When Dad asks you to keep a secret, you know its gotta be good. From absolutely heartwarming to hilariously mischievous, these 16 stories show how sometimes, the most special memories are special case "Don't tell your Mother."
“Looking Back, My Dad Probably Had To Scrimp On Some Meals…”
"I was really into books when I was eight but new books were a luxury that my family couldn't really afford. On paydays, my Dad would bring me to the book store to grab a few new books and we'll sneak them home without telling mum. Looking back, my dad probably had to scrimp on some meals then but it did encourage my lifelong love for reading."
“He Reached For A Water Bottle Sitting On My Desk And Took A Big Swig.”
"While my dad was sitting in my room having a conversation with me he reached for a water bottle sitting on my desk and took a big swig. Of vodka. He didn't even react much other than the momentary surprise of tasting alcohol instead of water, but he still hasn't told Mom."
“One False Move And You’d Fall To An Instant Death On The Jagged Rocks Below…”
"My father grew up in the country and was always doing Tom Sawyer type stuff. He used to take me under this train bridge and we'd meander around beneath the giant i-beam. One false move and you'd fall to an instant death on the jagged rocks below. We hung out there a bunch, but one time I slipped as a train was passing over us and my dad's protective instincts kicked in and he threw me to safety by the edge of my coat. If he hadn't done that I wouldn't be alive now."
“We Locked Eyes And Knew The Truth…”
"Once, my Dad and I both had the same idea to play hooky from work/school as a long con to avoid going to my mom's Christmas party at her school. We both hate hearing the children sing Christmas carols tone deaf, and my mom hates it when we don't go and suffer with her because then she has to suffer through it alone. I remember both of us coming out of our bedrooms and literally bumping into each other because we both thought we were the only ones home. We locked eyes and knew the truth."
“He Looked At Me And Said, “I Won’t Tell Your Mother If You Don’t…”
"I was 12 and my Mom was losing her damn mind over film ratings. Even the new PG-13 rating was off-limits. My Dad and I went to the four-plex one day to see a movie and the options were crap, crap, crap and some movie called Die Hard. We looked at the posters, then looked at each other and he said, 'I won't tell your mother if you don't.' Best first R-rated movie ever."
“I Noticed His Truck Parked On A More Rural Road Not Far From A Friend’s House…”
"Dad used to always come home right after work and then one day I noticed his truck parked on a more rural road not far from a friend's house. I found him back in a 'wood mill' type place, using a wood-splitter machine to cut logs into different sizes. He made me promise not to tell Mom that he was doing part-time work to save up money to take her on the anniversary trip she had always dreamed of, but couldn't afford on the salary from his regular job. I gave him a BIG hug, and kept that secret. And what a trip they had—I don't think I had ever seen Mom so happy!"
“Her Mom Flipped Out About How Much Money He’d Wasted On Fish…”
"A friend of mine lived out in the country and there was a small pond on their property. She and her mom got back from a shopping trip one day to find that her father had stocked the pond with koi. Her mom flipped out about how much money he'd wasted on fish. After Mom stomped off into the house, Dad leaned over and whispered, "They're just goldfish, but don't tell her!" and grinned."
“Dad And I Built The Holy Mother Of All RC Ramps…”
"My dad and I got some pretty sweet gas powered RC cars for Christmas. When my mom left for work, Dad and I built the holy mother of all RC ramps in the back of the truck and started launching the RC cars over the house. We thought it was hilarious until I messed up and didn't hit the jump fast enough. Ended up sending it through the window. Dad's response as he looks at his watch: 'Guess what kid? Your going to learn how to replace a window today before your mom gets home…'"
“When She Left, My Father Took Us ‘Impulse Shopping’ At The Grocery Store…”
"When I was young my Mom sometimes visited her mother for a week or so by herself. When she left, my father took us 'impulse shopping' at the grocery store and we would live for the week on whatever my Dad, my Brother and I picked out. I remember subsisting on liverwurst and gummy bears."
“Pretty Soon, Black Smoke Was Coming Out Of The Chimney And He Put Out The Fire…”
"One time my dad bought some new shoes, and instead of throwing out his old ones like a normal person he decided to burn them. So he threw them into our wood stove and lit them on fire. Pretty soon, black smoke was coming out of the chimney and he put out the fire."
“I’ve Still Never Told…”
"My favorite were trips home from college. My Mom would slip me some cash, and tell me not to tell Dad. My Dad would slip me some more cash, and tell me not to tell Mom. I've still never told."
“My Mom Walked In On Me And An Ex…”
"My mom walked in on me and an ex getting it on and flipped out. She told my father (they were divorced) and hoped he would talk some sense into me. He said five words about it: 'next time get a lock.'"
“He Pointed At Me In The Kitchen And Said, ‘See Your Mom’s Butt?'”
"My husband was helping our older son with his science homework and discussing the difference between concave and convex. He pointed at me in the kitchen and said, 'See your mom's butt? That's what concave looks like.' My son says, 'Mom's butt slopes inward?' Then a wild spatula appeared from the kitchen and hit my husband in the head."
“My Dad—Giddy And Covered In Sweat—Would Toss Out As Much As He Could…”
"My mom saved everything because 'you never know what could be turned into a project.' Our garage would get so full of crap that you could hardly walk through it. Once a year my mother would go on a work related retreat and the second she left, a dumpster would pull up and my dad—giddy and covered in sweat—would toss out as much as he could. For the next few months my mom would ask, 'Did you throw (insert random item here that probably had no purpose, except now as a source of ire against my dad) away too?!' My dad would glare with a 'keep your friggin mouths shut' look and reply, 'Oh no, Dear. We wouldn't have tossed that out. It's probably still in the garage somewhere.'"
“Told Me To Keep It A Secret Because Mom Never Allowed Us To…”
"When I was six I woke up because of a nightmare. Everyone except for my dad, who was still up watching tv, was asleep. He saw that I was really scared so he took me out in my pajamas to get Pizza Hut. Told me to keep it a secret because Mom never allowed us to have junk food. Still haven't told her."
“I Am Sworn To Never Tell Her…”
"When I was born, my mom had serious postpartum depression that triggered other mental illnesses. She spent a long time in a mental hospital, and I took my first steps while she was away in the hospital. Then one day when my dad took me to visit her in the hospital, I started walking, and dad pretended that those were my first steps and that she got to witness them. I am sworn to never tell her."