Have you ever overheard a conversation you couldn't believe?! These conversations were definitely ones for the books and will have you dying with laughter.
“First, you have to know that pop was originally English and in America, and didn’t really dig the informality families here tend to do.
Second, my mom made some of her own clothes including this eye-searing neon green terrycloth robe. It was green. Seriously green. So my kid brother age around six or so started calling her “froggy”. Because green.
Pop was a bit grumpy about this, but tolerated it.
So…one night, brother and I are in bed (one room) and through the cracked door we see my dad go into the ‘rents bedroom. And then we heard those words…the ones we’ll never, ever forget…as my dad said in this fake childlike voice:
“Daddy f— a froggy?”
Picture the total pandemonium as my brother and I crack up, my mom shrieks in embarrassment, my dad howls laughing…
Good times” Source
And This One Night At Band Camp
“Couple is walking down the street toward me, clearly in the early stages of dating (maybe 3rd date). Guy is animatedly telling the girl a story, and I overhear: “…got really wasted and I blacked out, and the next thing I know, I wake up in Hoboken without my shoes, and I just thought, ‘Where are my kids?'”
One of the few times I’ve considered turning around and following someone down the street. Was dying to hear the rest of the story” Source
Kids Grow Up Too Fast
“I was at a wedding this weekend and this 12 year old next to me was talking to some other 12 year old and I just hear one of them say,
“He’s cute and all- But he’s just not hot enough to f—.”
??????? WHAT PLANET AM I ON” Source
Killing Me Softly
“I was at the Wilderness Lodge in Orlando (Disney World). I was sitting with my kids at a table, eating lunch. This table was located under the hot tub (it was elevated up some stairs to the right of the seating area).
Above us was a conversation going on between two women. They were talking about the resort, blah blah blah. My kids went to the kiddie pool and I sat cleaning up. As I did so, they conversation above turned to the a— sex that one of the women partook in the night before. Sooo… I sat back down. She was sore, and said that she didn’t clean properly. Then they giggled about the fact they were in a hot tub and it’d kill any excess bacteria. I got up, and haven’t been in a hot tub since” Source
Excuse Me What?!
“Overheard my boss telling someone in his office about the crazy weekend he’d had. He went home with a “bangin’ cougar” in her 60s (he’s 27) did the deed, and came face to face with her husband as he was leaving the house. The woman came out, started making out with her husband, and then they convinced him to have a threesome with him that “made him feel like he was f—— his parents”. Couldn’t look at him the same way after that” Source
Haven’t Seen You Since
“Distinctly overheard someone say, “I haven’t seen you since we got drunk off cough syrup in your ambulance.” Made a point to write it down because sentences like that don’t happen every day” Source
Innocent Until Proven Guilty
“I lived next to a 50 something married couple that used to get into drunken shouting matches on a biweekly basis. One day they were on the balcony screaming at each other about which one of them s— the bed. They proceeded to explain their diets and colon shapes to defend their innocence” Source
Just Do It!
“In Northeast GA
Kid: “I don’t want salt in my food.”
Mom: “PUT SALT IN YOUR FOOD!”
Sadly… Yes. They were both obese” Source
Nice And Lumpy
“And then he was like oooh gurl, yo titties feel like oatmeal”
It’s more funny than messed up, honestly” Source
Now That’s Something You Keep To Yourself
“I was on a train in Toronto around 6:30 pm last summer (so extremely busy, every seat taken kind of situation) and these two middle aged women were casually chatting about their husbands, children, what have you. The one woman is talking about her new german shepherd and how her husband has really taken a liking to him. So much so that he’s spending time with the dog in the middle of the night while she’s sleeping. THEN she says to her friend – I s—- you not – that she found her husband jerking off the dog at 3am, allegedly to “calm it down”. She didn’t even lower her voice! I looked at her friend and she was pretty flabbergasted, too.
I never saw her on the train again, but I hope that her husband has stopped fiddling with their dog.
Put It On The Card
“Heard my boss talk about a guy who had been using his company credit card to start his own escort service. Was flying girls in from Las Vegas and everything.
Of course this was all top secret and nobody was supposed to know but a glass door can only keep so much sound in” Source
An Eye Opening Experience
“I don’t know if you’d call it messed up, but for me it was incredibly eye-opening listening in on a conversation in HS between girls I knew, and what they wanted/liked about sex.
I had no idea at the time that “normal” girls were just as obsessed about sex as the average teen-age guy was” Source
Anything To Save A Buck
“I was in a bathroom stall at a club, and overheard the girl in the stall next to me asking her friend for a tampon. The other friend says yeah and hands her one, then the girl asks for a ziplock baggie. Her friend asks why, and the girl explains that she saves her old tampons, rinses them out when she gets home, then stuffs them back into the applicator tubes and reuses them” Source
That’s One Thing You Could Talk To Your Mom About
“Walking and passing some guy on his phone says “oh my god mom I have never went down on a guy so fast in my life” Source
A Little Math Lesson Goes A Long Way
“Hey…how long ago was 600 days?” – Valley Girl A “I dunno…like 4 months?” – Valley Girl B” Source
A Ghostly Encounter
“My Grandma to my dad while my siblings and I were in her living room in sleeping bags about to hit the hay: “Yeah, but I still see Pap (my grandpa) sitting in the kitchen all the time”. Yeah, dude’s been dead for like 2 years. Kitchen is in plain view from the living room I was sleeping in. I did not sleep that night” Source
Quiet Libraries Make For Great Conversation
“In a Library at uni doing work, over heard at the next table
“So I told Ben I have syphilis last night”
Everyone at the tables next to that table all looked up at once with the look of “did I just hear that”, followed by attempts to contain laughter.
Quiet Libraries are not the best place to share some things” Source
“I am a makeup artist and my clients sit in the chair for an hour sometimes. Conversations dont always last and this one girl was texting. I was standing behind her doing her hair and she had an international phones so it looked cool and different than mine, or any one I had seen. I was peeking at the screen to see what it was all about and she happened to be texting her boyfriend and how she wanted to f— herself with my curling iron. I never peeked again and I never looked at my curling iron as just an iron” Source
“I was in a store once and heard a two girls talking about the first thinks she may be pregnant. So her friend says “Well did you use any KY Jelly this time?” “No.” “What did you use then?” She said “Smuckers” Source
Well That’s Awkward
I was at a party and overheard a girl talking about some guy she randomly f—–.
She was regaling her friend, almost sobbing, “I almost threw up the next day when I saw him and realized he was a MEXICAN! And THEN I realized I forgot to take my pill, so ALL WEEK I was afraid I was going to have a MEXI-BABY. THANK GOD I got my period.”
I ended up overhearing this girl’s name later on and committed it to memory.
Fast forward about a week, I’m drinking with my buddy Miguel at his place. He makes some remark about getting laid recently and how he “hated himself because he didn’t use a condom” and how he was really f—— drunk and this fugly girl basically took advantage of him.
I just blurt out, mid-sentence “WAS HER NAME MELISSA?!?”
And That’s How You Do It
“I was sitting it the sauna at the gym with headphones in, but not listening to music. A young lady walks in followed by another guy. We are all strangers. I just sit there and listen to this guy hit on this girl with complete failure. He was suggesting they should meet up everyday at the same time and meet in the steam room and all these other terrible tactics to get the girl. Well, when he sees it going no where he defaults the conversation by trying to make fun of me. He was saying things about my socks and how he doesn’t like socks to be mid ankle heighth or something. I could care less about this a–hole, I have been made fun of before and can take it like a champ now. I look up at the girl with a crooked smile and this poor girl looked so uncomfortably embarrassed. She gets up and leaves after a little bit longer. After she leaves, I pop my headphones out to see if this guy will talk to me. Of course he does, and of course, he is now my buddy. I get the conversation to music, because I know what I am going to say. I get him to ask me what music I like to listen to at the gym. I proceed to stand up, look right at him, and tell him I just like to put headphones in so people won’t try to talk to me and also so I can eavesdrop on stranger’s conversations. His face went red and I just turn and walk out the door. I had a great workout after that adrenaline rush” Source
“Not that messed up but the context threw me through a loop. I was waiting on the underground (subway) platform and stood next to a couple, tall man, short woman. They are talking quietly, she’s cuddled to his chest and I cant help thinking they look like a good couple. The guy is eating a subway sandwich and takes a big bite then begins chewing. Apparently this was not the right moment to indulge in the sandwich as the girl immediately reacts to not being answered and stirs. Before she sees he is chewing and trying to clear his mouth before speaking to her she irritatedly blurts out, much more loudly than everything else; “Is this because I wouldn’t let you cum insi-“…
I cant handle cringe so I immediately stopped leaning on the wall and began walking away down the platform, which I imagine only drew attention to my having heard” Source
Whoever Smelt It Dealt It
“My wife was at her ob’s office when a ditzy pregnant teen asked her friend: “omg! Do you think the baby will fart inside of me? Will I feel it? Ugh, thats so gross, I don’t want baby farts inside of me” Source