Weddings are one of the most important days in a person's life. They are the beginning of two people's new lives together. Usually, guests are smiles and well wishes. But not always! Sometimes those guests (and even the wedding party!) take a look around and object!
The Bride Objected!
“When the pastor got to the part ‘or forever hold your peace,’ the bride said, ‘Yes, I’d like to say something.’ Then she turned around to her guests and said, ‘I’d like to thank my maid of honor for sleeping with my fiancé last night.’ With that, she threw her bouquet and stormed off- The story even made it on the radio at the time”
Cutest Objection Ever
“My dad was marrying his third wife.
My step brother and I were in the wedding party. He was about 6, I was 10. The preacher asks if anyone objects and my brother raises his hand so very politely. My dad asks why, and my step brother replies, ‘Because I want you to promise to take me fishing whenever I want, first'”
Is This Incest?
“My ex-stepmom was getting married to my cousin. I really like my cousin, and my ex-stepmom is one of the worst people I know, so I tried to talk him out of it, but he was committed. They said their vows and everything, but when the pastor asked if anyone objected, I stood up. I talked about how terrible of a person my ex-stepmom was, and how she was tricking my cousin. I practically begged him not to marry her, but he wouldn’t even look at me. After a minute of me talking, I realized that everyone else in the room was actively hating me, so I left. They’re still married to this day — five years next Thursday. They seem to be genuinely happy. I’m starting to wonder if I just had the wrong idea about my ex-stepmom. I go over to their house sometimes and eat dinner”
The Bride’s Father Don’t Play
“I was at a college buddies wedding when a drunken childhood friend of the bride tried to stand up and profess his love for her. The bride’s father immediately stood up and tried to haul off said drunken guy by the ear, except he was so pissed he pulled too hard and partially severed the guy’s ear. I was also pretty tipsy and laughed a little too hard when the dude screamed like a small girl, but I was not the only one. A few people even applauded”
“This happened at one of my friend’s sibling’s weddings. Her parents are super conservative and hadn’t gotten the chance to know the daughter’s fiancé very well before they got married. In their minds, all that was relevant about him was that he was 10 years older than her and had been previously divorced.
They had made subtle and not-so-subtle comments here and there before the wedding that they weren’t happy about it. It should have been a forewarning of what was to come. The day of the wedding, everything was beautiful. Friend’s sister and her fiancé were ecstatic to be getting married and invited friends and family from both sides to their outdoor wedding.
All was going well until the preacher asks the audience if anyone has objections to why they should get married…. and as serious as can be, dad of the bride stands up and says, ‘Her mother and I object,’ and then after a long hesitation sits back down. Silence. No one can believe that that just happened. Not knowing exactly how to handle it, the preacher just says, ‘Ok,’ and finishes the ceremony as planned. I can’t even imagine how the bride and groom must have felt. My friend says the tension in the room was unbelievable. But they got married all the same… they just do a lot of avoiding the in-laws, as one might imagine”
His Achy Broken Heart
“Oh god. This reminds me of a close friend of mine’s wedding.
I’ve known this dude for years, we’ll call him Ray
Ray meets a girl we’ll call Katie. Katie already had a daughter. She was never married to the father, Jeff, they just didn’t click, very amicable separation. They shared custody of the child, no fighting, no demand for child support, very ‘worldly’
Katie was pretty cool and got along with our friend group pretty well. Soon enough, Jeff becomes best friends with Ray.
A couple of years go by, Ray and Katie decide to get married. Around this time, Ray confided in me that frequently his new best friend Jeff was being weird about Katie. There was vague evidence of it not being as amicable a separation as it seemed.
Jeff was pretty quiet about his life and talked about girls pretty often, but we learned later he had actually been holding out for Katie ALL that time.
So, assuming Jeff was his best friend, Ray makes him one of the groomsmen along with myself at the wedding. Jeff does a good job. He keeps telling Ray about how great Katie is, not to choke, I’m here for you etc.
The ceremony is about to begin. SUDDENLY the music stops, and the DJ says, ‘This song is from Jeff to Katie. Katie, he wants you to know he still loves you, and that it should be him’
Queue ‘It could’ve been me’ by Billy Ray Cyrus BLASTING all over the hall.
Then Jeff goes up and gets on one knee and asks Katie to dance with him and be his wife. She slaps him. Ray loses his s— and gets in a fight. Cops got called. Wedding ruined. I noped the f— back to the hotel with my SO and let them all figure it out on their own. They’re divorced now, maybe it should have been Jeff”
That Family Hates Her
“I wasn’t born yet, but it is a funny family story.
I have a very large extended family, mom has 6 brothers and 3 sisters. When Uncle C (the 4th son) got married, it was fairly obvious that most of his siblings didn’t care for his wife-to-be. The day before the wedding, Uncle C got hurt at work, sliced open his hand and needed a lot of stitches. He was given very strong pain killers.
During the ceremony, Uncle C was high on painkillers and started to feel light headed. While in the middle of saying their vows, he began to wander off stage, and my Uncle L stood up and began cheering. Uncle L then shouted, ‘Atta boy, C!’ L’s wife pulled him back into the pew and shushed him.
Later in the ceremony, Uncle C and his wife were kneeling in the church doing some prayer thing. As Uncle C was facing away from the guests, everyone could see the bottoms of his shoes.
One of my uncles had painted ‘HELP ME’ on the soles of his dress shoes”
At His Own Daughter’s Wedding, Wow
“Yeah, my cousin’s dad is a f—head. He showed up to his ex-wife’s sister’s funeral to scream at his ex-wife and daughter. He was forcibly removed from the church by the deceased’s husband and son.
So, when this guy showed up at his daughter’s wedding, you can probably guess how it went down. We were all actually super surprised how well behaved he was. Then the priest said, ‘If anyone has any reason that-‘
‘YEAH! I GOT A REASON!’
Audible groans happened. A few of my uncles got up to remove the guy from the church. He kept screaming profanities the whole time”
He Still Dreams About Throat-Punching Her
“My best friend calls me up out of the blue one day and asks me if I can travel the upcoming weekend to his place from PHX to the mountains of northern AZ. He says he finally popped the question to his Girlfriend of 5 years(and mother of his 2 kids). They are just going to have a small impromptu get together of friends and family to seal the deal. So, I drive 3 hours and show up to his huge family on his lawn. Only the bride is nowhere in sight. I find him, and he’s trying to hide the fact that he is f—ing shook up. Dig a little deeper and find out he hasn’t seen the bride in 2 days and he thinks she’s not gonna show. ‘She’s not coming,’ were his exact words. I calm him down with a couple shots of patron and assure him she just wants to make a dramatic entrance…
She never shows.
Bride’s mother shows up finally and tells my buddy, in private, that she took off to Phoenix and has been at an ex’s for the last couple days. He announces wedding’s off to the 30 or so people there and being the dope Mexican family they are, we all eat and party and piñata the f— out of the rest of the night anyway, and blame cold feet.
She doesn’t come back for 2 months. Leaves him with his painting business and the kids to take care of. Then he calls me up and says it’s back on, she needed to get some s— out of her system….
Wedding Part Two…. Objection! made by yours truly! The only thing she needed to get out of her system was her ex’s sperm. I couldn’t be there so I just talked s— to her relentlessly online. Anytime she posted anything, there I was. Reminding her that she’s the biggest s— filled person on earth for doing that to the best guy I know. They did get married, and she eventually blocked me, and their marriage lasted about 4 more months. I still have dreams about throat-punching her and having the jury say at my assault trial, ‘Not guilty. B—- had it coming.’
Seriously though violence against ladies is bad, any violence against anyone for that matter. But damn it would’ve felt good”
They Were NOT Joking
“Everyone laughed because they thought it was a joke.
But the bride to be really was already married. They sorted it out after the wedding (very loudly).
The reception and dinner were quite nice though.
Afterward, there were tears, a ton of paperwork and when she was legally divorced then they eloped to the Bahamas.
Apparently, the bride thought that no one would ‘remember’ the ‘other’ wedding. But, yes, someone did!”
What An Idiot!
“Sitting at a wedding for a cousin, suddenly at the, ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace’ part total silence happens. But the wedding does not continue. The priest is obviously waiting for something. A relative is squirming in his seat, beside me muttering that he can’t believe that he has to be the one who has to do this. I ask him what he means…
He casually explains that cousin Jerry was cheating on his bride with a girl named Heather. I ask wait, ‘Wasn’t that Heather Jerry’s girlfriend?’
He answers, ‘Yes a secret girlfriend, and couldn’t believe it’
I say, ‘No, not groom Jerry, other Jerry!’ In our family, there are 7ish Jerrys, 2 who actually called themselves Jerry, 2 who used the old countries pronunciation of their name, and the other using a combination of Jerzy, Jurri etc. And guess what… Heather was other Jerry’s girlfriend.
S—…. he actually spread this thing around to about 30 percent of the bloody congregation, and a tried to slip a hundred to the priest. Not that he took it… no, it took a couple threats about clocking a holy man for him to take the hint.
And there I was staring at this idiot.
They did not notice till after the wedding when the priest apologized for the pause, and then explained everything. They had no problems between them, so time passed quickly as they basked in the glow… they were just happy that they were getting married. And it may have been a bit more awkward for the guests as this was not a couple second pause, but more like 2-3 mins. The guy I think added an extra zero into his check so it was fine…ish
We are Polish and weddings are an investment. If we know something would bring the wedding down we mention it before the wedding, and if ignored we would bottle it up inside. A couple does not need any more stress or debt when starting a new life together.
So that’s where the extra zero comes in. See depending on closely related to the bride and groom would determine how much money you would give them. If you’re going to a friends wedding you would give like a hundred, a cousin like 2-300, uncles and close relatives can easily give to 500-1000 range. It stems with the belief that Polish weddings must serve an open bar (which can get pretty expensive) and they must be able to start a life together…aka a down payment on a house.
So they just dropped it and took his apology. Yes there was a rumor going around, but it quickly fizzled when everyone realized that he was being an idiot. So he lost some respect as well”
Who Does This???
“It happened at my wedding. Sort of.
My middle brother has a very…odd sense of humor that occasionally causes issues. One of those issues is that he likes to whip his balls out at random times and see how long it takes people to notice. The night before the wedding he told me that at some point during the ceremony he was going to cough loudly, and that would mean his sack was out. I laughed it off.
Our officiant got to the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ bit and I hear a cough from where my brother was sitting. Both my husband and I whipped around in disbelief, but the audience thought we were daring any of them to say something I guess, so they all laughed. Little did they know what was actually going down in the crowd”
This Is A Leading Question!
“Lot of laughs- My Friend’s older brother is a lawyer. He was marrying a lawyer. Most of their friends are lawyers. The officiant was a Judge who was a friend of theirs.
He and his Fiancee thought it would be funny to plant someone in the audience. They got a friend to yell, ‘I Object’ to which the judge yelled, ‘Overruled!’ It seemed to have gone over well for most but I don’t think some of their family members got it.
I am dying to see the wedding video of it and not the s—-y cellphone version”
“When I was a very young lad, I attended a wedding in which a man stood up at the point of objection and exclaimed: ‘You forgot the breadknife.’
For the next 15 years, my brother and I were convinced that it was wedding tradition to have a breadknife and forgetting it was a mortal sin.
Turns out the guy was just nuts”
He Wouldn’t Shut Up
“I had a friend object at my first wedding. He came right up to the altar, spouting off about all my shortcomings.
I and my groomsmen all leveled our guns at him, but he just. Wouldn’t. Shut. Up.
So we fired. He lay in a heap on the ground for the rest of the ceremony.
Mind you, this was all planned. It was a piratey, renaissancey wedding, and the guns were a black powder (sans the shot, of course). We all played our parts a bit too well, though… a few of the more gullible guests thought there’d been a legit murder at the wedding, at first. It was awesome”
What An Adorable Objection
“I was at a wedding, and it went like this:
Preacher: ‘Does anyone here know of any reason…’ etc.
A small child in the congregation, with perfect timing: ‘Daddy!’
Much laughter, including from the preacher”
Spoilers: It Didn’t Last
“Not really an objection story, but probably the most awkward wedding I’ve been to. Groom shows up completely smashed. He got on stage and his best man had to help hold him up straight.
At the reception, he drank even more and ended up taking the mic from the best man during the ‘best man speech’ and gave his own best man speech. He put his foot up on the table and leaned on his knee so it looked pretty ridiculous. He went on for about 5 minutes and was completely incoherent. Someone finally took the mic from him and put him back in his seat.
Very awkward. Everyone just felt really bad for the bride because she was a super sweet girl.
He gave the bride a sloppy drunken kiss after his speech and she slapped him in the face (hard) and stormed out. Everyone went home.
They had 2 kids and then got a divorce like 3 years later”
“This actually happened at my sister’s wedding. My brother-in-law’s boss decided to rock up and yell, ‘Yeah mate, I gotta speak my peace… oh sorry mate, wrong wedding!’ …. Everyone laughed except my brother-in-law who was pretty pissed”
He Yelled That?
“I was a waiter for a venue that had a lot of weddings. We typically watched the wedding ourselves from the second floor and waited for everyone to come up for the reception.
A guest for the wedding arrived a few hours early, so he sat in the restaurant and had a few too many drinks. He yelled, ‘DON’T F—ING DO IT. HE’S AN A–HOLE.’ There was the typical gasp by the crowd, then it was just silence as people from the bar (not part of the wedding, but the bar was outside on the same floor) escorted him out.
I really want to know why he did it”
“My uncle yelled out, ‘Shut the f— up Bobby,’ then everybody laughed and my cousin sat down”
I Object, Because Waffles
“Some friends of mine got married—it was the second marriage for both of them, and they had kids: 2 of hers and 3 of his, all high-school age or older. The kids had all known each other for quite a while by that time and were good friends.
The wedding was very informal and was held outdoors in a park. I think the officiant was an old friend, also.
When it got to ‘…speak now or forever hold your peace,’ the kids all got up and presented a list of ‘demands.’ They wouldn’t approve the marriage, they said unless their demands were met.
This was all a joke, of course. I’m sure the officiant was in on it, and so were some other members of the wedding party, but it came as a total surprise to the bride and groom, who took it with good humor.
I can’t remember the specific demands—they were things like Dad was not allowed to tell dad jokes; Mom was required to cook waffles for breakfast every Sunday. Probably some of them were inside jokes that I didn’t understand. Eventually, the parents agreed to the demands, and the wedding proceeded”
It’s Getting Hot In Here, So..
“My now father-in-law was in our wedding party when I married my wife. It was an outdoor wedding in August. Slightly hot, but it was a quick ceremony. When the officiate asked this question, my wife’s father started backpedaling really quick and fell over. He’s sort of a jokester, so everyone was like, ‘What the hell man?’ and my wife was pissed.
It took a moment to set in but he actually passed out. Turns out he locked his knees and with the heat just passed out.
In our wedding photo where we start the procession out after being married, you can actually see his feet in the background where EMTs had him on the ground making sure he was ok”
Did I Stutter?
“My foster brother has had a terrible stutter his whole life, and his brother and partner-in-crime would finish sentences for him when he got stuck on something on a regular basis.
Fast forward to FosterBro’s first wedding. He’s a nervous wreck. Sweating bullets at the altar. The big question is asked, and his worst nightmare comes true.
‘I duh-duh-duh-duh-duh… I duh-duh-duh…’
You could hear a pin drop in the church. Poor guy is turning purple trying to get it out.
He looks at his brother for help, just as he always has.
‘No way man, I ain’t gonna say it!’
Whole church breaks up laughing hysterically, including the (temporarily) happy couple. The priest accepts a nod from the groom and moves on to the bride once everyone regains their composure, and the rest of the day goes without a hitch”
“My mom and dad were 17 and 19 (respectively) when they got married. My mom was in the bathroom and overheard these two girls who came in saying how they were going to stand up and object and claim the one was pregnant with my dad’s kid. My mom didn’t say a word; she knew this was all crap.
So once they leave, my mom, went up to the preacher and told him to just leave that part out. She said she made sure to smile really big to those b—– as she was walking back down the aisle as my dad’s wife. My mom, the silent bada–“