21 People Who Were Denied While Proposing Share Their Stories And The Aftermath

*Spoiler Alert* Most of these initial denials actually have happy endings. Love is crazy, right?

Not So Crazy Afterall

My dad proposed to my mom after they’d been seeing each other for just under two weeks. She laughed and basically told him he was crazy, that it was way too soon. My dad said, (and he is very proud of this fact,) “Fine. I asked you once. I’m not gonna ask again.” My mom thought he was bluffing. After a year of dating she started giving him a hard time about not asking her to get married again, and he stuck to his guns and said she missed her chance and he wasn’t going to ask again. My mom finally broke down and asked him to marry her. Made sure she properly took the piss out of him when she did it, too. Made a big show about asking his father for permission, got down on one knee in public, got him the gaudiest engagement ring she could find. He said yes and they just celebrated their 30th anniversary. (Source)

18 Years Strong

I’m the denier. I’d been dating this girl for 6 months, and it was going pretty well. We hardly ever fought, but when we did it was hard for us to get back to normal. At a good point, she said “I feel like I should pop the question”. I have absolutely no poker face, and she instantly saw that I wasn’t on board. As a child of the 80’s, ALL of my friends had parents who’d divorced, and I’d made an oath to myself that I was just going to be married once. I liked this girl a lot, but I wasn’t convinced yet that what we had was going to last forever. So, we stayed together, went to couples counseling, and learned how to fight. It sounds strange, but I can’t tell you how effective it was. We learned that my conflict pattern is to constantly work on a problem until it’s solved, where her pattern is to blow off steam over time. The result was that I would keep conversations going when we fought, and would basically chase her around keeping her mad and blocking her attempts at breaking off to cool down. I learned to just let her be mad, and check back in later, and she learned to say “I just need to be by myself for a bit”. It worked. Our ‘good relationship with rough fights’ turned into ‘great relationship with mature, low drama fights’. Conflicts that used to hang a dark cloud over the house for days were now resolved in hours. At that point I felt comfortable enough to say yes to a year long engagement.
….and we’ve now been married 18 years, have supported each other through thick and thin, and are raising two awesome kids. The ONLY regret I have is that we ended up without a proposal story, as it was effectively negotiated over time. I did get on my knee and present a ring at a fancy dinner, but even then it was a ring we’d picked out together, as she was a jewelry smith. (Source)

Not A Bad Deal

She said no, I got a dog and a case of beer and lived happily ever after. (Source)

The Day A Relationship Died

After a Christmas vacation we were home and I asked her about marriage. “I don’t want to marry you. I never wanted to marry you. I never will marry you.” followed by a thirty minute speech about missing her single life. I died a little inside, honestly. Tried to make it work but I realize now I stopped trying after that. Eight months later she moves out. Three months after that she is begging me to take her back, she wants to get married, she wants to own a house. And I’m just too hurt to believe her. Therapy is helping. But a five year relationship died that day. And I miss it, but I’m not sure I miss her anymore. Her addiction and alcoholism played a major role in her choice and feelings. She had, apparently, been using for a few months and kept it hidden. If you need help quitting heroin, go find it. It f_cks up more than just your life. The people you hurt the worst are the ones you love the most. And that love for you may never end, but how much they care for you just may. (Source)

Life’s Cruel Lesson

I asked, she said no because I drank way too much. I said I would get it under control. I tried bluffing and bullsh_tting instead. She saw through it and kicked me out. She was right. I don’t have a clue where she is or whatever happened to her. I quit drinking now but that was definitely my life’s most cruel lesson. (Source)

The True Test Of A Soulmate

My friend’s parents met at a bar down the shore. Her dad was crazy about her mom, but it was unrequited. She slept with him anyway, just a one night stand, and ignored him after that. Until she found out she was pregnant.
He was over the moon and she was intent on having the baby. He tried to be with her, but she consistently refused him. Proposed to her several times, ending in eye rolls and exasperated “no”‘s from her each time. After 9 months, she went into labor and let him come with her into the delivery room. Just her and this guy who had been begging her to marry him. A few hours into labor, the doctors started to notice something was wrong. The baby’s heartbeat was slowing rapidly. The mother started to panic, but the father stayed calm. He stayed with her and communicated information from the doctors. But there was little anyone could do. She delivered a stillborn. After everything happened, my friends mom realized she had found her soulmate. They finally got together and are still married to this day. (Source)

Growing Apart

Not denied during a proposal but 99% sure she realized I was going to propose and bailed before I had the chance. Eight years and change together, everything seemed totally fine, we talked about a future together plenty of times, engagement rings, jobs, housing, kids, etc. The job and housing parts were going forward and she had shown me rings and talked weddings plenty so it felt like it was time to finally do that. Bought a ring, tried planning some neat trips to take her on for an awesome proposal, they kept not happening, finally decided I was just going to do it around New Years, but right before that she bailed. Timing was just so perfect for her not to have figured it out. Never really got an explanation, just the general, “I love you but I’m not in love with you.”
One of those kinda generic statements that you hate to get, especially after so long, but at the same time I’m sure there was plenty of legitimacy to it. We met when we were young and we grew into different people. People change a lot between the mid teens and mid twenties. We tried to maintain a friendship for a while after that but it was super hard for me because I was still totally into her. I had to basically drop off the map entirely for a year or so because we shared the same social circle and I just got so incredibly uncomfortable around her. No hard feelings I guess at the end of the day, it sucked, but it wasn’t like something awful happened between us. Eventually we just stopped talking. She drifted to a new social group, I got back in mine, life goes on. Definitely not where I expected to be at this point in my life though. (Source)

Red Flag Alert

Not exactly the question, but a man I had known briefly proposed to me on our fourth date. I said no, and he gave me the ring and asked me to consider it a promise ring. Flags and sirens everywhere, but I said ok, to spare his feelings, and continued to go out with him for a little while, hoping that something would develop between us (from my end). I mean, it’s not every day you meet someone who is so “crazy about you”. It turned out he was just “crazy” in general (sorry for the pejorative term… he was mentally ill, but crazy just fits the story), and I came to understand that with time. I broke up with him and returned the ring, and he appeared to take it very badly. A few weeks later, I heard he was dating someone else I casually knew. They were married within months. Around five years later, he committed suicide and murdered their son in the process. (Source)

Love At Fourth Date

I was proposed to and said no. After 4 weeks of dating he got down on his knee with a HUGE diamond ring and said a huge speech along the lines of “when you know you know. Will you marry me?” Since I barely knew the guy I flat out said no followed by “sorry…are you okay?” He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night and then when he dropped me home I told my roommate about it. As I was telling her about it I get a text from him – YES A TEXT – saying “you’ve broken my heart. I never want to see you again. Goodbye. I love you.” We were both 22 at the time. (Source)

A Lot Can Change In A Year

She said no, because she didn’t think we were ready yet. She was a Senior in College, I had graduated but hadn’t found a good job in my field. After graduation, and her getting a professional job (And me getting a not quite so crappy job) We got married exactly 1 year later, on the Anniversary of the day she said no the first time. 19 years and 4 kids later, It’s going pretty well. (Source)

Just A Bit

She said no and then confessed that she had been sleeping with my brother. It ruined the trip a bit to be honest. (Source)

Caste System Troubles

From South India.. proposed to her and got rejected right away. The reason is her parents won’t accept the marriage outside their caste. Long story short, I waited and she accepted me after 3 years and took another 5 years to convince both our families. Married at 2011 and expecting our 2nd child next month.Sorry for bad English, not even my second Language here. (Source)

Happily Ever After

I said no. We’d been dating about a year, lots of drama from my family who didn’t approve. We had been arguing for a couple of days (I have no idea now what it was about) and as far as I knew, we’d broken up. I was pretty heartbroken. He showed up at my apartment late at night with champagne and a red rose and asked me to marry him. I was shocked. Told him I’d think about it and after a week or so, told him no because if we were ready to break up it wasn’t a good idea to get married. We stayed together though, worked on just having fun and being happy together. I also sorted out the issues with my family (told them they didn’t get to control my life!) and we eventually moved in together. Six months later, I remember he was asking me to make a compromise about something and I said “well, that’s something you should ask of your wife, not your girlfriend” — about two months later he surprised me with a proposal (we were on an airplane and he had arranged for the pilot to ask the question over the speakers so the entire cabin could hear — that took a lot of confidence). I practically dove under the seat I was so surprised and when I sat up there were several flight attendants, flowers, my boyfriend, a ring in my face and an entire cabin cheering. I said yes after being reminded to breathe and that it would be appropriate to answer. The pilot announced my answer and the cabin cheered again. We were married within 6 months and recently celebrated our 16 year anniversary with our 3 children. (Source)

“It Wasn’t A Question”

My mom had been going out with my dad for a few weeks. One day she said to him, “We’re getting married.” He said, “I’ll have to think about it.” She said, “It wasn’t a question.” Last week they celebrated their 48th anniversary. (Source)

Ouch…

Not me. But my father worked with a guy who had a very bad experience, which he recounted to me. In essence, there was this guy who took way too long to pop the question, it was like 7 or 8 years. The couple were in their thirties. Anyway, dude finally pops the question and the woman said something to the effect of, “I made my mind up four years ago. I decided then, that I would never marry you, and I’ve been waiting four years for this very moment. No I will not marry you, you are a loser and a coward, your window ran out a long time ago. I’ve been waiting all this time for the moment I could say no and see the expression on your face.”
Needless to say, this destroyed the guy, even to this day. It’s really sad. Not sure what happened to the woman, but I’m guessing she’s either imprisoned for being a serial killer or living an otherwise sh_tty life (one hopes). It is perhaps the most cruel thing I’ve ever heard. (Source)

The Ol’ Safety Deposit Box Trick

I proposed after 7 months of dating and she said “no” as it was too soon. I agreed and put the ring in a safety deposit box and told her that if she changed her mind, it’s there for her. After 2 weeks, she said “yes” and we decided to have a long engagement period (2 years) so that we could be sure. We’ve been married for 37 years. (Source)

Reconnected With The Love Of His Life

In 1988, I asked the love of my life to marry me. She said no. In a funk, I left town and went on with my life. Married another girl, had a son, years went by. My marriage was pretty bad, so after 16 years we divorced. My friends convinced me to join Facebook; they said it would help meet girls and stuff. A few months into FB, I get a PM from the past. The love of my life had also married, had kids, and divorced. This is 25 years after my proposal and her rejection. There’s a lot more to the story, but six months after that first PM on FB we were married and I was happy for the first time in decades. We are still going strong, with our 6th anniversary coming up in a few weeks. (Source)

No! Yes!

Proposed to Girlfriend after she got off work on a Monday with her favorite meal prepared, and the apartment all lit with candles, rose petals on the floor after having had a special weekend together. (she is shy and promised violence if proposed to in public) She said No no no! No! NO! when I asked her to marry me as she came in the door to our apartment. She worked in the medical field and had puke all over her….. She showered and said yes. (Source)

A Bullet Dodged By Both

I proposed after 3ish years of dating and one year of living together and she said no. I was offering her my great-grandparents wedding ring. That was Friday night. By Sunday night, after a trip to her parents, she came back and told me that she was gay. That was 22 years ago. Since then I have been married for 16 years to the next woman I dated. My wife has the wedding ring that I offered to my ex. The gay girlfriend has been with her partner for nearly 22 years. I have a daughter and they have a girl and a boy. I love them and they are just the best people ever. This is a bullet we both dodged. (Source)

Jokes On Her

I proposed after dating my girlfriend for two years. I was about to graduate college and move away, and she was a year behind me. I had the ring, everything perfectly planned, we discussed our future together. When I proposed, she initially said yes. About half an hour later, she seemed off. I asked her if anything was wrong, and she said she needed to think. We talked for awhile, and then she said changed her answer. She said we were too young, she wanted to be on her own for awhile, to be independent, etc… Jokes on her though, because now we’re married. (Source)

26 Years Later…

I turned down a proposal using the excuse that he was drunk. He was but I knew he was serious. I drove him home and tried the old ‘I want to be friends’ speech but he shut me down. He said if I didn’t love him he would just have to get over me. And he got out of the car and walked away. A day later I realized what a fucking idiot I was being and I called him. Tomorrow is our 26th anniversary. (Source)