From crazy first dates to fanatical exes, these men share the creepiest thing a woman has ever done or said to them.
This Was One Crazy Cop
“Ok, many years ago, I had a ’92 Camaro which I kept in great condition and drove when I was on leave.
One night, I was driving home from a date when I got lit up. I checked my speed and sure enough: I’m doing 85 in a 55. Uh oh.
I pulled over, and a policewoman approached my car. License, registration, the usual. I forked everything over, and she asked me if my car is a ’92. I tell her that it is, and she started asking me all kinds of questions about it. Had I done any engine work? Replaced the transmission or rear pumpkin? What kind of clutch did I have on it? Where did I get it from?
I answer gamely enough, thinking maybe I might get a lesser ticket if she’s in a good mood. One answer was that I bought it at auction a few years back.
She tells me about how she used to drive a pursuit car that was a ’92 Camaro. Which was eventually sold at auction, a few years back.
Then she tells me how she had her first time in the back seat of that car.
Well, okay then.
Things started to get weird. She claimed there was a problem with my plate and ran my VIN. Sure enough, it was the car she used to drive. She started flirting with me a lot. And not just flirting, but telling me about herself.
She hadn’t been with anyone until she was 27, because she’s a devout Christian. But she eventually realized that God doesn’t really care about premarital stuff. She’s tried ‘every substance known to man’ by taking ‘samples’ from the evidence locker. This woman loved to party.
After she saw my military ID, she started telling me about a Marine she used to date, and how they’d hook up in public. She went on and on about how much she Loves Our Troops™.
She wants to have kids, a boy, and a girl. She can’t see herself settling down though unless it’s with a cop or a soldier.
I started out confused, but by the time she climbed into the back seat and was telling me that she’d like to recreate some old memories, I was getting freaked out.
This is an adult woman, in her full police get-up, in my back seat basically proposing to me and offering to consummate the union right there, on the side of a road in an upscale suburb of Miami in the middle of the night.
An image occurred to me, of me coming home after dating and breaking up with her, to find my next girlfriend dead, and a murder weapon with my fingerprints on it letting next to her.
I couldn’t shake it the whole time. I was scared in a way I hadn’t ever been before.
I made my excuses, claimed to have a girlfriend (I did not: the date hadn’t gone that well), and told her I had to get up early in the morning. She let me off with a warning… And her phone number.
I never lost a number so fast in my life, but I spent the rest of my leave getting spooked by every cop car I saw, thinking it was her.”
This Woman Somehow Ruined French Fries For This Man
“I was a bouncer at a dive bar in college to help pay my way. This led to a number of odd encounters with lonely patrons.
This particular evening was cold, bitterly cold. And outside was a horrible phenomenon called freezing fog. If you haven’t experienced this, ice just forms on things out of the air. It literally will form in your beard, hair, and eyelashes. It’s awful. So I had to stay just inside the door to check IDs and only ventured outside for short stints in the cold, then came in to defrost.
A woman came in alone, the mid-30s. And she looked well, the word ‘frumpy’ comes to mind. The bar was pretty empty, being a weeknight.
There was a booth right next to the door that was generally empty because the crowd generally hung out further in. This woman sat in this booth alone, on the far side, staring at me. She stared enough to make me uncomfortable, but it was too miserable to be outside for long.
Then a basket of fries showed up. These are generally shared, it’s like two pounds of potato. She then proceeded to take each fry, dip it deep into a tub of the ranch, then suck the ranch off the fry, without ever taking her eyes off me.
This was the most aggressive act of potato fellating I’ve ever seen, and it was committed not just in front of me, but directly AT me.
To this day, I find french fries exceptionally disgusting food.”
The Story Of Lunatic Lucy
“So, in my early 20’s I was working as a bartender. One night this girl comes in (I’ll call her ‘Lucy)’. She sits down at the end of the bar. She looks nervous, she’s checking her phone obsessively and over the next hour starts looking more and more upset. Eventually, I figure out she’s been stood up.
She’s on the verge of tears, I feel sorry for her, so I go over, put a free drink on the bar in front of her, and as I put it down I say ‘Just so you know, whoever stood you up is an idiot’
She gives a half-hearted laugh, a weak smile, and says thanks.
Over the rest of the night, we get talking. She’s good-looking, sweet, smart, funny…so I was absolutely delighted when she asked me if I’d like to take her out some time.
The next day we go out for coffee. Super-casual, barely a date, we just met at a coffee shop and hung out and chatted for a couple of hours. Again, she seemed to be pretty awesome and things went well.
The next night, I’m back in work, Lucy comes in again, sits at the end of the bar, we’re getting along great… and then I turn to serve a customer
Now, I’m a bartender, part of my job is being friendly with customers, so I’m serving this girl her drinks, just chatting… when Lucy stamps over and starts screaming at this girl at the top of her lungs to ‘Get the heck away from my boyfriend!’
The girl just gives her a surprised look, which Lucy takes as a personal challenge and punches the girl in the face.
I have to jump over the bar, get between them, grab Lucy and drag her out of the bar. I get her outside and tell her that I am not her boyfriend, that we went out once for coffee… and if she was going to flip the heck out and physically assault a customer at my job just for talking to me, I had no interest in being her boyfriend.
She screams she shouts, she starts trying to scratch my eyes out. I tell her to go the heck home before I call the police … so she spits in my face and storms off. I go back inside, apologize to the customer and finish my shift while trying to work out what the heck just happened.
The next morning I wake up to find 137 texts on my phone and my voicemail complete filled. It was absolutely weird. First lots of ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me,’ then ‘Why aren’t you answering?’ then ‘I hope you die,’ then back to apologies.
Basically, a cycle of her apologizing and begging for forgiveness, then a load of abuse, then apologies over and over.
I block her number. A couple of days later I start getting the same type of texts from a different number. I block that…a few days later, a different number again. I call her, tell her to stop calling me, threaten to call the police, that just spurs her on more.
About a month later. I’m back at work and Lucy walks in. As she gets to the bar, I tell her if she’s there to cause trouble, she can just leave… but she acts like she has no idea what I’m talking about and tells me she’s just meeting her new boyfriend there.
Inwardly, I breathe a sigh of relief. If she’s found a new guy, maybe I don’t have to worry. I mean he does, but maybe she’ll finally leave me alone.
Abour 20 minutes later the guy walks in. I don’t even notice until I go over to that side of the bar to take their order… and I look at the guy and my blood turns to ice.
This guy was my doppelganger. I mean, he looked exactly like me. I mean, he locks eyes with me and I see he’s genuinely startled. His face starts to break into a grin (I mean, it’s pretty cool to meet your exact double)… When Lucy introduces me to him as ‘her ex’.
I see the guy’s face fall. If you look up ‘Oh f* no’ in the dictionary, there’s a picture of this guy’s expression when Lucy called me her ex. Yeah, imagine dating a new girl, meeting her ‘ex’, and realizing he’s basically your twin.
The guy looks super uncomfortable, I just get their drinks and stay the heck away… and she’s all over him. Every time she sees me glance in her direction, she grabs the guy and tries to kiss him. Over the next few hours, she gets wasted until finally, she has another meltdown.
Basically, her new boyfriend figured out that a) She was crazy and b) She was clearly just using him to make me jealous…and noped the heck out. His rapid departure and my total lack of reaction to her being all over him tipped her over the edge.
She goes ballistic, I have to kick her out again and I’m literally on my phone calling the police before she realizes I’m totally serious about calling them and books it.
The next night I was going to bed, turned off my bedroom light and my phone buzzed. It was her, the text just said ‘Goodnight’. I looked out my window and she was parked across the street. I have no idea how she found out where I lived.
Enough was enough. I called the police. I got a restraining order… but it was only after she got arrested for breaking it that she actually left me alone.
Well, She Moved Pretty Fast!
“A few years ago I met a woman through a dating app, and I was chatting with her in the app for a few days. It was still in that awkward ‘getting to know you phase to see if it’s even worth a first date, ‘we had never met in person or even spoken on the phone at this point.
She tracked down my entire family on social media to send them friend requests. This includes my parents, siblings, some aunts, uncles, and cousins. I had apparently been tagged by one of them in some big family photo that they’d made public. My social media addict aunt was the first one to see the request and asked her who she was, this psycho told her she was my fiancée.
A few of them asked me what was going on, some seeming hurt that they’d never met my alleged future wife. I asked her what the heck was going on and told me she was in love with me and knew we’d be together forever. I was so shocked that I just replied ‘no’, blocked her on everything I could think of, and told my family to do the same.
A week later she showed up at my job, hopped the fence when security wouldn’t let her through the gate, and was arrested for trespassing. I never told her where I worked and it wasn’t publicly available information because I work at a government lab. I had to explain to my boss that I matched with a stalker on Bumble and they had to do an investigation to figure out that she’d found my address through the alumni directory at my college (that was listed on my profile) and followed me to work. I actually had to have my car checked in case she’d put a GPS tracker on it.
I’m a fat bearded dude whose hobbies are playing tuba and Dungeons and Dragons. So it was incredibly surreal having some woman going that nuts over me.”
Manipulation At Its Worst
“In high school, I dated a girl for three years. By the time our senior year started, we were broken up and started dating new people. Every so often, the old girlfriend would try to reconnect, but I tried not to lead her on. We would still be friendly towards each other in school, but I would avoid being alone with her. It was obvious that she wanted to stay together and work it out, but I had no more interest in that relationship.
I start dating another girl and about two months into that, I get a call from my ex-girlfriend saying that she was pregnant from our last time together (she explains two positive pregnancy tests and a confirmation from a doctor, but I never saw any evidence myself). This was a huge shock, but I decided to end it with the other girl, told my parents, told my coach, and told a close friend or two that I was going to be a daddy while they all went to college. We tried to work on our relationship, but decided that we wre still not going to be romantically involved. After about a month or so of feeling confused and scared, I came to terms with it and started to get excited about the whole scenario. ‘Being a dad will be cool! And I can still go to school closer to home.’
One night I was at my house alone and enjoying a few glasses of spirits. Anyways, I was pretty plastered and at home watching Lord of the Rings when I geo a text from the ex-girlfriend saying she was walking over to see me and laugh at my wasted self. She arrived and by that time I was so gone that I could hardly stand up, but she helped walk me back to the couch and we both laughed at the fact that I am wasted, drinking alone, and watching LOTR. Things started to get blurry there. I have vague memories of her trying to dance on my lap or get close to me, but that is it before blacking out and waking up in my bed with her on top of me.
Instantly I freaked out and ask her what happened. She says that I invited her over, I was really plastered, and I wanted to hook up. I recalled feeling confused and violated, but also blamed myself for inviting her inside and letting myself get into that situation. I try to ignore it and let it go. I asked her ‘Did we use protection?’ and she looked at me, smiled, and explained how pointless that was since she was already pregnant.
I asked, ‘Oh no, did you drink at all? You’re pregnant!’
She didn’t have any. I drank the whole bottle myself (she confirms and says she watched me finish it off).
About two weeks later, I get a call from my ex-girlfriend’s Mom saying, ‘Everything is okay, but I need you to go home from school.’
I start wondering what the heck happened and got scared because we haven’t told her parents yet, just mine.
My mind starts racing…What the heck am I supposed to do?!
I go home and when I get there, her parents were talking to my dad and she iwa in the back seat of their car crying and throwing a tantrum (kicking the car windows and screaming). They drove away pretty quickly. I go inside and wait for my dad to tell me what is going on. He sits me down and explains to me that my ex had a miscarriage and that he was sorry. He explains that her parents want us to not see each other while all this plays out. I respectd their wishes and we fall out of touch for years.
Years later, we ran into each other and decide to hang out and catch up. During the catch-up, I ask her for some closure and to explain what happened all those years ago. Thinking back it was hard to understand how everything played out the way it did. And at that moment she decides to confess to me that she made up the pregnancy to get me back. She made up the two positive pregnancy tests and lied about her doctor’s visit. She even told me her parents helped her come up with the miscarriage as a way to get out of the lie she had created.
Then the night I got wasted hits me again. She came over, knowing that she had already shared this big lie with the world about being pregnant. At this point, she had told her parents that she took a pregnancy test and it was positive so they wanted her to do one again and show them physical proof.
Well, that happened to be right when I was absolutely wasted, alone and escaping to Middle Earth. She came over, with the intent of having unprotected hanky panky with me so that she could make the lie she told come true. Basically, she had a mission to get pregnant that night so her parents wouldn’t know she was lying.
Thinking about it now, it makes me sick to my stomach. Her manipulation was incredible and fierce. Most of the time I can brush this off as my ‘crazy ex-girlfriend story’ but other times it makes me feel anxiety and panic. Creepy doesn’t even scratch the surface here. So glad I got out of that situation relatively okay.”
How On Earth Did She Get Into His Car?
“Back when I was 19-20 years old, I had a part-time counter job at a local shop. After work, I would go out to my car and I started finding notes tucked under my windshield wiper. They were casual ‘You’re so cute, I want to get to know you’ type notes. There was no name or anything so I just kind of shrugged it off and went about my business. The notes started becoming more frequent and eventually turned into full-out love letters. They talked about being lonely and wanting to be my girlfriend, but she was too shy to talk to me.
At that point, I started to get concerned, so I asked the people I worked with if they knew anything, none of them knew a thing about it, but thought it was hilarious. Then what really put me over the top is one night I went out to my car, there was nothing on my windshield, but I get in my car and notice a wrapped present with an envelope taped to it. I open the gift, it’s a very expensive bottle of Bacardi which I threw out. I read the letter and it’s super sensual and vulgar, clearly from a woman.
I still have no idea who is doing this. This keeps on going with a different gift the next few nights; a bag of weed, a CD from my favorite band, a gift card to a restaurant. At this point, I’m super freaked out and talk to my boss to see if there is anything they could do. They basically shut me down and wished me good luck with the issue. That night a triple checked to make sure my car door was locked, and sure enough, after my shift another bottle of boos and a letter. I called my boss the next day and quit. Never went back, never found out who it was.”
Crazy Woman And A Crazier Prank
“I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a woman my age (and a couple of other people). She was kinda cute but also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She’d flirt with me a lot, but I wasn’t interested. So she started sending me emails. They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn’t work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn’t. They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually, I had another female officemate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally, the emails stopped.
Not too long after, I moved very far away–like another side of the world far away. Another officemate sent me an email after I had been there a few months asking me what city I lived in. I told her, and she wrote back that she had heard a crazy emailer was moving there–to this same small city halfway around the world. That couldn’t be a coincidence, right? I asked the office mate for more details, and it got creepier and creepier: she was moving in my neighborhood, she had gotten a job nearby, she was looking for an ‘old friend,’ etc.
It was about a week before the old office mate finally came clean that she was messing with me.”
Summer Camp
“I was at a summer camp for blind and visually impaired people and we were going somewhere (it’s not your traditional summer camp). Anyway, I was on the bus and my friend and I were talking and all of a sudden he said: ‘Oh yeah, by the way, there’s this girl that told me that she likes you and that she’s going to sneak into your room and watch you sleep. She wanted you to know that or else she threatened to kill me.’
I didn’t believe it at first, but the next morning I noticed that I was missing a chunk of my hair! And then I was like okay, ‘What. The. Actual. Heck.’
This would continue to happen every night at the camp. I was just a dumb teenager and I didn’t know who to talk to and doubted anyone would believe me.
The next year I went, it happened again, and then I started to make sure my window was locked. I then heard the night I started doing that knocking repeatedly and more aggressively ‘I know you’re in there, open the dang window!’ in a whispered voice.
I noped the heck out right there and started sleeping with my cane since then. (I’m not completely blind but I still have one). I haven’t been there since 2018 but I am going back this year. Hopefully, that doesn’t happen again. That scared me.”
Red Flags Everywhere
“Facebook summer 2011. I was 17, she was 20. She seemed kinda familiar so I assumed we knew each other. So I accepted and asked how we knew each other.
Turns out we did not know each other. She found my profile via creeping and decided she wanted to sleep with me. Sent me photos, and messages trying to convince me. Now, this freaked me out, like red flags everywhere, but I was really more curious than anything. I agreed to meet in a public place, which she agreed because she wanted to hook up in public. I made sure to pack some Trojans.
We met in person and actually matched the photos. So spent a good part of a day shacking it up in various public places, getting road head from place to place, and getting to know this stranger. She was absolutely insane. Cannot stress enough crazy she was. But I’m in too deep at this point. Afterward, she wants to meet again and go on a date. I ghosted her and she got the message.
But wait there’s more.
A few months later she tried to hit me up again and I just kept giving lame excuses until she stopped. Then I see she added my friend on Facebook. I had told him about her before, but at this time we were not on good terms. They meet up and actually date. Like my homie knew why I backed out and drove right in. Things inevitably fell apart shortly after she gets pregnant.
That’s the story of how me accepting a friend request resulted in my buddy having a kid.”