And you thought you got made fun of growing up...you have no idea what these kids went through...But in all seriousness, these names are absolutely hilarious.
Do you ever search the phone book looking for the funniest name out there? No? Yeah, us neither, but this 12 year old found quite the entertainment with it. Between the Smith’s and the Johnson’s, this boy dug up pure gold and boy are we glad he did. But the real question here is, how does a 12 year old boy know about that?! “There was a guy in my local phone book with the name, Fondel Balls. 12 year old me found that hilarious” Source
When you’re younger, you have aspirations of being so many cool things when you grow up. Many people often dream of being a police officer or an astronaut, but not this guy. Nope, he wanted to deal with food. What did this guy want to be? Given his name, it’s only fitting his job title includes feeding the poor. “CEO of Food for the Poor is called Robin Mahfood” Source
This Kid Was Definitely Bullied
When you meet people with odd names, you often think what in the world the parents were thinking when they chose their child’s name. Well, it was definitely crystal clear that this mom was a little out of it when she signed the birth certificate. “Crystal Dick. No joke” Source
A Never Ending Joke
Criss cross applesauce, oh wait no…sit down. We were teaching you to cross your legs son, not calling your name. Now this is awkward… “I live with a Chris Cross. The jokes never cease” Source
A Case Of A Bad Country Accent
You know those dang country accents you have to twist your head and listen real close to in order to even try and decipher what the person is saying? Yeah, this poor, poor boy definitely got the rough end of the stick when it came to livin’ down south where the country accents run thick. “Ethan Cox. Where I’m from people pronounce Ethan as – Eatin” Source
There’s No Coming Back From that
“My mom went to high school with a girl named Monica Wilfart. When your last name sucks by itself there is no first name that can help.” And you thought you were made fun of in elementary school…this poor girl never had a chance. Let’s hope she marries a nice young man Source
Do you ever look at someone and your mind just immediately jumps to a familiar object or person. Yeah, there’s only one thing we can think of when hearing this guy’s name, and we’re definitely not talking about Brad Pitt here either. We’re thinking more along the lines of nasty green vegetables. Gross! “There was a guy in my secondary school by the name of Russell Sprout. He changed his name.” We would too Russell, we would too Source
Now That’s Just Cruel
“David D. Davidson. The D. is for David.” Either these parents were a little out of their mind when choosing a name for their son or they were just cruel, cruel human beings. At least no one will ever forget his name. Maybe that was his parents’ goal in the first place Source
“Knew a guy in my university dorm that was named Si Mai Wang. Pronounced exactly as you think.” Oh poor Si Mai. If only he was able to choose an American name to help him get over this awful embarrassment Source
Someone Needs A New Job
“My Pastor’s last name is Bator. So naturally we call him Pastor Bator.” No, no, no, don’t worry it’s not what you’re thinking Source
A Mouth Full Of Jibberish
“There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.” Have trouble pronouncing this name? Yeah, us too. If only his name was as simple as Joe Smith. The world would be a much easier place for this kid Source
Five Times Fast
“I dated a guy named Ryan Scott Wood. It doesn’t seem that funny until you say it fast.” Girl, we don’t blame you for ending that relationship. Surely, that got real old every time you tried to say his name. And not to mention, that could get real exhausting Source
“I used to know someone named Alex Man who had a father named Dick Man…sounds like some lazily-written superhero porno.” If you ever had to feel bad for someone and their name…yeah this guy definitely wins the biggest trophy. Dick Man is here to save the day Source
It Happens All The Time
“I used to work at a call center, calling out to clients. I worked at a bank, so all names were legit.
The system was automated, so the client would pick up the phone before the name would appear, so I would start my pitch before I would use the name, then it would popup and I would go from there.
This one time, I was talking, and then the name came up…I paused for a few seconds, and then said “Could I speak to Rim Jobber”
The client paused, like she’s heard it all before, and said, “Yes, that’s me” Source
A Strange Strange Place
“Porsche Chevrolet Jackson.
I also live across the hall from a Tommy Lee Jones. Not “Thomas Lee Jones”, “Tommy Lee Jones.”
The military is a strange place” A very, very strange place indeed sir Source
It’s Goin’ Down, I’m Yellin’…
“I was at school with a guy called Tim Burr.” Maybe this is where Pitbull got his idea for his song…or then again…maybe his parents were just the biggest jerks Source
Coulda Fooled Us…
“I went to school (college) with a girl named “Anita Dick.” She entered a pageant that my fraternity put on. She was the only contestant announced by her first, MIDDLE, and last name. The crowds were not fooled.” Anita needs to meet a nice guy real soon. This poor girl is in need of a new last name ASAP Source
“I was in a waiting room one day with my husband. It’s full of people and the nurse comes out to call the next patients name. She calls, at full volume, “Anita Boner.” My husband looked up and locked eyes with the guy sitting across from him and they both just started snickering” Source
You’re A Wizard
“I know a lad called Harry Potter, he gets ribbed about it constantly.” Maybe he’s trying to tell you something…it’s time to go to Hogwarts. Then again, his parents were probably just really, really fond of the Harry Potter movies. Have you checked for a lightening bolt scar yet Source
He Shoots, He Scores
“My peewee soccer coach was named Tai Mei Shu.” Please coach, tie my shoe. I can’t do it yet Source
What do you get when you get an unexpected birth at a musical festival in the 70s? You get parents who do this to their poor, innocent child. “I once knew a guy called Les Bain” Source
What A Gem
“I am an elementary school teacher so I come across quite a few gems…the worst, we have a girl at our school named Country. Still being young her friends innocently shorten it to the first syllable when calling to her on the playground. I will feel so sorry for her when it finally dawns on her that her friends have been calling her “c—” for years!
Also, my mom went to high school with a guy named Richard Pett, he went by Dick” Source
Taking Pride In Your Name
“Me. I’m Japanese and my name is ?? (pronounced “Tomokazu”). During my earlier years I’d always get teased by being called “homo” or even worse, “homogayzu”. Don’t get me wrong, I love my name, my heritage and my culture, but having a name like that in a western society can be cruel at times.
If anyone’s wondering my name means “Friends and peace” in Japanese.
EDIT: Haha, it doesn’t bother me now guys. Back then, sure but now I embrace my Japanese heritage. If anyone’s still confused, anyone who’s not Japanese pronounced my name as “Tow-moe-car-zu”, The first part, “Tow-moe” rhymes with “Homo”. Slip in a “gay” for the “kar” and add a “zu” at the end and you get “Homogayzu”. I admit it’s pretty funny and catchy though, besides I don’t think anyone had any intent to seriously be cruel, just playful.
Also, I chose not to have an “English name” or be called “Tom” instead because from a young age I was always taught that your name is something given to you by your parents and that you should always wear it with pride. Thus, at times it may have been cruel but given that my parents have chosen this name for me I’ll always wear it with pride. That said, it is understandable that some people of Asian decent choose to have an English name because I’ve had first hand experience with having to correct people about my name numerous times and I admit, it does get annoying at times especially when your name can be easily misheard for “Tom” Source
How Do You Say That?
“While working at Disneyworld, a family came in to have lunch with the princesses at Cinderella’s castle. When Cinderella came to the table to give their daughter a certificate making her an honorary princess the mom said her daughters name was “Bonquiefa”. When Cinderella asked how you spell it she said, “Bon- Quief like a p—- fart-Uh”.
I think Cinderella almost s— her pants” Source
I went to high school with a girl named Gina Va. On roll sheets, her name was shown as Va, Gina.
I’m On A Roll!
“I had an English teacher in high school named Harry Wiener. The guy either had a really good sense of humor or developed one over time because he was funny as s–t and even allowed the class 5min to get the laughter out of us on the first day. For halloween he also dressed up as a hot dog and rolled down the hallway on his office chair yelling, “I’m a Wiener on a roll” Source
What A Goon
“I was looking through an old year book of my dads once and there was a girl named, Ima Goon. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it.” Now if we had to pick a funny name to have, this name would definitely be it. Let’s hope her siblings are named Youra, Werea and Shesa Source