(Content has been edited for clarity.)
Doing What She Had To Do
“Two things… my daughter had an identical twin who didn’t survive, and the man she knows as her father is not her father.
I was in an abusive relationship and the biological father decided he would rather us both be dead if I didn’t want to be with him, so he started driving into oncoming traffic. I reacted by fleeing the vehicle at 45 mph because I saw a cop car parked a block away. I opened the door and grabbed my knees and tucked my head and rolled out and ended up really bruised and sore and killed one of the babies. But I made it to the police and never saw him again.”
Undesired From The Very Beginning
“My sister told me that our mother didn’t want me. This wasn’t just during her postpartum but even before all of that. She was going to abort me. My sister didn’t let her, but she still tried. She drank, smoked, and did all kinds of illegal substances all throughout the pregnancy.
I came out sooner than I was supposed to and was quite small and weak. My mom tried giving me away and literally threw me into a trash can. I don’t know who my real father is and l will never know. It was probably someone who had his way with her while she was in one of her drinking stupors.
Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t been told all of this, but at the same time, I love my sister more than anything. She is literally the only reason I’m still alive today. Don’t get me wrong, it was crippling to learn that I was an accident/ a drinking mistake, that my own mom wanted me dead, and that she cared so little about what she did while pregnant then went and dumped me in the trash.
It was definitely hard to hear all of those things.”
In A Better Place Now
“My adopted kids were the product of a couple of addicts. Even though they remember their birth mom and dad fondly, they have no idea how horrible they really were, and how much they put the kids’ lives in danger.
My youngest daughter was born two months premature going through withdrawals because the biological mother wouldn’t stop shooting up. CPS also found out that the parents were not taking my oldest daughter, who had leukemia at the time, to her doctor’s visits and had sold an air conditioner that the state had given them for her room for money to fuel their addiction. All of their parental rights were severed by the state.
I really have no idea what has happened to the biological mom and dad since, but the selfish part of me is hoping that they OD or something before one of my kids wants to seek them out. They are toxic people and I want them far away from my children.”
Cystic Fibrosis
“My 9-year-old son doesn’t understand the implications of his cystic fibrosis, which are that his life will be shorter and that he’ll never be able to father children. One day, I have to explain this to him and his younger sister. Honestly, all of this is sometimes harder for me to cope with than everything else. Like how my daughter probably won’t have her big brother around when she’s older.
It’s still hard him not knowing, like watching him struggle to gain weight. He went onto a chocolate and fried food diet last month (it was insane, basically every food rule is backward for him – replace water with lemonade, only use fruit as a way to eat chocolate, extra ice cream) and he actually got skinnier because he got taller that month.
He’s still pretty active but if you just see him playing outside, you can tell that it’s already making changes to his body. I figure give him a few more years of not really stressing him about it other than to make him do the physio and diet aspect.”
Father Figures
“My parents’ divorced when I was 12 because of my father’s drinking problem. He died of cirrhosis of the liver shortly after I turned 14. He was 20 years older than my mom. I’m the oldest of 3 from their marriage (he had children from a previous marriage). Even though I was the oldest, both my younger brothers were twice as big as me and had straight, light hair and were also kind of husky like our 6’2” father, in a stark contrast to my scrawny build and dark curly hair.
After my father passed, my mom moved us back to her hometown where she reconnected with a lot of her high school friends. She had this one friend named ‘Dusty,’ who was gay, and he would hang around a lot and act like kind of a male role model for us. After I turned 16, Dusty was diagnosed with HIV.
One day after dropping him home after a doctor’s visit, it was just my mom and me sitting in the car driving home. Dusty had left his hat in the back seat, so I grabbed it, put it on, and was kind of admiring how I looked in the visor mirror and jokingly said, ‘Man, I look like Dusty in this hat. Shoot, he could be my dad.’
My mom turned ghost white, slowed down the car, and pulled over. She sat looking down at her lap and tears began streaming down her face before she finally said, ‘That’s because he is your father.’
Apparently, the summer after high school, one night after drinking, he decided he wanted to know what he might’ve been missing out on. So, my mom was his test I guess, and she ended up becoming pregnant. Her parents kicked her out of their house, and she moved in with her sister and met my dad. it was originally him just kind of taking care of her, but they fell for each other and married two weeks after I was born. He was listed as my dad on the birth certificate and gave me his name. She said that no one knew who the real father was. She just told everyone that it was a ‘one-night thing.’
After that, we ended up meeting up with Dusty again, and she told him everything. He said that he kind of knew but didn’t want to act like a fool and ask. I spent the next 3 years getting to know my real father before he passed. It was really hard having to lose both of my fathers within 5 years of each other.”
The Trauma Was Too Much To Ignore
Kamira/Shutterstock
“An ex-girlfriend was abused by a neighbor (female). The neighbor also assaulted her own son, making my ex and him do things to each other. My ex was about two at the time.
The neighbor was caught and went to jail. Her parents kept it a secret from her, hoping she was too young to remember. She exhibited all the signs of trauma but had no memory of the actual incident. Since her emotional problems were evident, they decided to disclose the truth and work from there. She didn’t find out until she was 16. Some of the signs were:
-She had a lot of partners but thought of them all as guys she loved who abandoned her.
-She’d threaten suicide to get my attention.
-She wouldn’t take care of herself, drinking every day, pills, starving herself.
At least now she can start getting help.”
Understanding Mental Health
“When I was in the 7th grade, I became increasingly suspicious that I might be experiencing some kind of a mental issue as I’ve always had severe problems when it comes to socializing, and I was starting to realize that a lot of the things I had done as a small kid were kind of weird. One day, my sister told me my mom accidentally mentioned something about me being autistic.
Now, this wouldn’t have meant much, but at that age, all I knew was that it was basically a mental disorder and that obviously frightened me. I asked my mom and she denied it, however, the pieces started to come together, and I realized what all of that counseling was about when I was younger. One day, I was given a form to take to my parents, and I had decided to take a peak. Unsurprisingly, I saw that autism was checked in the list of conditions.
5 years later, and as far as I know, my parents still think that I just accepted my mom’s answer. They don’t know that I know. I’ve never brought it up ever since, and though I’ve gotten far better and am now actually a pretty social guy, I was a bit messed up for a while. I really had no perception of what was okay and what wasn’t. Also, the idea that I was simply insane or something caused me not to care. I only started showering regularly a couple of years ago, and I have absolutely rotten teeth due to a lack of dental hygiene that took place for years.
I’m way better off now, and everything turned out alright, but I was near falling into severe depression several times, and I honestly have no clue how bad things could’ve been. I wish my parents would’ve just explained it all to me earlier on.”
Father-Daughter Love
“My youngest daughter probably isn’t mine, however, I love her just the same.
My wife messed around with a dude who happened to not be me after our house burned down. When she was born, I could tell my daughter does not look very much like me, and soon my wife confessed.
We separated I dated for a while and found I still loved her.
Honestly, I don’t think about it much anymore, but my wife has to every time she looks at our daughter, so I find no need to hang anything over her head.”
Unwanted
“My daughter’s father wanted me to abort her, and I almost did. Luckily, I changed my mind a few minutes before the procedure could start. Her dad didn’t want anything to do with her for the first few years of her life.
Now, he and I share custody, and he’s become a great dad. However, I think that if she ever found out that he originally didn’t want her and that that was the reason behind why he wasn’t around much in the very beginning, it would devastate her.
As a result, it’s something her father and I have promised to keep to ourselves.”
Beyond Inappropriate
“I recently found out why my dad had left when I was a baby.
Apparently, he had made some comments to his friends when he thought that my mom was out of earshot about wanting to do inappropriate things to me. This basically 100% ruined any chances of me wanting to meet him because, honestly, I don’t even know what to believe anymore as she’d been drinking at the time when she had said it, too…”
Late News
“A friend of mine’s dad found out late in life that his ‘mom’ was actually his grandmother and that his ‘real mom’ was the girl that he thought of as his older sister.
It was a case of a teenage pregnancy, and when she found out, the mother concealed her pregnant daughter in the house until the baby was delivered and faked a ‘late’ pregnancy to stop the neighbors from talking.
He only found this out when he was in his 60s and had to access his birth certificate for the first time in decades. It messed him up for quite some time.”
Teddy Bear
“When I was 9, I was in the hospital. My parents got me a teddy bear to make me feel better, and I named him ‘Jarry’ (pronounced Jerry). As a result, he’s still with me today at 30-years-old. My dad passed away 9 years ago.
Recently, my mom told me that it wasn’t my dad and her who gave me Jarry, but instead, my stepdad and her. She told me that my dad never went with them to the hospital when I was sick.
This broke my heart and completely ruined my memories of Jarry. The biggest reason why he had been so special to me (especially for all of those years) was that I thought he provided me with a connection to my dad. Honestly, I would’ve preferred not to know the truth.”
Given Away
“When my sister was a baby, my mother tried to give her away because she didn’t want her. She was the last of five children and there was a big age gap between her and the rest of us. My mother didn’t want to have any more kids and resented the fact that she had to take care of another baby (she wasn’t much of a mother to the rest of us either). She knew a woman through a mutual friend who offered to babysit her so mom could go back to work. The woman started to bond with sis and my mom encouraged it. She would leave sis there for days at a time, which my dad didn’t really notice at first because he worked 60+ hours a week. This went on for about six months. He finally realized what was going on when he didn’t see sis for about a week straight. He asked mom about it and she said that the woman had gone on vacation and took sis with her. When the woman got back, mom still didn’t bring her home. Dad found a letter that basically said that mom was planning on giving sis to the woman. He went over there to get sis, but the woman refused to hand her over, so he had to call the police to intervene. I don’t think she was arrested or anything. After that, my dad filed for divorce. Sis is 21 now and still doesn’t know.”
No Babies
“My son has a ciliary condition that might affect his ability to have children. It might be bad for him when he gets older and wants to start a family. I don’t have any plans on telling him anytime soon as he is only 4. Also, I don’t want him going to high school/college and thinking that he can’t get a girl pregnant.
‘So, dad, what you’re saying is that I can have all the [unsafe] action I want without any concerns?’
It’s actually kind of funny because he (our oldest at 4.5) and his sister (1 month) both have reversed organs owing to this condition. The odds of that condition are usually stated as 1 in 10000, and, as we live in a small town of 15000, our family is kinda wrecking the statistics.”
What Happened To Her Kitten
“My fiancée’s daughter, who is currently 6-years-old, hugged a kitten to death when she was 2. She loves my cats now SO much too. I feel bad for her. She remembers that she used to have a kitten, she knows it died, but she doesn’t remember how. We most likely won’t be telling her about it unless she asks us about it first. I hope that day never comes.
Off To Boarding School
“My mum always used to tell me when I was a kid that I had an older sister called Belinda, and that she was a very naughty girl, and Belinda had to be adopted out to a boarding school because she was that naughty. I believed it for years, and mum didn’t tell me the truth until I discovered MySpace and tried to find her online. At first I thought maybe this was just her way of staying she lost Belinda at birth, but I learned that my mum had me SUPER young, and I was actually a kind of accident. My mum had cancer when she was younger and was supposed to be sterile, so I was definitely a surprise. That’s when I realized all the times I was so scared that I would be adopted away was all because it was her messed up tactic to get me to behave.
An Accident
“My mum told me that I was an accident, and I don’t mean in the normal way that you would tell a child. She told me she used a contraception and took the morning after pill, but when that didn’t work, she booked an appointment at the abortion clinic.
The only reason why she kept me was she had already told my gran about me, who then got overly excited and talked her into it.
I know it sounds like a harsh thing to tell a child (she told me when I was about 14), but it never traumatized me because she always told me that it was the best decision she ever made and that I was determined to live.
However, whenever I tell other people about how she had said that to me, this pure look of shock spreads across their face!”
Cross-Dressing Football Star
“My teenage football star son would occasionally put on my wife’s dresses and hang around the house. He would act like he was just being funny but he would do it for hours.
Recently, we noticed that he also did it sometimes when no one was home (certain dresses would be rearranged and not put on hangers perfectly). He’s a masculine, studly, cross-dressing football star in HS.
This would destroy him if it got out. We’re okay with it and are happy to let him explore.”
Who’s Eric?
“I recently found out I have a half brother and both my parents don’t know I’m aware of it. I was drinking with my aunt who doesn’t know me that well and she said something along the lines of, ‘When your dad brought Eric to town before your parents were married, Grandma got really mad since your parents were about to start a family.’
I asked who Eric was and she assumed I knew then told me my dad got a girl pregnant in California 10 years before I was born and then he split. The mom of the kid somehow tracked him down, not to bug him for money but so the kid could meet his real dad. Surprisingly, I’m not that mad nobody told me considering I’ll probably never meet him, but sometimes I get curious.”
Hockey Dreams
“My dad was a great hockey player in my town and played quite well throughout his university life. I still get told, all the time, by everyone from my hometown how great of a hockey player he was, how I should be so proud of him, and how they couldn’t understand how he never went to play on in the bigger leagues.
One day, I was moving my grandparents to a nursing home and stumbled on a letter written by a university that was offering my dad a full-scholarship to go and play hockey for them. THEY NEVER TOLD HIM because they didn’t want him to leave the family farm, and as far as I know, he still doesn’t know about that (like at least 30 years have gone by).
Since then, my grandparents have passed away, but I still haven’t told my dad. If my parents had ever tried to hide an opportunity like that from me, I think I would’ve disowned them.
More Than Just Appearances
“My child was born with teats that lactate. He’s big now and always had extra fat cells around there. He’s really self-conscious about it, and I’ve always kept that piece of information from him. Unfortunately, we live in such a superficial culture, and I try to teach him what being a quality human being is all about and that his value is more than just his physical appearance.”
Religious Rights
“My neighbors’ child. They are a normal Asian couple who decided to adopt an abandoned baby because they couldn’t have kids. The child is Malay. Now, in our country, a Malay is forced into Islam, but this child was raised as a Christian. We can’t really tell her the truth, or she would be forcibly subject to conversion if the authorities found out. The law does state that a Muslim child cannot be adopted by non-Muslims, so we’re not even sure how they got around that law.”