People Describe Their Most Satisfying Instant Karma Stories

They say karma's a B that will get you when you least expect it, but for these people, it struck at just the most satisfyingly perfect time.

Patience Is A Virtue For A Reason

“I was stopped at a red light waiting to turn right. I couldn’t see if there was any traffic coming because of how the intersection was set up and the bus in the left turn lane so I was just waiting for a green. The person behind me clearly wanted me to turn because she was honking, yelling and giving me the finger. After a couple seconds, she decided to drive around me and was immediately T-boned.”

| Text Source

Should Have Listened

“I tried to explain to my company how they were breaking the law with one of their procedures. They didn’t listen, said somebody up the line would have caught it. Later, illegally fired me whilst I was on FMLA leave. I was, statistically at least, their best employee at my position out of 500 people. They got fined 250K for the violation I brought up several times. I’m still unemployed but I go hiking all day and love my life. Have enough saved up to last me until I do find work. Screw em.”

| Text Source

So Much For That Vacation

“I’ve worked at the same company for over 6 years. I was a loyal, good employee with a perfect track-record. Over the 6 years, I’ve only called in sick twice. I had the best results, the least amount of errors on paperwork in the whole region and quite possibly the whole country. My new boss decided that that wasn’t enough. He minimized my hours (they get a bonus to keep labor low), expanded my workload and never had anything nice to say. He seemed to think ruling with an iron fist is the way to go about this. Even after all this, I’m the one who kept his head above water, fixing his errors along the way.

So finally I resign my position with immediate effect, which in terms canceled his vacation plans for the next week. On top of that, there was no one to fill my position. As soon as I mouthed the words ‘I quit’ you could see the terror in his eyes. He realized how screwed he was without me and tried to do whatever he could to keep me for at least another week. I’ve never felt such a sense of instant karma as today. I never meant to cancel his vacation, but I wasn’t going to put his needs before mine. I have bills to pay. I’d feel bad about it if he wasn’t such a jerk – but he’s a jerk.

| Text Source

Karma Came Out Of Nowhere During This Domestic Dispute

“When I was a teenager, I was with a bunch of my friends and we stopped for gas at a place on a busy intersection. One of my friends points out some action happening in a car parked next to the street and says, ‘He’s beating the crap out of her!’
Sure enough, some jerk is bouncing his girlfriend’s head off the dashboard. Now we were no innocent teenagers, and this van was our mailbox-baseball-mobile. We grabbed our bats and prepared to intervene, but just as we were getting out, the girl grabs the keys out of the guy’s ignition and throws them into the street.
I can see the rest in slow motion, clear as day, even though it happened more than 20 years ago. The guy races out of the car in a huff, runs into the street and bends to pick up his keys. He gets back up, points at the car, and starts to yell something, his face red with rage. Just then a little sports sedan turns the corner at speed and hits him straight on in the legs. This dude does a flip over the car and falls into a limp pile. Girlfriend runs to him, crying in remorse…
As I said, we were a bunch of kids, we were in no way prepared to stick around and talk to the cops, so this was the last I knew of things until a few years later.
One night, back from college on winter break, I was telling this story at a party. A girl looks at me funny, starts asking me date and location questions. She was really freaking out. Turns out she was the driver that hit the jerk, only she didn’t know he was a woman-beating a-hole. No one at the scene, including the girlfriend, said anything about the abuse. The driver had felt guilty for years about running down some innocent guy that just happened to be standing in the road, crippling him for life. My chance retelling of the story took a huge burden off her.”

| Text Source

This Kid’s Tantrums Weren’t Gonna Fly With This Retail Worker

“I worked at a Kmart in high school. It was a small store, so I worked everything, electronics, stocking, cashier – you name it, I did it. I asked a woman and her son, about 12 or 13, if they needed help finding anything as I was out on the floor, and the kid immediately tells me off for annoying him. I ignore it and go about my business. Right after that, I get called to checkouts. As I’m working there, here comes the pair. The kid has gone all out back in the electronics area, with some EA sports titles and a GTA game. I’m checking them out when the age prompt comes up for the M rated game. I decide to take a chance. I flip the game over and inform the mother that, ‘This game has been rated M for the following reasons’ and read the list off the back of the case. There is an awkward silence, then she angrily informs me that the son said it was only a little violent. Kid wasn’t able to get anything that day.”

| Text Source

This Employee Put In His Two Week Notice In The Punniest Way Possible

“When I graduated high school, I moved about an hour north of my hometown to attend a small community college and got a job at a local Wal-Mart, and despite three years experience at Radio Shack (which at the time was basically just RC Cars and Verizon cell phones), I was assigned to their dairy department.
Working dairy at Wal-Mart is probably the worst job I’ve ever had. The dairy supervisor Bill was, from what I understand, new and mildly unintelligent, which caused a lot of people to quit or ask to be moved to other departments. Eventually, it got so bad that I was actually the only person in the dairy department besides my manager.
Stocking milk was the worst part of the job because about 1 in 20 gallons of milk is defective with the packaging, meaning it leaks. When you have a room with a couple hundred gallons of milk, it means a pool of milk will form in your work area which gets in your shoes/socks and on your pants and it smells fantastic at the end of an 8-hour workday.
Now people quitting at Wal-Mart wouldn’t normally be interesting, but a week after I started the only two other grocery stores in the town went on strike. Now, this Wal-Mart served about a 50-mile radius of probably about 200,000 people. Back in 2003 when this happened, the statistics were that for every 10 people that walked into Wal-Mart, 6 walked out with a gallon of milk, so this meant that I was now solely responsible for up to 120,000~ people’s milk needs. Basically, my job became stocking milk for 8 hours. I could start stocking as fast as I could from one end, and by the time I got to the other, the side I started at was empty.
While that would have sucked enough, as it so happens, it’s a requirement in the retail world that you be an idiot to advance to management and Bill had that in spades. This jerk would come screaming at me that I needed to fill the eggs/yogurt/etc, but wouldn’t help me or get help for me for the 120,000 needing their freaking milk.
After 3 months of getting yelled at for putting in 100%, you tend to get a little bitter.
Anyway, I get a call (while on break) from corporate Radio Shack that they spoke to my ex-boss and really wanted to get me on board to help open a new store in a mall. After I confirmed this was a job offer and not just an interview, I told them I’d be available in two weeks after I resigned from Wal-Mart and they agreed.
Fresh off break and in a great mood, I decide to finish the shift and put in my two weeks after, not 60 seconds after I clock back in, I’m told that Bill is looking for me and is ‘pissed.’ I get back to work, tell the inventory guy to let Bill know I’m back on the clock and in the fridge.
About 5 to 10 minutes later, Bill slams open the door to the fridge, ‘Where in the world have you been?’ to which I reply I was on my break, and go back to double-fisting gallons of milk like a champ. ‘Don’t ignore me!’ to which I reply with:
‘Know what Bill? I just got offered a job. I was going to finish out my two weeks, but instead, I’m gonna put in my two milk notice.’ And I softball underhand two gallons of milk about 40 feet at Bill, which hits the concrete floor and sprays him from the thighs down. As I was walking out, I could watch the look on his face move from rage to terror as he realized his new job was now stocking the milk all day.'”

| Text Source

After Years of Childish Dares This Neighborhood Bully Got Just What He Deserved

“When I was a kid, I was the youngest of all the kids on my block. The other kids (including my sister) would have fun tormenting me. They would try and exclude me from things on the basis of ‘you have to be X years old to do it.’
The worst of them was Marcus, who would always be a complete jerk. One day, Marcus and I, along with some of the other kids, went to a nearby school to ride around on our scooters (oh yeah). Marcus convinced me that to be ‘cool,’ I had to jump down a flight of 5 stairs. I succeeded but broke my scooter in the process.
As the kids rode off, laughing at me for not being able to join them, Marcus’ front wheel caught in a crack in the concrete. He FLEW over the handlebars straight into a flagpole. I nearly died laughing. I broke my scooter; he broke his face.”

| Text Source

This Disrespectful Man’s Close Shave Was More Disgusting Than He Realized

“My girlfriend and I moved into an apartment together. Things were going great and a buddy of hers needed a place to stay as he was going through a divorce with his wife. I had never met ‘Saul’ before but we got along fine.
He tells me he’s looking for work as he was working at his father-in-law’s shop and got canned because of the divorce. No problem, just help out around the house and pay us rent when you can.

Two months later – nothing, and this was before the economic downturn, there were companies hiring right and left besides Taco Bell and McDonald’s. Somehow he scrapes together $200 bucks. He immediately goes out and blows it on finishing up a demonic sleeve tattoo. Fantastic, that’s gonna help him get a job. On top of not paying us, he’s also a slob, leaving dirty dishes everywhere and it was to the point that we were washing his clothes for him. And he was using my toiletries, which is where sweet karma comes in.
I inform him at the end of month 3 that we were sorry but he needed to either pay the back rent owed and have a job by the end of the week or he would have to leave.
‘How can you kick me out bro after all I’ve done for you?’
‘You mean shaft me out of rent money so you can get a tattoo that will pretty much guarantee you’ll never get a job in this town? Or doing your laundry and cleaning up after your nasty stuff in the kitchen?’
‘Fine! Screw you! I’ll get my stuff outta your apartment by the end of the day.’
Go to work, come back home and my SO tells me that Saul was pissed and had packed his stuff. I hear him in the bathroom. He’s finally showering after about 4 weeks of taking a break from hygiene and I hear my electric razor. He comes out clean shaven, flips me off, grabs his stuff and splits.
As soon as the door shuts I’m in tears from laughter. She goes in to see the wreck he left in the bathroom and sees the razor on the sink.
‘Saul shaved didn’t he?’
‘Yup.’
‘Isn’t that the…?’
‘Shaver I use to trim my pubic area and shave my scrotum? That it is.’
Both of us are in tears. We find out later he moved to Arkansas, was promptly arrested for assault, served time, was released and immediately got hung up on a Kidnapping charge but was released due to lack of evidence. Saw him the other day, kicking a scraggly beard – I wanted to offer him that razor.”

| Text Source

This Boss’ “Principles” Came Back To Bite Her In The Butt

“I worked as a database administrator for a community center for one summer in university. Basically, I created a database for them to track who was donating to them and how much they were donating and who was volunteering at the center and for how many hours. Very simple work and despite being the youngest person on staff by about 25-30 years, I got along well with all of my co-workers except for my immediate boss who was a total witch.
The next spring, I was applying for jobs and e-mailed my old boss to ask for a letter of recommendation. Much to my surprise, she told me that she didn’t write recommendation letters ‘out of principle.’ I was pretty upset about it because I was finding it very difficult to find a position and not being able to count on my most recent employer for a reference was a definite blemish on my resume.
However, in spite of this, I managed to land a decent job. Lo and behold, my old boss e-mails me on day 1 of my new job, begging me to come in because she had somehow ignored all the warnings in the user documentation I wrote and moved some files around rendering it impossible for her to access the database. She asked if I would come in and I e-mailed her back and told her I already had a job and couldn’t do it ‘out of principle,’ effectively rendering my entire summer at the center a waste of time from their perspective.”

| Text Source

This Tailgating Jerk Paid The Price For Getting Too Close To This Family

“My stepdad is a driving instructor. I went to get my license pretty late (age 22) and one day he was giving me a lesson and we were going over one of the possible courses that the test takes.
While we’re driving down a street in the suburbs a guy is tailgating me really bad. He was a really gangsta looking guy, looked pretty much exactly like Scumbag Steve now that I think about it, sideways hat and all. Every time I came to a stop sign I do a full stop, obviously, and he throws his hands in the air and yells. It’s starting to stress me out, but my stepdad says, ‘Don’t worry about it, watch this.’
As we’re going down the street he says ‘OK, now in about 50 feet I want you to start slowing down a little bit and right when you are in front of that school zone, pull over to the right.’ So I do it, right after I pull over, the guy who is right pissed at me now takes off like a bullet. And about 5 seconds later a cop steps out from behind a tree and waves him over for going probably double the speed limit in a school zone.
We laughed. Hard.”

| Text Source

Enough Was Enough For This Worker And His Supervisor’s Lazy Days Were Over

“I was an assistant supervisor at a factory. Our department had about 30 people. It was a very fast-paced department, and even the most minor mistake could cost someone their job (we made brake pedals), so it was super stressful. Worse, the supervisor (the one I was assisting) was a lazy witch, as she would spend 90% of every day sitting at the computer looking busy, but I know she wasn’t doing any real work (one day I observed her getting on some news website, reading an article, then printing off that article, walking over to the printer, taking the article back to the desk, and reading it again). She also spent a good amount of time texting her boyfriend, but if anyone else whipped out a cell phone, even if it was just to check what time it is, she would ‘confiscate’ it like we’re in freaking jr. high.
She would leave and take days off constantly. Now using your regularly scheduled vacation days is no problem, but she found a loophole: she would come in for an hour, then leave after HER boss went home so he would think she was there all day and she wouldn’t use up a vacation day. There were a lot of times when she claimed she had a ‘family emergency’ and left in the middle of the day and never came back. I don’t know if there really were emergencies or not, but I know she’s single and has no kids.
She took 21 breaks one day (someone counted) while the rest of us only get 3 breaks, 15 minutes each, and she yells at people if they are accidentally out there for 16 minutes, god forbid. People who sit in the outdoor smoking area said that her boyfriend would come visit her, and they would just hang out in the smoking area (while I’m left doing all the work, of course). Then there was a period of ~6 months where we had to work 6 days a week to catch up on some production and she stayed home every Saturday and made me handle everything myself.
I could go on for pages with all the crap she pulled, but I think that’s the gist of it. Anyway, I transferred to another department. The supervisor was MAD when I brought her the transfer form to sign. At first, she tried to tell me that I’m ‘not allowed’ to transfer, but after I got management involved, she signed it. I was only getting an extra dollar per hour to be the assistant supervisor, so I took a pay cut but it was well worth it as now I just run a little machine by myself, in this area with two other guys who are super cool. There’s no official supervisor for that area because it’s just us three guys, so it’s pretty lax. If we get our numbers done ahead of time (which is so easy to do) we can take extra long breaks, and there’s no mandatory overtime except a Saturday now and then, it’s so great. Meanwhile, my old supervisor has to run the entire area by herself and do all the overtime herself as well. She’s working at least 10 hour days Mon-Fri, plus the whole 8 hours on Saturday. I heard things are NOT going well over there since I left. People tell me it’s mayhem.
The best part? My new department is right across the aisleway from hers, so I can sit there and WATCH her pull her hair out from the stress!”

| Text Source

Foul Ball

“My friends and I were playing baseball in a park and the pitcher decides it would be funny to deliberately hit me with the ball. I call him a jerk and go to first. Next batter comes up and by accident slams the first pitch he gets right into the pitcher’s junk.”

| Text Source

Two Against One Didn’t Mean Anything In This Horrible Work Situation

“I worked for Goodwill quite a few years back as a supervisor because my mother and I had really fond memories of treasure hunting there and I wanted to try and build up some management experience with a reputable company. I thought it would be my dream gig for a while even though I knew it would be hard work, except it was anything but.
The manager was an alright lady, but her assistant manager was a tyrant. Every day she would threaten to fire the employees if they didn’t do their work right. I took offense to this because as a supervisor, I wanted my team to be in good spirits and wanted them to love coming into work and doing good things for the mission, but because every single day they were being told they could be fired, morale was rock bottom.
I had a meeting with the manager and I said, ‘I don’t want to step on any toes. I know you run a successful store and I really admire that. I would appreciate it if you could ask the assistant manager to tone down the firing threats because it makes my team nervous and I’d like to have a chance to improve productivity in my own way.’ She said she understood and I felt good about the conversation.
The next day she called me into her office where her and the assistant manager were both waiting for me. They asked me to lock the door. As soon as I did I got the most hate-filled verbal lashing of my entire life. They started screaming at me, ‘You think you can turn us against each other? You are worthless. You just do your freaking job and don’t tell us how to do ours. Who do you think you are??’ This went on for about 20 minutes. I’m a grown man and I nearly started bawling right there. I told them to take this awful job and shove it.
I was the only supervisor they had on a team that required at least two. The manager and assistant manager were already working 60 hour weeks to make things work on a skeleton crew, and when I quit they were going to be working 80 hours each with no weekends until they found someone else. They told me how much of a scumbag I was for not giving two weeks notice and ruining their month. I wasn’t really concerned about it.”

| Text Source

“Oh No, You Don’t Need Me”

“A couple years ago I had a job for a company where I worked in the estimating department and would occasionally do some accounting work and anything else they needed me to all for minimum wage. I always did my work quickly and efficiently, knew more about my department than anyone else there and even taught the guy they hired to run the estimating department after the previous manager left how to do his job.
One day, a couple days after I had totaled my car, I got done with my work and was waiting on a ride home, just sitting in my cubicle. Another employee there who was above me in the company who didn’t like me at all walked by and started berating me for sitting at my desk and not doing anything. I went on to explain to her that I had done all the work available for me for the day, wasn’t on the clock, and was just waiting on my ride. She starts yelling at me about how there was trash in the break room to take out (which was never one of my responsibilities at my job because we had a cleaning company to do that), I told her I didn’t think to do that because it wasn’t part of my job, but I complied anyway.
Well apparently that was enough to get me fired, however instead of doing it themselves they decided to make my dad who also worked at the company fire me. They didn’t say they were firing me, just that they ‘didn’t need me anymore.’
A couple months later the other guy in estimating who I trained how to do his job quit without notice. That’s when they realized no one there knew how to do his or my old jobs. So they called me up begging me to come teach them how to do everything he and I did there and I just replied by saying, ‘Oh no, you don’t need me,’ and hung up.”

| Text Source

This Entire Team Of Workers Plotted Their Revenge Against This Company And…

“I work at a hospital doing overnight registration in the ER and have been in my position for ~3 years. Our company is horribly mismanaged on several levels, nepotism/favoritism runs rampant throughout the company and we are currently being investigated by the Attorney General over our involvement with a consulting agency that broke several state and federal laws. My department has had 4 open positions for almost a year that HR has failed to fill. Instead we pay out a ridiculous amount of OT to make sure shifts are covered. Anyway, word came down from corporate that we needed to reduce our budget. My manager’s decision on how to do this was to make EVERYONE ‘rebid’ on positions based on seniority and performance.
Two days before they announced the rebid, I was called into my supervisor’s office and written up for being 3 mins late. I felt this was unfair as I have a stellar performance and attendance record, especially when compared to the majority of my coworkers. This write-up pushed me to the bottom of the bidding order. Not surprisingly after the rebid I was pushed out of my position and forced to take a large cut in hours, only to find out that the manager’s daughter (who has been with the company a year) ended up with my position which increased her authorized hours.
My revenge: I’ve convinced ~10 people to start looking for new jobs, 4 people have already turned in their notice, 2 have interviews coming up shortly, I turned in my notice and will be leaving the company at the end of the month. Our department is now forced to pay out all accrued PTO to everyone that has left (I have 240 hours saved up). July is going to be a bloody storm for them. Along with the positions that have been open for a year, the department is currently down 5 employees, two more are most likely leaving soon, two women will be leaving on maternity leave shortly, two more are going to be gone nearly the whole month on vacation, and one coworker broke their back at work (slipped on an unmarked freshly mopped floor).”

| Text Source

This Worker Finally Got The Last Word In On His Insensitive Boss

“I’ve been working at Sears for the past 8 months, and it’s one of the most oppressive, horrible atmospheres I’ve ever been in while working retail. It is extremely metric based. They don’t care if you’re a hard worker or have great customer service skills (unless you get them to take the customer service survey). Every day, I have to update every single one of my 15 metrics on the board so that my manager can sit on his fat butt and stare at them all day and hound me and my team on the metrics we’re down on. I also forgot to mention, they have INSANE goals for everything, so it’s literally impossible to make them happy.
The other day a customer was looking at a $3000 zero turn tractor with a $650 protection agreement, and my boss kept calling me on the phone while I was helping him to ask how the sale was going and if he was being receptive to the PA. He told me that everything was on my shoulders and that I could not fail. Finally, the guy ended up just leaving.
A day later, I had to do my coaching. While I was talking to my dept. manager, the store manager popped his head into the room and starts saying, ‘You need to take the heart out of the sale. Stop caring so much about the customer’s feelings. Leave your heart at home and get those protection agreements.’ It got to the point where I was absolutely furious but held it in.
The next day, I talked to a customer on the phone who was looking for a tractor, gave them some pricing information, and they said they’d be in within the hour. When they walk in, they point at the tractor and they’re like, ‘Alright, let’s ring it up.’ Normally in a situation like this, I’d pitch the protection agreement at the product, but I did not have a chance, so I figured I’d tell them the benefits of it at the register, and if they didn’t want it, I wasn’t going to push them, because that would be crappy customer service. They end up saying no, and they leave the store with their new tractor.
About 2 minutes later, my grubby manager walks out onto the floor, and motions for me to follow him. We walk over to a secluded aisle, and he begins to attack me for not getting the protection agreement. I tell him that there wasn’t a good chance to get it because they were set to go and had the price fixed in their head. He replies, ‘Well, did you tell them everything that can go wrong with the tractor? That it uses cheap parts? By not telling them these things you’re giving bad customer service.’ At this point, I snapped. I looked him in the eye and said, ‘Don’t pretend like you care about customer service.’ His eyes widened, I kept going, ‘All you and the store manager care about are your stupid metrics, and instead of trying to help us, you harass us for not meeting these insane expectations. Why do you think people are quitting this stupid job left and right?’ We end up retreating to his back office and exchange words for literally an hour. The best part is that he couldn’t fire me because he needs me. It felt liberating to say what I had wanted to say for the past 4 months and know that he was basically powerless and dumbfounded.”

| Text Source