Dating is always an adventure, but sometimes adventures don't always go as planned. Some dates go horribly, horribly wrong. Luckily, these bad dates make for great stories, despite being awful at the time. These daters shared the absolute weirdest dates they've ever been on. Content has been edited for clarity.
She Wanted A Lot More Than Dinner
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“I went for a meal with this girl I met through a dating app and it was going really well. We started talking about movies and then we decided to go to the cinema to go watch ‘Inception.’ She said there was a cinema nearby but I didn’t know the area at all, so I used the GPS on my phone and she held it and directed me. Once we got there, we started walking inside and I realized I didn’t have my phone in my pocket.
I said I must have left it in the car and started to walk back to get it. She was trying to get me to leave it and saying we would miss the film, but the phone was only about a week old so I was really paranoid about it. We checked the car for about 10 minutes but we couldn’t find it. I asked her to check her jacket and her bag but she said it wasn’t there. A couple parked next to us so I asked them to ring my number because I couldn’t find it. It started to ring and it was obviously coming from my date’s handbag. She took it out and said she must have missed it.
I thanked the couple and locked my car and as I turned back around, she was walking the other way. I ran to catch up and asked what was going on but she was very dismissive and was barely talking. That’s when I realized it wasn’t an accident and just left her to walk home alone.”
He Wanted Way More Than He Deserved From Her
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“Tinder matched me with a guy who was half an hour late for the date. The first thing he said to me was, ‘You’re too tall, you’re taller than me.’ I’m 5’5” and I was wearing flats. Nowhere on his profile was his height listed, he’d never mentioned anything about it. He said he’d buy me a drink for being late, so I figured I’d at least get a drink out of it.
We chatted for a bit about our jobs and school and whatever. I checked the time and realized I had to catch my bus back home – I lived in the suburbs with my parents at this point. He said, ‘Okay, I’m coming with you.’
‘Uh, no.’
‘Well, I guess you can come back to my place. My roommate is there, though.’
‘I’m not coming home with you, I made that clear long before we even met up.’
‘I bought you a drink! You owe me!’
‘What!? I owe you nothing.’
He put on this super angry face and starts ‘negging’ me, which is when a guy insults a girl he’s into as a way of turning her on and getting in her pants. ‘You’re not even that hot.’
‘I am not going to sleep with you. I’m going home.’
He just stalked off in the opposite direction. I got a message on Tinder later:
‘This isn’t going to work out.’
Obviously.”
He Thought This Was The Moment That He’d Die
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“I met this girl online and the conversations were always friendly, getting to know you type banter. After a few online conversations, we met up at a bar by her. The plans for the evening were to have drinks there then go play Donkey Kong Country at her place. Being the oblivious male I was, I genuinely was excited to play some DKC on Super Nintendo.
We met up at the bar and things go fine. I wasn’t really attracted to her at all, but she was nice and we had an alright time at the bar. So we got back to her place and started watching TV. I looked around and didn’t see a Super Nintendo. I thought maybe it was in her bedroom. I didn’t mention it because I didn’t want to be rude. She made some drinks. We were watching some show on Netflix when all of a sudden she looks at me with murder in her eyes, ‘Are we going to stop playing games?!’
I looked at her, smiling, trying to play it off, ‘Do you mean Donkey Kong Country?’ She really didn’t appreciate that. She scoffed and then proceeded to chide me about how guys are always wanting to play games. I told her the only game I was wanting to play was DKC. This was when it got weird. She got up off the couch calmly, and walked to the kitchen and pulled a butcher knife out of somewhere. She just stood in the kitchen, still with the look of murder in her eyes, and stared me down. She didn’t move at all, just stared at me with the butcher knife at her side. I looked back for what felt like a few minutes, and then I jumped up and dashed for the front door.
I didn’t even bother closing the door. Behind me, I heard the door slam hard, and she was shouting at the top of her lungs, ‘GET OUT OF HERE, PLAYING GAMES, I HATE YOU!’.
So a night of what I was hoping to be relaxing, friendly conversation, and Donkey Kong Country, turned into my ‘Maybe I could have been murdered,’ dating story.”
He Never Would Have Guessed Where Their First Date Would Take Them
“I started talking to a girl I came across on a dating site. We made plans to meet about one week after we began talking. I ended up canceling the plans a few hours before we were supposed to meet as I had something come up. I told her I was available the following day as we did not live in the same city. A few hours later, she responded and asked me if I wanted to take a road trip to another city a few hours west from where I’m located. She just wanted a copilot to keep her company. I agreed, partially because I felt bad for changing plans at the last minute the previous day.
I was skeptical, I’d never just taken a random road trip with some girl that I hadn’t met before. She picked me up in the morning. Not too awkward at first, easy conversation for the most part. Within 10 minutes of being on the road, she needed to use the restroom but couldn’t wait for the next gas station. She abruptly pulled over on side of the highway and did her business. ‘Ok,’ I thought, ‘Whatever. You gotta go, you gotta go…right?’ The place we were traveling to was about 200km from where I lived. Let’s just say we had to make another five stops (two more on the highway and three gas stations) before we arrived at our destination. Yes, I started to count after the third stop. I definitely thought this girl had some kind of STD or issues. That’s a lot of breaks in such a short amount of time.
Then I was told she needed to pick a few things up in the city. It wasn’t just things, it was her 74-year-old Grandmother! Whom I would shortly be meeting for lunch, along with a few other members of her family. I said to her, ‘You’re kidding, right?’ Well, she wasn’t. At this point, I did not have much of a choice considering she was my ride back home…
Long story short, it was as awkward as it could have possibly been. Her aunt, a cousin, and some family friend with her grandma were all there. It was like a freaking family reunion. I felt like I was in some kind of dark comedy show and I had to improvise. We made it back home after four more pee breaks and having to pretend/lie to her grandmother about actually knowing anything about this girl. Yeah, I didn’t talk to her again.”
She Refused To Say Where She Got The Bear
“It was 2001, so I was doing the whole VHS & chill at this girl’s dorm room.
It was my first time over there and there was this giant bear on the bed. Like, got the softball in the milk jug at the carnival first try-tier bear. It occupied 50% of the surface area.
I said, ‘Whoa, how’d you score that bear?’
Her: ‘I don’t know…’
Me: ‘What…?’
Her: ‘I don’t know.’
A few minutes go by.
Me: ‘You don’t know?’
Her: ‘Yeah.’
Me: ‘Ok, look. It’s ok if it’s from an ex. I don’t care if you stole it. I’ll believe almost anything you tell me at this point. But there is no way you’re going to tell me you don’t know where that giant bear is from. I had a stuffed dinosaur 1/4 that size that I got when I was 6 and I could tell you every detail about how I got it.’
Her: ‘Well good for you. But I don’t know how I got it. Are you going to be able to let this go?’
Me: (looks at the bear, bear stares back, eyes full of secrets) ‘I don’t think I can’ (walks out).”
When He Got Back The Next Morning, The Sheriff Was Waiting For Him
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“Years ago, I met a girl online and after we’d approved of each other’s photos and list of interests, we talked on the phone and hit it off right away. She lived about an hour away and she said she wanted to go to a local national park and go hiking and have a picnic. I got to her house to pick her up and saw that she had packed a tent, sleeping bags, a cooler, and basically a full weekend worth of camping equipment. I told her I thought we were just going hiking and she said, ‘I figured we could just camp out overnight. Just get me back home in time for church in the morning.’
So we headed out, set up the tent, went for a hike, swam in the lake, had dinner in the lodge, then headed back to the campsite, where we made a fire and settled in for the night. Later, in the tent, ‘stuff’ started happening. After a while, she said, ‘Can we wait a bit on that and just go to sleep?’ I obliged and we slept.
In the early morning hours, she woke me up by making it very clear the wait was over. After we finished, she started crying. She apologized and said she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. I told her I understood but I was pretty confused by this point. We packed up everything and I drove her home and dropped her off at her house.
About 15 minutes later, I got a call on my cell phone. It was my dad. He asked, ‘What are you doing?!’ I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. He said, ‘The Sheriff’s department just came by here looking for you and asking if I knew your whereabouts. You’re wanted in the disappearance of some girl. Her family said she never came home last night. They went to your place first but nobody was there.’
Apparently, she wasn’t home for church and her family freaked out. I called her and told her to please contact the Sheriff and let them know she was not, in fact, kidnapped. She laughed and then called them.
We never had a second date.”
He Should Have Known She Was Trashy When She Brought Her Boyfriend Along
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“I’m a dude. I was about 16 at the time. My female cousin tried to hook me up with her ‘nice friend’ whom I had shown interest in after meeting her at a family gathering. We texted and talked on the phone for a couple weeks. Later, we agreed to meet at the mall.
We got to the mall and the girl showed up with another guy, who was her boyfriend. Yes, she introduced him as such and all that. Apparently, he was her ride to the mall. My cousin didn’t think this was odd. I was highly annoyed the whole time because the girl was really fine. We walked around the mall, the girl, my cousin, and myself. The boyfriend waited in the car. The girl tried to get me to buy her stuff in the mall, so I lied and said, ‘Oh, I don’t have it like that right now.’ She tried to hold my hand and asked me to get her something at the food court, the latter I gave in and did.
I told my cousin I was ready to leave. And the girl went, ‘You’re cute. And sweet. You should totally be my guy.’
I was dumbfounded, ‘Don’t you already have a boyfriend?’
‘I could have two! Besides, he’s just my brother. I don’t have to commit to him.’ My jaw dropped and I just told her no thank you, and left quickly. My cousin asked what’s wrong, STILL no seeing the problem with her friend’s relationship status. I’m still weirded out by that to this day.”
He Definitely Should Have Asked Her More Questions
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“It was my first time meeting a date from Tinder. I’d talked to her on the phone and felt she was pretty upfront but real. Also, on Tinder, it said she was 20, which I never questioned. Apparently, she’d had a rough childhood and had moved a few states away and was staying at an apartment with her mom for now. I’m forgiving and that all seemed reasonable, just a girl down on her luck. I knew where she was and happened to be around that area of town on that day, so I texted her to see if she was busy. She wasn’t doing anything and invited me right over. I arrived and went to the door. She came out barefoot and asked if I wanted to walk around the neighborhood.
It was winter and we were now walking around an apartment complex with her barefoot. Just across the street was a grocery store and she wanted to run in for jelly beans. I didn’t ask many questions so in we went, her still not wearing shoes or socks, for the jelly beans. This grocery store has candy you can purchase by the pound. So she went to the jelly bean dispenser and got a few handfuls then shoved them in her pocket. I was making enough money at the time to not wind up on a security tape with this girl stealing candy so I insisted she let me buy her some. She said something like, ‘No, I’m going to give you a story to tell your friends later.’ She also had some money on her and wanted a jar of pickles. So after the pickles were purchased we went back to her place. I was out of my comfort zone but still pretty excited.
We went around to the back of her apartment which was her room. For the first time, I’m starting to really question things. I don’t know where the alarm went off – it could have been the corner by the door with the pump-action uncased and just out. It could have been the blow-up chair. It could have been the filthy glass pipe beside her bed that she was comfortable with. It could have been her cursing at her mom when we walked in. It could have been the poor puppy in another corner stuck in a small crate with a blanket over the top taking away most of the room’s view. What I lit upon were the school books and bookbag in the corner. I said, ‘Oh, you go to [local community college]? I went there a few years ago.’
She said, ‘No, I go to [school name].’
I thought about it for a moment before a lightbulb flickered on. OH NO! I said, ‘Like [school name], the high school?!’
Her: ‘Yes’
Me: ‘How old are you?’
Her: ’16, but it’s legal in this state, so what’s it matter?’
Me: ‘Nope, nope, nope. Have a good night!'”
What He Saw When He Turned On The Lights Scarred Him
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“I had gone home with a guy I had been seeing and when we got there, we saw his roommate curled up in a ball on the couch looking pretty shaken. We asked him what was wrong and it took him a while to get it out, but he finally told us what happened:
He took a girl home from the bar after drinking all night and they started tearing each other’s clothes off as soon as they got through his bedroom door. She said she was self-conscious, though, so she wanted the lights off. He switched them off and they started fooling around. She started going down on him when all of a sudden, the guy noticed this horrible smell. He mentioned it but she told him to just ignore it, he’s probably imagining things. Finally, the smell was too much so he switches the lights on. That’s when he saw it.
Poop. Literal poop all over her and all over the bed. He was completely dumbfounded, didn’t know what to say or do, so apparently, all he yelled was ‘POOP!’ She grabbed all her clothes and ran out of the apartment crying without saying a word and, presumably, still covered in poop.
He threw his bedding out, took an hour-long shower, and refused to go back into his room. Pretty much killed our night too. To this day, I still wonder what on earth happened- was she into it and was hoping he would be too? Was it an accident and she decided to just go with it? I don’t know which scenario is more horrifying, to be honest.”
He Moved Much Too Fast For Her
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“A guy I’d met a few times contacted me asked me on a date. I had never been asked on a date before and accepted, despite thinking him a little strange and having heard some odd things about his family.
He picked me up and everything seemed good. We decided to grab a pizza and eat it in a park. When we went to purchase the pizza, it turned out he worked there and had all his co-workers come out to gawk at me. (This guy wasn’t very popular with the ladies and seemed to be proving he had a date). I’m bad in social situations and got super uncomfortable, but didn’t know how to bail so we went to the park.
It was very awkward and I wanted to go home by the end of it. We mostly just sat in awkward silence and tried not to hear each other chewing. I thought I was going home, but he decided he wanted to stop at his house. I only agreed because I honestly did not know how to disagree (First dating experience). His home turned out to be with his parents. (We were both 18-20). This wouldn’t have been so bad had they not had all ten of his siblings (I don’t remember exactly how many siblings he had) and his parents come home and want to meet me.
They weren’t just a big, nice family; they were very religious and looked like they belonged to a cult. They all had long hair, homemade clothing, and they were home-schooled. The mom said hello, then the dad came in and nobody was allowed to say a word while he questioned me on what me and his son had done on our date and when the family would be seeing me again. It was terrifying. My date showed me his pet turtles, which were really cute, and finally drove me home.
He tried to kiss me after making it clear he thought we were in a relationship after one date. At this point, I almost ran from the car. I messaged him later on explaining that I was only looking for friends at this point in time.”
His Friend Would Turn Out To Be The Worst At Setting Up Blind Dates
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“My freshman year in college, I had a crush on a girl from my high school. When I asked her out, she informed me that she only dated women (I am male). She insisted that we were still friends, she just didn’t roll that way. She offered to be my wingman and I gladly took her up on the offer.
A few weeks later, she had set me up on a semi-blind date with one of her friends (we’ll call her Monica). The three of us met at Arby’s (because we were fancy) and my friend tried playing matchmaker.
‘[My Name] loves theatre and so do you, Monica!’
‘Monica loves music and so do you, [My Name]!’
The date was going fine, so my friend decided to leave Monica and me alone. We talked a bit more and decided to go see a movie. I didn’t have a car at the time so I hopped in Monica’s passenger seat and we went on our way.
That’s when it got weird.
About two minutes after leaving Arby’s, Monica received a phone call. She said it was her roommate and she needed to answer it. She picked up the phone and I heard a man’s voice. I was a bit surprised, but it’s not too unusual for a girl to have a guy for a roommate.
Monica and her ‘roommate’ got into some kind of argument and she pulled over to a gas station. Another car pulled in right beside us. Again, I didn’t think anything of it at the time.
Monica turned to me and said ‘I need to go talk to my roommate. Just wait here for a minute.’ I assumed she just wanted to be on the phone in private, but what happened next will shock you! Monica got out of the car and went to talk to the driver of the car that pulled in next to us.
This is where I started to freak out. What are the odds that her roommate happened to pull up right beside us?! I heard a bit of yelling and then I started thinking about an escape plan.
At this point, Monica opened my car door and said, ‘Hey, I’m really sorry to do this but my roommate is going to have to take you home.’
Now, this is the part of the movie where someone in the audience screams, ‘Don’t you go with him, now! That’s how you get killed! White people always going with the strange man thinking everything will just be a-okay!’ I wish I could say I got smart, said, ‘No thank you, I’ll just walk,’ and went home.
But I didn’t.
With some combination of confusion and curiosity, I got out of Monica’s car and headed into the passenger seat with this stranger. We were in my hometown, so I knew if he went any direction he’s not supposed to, I could just bail out of the car and run to freedom.
The guy was pretty big. I was 6’2″ at the time and he was significantly bigger than me, if that tells you anything. I don’t remember his name, but we’ll just call him Ross. Anyway, Ross started driving back to my dorm and we’re sitting in awkward silence for most of the trip.
Eventually, he said, ‘So how do you know Monica?’
I knew something fishy was happening, so I wasn’t about to say we were on a date. I just said, ‘Oh, we have a mutual friend!’ and hoped Ross didn’t get suspicious. He just nodded his head and kept driving.
Apparently, Ross was resolving some anger in his head, because out of nowhere he started talking as if we were in the middle of a much more personal conversation, ‘Yeah… A lot of people at our church are upset that Monica and I live together. I think they’re just assuming we’re sleeping together all the time or something. It shouldn’t even matter since we’re engaged, but it’s still annoying to hear stuff like that, you know?’
I just nodded my head as I realized what just happened. Apparently, my lesbian friend set me up on a blind date with an engaged girl, and her fiancé came and picked me up to take me home.
I was silent the rest of the night. I told Ross the wrong dorm so he wouldn’t know where I lived, and I got out of the car and just walked around campus for a bit. It was definitely the strangest date I’ve ever been on.”
Her Date Would Turn Out To Be A Classic Gent
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“We met on Tinder, hadn’t talked for too long but I thought, whatever I need to get out more. Blah blah. The first thing he said was, ‘Oh wow, you’re so pretty!’ and tried to kiss me on the mouth. I sort of dodged and gave him my cheek to kiss and ignored it to avoid him getting embarrassed. He was not embarrassed.
Two drinks in, we were talking a bit awkwardly, and he was clearly buying me double G&Ts instead of the singles I was asking for (I was a bartender at the time, I can taste the difference). When I was mid-sentence, he grabbed my face and said, ‘Sorry, I just need to get this out of the way,’ and forcefully stick his tongue down my throat. I didn’t really know what to do because I didn’t want to cause a scene and he was about a foot taller than me.
I said I needed to look up the time for the last train and he said, ‘No, it’s fine you can stay at mine!’ I said thanks, but I’ll look up the last train. He begged, saying he’ll sleep on the couch, he just wanted to get to know me better. Still said no. He huffed, very briefly, and then cheered up and told me he’d look up the train time for me ‘like a gentleman.’
He said it’d arrive at 1 am. I said, ‘That’s late, are you sure?’
He got all tense and said, ‘What? Don’t you believe me!?’ so I smiled and said of course not and then a few minutes later, I excused myself to the toilet and checked the times on my phone, which said the last train was actually at 12 am. Lovely.
I went back to my seat, he asked if I wanted to wait at his flat for the last train (!?) and I said no, I’m getting an Uber now, bye. He tried to beg me to stay, loudly and embarrassingly, so others could hear (hopefully I’d get so embarrassed I’d go home with him I guess?) and even pretended it was his birthday and yelled to the bar that he was protecting me by taking me home because, ‘Taxi drivers can take advantage of me.’
I told him quietly that if he wanted to leave this place on his own two feet, he should back off and that I was going home, and he loudly asked for a hug and tried to grab my chest.
0/10.”