source).
She Lied Like a Politician
“My first serious live-in girlfriend, cheated on me with several of her past partners. I could never catch her doing it, but for a variety of reasons I knew. I was nuts about her though, and she lied like a politician. Finally, my best friends older brother nailed her, on purpose, to prove it (uh, yeah thanks for that, I guess). I packed up my sh-t and left, peacefully. But, I had forgotten to grab my art portfolio from behind the couch. I called her that afternoon and said I would be right down to get it. As I pulled into the driveway she dropped the lit match onto the gasoline soaked pile of my entire life’s collection of artwork. Never did another piece of artwork again. F–k. That. C–t” (Source).
Don’t Look Inside the Bag
“My sister found a wet shopping bag on her doorstep containing her drowned cat” (Source).
Its Not That Small, Its Okay
“My ex wrote a poem about my d–k being small, it was like 10 verses long, and it was actually very good! She sent it to all my friends, but not me. I found out 5 years later she did this, my friend showed me it (she had sent it via MSN/email to everyone) and I was like ‘DAMN! She owned me…’ luckily though, I had sex with her sister a year prior to discovering this poem, (not to spite her or anything, her sister just really likes me) so i guess we are even? I don’t know… And anyway, its not that small, its okay” (Source).
I’m Forever Alone
“Three years after I broke up with my ex, she found out who my new girlfriend is, somehow got her phone number, bought a disposable phone and texted the new girlfriend that I was cheating on her, used a different name and using her previous knowledge of a birthmark location and what I like to do in bed to effectively throw new girlfriend into rage and she didn’t believe me due to the contents of the message. Forever alone” (Source).
She’s Now in Jail
“I’ll post mine as well, but OP wins. I dated a hot/crazy girl in high school. I thought that I would be super cool and take her out to my parents lake house. After we broken up a couple of weeks later. She and boyfriend (whom she dated before, during, and after we were dating) rented a U-haul van and cleaned out the house of all of the furniture. She even stole my 8 year old little sister’s bunk bed. The only thing left was the fridge because they couldn’t get it through the door. Dad found the house trashed and was pissed. We didn’t find this out until a couple of years later when her boyfriend f–ked up and got caught. He admitted to stealing our stuff since the cops were able to match the serial numbers on the washer and dryer. I knew something was up when she called me up around thanksgiving before we got the news about her boyfriend that she really loved me and really missed me. Stupid me thought this girl was coming around and we would get back and life would be great. Two weeks later I was giving my report to a detective and she is now currently in jail. In hindsight, insurance paid us for all of the stuff stolen which was worth more than the current condition the stuff was in. The cops said all of our stuff was f–ked up beyond repair. FYI, she is currently in jail. And I am now married to the most beautiful woman in the world and she is my best friend with a baby on the way” (Source).
Happy Father’s Day…Not
“Called to wish me happy fathers day because she had gotten pregnant during our last encounter. Waited for the realization to sink in, emotions to go crazy and then said ‘I had an abortion though so I don’t need anything from you’. I remembered another one. I also had an ex that I was still in love with after we broke up. We continued seeing each other for years after this. One time she came over to my house drunk after a party and during the course of the night she pulled her panties out of her purse and said oh my god, I cant believe I forgot to put these back on after going to ‘insert random guys name’ and just laughed it off and got into bed with me. She would continually do sh-t like this out of spite and I would put up with it because I was a f–king head over heels for her. Glad I finally got out of that one” (Source).
A Brother’s Keeper
“During my second deployment to Afghanistan, I deployed with a friend of mine who I now consider to be a brother. when we first started our tour his wife told him she would write weekly. Me and all the other soldiers eventually found out this was a big fat f–king lie. now this brother of mine goes months without hearing from his wife. the longer he doesn’t hear from her, the sadder he gets. his morale dropped so low that my first sergeant (pretty high rank) was suggesting putting him on suicide watch. so about 9 months in our deployment he finally gets a letter from her. after mail call was over and we were dismissed. me, him and 3 of our buds ran to our tent as fast as we could to see him open the letter. after seeing how excited he was, the most horrendous and f–ked up thing happened. he ripped the envelope open and inside was divorce papers. I am very much against violence used on women, but to this day I wanna kill that b–ch with my bare hands. So….. About 2 weeks later he tried hanging himself in our units motorpool. thankfully my commander was working late that day and managed pull him down. the only way they wouldn’t medically discharge him from the army is if he lived with one of us. He was already a brother to me so I was more than happy to make room for him in my house. So long story short. he’s still living with me, his now ex-wife is a backstabbing c–t, and we both still look out for each other” (Source).
It’s a Nice Chair
“Not to me but my mother-in-law. She was married for a couple months and got pregnant. Her husband told her to get an abortion. Being in a small town she had to drive several hours to the nearest clinic, she waits outside for an hour or two and can’t go through with it. So she calls him to tell him she can’t do it. He hangs up on her. After a long drive home she comes home to an empty home, everything including the ice trays in the fridge are gone. Only things left are a rocking chair and some of her clothes (he took some of them). He never shows back up. Add-on: She had the baby girl. She grew up, I married her. We got the chair for our kids… it is a nice chair” (Source).
Never Say “Bye-Bye”
“When my ex and I were going through a divorce, he decided to share with me that a year and a half prior, he had in fact took my dog (she was 14, had her since she was 6 weeks old) with him to work, dropping her off in the middle of nowhere on the way. She was afraid of him, but he lured her into his truck with the words that every dog loves, ‘bye-bye’. He even left the gate open to make it look like she got out on her own. I searched for that damn dog for months. He sat back and watched me cry, put up posters, go to every animal shelter around us. I hate that f–ker… not only for that reason. He also is a religious weirdo” (Source).
I Spent the Money on a Trip to Paris
“Nothing out of the ordinary. I came home one evening and found a note that she didn’t love me anymore, had moved in with her parents and would appreciate it if I could be gone during the upcoming weekend so she could collect her stuff. Stunned and stupid as I was I complied, came back home Sunday evening to find the place completely empty. She took everything, except one thing: a 22 volume Brittanica she bought the month before, despite my protests, and had only payed the first installment for. When I asked for explanation she told me that since I had a job and salary and she was a student I would be simply able to replace all the furniture and pay off the Encyclopedia. The first thing I did, the books (bought in her name) I sold and I spent the money on a trip to Paris. B–ch” (Source).
Slapped With the Rehab Debt
“My ex is a physician and an addict, so she can manipulate with the best of them. When we decided to split, it was quite clear who was in the wrong, and we agreed that the debt she had accumulated through her multiple tours in rehab (well north of $100K) would stay with her. We didn’t have any children, or any joint property to cause any fits over, so the divorce seemed pretty straight forward.
She got a lawyer to help push it through, and I was going to try to not get one of my own to save costs (obvious mistake). I was supposed to go to her attorney’s office to sign some paperwork, but was having trouble reaching someone at the office to make a time to stop by. Her lawyer emailed her that day saying that he hadn’t heard from me yet, and she forwarded this email to me, without realizing that she was forwarding me the entire email chain that she had with her counsel. Oops! In the email, she very clearly stated that she wanted to slap me with the rehab debt, stating that I was ‘complicit in her drug use’ (totally false)! Needless to say, I went pretty crazy, and immediately hired the most cutthroat lawyer I could find in the area. My lawyer was awesome (and cheap), and he routinely put her in her proper place” (Source).
And She’s on Husband #4
“I got f–ked by both, my ex, and my $5,000 divorce lawyer. We got an agreement that she did not want anything from me, except $1000/mo in child support (that’s after i came home from work couple of month earlier to find nothing but an old chair in my house. she had movers come and take everything while i was at work). I said OK, and we left it at that, waiting for the court date where her lawyer was supposed to bring our agreement to the judge. Anyway, I show up in court with my lawyer, we go in front of the judge, and her lawyer goes: ‘We want child support, alimony, we want the husband to pay the remainder of the car loan (3 years) on wife’s car and then transfer the car to the wife’s name and we also want the husband to pay for my services, because he was the one who filed for divorce, which forced the wife to borrow $5,000 from her parents to pay for my services’ Judge goes: ‘Sounds good. We are done.’ Meanwhile my lawyer did not open his mouth or looked up from whatever the f–k he was reading during the entire court session. And this f–k had audacity to mail me a card later, congratulating me on the positive outcome of my divorce case. So for the next year I paid 75% of what I made (automatically taken out of my paycheck after tax), leaving me with nothing. Sold my car, moved out of my apartment and couch surfed for a while. The day the ex received her last alimony check (we were only married for 2 years, so i paid alimony for a half of that) she married by ex-best friend, which was why I filed for divorce in the first place. Took me 5 more years to pay off her car and her lawyer, so now I only have 7 years of child support left, even though the kid spends 5 days a week with me. Aaaand she is currently on husband #4” (Source).
She Gave Me Genital Warts
“She gave me genital warts after she cheated on me with ‘just a friend'” (Source).