Perhaps it's the fumes from the shampoo or the soft humming of a pair of clippers, but many feel quite comfortable opening up to their hairdresser about any and all aspects of their lives. But sometimes they take it a little too far, and drop some pretty insane revelations that left their stylists speechless.
Cleaning Up For Prison.
"Wife's a hairstylist. Once had someone tell her that he was getting a haircut because he was about to turn himself in 'cause he had murdered someone. She kept cutting, but excused herself at one point to tell the receptionist to call the cops. Cops came and arrested the guy. Turns out he DID actually kill someone. He's now doing life in the can."
Aw, Poor Kitty.
"A client talked about coming home after a day of shopping. She describes having some pretty severe diarrhea earlier that day, and the urge hit again. While quickly looking for her keys she hears her cat on the other side of the door meowing. Finally able to open the door, she is running with dire urgency towards the bathroom. She makes it to the toilet, does a swift 180 while pulling her pants down. This particular cat has a bad habit of drinking from the toilet and in the very moment the cat jumps up on the seat. Unable to contain her volcanic bowel pressures, she sits on her cat, forcing the cat inside the bowl. She then s—s all over her beloved cat."
Worst Time To Cry.
"For me it was the other way around. She asked me how I was so I asked her how she was out of politeness. She started crying and told me about all the problems she had with her boyfriend. Her hands were shaking so badly that she cut about 3 inches of my hair that she wasn't supposed to and as a response she let out a heart wrenching squeal and started sobbing even more. 16-year-old-me did not know how to respond and honestly, I still don't."
Therapy Gone Wrong.
"Another lady told me that she and her boyfriend were seeing a therapist to fix their relationship and the therapist actually ended up ending the relationship for the boyfriend, like the therapist gave her a break up letter and everything. It was like something out of middle school. Poor lady."
Best.Tip.Ever.
"I had a client that claimed someone kept breaking into her house at night and rearranging stuff. Not stealing anything, just rearranging stuff. She claimed this went on nightly while her husband was working. She said it as if it were a normal issue to be having. She was one of those people that after talking to her for a few minutes you knew something was not quite right upstairs. She also once tipped me with a toy horse head on a stick. It was actually a pretty decent tip. I took turns with my coworkers riding it around the parking lot after work."
Ungodly Behavior.
"Client had told me her (pastor) husband had given her an STD. Apparently he was sneaking around with a couple of the unwed young mothers that he started a support group for. She was sobbing uncontrollably and I could only hug her and tell her how sorry I was."
Beauty School Convict.
"It often happens the other way around. Back in college I went to the beauty school to be a guinea pig for $9. There was this chick that in 6 mins went from 'Hi.' to 'so that's how I ended up in jail for fraud, but I did it for my kids, you know.' Turns out she when from town to town advertising 'raffles' for a chance to win TVs, laptops, game consoles, etc. She sold a bunch of tickets to gullible people and disappeared with the money, she eventually got busted. Served her 3 or 4 year sentence and started over and enrolled in beauty school."
Is This For Real?
"I was working in the salon. This guy comes in, he wanted a whole new look. Then he lets it all out. His wife is locked up in a psych ward. She is a sociopath and has killed 4 people (tied them up and beat them to death with a baseball bat). He had snuck her a cellphone and had been contacting her to form an escape plan. He had given their 3 kids to his sister, sold their $160,000 house for $50,000 and was going that night to sneak her out. They were going straight to the airport to board a flight to Bagdad. But before they left, they were going to go to one more guy’s house and smash his truck, 'Cuz the f—-er deserves it.' He pulled out a fat stack of cash, tipped me $100 bucks, and left. We called the police immediately."
Truly Terrible.
"I had a lady who would come in and tell me all about the men she was bangin while her husband was deployed in Afghanistan. It made me uncomfortable to say the least, I drew the line when she sent her husband in to get his hair cut when he came back. I quit a week later."
As Long As She’s Happy.
"Opposite way. I work as a behaviorist for the emotionally disturbed and I had a hair stylist who was nutty. She would take about an hour and a half to cut my hair (I am a guy) all the while rambling about how the government was reading her thoughts and had a satellite that could target individuals and give them heart attacks. She did a great job though. I tried to gently challenge her perceptions, but she wasn't susceptible and it seemed like she was still having a good life."
Talk About Scandalous.
"I have a married couple. He tells me all the prostitutes he sleeps with and she tells me she's sleeping with the neighbors son across the street. I've been doing hair for close to 10 years. I've heard some s–t."
Ummm…Awkward.
"An opposite response. I once went to get a haircut on my girlfriend's birthday, just so I looked nice when I went to see her. Sat down and he asked how I wanted my hair, I said a lowfade. As he started I gave the usual 'so whats up with you,' he proceeded to tell me how earlier that day he got the call that his brother had been shot down in Jamaica after a shootout with the police… yeah. I ended up with a skin fade instead of a lowfade and a reaaaaaaaaaaaallly awkward 45 minute haircut."
ALIENS!!!
"Barber. I did have one crazy customer. He was obsessed with this Illuminati bulls–t. Reptilians, the apocalypse. Guy was a well paid drug rep for a big company, but the amount of stupidity that came out of his mouth still boggles my mind. He stopped coming because the shop owner was really religious, and they got into an argument because according to him Christmas trees are a phallic symbol and Santa Claus is actually Satan."