Meeting the parents of your girlfriend or boyfriend is a big deal. These people share their awful experiences meeting their S.O. parents for the first time.
Went over to pick her up for a first date, met the parents and they seemed nice. While we were out her parents called the cops and told them I kidnapped her. It was really awkward nearly getting arrested. Source
A Lot Of Ruckus
I was taking shower at my girlfriend’s house while she wasn’t there.
I heard the cats knocking shit over in the next room. I ran into the kitchen naked screaming, “CUT IT OUT!” It’s her 85-year-old grandma stopping by to pick up some mason jars. I stand there dripping naked having just screamed at an old woman. Die. Source
His mom asked us if we were “dipping winkies” and said if he ever needed condoms for us to tell her we’re “hungry for hardees” and that she would either give us money for or go out and buy us condoms. I was fourteen at the time. Found out years later that she became pregnant and had an abortion at thirteen and didn’t want us to have to make that decision. So she really was just trying to be helpful. But it was a little much the very first time meeting her. Source
A Plain Bad Sport
Met the father at bf’s hockey game. He was sweet and bought me a hot chocolate and himself a coffee. About 5 minutes later he gets booted from the arena for arguing with a ref and throwing his coffee at the refs face. Source
I dated a Korean guy for a month or so in high school. I went to his house after school one day, and encountered his dad on the sidewalk before we made it there. He looks at me, looks at his son, and begins pointing at me and yelling at him in Korean. I had to awkwardly stand there for about five minutes of them going back and forth, before we parted ways and I just went home. Turns out he didn’t want him dating a non-Korean.Source
Oh Hey Boss
My ex’s mom surprised him with a visit while we were mid-sex. My clothes somehow ended up all over the apartment so I had to come out and greet her wearing nothing but his shirt and pretending it was a dress. She knew. Did I mention she was one of my bosses? Source
This isn’t a relationship-type meet the parents, but it’s the worst experience I’ve had with someone’s parents outside of my dysfunctional family.
My friend is the son of one of the physics professors at my university. So when I got introduced to my future instructor (because I decided to major in Physics), I was forced to make some small talk. He also prepared a lovely dinner for us too!
I had no clue he had three other children in the family so he started talking about them. We talked a lot about how his oldest was in Germany and his second oldest skipped a grade (my friend). I started spacing out and instead focused on the food and how good it was.
At this time, he mentioned that his youngest daughter was at Girl Guides. And right when he said that, I let out the most satisfying “MMMM” to signify that I was really enjoying his food. I then clued back into the conversation and said “Girl Guides, yeah I like them.” Which was a mistake when I quickly realized what I had just said. I could see my friend holding back laughter, but I just sat there and ate my food in silence.
He gave me this really weird look and I don’t think he’s looked at me the same since, even after being my instructor for six upper-level Physics classes. We never spoke of it again, but my friend likes to bring it up every so often. Source
The Weirdest Bodily Functions
Sitting at dinner with the girlfriend and her parents (just met them 10 minutes earlier) having casual conversion when I sneeze-farted. I tried to play it cool but we all knew what happened. The worst part was about 30 second after it happened, after everyone had moved on, when the smell crept in. Source
Thanks For The Cake
When I began dating my girlfriend I ended up meeting her mother fairly quickly and we got along swell; however, it wasn’t until nearly 3 years later that I ended up meeting her father as he was overseas working.
Now, a bit of background on her father: he was a very no-nonsense, straightforward man who trained zealously in martial arts. His expectations in his daughters’ choice of boyfriend were rather high (more so with the daughter I chose to date because she was both his first born and the one he invested the most effort into).
Maybe a month before her mother’s birthday, my girlfriend tells me that her dad will be coming down to stay for a few months so I would finally be properly introduced. Needless to say, I’m a tad nervous as her father has been built up in my mind to be an amalgamation of Bruce Lee, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bill Gates, and Hercules.
The day finally arrives and, as had become tradition at her household, I brought a cake to celebrate. Lo and behold, who else opens the door but my girlfriend’s father.
To be fair he wasn’t nearly as big or as muscled as I imagined, but his build denoted that he had seen quite a few fights in his day. And, like his offspring, he wore that signature scowl on his face (thankfully I have the unique ability to remove that scowl from my girlfriend’s face). Her father gave me the once over, takes the cake from my hands, gives me a $20, and shuts the door.
I’m stunned for a good 15 seconds but I knock again to try and figure out what’s up. Her father again appears, scowl unmoved, and glares at me before shouting back into the apartment, “[Daughter’s name], grab me my wallet, the delivery boy wants a tip!” Without going over the laughter and horror that my lady friend and her mother had when seeing who the delivery boy was, that was my first encounter with my girlfriend’s father. Source
A Case Of Mistaken Identity
I met his mom and said, “Oh this must be your grandmother”. Source
This Dad’s Not Joking Around
Her parents had an RV and were on vacation when we met. When they returned home I we were having sex in the shower. Her mom didn’t expect anyone to be at the house with her and just walked in. She was expecting them home the next day. Her dad introduced me to his .357 and told me to get the f*ck out of his house.
Hide And Go Seek
I met my ex’s mom when I was 15. They were a very Catholic family and he wasn’t allowed to date. So I would go over after school until it was about time for them to get home. So we’re making out and my shirt and bra come off. Which was pretty escalated for us. Then we heard a car door slam. He grabs my shirt and bra, hands them to me and tells me to go hide in his closet. So I do. Shirtless. His mom and him talk for what seems like forever just outside the door. She tells him she’s gonna go take a nap so to be quiet. After she went in her room he came and got me. Right as I am trying to get my bra on she steps out of her room and sees me. We broke up soon after. Source
Skinny Dipping Gone VERY Wrong
It was the first time I had ever gone to a girlfriend’s house to hang out and meet her parents. It was the summer before my 8th grade year. Needless to say, HORMONES! so I was an awkward, squeaky barely teenage boy.
Her parents were really excited to meet me because I was the first boy her daughter had ever introduced them to, so they planned a family cookout so I could meet ALL the family. I got there around 5pm, and, because it was in the country in Ohio, all the adults were already drunk.
To avoid as many drunk family members as possible, my girlfriend and I decided to swim in her pool for most of the night. At around 9pm, most of her family had left; only her parents remained. They were inside (still drinking) and me and my girlfriend decided we would have some “naughty time” in the pool, which in 8th grade meant me taking off my trunks and her taking off her bottoms. We hid them under the towels on the deck so it wouldn’t be too obvious that I was naked.
After about ten minutes of fun skinny dipping, her parents decided to come out to check on us. However, in their drunken stupor, they decided instead to get in the pool with us. My trunks and my girlfriend’s bottoms weren’t easily accessible while remaining entirely in the pool, so I had to swim around naked while my girlfriend’s parents were in the pool. I never knew how good of a swimmer I was until that day, because they never found out! However, I didn’t date her for much longer after that. Source
All Choked Up
My girlfriend had me over for dinner at her parent house for the first time. Steak dinner with all of the fixins’. I take my first bite, swallow, immediately start choking. I’m so scared that I’m going to make a bad impression, so I took a drink of water to try to wash it down. Didn’t work, so after about fifteen seconds without a single breath my face turns red, so I start freaking out an point at my throat. So my girlfriends mom does the Heimlich maneuver and I throw up all over the floor. Her two miniature schnauzers start licking up the aftermath, girlfriend’s dad puts his napkin down and leaves the room. Source
Surprise, It’s Twins!
When I met my ex-girlfriends Father, I asked her what I should wear and she suggested a white t-shirt and a blue sweater. This was her suggestion. Cut to the introduction in the lounge and her dad is wearing the exact same thing. Of course it gets worse, we then went to a local restaurant for a meal and a guy on the table next but one to us was wearing the exact same thing as well. Source
Revenge Of The Ex
My husband and I are older (40s) and had been dating about a year before I met his parents for the first time. They live on the other side of the country and flew out to visit him.
His ex-girlfriend found out and showed up at the restaurant, sat down, and dominated the conversation with all of the memories she had with them and my husband.
Awkward as hell.
They can’t stand her, but are polite people. Anyway, this chick is a hot mess. Source
I was dating this girl for about 3 months and got her pregnant. We decided it was best if we just got married, I was 27 she was 20. I drove to my parent’s house to tell them at the same time she went to her parent’s house to tell them. I offered to go with her, but she said “You don’t know my Dad.”, which was true because while she had met my parents I had never met her parents.
Sitting at my parent’s house listening to them tell me how I was throwing my life away the phone rings. It was my girlfriend. She said I needed to go over to her parent’s house because they wanted to meet me.
I showed up at their house and was escorted to the living room where I was asked to sit in a chair in the middle of the room.
Her family sat in a semi circle around me and proceeded to grill me for 2 hours.
“What were you thinking?”
“You’re 7 years older than her, you some kind of pervert?”
“How do you plan on supporting our daughter and grandchild?”
On and on and on.
That was 20 years ago. I’m writing this from my in-law’s house sitting next to my 19 year old daughter. I’m still very much in love with my wife and her family still hates me and sees me as the dirty old man that took their daughter away from them. Source
In The Nude
I was invited to a (former) boyfriend’s house for dinner to meet his parents. When I got there, his father wasn’t yet home from work so we decided to go for a walk. Boyfriend’s mother told us to be back to the house by 5, so we were playfully racing each other back so as to make it in time. I got to the door a few paces ahead of him, opened the door, and found myself face-to-face with his dad who was standing stark naked in front of the door. I turned around and hid around the corner, the father kind of yelped and ran down the hall, and we were both mortified. Turns out he came home and was getting ready to shower when the phone rang, so he answered it naked since he hadn’t expected us back yet. Source
Uh, I Love Buffy
The first time I met my fiancé’s mother, we had to walk past her to go to his bedroom, and he said, “Hi mom, this is nancydrewskillz.” I said hi, she said hi, and that was it. We were more formally introduced in the morning.
But the next time we saw each other I came stumbling drunk into the house, told her how much I loved Buffy (she was watching it) and had a 5 minute conversation with their dog about how soft he was.
Two and a half years later, she’s going to be my mother-in-law. And when her son and I were having a pretty serious argument a while ago she said to him, “If you break up with her, I’m trading you for her.” Source
We’re Just Practicing
I was meeting my now-fiancée’s mom for the first time a few months after we had started dating. She half-jokingly made a comment about us making babies.
I nervously replied, “It’s OK, we’re enjoying practicing for now.”Source
A Mother’s Pass On Me
She only had her mother, her father passed away when she was young.
I go to her house to wait for her to get home and meet her mom, she has a bottle of dewars on the table. Her mom was pleasant (not drunk at the time) and she offers me a drink. I normally don’t drink the hard stuff, but I decided to be polite and take it.
Her mother gets a phone call, apparently my new GF is going to be about 2 hours late. The mother sits down next to me on the couch and tells me.
Then the unthinkable happens, her mom puts her hand on my upper thigh. She says we have 2 hours if I’m interested and smiles.
Now at the time I was only 18, but I had enough common sense to GTFO real quick.
Meet up with my GF later on that night and don’t even bring up what happened (what good could it do right?).
Two days later my GF shows up at my house and is wide eyed, her breath is labored (she ran to my house). She tells me that one of her best friends just told her that he slept with her mom. I ask when it happened, and she said two nights ago.
So made the right choice