These people recall the most horrendous weddings they've been too!
This Bride Wanted One Friend To Cook For The Entire Wedding
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“Got asked to stand up for a wedding during culinary school for a high school friend. She said she didn’t want us to buy presents, but wanted us to help with various wedding things since it was a backyard wedding, like someone help with the flowers, another do favors, table setting, etc. She wanted to know if I could help with dinner. I said sure, and asked her what she wanted help with, figuring it was prep work for someone else to do.
No, she wanted me to handle the whole dinner. As in cooking for 200 people, as a 19 year old having only done a year culinary school. She also wanted me to help pay for the food I’d be making, as their gift. She wanted me to make caesar salad, potatoes au gratin, and roast enough ducks for 200, by myself, and pay for about half of it.
I was learning how to be a pastry chef. I explained and she just stared at me blankly. I told her I could do the cake easily enough, but she insisted she wanted a ‘real’ cake, from a bakery.
I told her there wasn’t any feasible way I could do it, not only because that’s freaking crazy, but because I literally wasn’t trained to do it, and I got disinvited from the wedding.
They apparently served bagged salad, boxed potatoes and broasted chicken from Walmart.”
A Literal ‘Groomsman’
“The groom asked me to ‘keep an eye’ on his tux for signs of dandruff (he had a bad case of it at the time).
I told him to choose a light-colored tux, but the bride insisted the guys wear black – a color that, of course, showed every particle of dandruff.
So I placed a small brush in my pocket, and every so often would ‘dust him off’ as discreetly as possible throughout the day.”
Maid Of Honor Does Not Equal Gardener
“I was the maid of honor. She demanded I come pull weeds out of her parents yard a day or two before the wedding because the reception was at her parents house. I had already gone though multiple ridiculous requests the week leading up to the wedding, so this one I put my foot down and said no. Got through the wedding. No longer friends. She did send a gift when I got married. A center piece from HER wedding, that I had helped make.”
Marriage 1 – Hawaii, Marriage 2 – Paris, Marriage 3 – NO!
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“My father is one of 8, and has four sisters. My grandfather, who worked hard all his life and has been retired and living on his pension for 20 years now, paid for the weddings of each of his girls. My aunt flipped her stuff when he said he couldn’t pay for her third marriage (to a guy she’d known for 6 months) if she wanted an island wedding. He was cool with paying for a small wedding in their hometown, but that he simply couldn’t afford to give her the all-inclusive “dream wedding” she wanted. By the way, she’s divorced from millionaires and has plenty of cash, but feels her 90-year-old father should pay for a 300-person wedding in the Bahamas so she can afford a beach house.
He offered to fund a honey-moon to the Bahamas and a modest wedding at home. Mind you, she married in hawaii the first time and honeymooned in Paris the second, he paid for both. Everyone else got married in the hometown church. Anyway, she responded to that offer by calling him a stingy old asshole and saying that she was glad my grandmother died young, so she didn’t have to see her husband become a ‘greedy loser’.
So finally, with the support of the rest of the family, my grandfather told her to screw off and pay for her own wedding.
This all went down about 5 years ago, and the aunt hasn’t contacted anyone but my other aunt since. Apparently she divorced the third husband and “retired”, at the age of 45, to a condo in florida. She’s living off the settlements from the divorces.”
Your Bridesmaids Are Not Cleaning Staff…
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“My husband & I were just in a wedding where the bridal party was asked to ‘stay until the end and help clean up.’ Now, I’ve stayed late at weddings before and done this. Generally it means help get all the gifts to the car, make sure the centerpieces and decorations get packed up and put away, and check that nobody left anything behind. That’s totally fine, and usually expected of the bridal party. HOWEVER. At the end of the night when the lights came on and mostly everyone left, we noticed that there were plates still left on the tables, glasses half filled with liquid everywhere, all the napkins and stuff still strewn about. Then this lone janitor from the venue comes out and goes ‘So, who’s cleaning up?’ … Apparently in their contract with this modest venue, the bride and groom, (who have by now left the building for their hotel room) agreed to have the entire place cleaned up by the bridal party. Including: loading up all the dirty dishes into dish washing racks, removing all the linens, folding up and storing all the chairs and tables, removing all the trash, and sweeping up the floor. No one knew that ‘help clean up after the wedding’ was to this extent, not even the couple’s parents! Oh, and some of the bridesmaids had left already. So….Yes, we stayed and helped clean up. There are a variety of reasons, but the main one being that even though it was a mean thing our friends did to us, it doesn’t mean that we should have passed the buck and made a cruddy situation for someone else to deal with. If we all didn’t stay to clean up, this one janitor, the only person from the venue around, would have had to do it all, and that’s incredibly not fair to him. I’m not going to get into specifics, but the venue was not an all inclusive place. Nobody would have come out to help him, and it’s not like he could have just called up a cleaning crew at 11:30pm to come and do it and just bill the couple afterwards. I think that in the end, it was a case of extreme misunderstanding between the bride and groom and the bridal party. Yes, they 100% should have been clear about what ‘cleaning up afterwards’ meant for us, but at the same time, I’m willing to believe that it is possible that they didn’t know exactly what it meant either. Not that that excuses them in any way, but being that they did everything for the wedding themselves, they could have easily overlooked how things were going to get cleaned up at the end of the night.”
A Bride And Groom Want To Do EVERYTHING Themselves
“My friends didn’t want to do the bridesmaid/groomsmen thing for their wedding. They also wanted to keep the entire night low-key and relaxed.
I was asked to ‘DJ’, and they just entailed playing three playlists at the right time (Before dinner, during dinner, after dinner) and turning the volume down during speeches. I’ve run a million events, and MCed a bunch too, so this was a cake walk and I hit every cue.
But my friends are kind of particular and micromanages. Not in a mean way, but they just want to do it all themselves so they can ensure it will work right.
I had to MAKE my buddy go sit down at his table and stop trying to turn it down himself. Towards the end of the speeches, I would see him get up from across the room to walk towards me, and I would just point at him to make him sit back down.
The bride insisted on both doing her own flowers, assembling all the decorations, and setting up the venue the morning before the wedding. The wedding was beautiful, awesome, and tone-perfect for what they wanted, and I love those two to death, but they some serious delegation issues.”
Wedding Vs. Graduation
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One of my friends insisted I drive all over near the venue where she was planning to have her wedding looking at reception venues. Her wedding venue was to be a renfair and they had a private area for receptions, but she felt it was too expensive what with how much they wanted for drinks and food. No outside food allowed. Eventually settled on a VFW hall which didn’t look that great but she was sure we could make it great with decorations. Then showed me pages of paper castles and balloon arches. Assured me it was all gonna be her dream wedding.
Three months before the date they had reserved the renfair venue and the VFW hall for I see pictures on facebook of her dream winter wonderland elopement. Text her and a nearly month later finally tells me they’re definitely still having a wedding back home that elopement wedding was ‘a private fantasy just for the two of them”.
Two location changes and two date changes later the wedding ended up almost two months after the original renfair wedding date and the night after my kid’s high school graduation. And she needs all her bridesmaids to plan to spend the week leading up to the wedding with her helping her get everything ready since it is all going to be DIY. I explain I must be home that one night for the graduation and she assures me it is fine. I remind her when I arrive for this week long preparation for the wedding and she and the other bridesmaids assure me it is handled.
She called me in the middle of my kid’s graduation wanting to know why I wasn’t there to help decorate the VFW hall. I can hear three bridesmaids reminding her I am at my kid’s graduation and will be back early the next morning.
They had a very messy divorce four or five years later with highlights including her posting to facebook two weeks after the separation she’d found the love of her life, they were making it facebook official, and highlighted by her posting a meme about how marriage is forever. This time I didn’t participate in the wedding. I saw the pictures on facebook. They eloped to Las Vegas to get married in a wedding chapel. She wore a petticoat as a skirt for it.
How Can You Expect Them To Do Everything?
“My friend was set to get married in November of 2016. He got engaged in October of 2015.
From the time he got engaged until April 2016 he continued to add things on to my to-do list for the wedding. It seemed like once a month he’d say, ‘By the way, I need you to do this and buy this for the wedding.”‘ My wife was also a bridesmaid. The bride had picked out very expensive outfits for the bridesmaids. $300 dresses, $150 shoes, and $75 costume jewelry. There was also a weekend at the beach planned for the summer and my wife was responsible for the food at the bride’s shower. I still have no idea what they meant by ‘being in charge of food,’ as no matter how much we asked they acted offended. Does that mean provide food? Organize food? What kind of food was expected for the 40 people who were expected to come? No answers were given.
In March 2016 my friend had pneumonia and was hospitalized. In total, he was down with it for about three weeks. During that time the wife and I talked about the wedding and totalled up how much it would cost us. We ended up with a figure of about $1,500 for a wedding an hour away from where we live, which we thought was absurd. The wife and I both worked, but didn’t make enough money to drop that much on someone else’s wedding.
So when my friend healed up, I went by his house and told him the wife was going to drop out as a bridesmaid as the cost had risen too high. We were also upset with how they had been treating us as friends. He was initially surprised, but then we continued talking. The next day, after getting an earful from the fiance I’m sure, he called me and told me I was out as the best man and to never speak to him again.”
$3,000, And A Timeless, Ridiculous Letter From The Maids Of Honor
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My roommate in college was a bridesmaid and nearly quit because of how insane the co-Maids of Honor were. Six months ahead of the wedding they sent a four page email detailing how the bridesmaids were to dress for each event. I’m not talking dress code I mean it was, “For arrival from the airport to the hotel please wear light, pastel colors (remember no white!) and dark jeans with close toed shoes(but no black). We know we’re in Florida but theres no need to wear flip flops unless we are on the beach. Hair down (no pony tails or braids) but not curled as the bride will have her hair curled.” They went that detailed for every outing from the bridal shower, wedding shower, 4 day bachelorette trip, honeyfund party to the actual wedding. My friend spent nearly $3000 buying all of the outfits for the various parties, not even counting the bridesmaids dresses.
Wow, so holy cow since so many people responded I reached out to my roommate and she found the email. Here it is with names changed. It’s just as bad I remembered:
Hello fellow gorgeous ladies of Kikis wedding!
I hope you are enjoying the summer thus far and are sitting down relaxing and sipping on lemonade while reading this because it is going to be a bit of a novel. LOL Leah and I have been in constant contact, discussing ideas and such. We have also met to purchase some things and organize and plan more for upcoming events! We want to keep you posted and see what your thoughts are as well as also getting things sailing ; ) because before you know it, it’ll be here.
Double greenback shower-Sunday,September 21, – Golf Course Carrie and Auntie Penelope have taken care of it all. They appreciate many of you offering to help, but as of now they are have it all done. kiki would like us all to be in the fall color scheme because she is having a photographer to take photos. However, she does not want anyone to go out and purchase a dress specifically for the double greenback. If you can make it work, great, if not, wear what you have/like. See you all there soon!
Bridal Shower- Sunday, June 14, -Waterman Grille SHHHHH! The location and specifics are a SURPRISE, Kiki only wished to know the date! In keeping with the nautical theme, this venue is by the Providence waterfront and she loves this venue. It was her #1 place for a shower so we’re glad to be able to make this happen for her by having her shower on the lower patio. Her mother, Carrie, has been gracious enough to cover the room rental fee, favors, centerpieces, and cupcakes. (The cupcakes will serve in place of a shower cake) Us girls will be taking care of the entrees, bar fee, and invitations. The $300 we have asked you for will be put towards these expenses. Leah and I have also decided to create a honeymoon gift for them. We have purchased an anchor box and items to fill it such as: swim trunks, bathing suit coverup, flip flops, J. Crew anchor towels, and we want to purchase something fun for their honeymoon once they have decided where it will be! leah and I will be taking care of the cost of this but it will be a gift from all of the bridesmaids/maids of honor.If you would like to purchase something to add to it, please feel free, but it isn’t requested. Kiki has mentioned that she would like us to coordinate with the shower color scheme, but she doesn’t know what it is because of it being a secret. If you could, please wear tiffany blue, navy, or navy and white combo. We would like you all to take part in the gift opening process by assisting us with passing gifts, moving them to another table, gathering the wrappings, writing the gifts down, making a ribbon bouquet (that she’d love to have her aunt make), etc. We also have some games in mind but would like your input for other games as well. This can be planned out when the bridal party meets to regroup sometime before the shower. Kiki,Leah, and I have already purchased the gifts that will be distributed as prizes to the game winners.
Bachelorette Party Weekend-Labor Day weekend 2015-, Florida This is going to be a great three day weekend with amazing ladies, all of you, to celebrate Kiki before she sets her anchor. This too is a SHHHHHH SURPRISE! Leah and I will be forwarding you an itinerary as it approaches with more specific information. Our plans stem from Friday night to Monday morning.
How’s that lemonade? Empty yet? LOL Leah and I have also looked into hotels by and on the boulevard. We have estimated roughly $225 per person for the three nights for two rooms (with double beds and a pull out couch) and 5 girls in each room (also covering Kiki’s share). Both of her parents will be staying with her aunt in Ft. Lauderdale. Kiki has heard from her aunt in FL that there is a brand new hotel with a large anchor on the front of exterior and will be looking into this hotel.
I hope you have found this information more helpful than overwhelming. LOL Leah and I are here if you have any questions, suggestions, comments, etc. We are thrilled to be part of Kiki’s special events! Looking forward to seeing all you lovely ladies in a few weeks!
Enthusiastic Maids of Honors, Meghan and Leah”
The Revenge Of The Beard
Years ago, my brother was best man in a wedding. He wore a beard at the time. For months prior to the wedding, the bride pestered him about his beard. She wanted him to be clean shaven for the wedding. So, after many moons, he gave in and promised that he’d shave before the wedding.
Night before the wedding he shaved it into a fu manchu.
Stay Out Of My Pictures Please
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“At my cousin’s wedding, the bride’s brother’s girlfriend was a bridesmaid. The rest of the bridal party were either close friends or family.
During the wedding pictures she made us take two of every one: one with the girlfriend and another exactly the same, except without the girlfriend. Bride was throwing a fit about it. She didn’t want to look at the pictures years down the road in the case that they broke up.
Yeah, I’m sure we’d all collectively forget the girlfriend was even there.
The girlfriend played along, but everyone could tell she felt really upset about it.”
A Ham-Fisted Bit Of Revenge
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Typical not my story but someone else’s (although I have been bridesmaid/maid of honor seven times in the last three years, luckily my friends were all very considerate).
Anyway, when my parents were first married they were invited to the wedding of one of my mom’s close friends. My mom was asked to be a bridesmaid. The groom didn’t have a lot of close friends that could come for the wedding and since he knew my dad pretty well he asked my dad to be a groomsmen. My dad was told by the groom that the suit would be paid for, so he just had to grab it from the store, and then show up and escort my mom at the wedding.
My dad gets to the store to pick up the suit and he was told that he still needed to pay for it. The suit was fairly expensive and my parents were living paycheck to paycheck at that point, so he was reasonably miffed because the only reason he agreed to be a groomsmen was because he was told that he wouldn’t have to pay for anything.
On the wedding day my dad stood by the groom as a groomsmen, but at some point in the reception he slipped away. He snuck out to the groom’s car and put ham slices under the windshield wipers. It was raining so when the bride and groom left for their honeymoon they turned on the windshield wipers… and smeared ham all over the windshield.
To this day my dad says that it was worth it to have to pay for that suit to see the look on the grooms face when the ham coated the windshield.
They Put Orange Cards Underneath Every Seat Telling The Guests To Do Crazy Things!
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“So many of the responses here are about crazy people and terrible weddings, ill throw a happy one into the mix.
some context: the groom is my brother, and the best man is a mutual friend of ours we have known since we were both about 5. after the brief ceremony, we would move into the dining room where there would be some speeches, eating, and of course, much drinking.
one of the best man’s tasks in the wedding preparation was to place an orange card underneath each persons assigned seat. each one of these cards had a customized ‘task’ for that person to do. for the old folks it was things like ‘say hello to three people from the other side of the family’ or ‘dance with one of the younger kids for a song’.
for the rest of us though, hilarity.
my father’s card was to always be the last one to stop clapping after a speech. there were about three other cards with the same instructions.
one of the other groomsman’s was to catch the bouquet (he did).
another favorite was to take a selfie/photobomb on as many other peoples phones/cameras as possible. in almost every picture from that wedding you can see him in the background wearing the stupidest grin on his face.
my brothers simply read: ‘CONSTANT VIGILANCE!’
and now we get to mine. i had to steal my brother’s shoe, off of his foot, before the end of dinner. so i quietly asked his new wife if she would assist. she told me it was my burden to bare, and she would take no action against her husband (freaking loyalty). so i hatched a plan. i talked to some older relatives of my new sister in law and convinced them to take part in my plan. they walked up to my bro and greeted them warmly and stuck up a conversation.
(i should note that at this point my bro and his wife were sitting down at a small table in the front of the room and next to a small hallway. so in order to get to the food treys you had to walk past them.)
the time was neigh. i struck, like the drunken happy super ninja that i was. I ran and jumped into a secret agent style slide for about 10 feet, came to a stop about three freet from my bro. then i awkwardly kinda shimmied along the ground untill i got close to his foot. then, I grabbed just above his knee, and lifted his leg up, slid off his shoe and ran. hid the shoe under the wedding registry.
it took him like, an hour to find it, mostly because i kept giving him vague riddles instead of telling him where it was. ‘beneath the well wishing’ and ‘at the place of first greetings’ were the two i remember. Don’t judge my stupid riddles, i was a bit drunk at the time
my brother and his wife, as well as the many others who saw this, thought it was the funniest thing they have ever seen. i am inclined to agree.
it was great fun, 11/10 best wedding ever.
Here are some of the other orange cards:
‘Try and high five everyone you meet. when they go in for it, juke them and say ‘too slow!”. after about an hour, this guy was running away from a group of angry children who eventually held him down, and repeatedly hi fived his trapped hand.
‘Try and steal as much silverware as you can. you must keep it on you.’ (it was heavily implied to not Actually steal the silverware, just take it off the tables). eventually the girl who got this one was carrying around a very heavy and noisy handbag.
‘Constantly swap sunglasses. You must wear a pair at all times.” I still have someone else’s pair of knock off ray bands. I treasure them dearly.
‘When shaking hands, don’t let go’ there were a few of these as well, and when two of these card bearers met, they ended up just holding hands for about an hour.
And thats all that i can remember off the top of my head!
I will note that some of these only worked because it was a fairly small gathering, about 150 people all told. most of them were close friends or extended family, so we all got on very well.
I will also add that the groomsman and i did also steal my brothers wife at one point after the ceremony, and forced him to “ride after her” (on a pony stick thing) and sing her a love song to earn her back. It was awesome.”