These mothers are not fans of the women that joined their family. Although, some of the reasons are actually quite valid...
Keeping A Restraining Order Against Her?
“My son married a psychopath.
First, she told him she was pregnant. Then she said she was having twins. A little while later, she said she lost the babies. Then she said one miraculously survived but when she got her period, she determined that it had died too. As soon as her period was over, she told him she was pregnant again and she lost those babies too. She refused to take a pregnancy test and never once went to see a doctor, much less an OB-GYN although I offered to pay for it. Pretty sure the goof was never once pregnant.
My son caught her cheating with her ex-boyfriend and she claimed that her ex was taking advantage of her. The son called the police and then the ex told the police that she’d traded sleeping with him for a cell phone! Then she accused my son of domestic violence. Cops didn’t arrest him, though. They took her to a psychiatric hospital.
Needless to say, I was happy when they divorced. But I keep a restraining order against her just to make sure she never shows back up on my doorstep.”
Savage Mom Started Spreading Rumors
“I was with a woman I thought would be my wife. We talked about marriage and even looked at rings, etc. However, she was Catholic and I’m not.
Her mom HATED my guts because I wasn’t Catholic. Her mom would send her emails monthly saying: ‘He isn’t Catholic. He’s not rich and never will be. Find yourself a rich Catholic boy so you don’t have to work.’
The mom got to the point where she spread rumors to my ex’s friends about me. So now the mom and a bunch of her friends don’t like me.
So she left me in January. I’ve barely spoken to her. I got in touch with her the other day and told her how badly I want her back. Turns out, she’s got herself a wealthy Catholic boyfriend now.
Three years being with her and being broken up for 4 months. I still dream about her every night and she moved on a few weeks after the split.”
Expecting Her Son To Live With Her Forever?
“My mother-in-law used to hate me and probably still does.
The initial reason she supposedly hated me was that before her son and I actually dated, he got wasted on my birthday. I was turning 30 and he was 20. She tried calling the cops on me but I didn’t provide him with the drinks. Then the reason was that of the age difference. But it didn’t make sense, especially when her hubby was 12 years older than her.
My sister-in-law says that the real reason she didn’t like me, was because she expected my hubby, who is the youngest, to live with her his entire life. I guess he grew up and I stole him. She acts like she loves/likes me now but she tells my hubby’s family that he is miserable and that I keep him from the family. Truth is, we moved an hour away because of different reasons and my hubby, although he loves her, is tired of her. He can go visit anytime he wants but we do have a life and are constantly busy with my kids.”
She Brought Out The Worst In Him!
“I am speaking on behalf of my mother, who disapproved of my brother’s fiancée. They ultimately did not get married.
The future-daughter-in-law was hugely dependent on other people to blame her immature and dangerous behavior on. She was never responsible for her decisions, someone (namely her idiot and racist parents) was always to blame for ‘convincing/making’ her do something.
She was insanely jealous. She was jealous of every girl, even cousins, and sisters. She sighted jealousy in the relationship and did things deliberately to call her relationships into question. She would dance and dress provocatively with other men and then be shocked and offended when her obvious behavior was called out in double-standard.
She made zero effort to integrate into our culture, yet demanded he and we make changes to accommodate her and her culture. Going so far as to demand we all learn a new language so that their future children would not be confused. It was not enough that we spoke 2 out of the 3 languages she wanted us to learn. It must always be 100% in her favor. No compromising.
She brought out the worst parts of his character. He has ego issues, she inflated it and spoke down to his friends. Slowly, she started alienating him and reducing his outside influences down to her and a few ‘ugly’ other couples. She laughed in his family’s face, openly called us stupid, and had no issue disrespecting our home and his parents.
In short, he was isolated, ego-driven, money hungry, completely insecure, and only her validation or the validation of her parents was going to make his decisions. Thank goodness we were able to finally talk to him out staying with her before the venue was booked.”
Talking Bad About His Parents?
“My brother got married 6 months ago.
When he proposed, he knew his wife less than a year. They were each other’s rebound, and they moved SO quickly. Now there’s nothing wrong with that, to each their own, so we tried to get to know her and get along with her.
She is a very judgemental person. My parents are divorced, so she would talk bad about one parent to the other, and vice versa, all while being fake nice. Also, she twists around a lot of things we’ve said to alienate my brother from us.
So once they started wedding planning, we ended up having a fallout, and I didn’t speak to my brother for almost a year. To this day, we’re civil, but we don’t speak unless we necessarily have to. It makes me very sad, but I want him happy, so I keep them at a distance to avoid any conflict.
Also, my sister-in-law makes zero effort to befriend my Mom. She calls my stepmother her mother-in-law and doesn’t contact my Mom. That would make sense if my Mom was a crazy person, but she has tried and tried, so she finally gave up.”
Drama Regarding Sugary Foods?
“My mother in law is a fundamentalist Christian who pretends to like me, but I know if I broke up with her son she would be more than overjoyed.
Over the past 10 years, she has said and done things that show her true colors. Myself and her ex-pastor son are atheists, his parents are relentless and creative in their tactics for us to return to the fold. She has said some incredibly rude things about non-Christians. What she doesn’t consider is this is one of the many reasons why we don’t believe or participate.
And ok, so I don’t like fruit pies, big whoop. This became a big deal to her. When we first started dating she told my SO ‘she’s not like us’ when he questioned her about it, she told him it was because I don’t like pie. He basically rolled his eyes at her. So for EVERY birthday for 6 years, she’d bake me an apple pie. I’d politely choke down a piece, and she would stand, smiling her freakin’ face off, and then say, ‘Oh! Right, you don’t like pie. You shouldn’t feel like you need to eat that for my benefit.’
My saving grace is I’m a clean eater now (over 60 lbs down) and I don’t eat sugar, meat, flour, etc. This has also created its own issue. I’m very appreciative when we are invited for a meal, even though I now have to bring my own food. She will not stop putting marshmallows on the sweet potato, sugar in the peas, bacon fat in her salad dressing, heaps of butter and sour cream in the potatoes, and then complains to me she can’t seem to get to the same weight as me.
She’s got 30+ years on me and every time she sees me she asks my current weight, and when I tell her I don’t know she’ll pout and grumble under her breath about it. I work out every freakin’ day and I basically eat vegetables. This is not easy, and it’s also not for everyone. I don’t judge anyone for their weight- that’s your stuff to deal with and I have plenty of my own baggage I’m lugging around. She’s actually grabbed my hips and jiggled me like a side a beef trying to guess.
Don’t get me wrong, I really do love and appreciate her and what she has done for us. I feel that she’s made zero attempts to get to know me (she basically knows where I work and where I live) but has never asked me about my life. She has no freaking clue that both of my brothers are gay. HA!”
She’s Almost 30 Years Older Than Him!
Phovoir/Shutterstock
“Mother here of a son who is married. I didn’t approve of the marriage from the beginning, even though my son is a grown man and of course, can do whatever he wants.
My son married a woman much older than himself, much older than me even. He is 43 now and she is 70. I knew he didn’t marry her for love and only married her for what she had and this alone made me mad. My son brought her to my house to meet me and I was pleasant with her, she was pleasant with me and to my mother, who was very ill at the time, but it was still awkward.
They only spent the night, then left. My son continued living with me and his wife continued living in another city for quite a long time. Every time my son would go to stay with his wife, he came home complaining about her. I never heard anything good, only bad. So of course, this made me dislike her even more.
Fast forward. They get into a big argument while my son was staying with his wife and he comes back home again, complaining about her. He told me she wanted to come to my house to see him and he told her not to come. She did anyway. As I stated, my very ill mother was here and my son’s wife comes here uninvited. She pulls up on the sidewalk for some weird reason and comes to the door. My son refused to go outside and he told me not to open the door so I didn’t. His wife continues ringing the doorbell, making the dogs go insane, then she starts knocking and tries to look in through my windows. My son calls the police and the next thing I know, his wife is in handcuffs. My son goes outside to talk to the officers and he said his wife trespassed. I had to sign it. It was ridiculous.
They are still together I guess but I haven’t talked to my son for awhile – I’m glad I only have one son.”
Upset That They Eloped?
“I can answer the other way: I’m a daughter whose mother doesn’t really like my husband. His personality doesn’t jive with hers, which, I could see at first because he can be a bit tightly wound, where she’s really laid back (but I guess she won’t admit that her daughter is also tightly wound and we’re a great match).
In addition, he didn’t go to college, his family isn’t as solid as ours, and his upbringing was not as good. We also eloped (not in the pregnant teenager sense of the word, but we didn’t have a wedding), which she seems to blame him for and that kind of seals the deal on her dislike of my husband and opinion of my marriage. She doesn’t really ask about him and when I mention him, her answers are curt and seem bothered.
We don’t currently live in my home state, which I am hoping to change very soon. As long as she doesn’t make her unwarranted opinions known, and is able, on some level, to fake it, we’ll be fine – that’s not ideal, but it’s likely how it’ll be. Her mind is made up about him and the things she said about him/us before we married, aren’t things I will ever fully heal from. She has a way, however, of subtly saying things without saying things and if that’s been going on with my family, we will have to address it.”
Bitter Mom That Relied Too Much On Her Son…
“My ex-mother-in-law hated me. She was a bitter woman who had admittedly been through a lot in her life, and it hadn’t left her stronger.
By the time I was in the picture, she had been single for decades, was an addict, was estranged from nearly all her friends and family, and mostly relied on her son (my then husband) and daughter (who kept her distance), plus an array of pets in her cramped apartment, for companionship and emotional support.
Anyway, I was pretty much always viewed as the person who took her son away from her, and there were a lot of expectations that I was to ingratiate myself to her in various ways. Socially awkward, introverted me couldn’t really cope with that. Cue family dinners where she’d just talk to my husband all night, mostly ignore me, and then complain I hadn’t tried to talk to her.”
Overall Dislike Of The Women In The Family
“My grandma hated my uncle’s wife. I think it was pure jealousy. Grandma was a bit of a controlling type and hated being ‘replaced’. She treated my uncle like a child. Sadly, he died of cancer while still pretty young. Grandma tried to re-write the obituary and managed to anger my uncle’s wife and children for a very long time.
My mom hated my brother’s first wife. There were plenty of good reasons- she was an addict, a liar, and a cheater, among other things.
My mother-in-law didn’t hate me, but she didn’t love me either. She resented me and wanted to be the only woman in my husband’s life. It was obvious that she would have felt like that about anyone.
I did not like my son’s first girlfriend. She seemed very disinterested in everything but herself and her phone. I didn’t really know her well or for long but struggled to see what he liked about her beyond her looks. She was pretty.”
“We Didn’t Want To Like You”
“My husband and I have been together for 10 years now. Married for 7. I am overweight, by quite a bit. He is 5 years younger than I am. I have 2 children from 2 previous marriages. He divorced his wife and they had no children so it was drama-free and clean.
When he took me to ‘meet the parents’, we arrived at this super nice gated community. They lived in an insane house that was decorated to the nines; it was literally perfect. I felt so out of place, being in the company of such a pretty and petite family. I should mention his brother and wife were also there that night. The car ride there I was sweating bullets. I walked in the door and from that exact moment, I had never felt so accepted, welcomed and loved. I admitted to my mother in law recently, that if I were in her shoes I would have told my son to run for the hills. She was honest and said as a mother, she was cautious for her son and what my past might bring to our relationship. She even said: ‘We didn’t WANT to like you, but you made it impossible.’ To brag a bit about my husband, he has become the most amazing man and has been the best dad to my children, while helping me raise them.
My mother, on the other hand, has been nothing but unaccepting and outright RUDE to him. She even recently stating that ‘no one is good enough for her daughter,’ yet she is friends with BOTH of my ex-husbands on Facebook and even remains ‘friends’ with my first ex-mother-in-law. She says she does it to keep an open dialog for the sake of my son. In reality, my son has had nothing to do with his grandmother for years – so it’s basically an excuse. She makes me sick. I’m pretty much done with her at this point. He has been amazing to me and our kids. We have built an incredible life together and are still going strong a decade later and she’s still a jerk to him. The rest of my family thinks he’s a great guy and don’t see what her problem is.”
She Doesn’t Ever Help Out!
“For me, I don’t like my other son’s new wife because she’s a lazy brat, to put it bluntly. They’re both 26 now and she doesn’t lift a finger to help do any housework, laundry, etc. She seems to expect him to do everything for her and to me, it feels like he’s a doormat, in that respect even though he probably doesn’t see it that way. You can go into their house and there’ll be piles of dirty dishes just lying around unwashed and it’s disgusting. Relationships should mean shared responsibility but she doesn’t do her part.
On top of that, it’s like she treats our home like hers. She just makes herself at home around our pool and hot tub, she uses them more than we do and we live here. The only good thing I have to say is she doesn’t seem to be after him for money (we’re a well-off family and he’s making £100k+ at 26 and should be making £500k by 35-40 at this rate) and she builds up more savings than he does despite earning 4x more. Honestly, I just wish she would do more to help out, even just offering would be nice even if we don’t need it but as long as they’re happy I keep out of it.”
Thankfully He Moved On…
“It was his girlfriend of 2 years and she is an ex now, thankfully. They were 19 when they started dating.
The biggest issue was a lack of maturity and low self-esteem, typical young-ish control and jealousy stuff. It displayed itself in a list of behaviors:
Slowly but surely, she started disliking his friends and family, which led to many people being systematically removed from his life. She made constant accusations of cheating when he was very devoted. He is a one-woman kind of guy. Sadly she was a child in a woman’s body.
She also had a pattern of the silly junior high romance with unwanted roughhousing, pinching, tickling etc. This was done aggressively after being asked to stop.
There was also this expectation of him to join her, repeatedly, in activities she enjoyed but he disliked while not willing to share him in his interests. Then would quiz him on stuff to make sure he was paying attention and learning.
Her family had issues, which she modeled which included belittling of his lifestyle and interests. Our family has issues too but we all support one another’s quirks and eccentricities. We don’t require anyone to know our secret coo-coo handshake to join in on the circus.
She would use sleeping with him as a tool to distract him when he was wanting space from her. From what he said, she wasn’t even good at it. He was never allowed to do things on his own or he would get CONSTANT texts and calls so he would have to rush what he was doing, even if it was mowing his Grandma’s lawn. He couldn’t even have lunch with me without having to pay for it later.
She never complimented or appreciated him. She also worked below part-time (as few hours as possible) spent her money on unnecessary things, expected him to pay all the bills, never did her half of housework and whined when he was too tired or broke to take her out.
She has absolutely zero goals to improve herself, go to school or look for a decent job.
This one is a bit strange, but she never wore makeup, like NEVER. But then she started to at the end, when she would go out alone with her sister to bars. NEVER dressed up for him. Like for real. I mean to say that the makeup isn’t the issue here, the fact that she was getting dolled up to go to bars without him, as their relationship was nearing the end but never cared to doll herself up for him, ever, is the point.
She collected pets and neglected them but expected him to care for them and also expected him to help her family with manual jobs around their home.
Saly she also had some issues with depression. My whole family is a truckload of mental illness so I do not mean that depression was a flaw of hers. However, even when given compassion and options to seek help, she refused to do anything about it. If someone is depressed enough to complain about it constantly, to a degree that it causes it in someone else around them, it’s time to pop some happy pills or reconsider one’s romantic suitability.
There was a lot of subtle manipulation and goodness knows what other goofy stuff she came up with at the time to play games or give nonsense tests.
For what it’s worth, we as a family all gave a big effort to like her, get along with her and treat her like family, without judgment. We even paid for and took her on a vacation with us.
After they broke up and he was in his ‘I don’t want a girlfriend phase,’ he had TONS of girls after him, lol. He has a new girlfriend. She isn’t without her own issues but she also has a lot of great qualities that more than make up for it. Nobody is perfect, especially my little man, but she makes him feel good about himself and she makes him laugh. She is a definite keeper.”
The Inevitable Fights When They Visit
“I know why my mom doesn’t like my sister-in-law. The main reason is that she’s unpleasant and mean.
Every time we went to visit, she will make sure there’s at least one fight with my brother; at least one yelling, drag-out fight. So now every time we’re trying to enjoy a visit, it’s tense because we’re waiting for the inevitable.
Watching my nephew watch his parents scream at each other is the worst part.
My brother went from doing ok, having friends and a sense of humor, and some stuff, to now being overweight, unhappy, and having nothing to do on the weekends but drink and watch TV. Which she then picks a fight about. He’s so wrapped up in it, even when I try to get him alone for a while, it takes him a while to unwind. Otherwise, he puts me down so he doesn’t feel awful.
It sucks. I used to be best friends with my brother.
And Ma knows it too and hates her as much as she can. Mainly, it’s pity because it’s clear she’s a miserable person.”