When Your Date Night Doesn’t Go As Planned But It Somehow Doesn’t Matter
“Are you doing something that sucks and she’s still here? Like you took her on a date that bombed, like the theater was closed so you had to drive across town to another theater and then had to wait an hour for the movie you planned to see, so you missed the open times for the restaurant you planned and had to get weird 24 hour diner food and she is STILL here with you smiling and looking at you happily and talking?
That means she’s interested.”
When She Does Everything To Make You Know She’s Around
“I text you back every time on time.
Touch. I need to touch your arm.
Making eye contact from the across the room. A lot.
Smiling. Lots and lots of smiling. Like for no reason.”
A Well-Placed Head On The Shoulder Works…And Can Make A Cute Moment!
“I found out he got that RARE game bundle on Xbox. I told to him that Banjo and Kazooie was one of my favorite childhood games (my N64 cartridge was also corrupted so I couldn’t play it anymore). So I kept asking to come over after work (and apologize a lot for wanting to hang out) and play it with him, I’d sit right beside him almost very cuddly.
He wasn’t really taking the hint, I think it was because we had been friends since grade 8 so he didn’t really think much of it, but he thought it was weird that I kept asking and then apologizing to hang out so much. One day I asked him if he wanted to go to the amusement park with me because I got free tickets, he said ‘sure’ and thought nothing of it. Later that night I complain that I’m uncomfortable with my sitting position, to which he replies with ‘Then find something comfortable I guess.’ I said ‘Okay’ and landed my head on his shoulder.
That’s when everything clicked in his head.”
Passive Aggressive Insults Are Really Huge Compliments To You, Dude
“When a girl says, ‘Oh, you’re a player aren’t you?’ its similar to when they say stuff like, ‘Oh, you want me to go home with you? You sure you don’t have other girls there already?’
It’s the female approach to giving a man a compliment: passive aggressively and couched as an insult. Shes letting you know you have desirable qualities.
When girls say this type of nonsense to you, never confirm or deny it.”
Some “Signs” Can Also Be Signs She DOESN’T Like You
“If she is either making a lot of eye contact or avoiding eye contact, she likes you or hates you or neither. Keep your eyes on the prize (or don’t)!
Watch for her speech patterns. If she chats you up a lot, she likes you or is just friendly. If she shies away from talking to you, she likes you or maybe doesn’t.
Get that text game going, gentleman! A frequent responder definitely might be interested in you or is just talkative! But a girl who doesn’t respond much still might be interested or maybe not though.
Caught her staring? Well, I’ve got news for you! She definitely has some sort of feeling about you. Typically it’s either interest or disinterest, or just thinks you are so ugly that it’s intriguing.”
When She Asks For A Kiss, Give Her One! Or Else It Might Play Out Like This
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“Back in school, I was watching The Mummy Returns with a beautiful girl, a year or two older than me, that I had a big crush on. Brendan Fraser was kissing Rachel Weisz on screen, and she said to me, ‘Whenever there’s a kiss in a film I always wish I had someone to kiss me.’ Wow, I thought. That’s so hot. I’d love to be the guy she wanted to kiss. Later on Fraser and Weisz get smoochy again, and she repeats, ‘I wish I had someone to kiss me. Don’t you, Patrick?’ I said, ‘Yeah, I do,’ and went back to watching the terrible, terrible film.
It occurred to me an absurdly long time later that she meant for me to kiss her, and wasn’t just idly commenting. To this day I am so angry with myself that I just punched my leg in rage.”
Creepy Vibes May Only Be Okay For Girls To Try On You
“Basically when she starts doing all the things she says is creepy when guys do them to her”
Introverts Do Things Differently…
“If we talk to you a lot but don’t really have a lot to say
If you are interested I highly recommend researching info on ‘love languages.’ Knowing about the different types really helps to be able to notice more the way different people show that they care. Everyone is different and sometimes it’s hard to notice when people are using a different love language than you. What I described above might be known as the language of ‘quality time.’ As an introvert with pretty low self-esteem, it’s not easy for me to put myself out there and initiate and maintain interaction with anyone, so any time intentionally spent with someone might mean more to me than it would to you.”
When A Girl Is Persistant, It Means Something!
“In my experience, it’s not that guys actually miss the signs. It’s that they haven’t learned to embrace the fact that the signs are intentionally ambiguous.
Perhaps an anecdote would be illustrative here.
I recently went with one of my close friends to stay at her boyfriend’s place for a long weekend. The day after we got there, one of his local friends came by for drinks and games. This friend had met me once before, briefly, and had told my friend’s boyfriend that he thought I was very attractive and that he intended to hit on me as soon as he got the chance. However, as the afternoon wore on, I didn’t see any behavior on his part that could be classified as “hitting on,” even if interpreted very generously. I’ve had my fair share of experience with shy and insecure guys and I figured he needed encouragement. I:
dialed up my casual touching
leaned in towards him
dialed up my eye contact
laughed at all his jokes
complimented him enthusiastically on his tabletop game skills
glanced at him for his reaction when someone else said something funny
played a little footsie with him, under a glass table, no less
All very standard so far, and, other than the footsie, could be mistaken for friendliness. Sure. Then we moved from the table to the couch.
swung my legs up onto his lap
took my tights off and put my legs back on his lap, under a blanket
took off my overlarge sweater-dress to reveal what was essentially a red v-neck slip – I was seriously slutting it up, way outside my usual comfort zone
asked if it was okay if I cuddled up to him while we continued our game, resulting in various cuddly configurations, including, IIRC, me sitting between his legs and leaning back against his chest
He wasn’t reacting negatively. But he would only go as far as I had gone, no further. So when I nudged his foot under the table he nudged it back, when I put my legs on his lap he put his hands on them, when I asked to cuddle up to him he held me, but he didn’t at any time up the ante himself. I kept waiting to get, you know, hit on, but it never happened.
Then after he left, he texted my friend’s boyfriend saying he was bummed that things didn’t seem to be going anywhere with me. He said I hadn’t seemed receptive to his advances! I was flabbergasted. What advances? Stroking my bare legs under a blanket does not count as an advance when I am the one who put them there seeking exactly that reaction! I went to bed extremely sexually frustrated, fuming and swearing about men being hopeless.
We managed to figure things out the following evening and we did hook up in the end, which is why I know he chalked up all my attempts to move things forward as me being a touchy-feely drunk.
I never would have draped myself over him if I hadn’t known ahead of time that he was into me; I would’ve felt frozen out by around the fourth bullet point, waiting for him to do something, anything, to let me know my advances were not just acceptable but actually reciprocated.
The point I’d love to get across here is that the first round of signals are always going to be things like “laughing at your jokes” and “making eye contact.” There’s not enough information there to conclude 100% that the girl is into you romantically, and that’s on purpose, because if she’s actually flirting, she’s going to want positive feedback from you before she escalates. So, if she’s making eye contact, you don’t respond by asking her back to your place: you make eye contact back and see how that goes. And then you one-up her somehow, like with casual touch, or leaning closer to her, or something. It’s not a code you need a cheat-sheet for, it’s a conversation, or at least it’s supposed to be. Letting the other person do all the talking is rude. And letting the other person do all the talking and then complaining afterward you’re not sure what they meant is stupid. You are perfectly capable of asking questions!
Whenever I read these threads and girls list off the kinds of things they do when they’re flirting, the responses are always something like ‘girls do this stuff all the time and it doesn’t always mean something – how can I be sure that she’s really into me?’ You can’t be sure. But you know what? She can’t be sure that you’re into her, either! I was lucky that I happened to know he was into me, but usually I don’t know that and I give up much earlier and nobody gets laid! The whole point of flirting is that you aren’t putting all your cards on the table right away. So if you think someone’s flirting with you, the only logical thing to do is FLIRT BACK.”
When She Finds Any Excuse To Go To Your Place: “I’d Like To Try Out Your Bed”
“Reminds me of a conversation I had with the man that’s now my husband.
Him: I bought a new bed, it’s great, my back hasn’t been this good in years!
Me: Maybe I could come over and try it, mine is horrible.
Him: You should really just get a new one, choosing the right mattress for you is very important. They can help you in any bed store.
He was interested, just oblivious. Best thing is that if other women flirts with him, he doesn’t realize…”
When She Makes It A Point To Be More ‘Revealing’
Once went on a nice 2 or 3 mile run with a girl. She dropped me off at my house and we agreed to meet up at her house when I got done with my shower, told me her backdoor would be unlocked and I could come in. After my shower I drove up, went through her back door and into her room and chilled on her bed to mess around on my phone. After like 20 minutes she comes out in a towel and says, “Some reason I kept thinking you were going to come get in the shower with me, my door was unlocked.” I just looked at her and said, “Naw.” Then she looked down at herself in a towel, picked up some clothes out of her closet and walked out angrily. I had the biggest crush on that girl for like 3 years prior and blew my chance. Gotta love high school.
When She Seems To Always “Forget” Something
“If a girl says she wants to come over to do some laundry because her washer and dryer are both broken, and then comes over and ‘forgets’ to bring her laundry basket, it’s because she’s just forgetful. Definitely show her your guinea pig and try to do some calculus with her, so at least something productive can get done.”
Sometimes, She Will Literally Spell It Out For You
“The woman I married (but later divorced) asked me out by saying “I think you’re smart and funny and attractive and stuff and I want to mess around with you and be your girlfriend and stuff” I would never have guessed otherwise.”
When She Asks You To Help Change Clothes It’s A GIANT Clue
“Well, when I was in high school a bunch of us went swimming at a local park. While there a girl kept messing with me, splashing me etc. Later we went to a friend’s house and I grabbed my clothes to change in a bedroom. That girl wanted to ‘help me change my clothes.’ I told her that I was totally capable of changing my own clothes! Can anyone here ‘out-naive’ that?”
Pay Attention To Social Media Clues
“She touches her hair when you talk to her
She find excuses to be with you (school project, next to each other at bus)
She laughs at your jokes
She tells you emotional stories that happened to her, and only a few people know
She texts you good morning, and you are the person she texts constantly
She likes all your stuff on Facebook, even the article you shared”
Sometimes She Will Just Straight Up Say It!
“TELL THEM!
Most men are mechanical in logic, if you do something they will think you did it for the most immediate reason possible.
When it comes to flirting, girls are playing chess, while men are playing bingo.”
When She Takes Stuff That Belongs To You
“I had a huge collection of hats and this girl would take them so that I would have to come back.
Them she said she would trade me for a kiss. I just went home and got another hat.
She eventually got her kiss and I never got my hats. We’re going to get married in a couple weeks.
Still no word on the hats”
This Close Talker Is A Flirter
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“Personally, I stand a lot closer. Like, really close.
Also I seek you out more often to talk. Did I come over to ask what you’re doing for the 20th time today? I’ve got a crush.”
If She Knowingly Leaves You In Her Room While Dressing…
“Just so everyone knows… if a girl is going to change into her cheerleader uniform and asks you to turn around so you don’t see her changing, knowing full well there’s a mirror the way you’ll be looking… you should probably not instantly leave the house.
It’s a sign.
And I cried myself to sleep for a long time because of it.”
When She Wants To Play A Social Game, But Just With You And Her
“When you’re 15 and you tell your really, really cute neighbor that you’re bored and she suggests you could try playing Spin the Bottle, do not reply with: “Nah, that takes more than two people.”
I was in my 20’s before what she meant finally clicked for me!”