While some things are valid excuses for losing interest in a long term girlfriend or wife, there are many reasons that are just down right superficial. These guys share those reasons and some interesting ways to get over those bumps.
Insecurity is a real buzz kill.
While everyone seems to have their own insecurities, sometimes too many of them can be a real turn off. This guy explained, “She [his girlfriend] would put herself and other women down constantly. It was like she was the most insecure person and wanted everyone else to be insecure. She was really not worth the trouble.” Source
It’s a roller coaster of emotions.
Not all relationships are perfect every single day and to expect them to be is just foolish. Attraction will come and go and this man describes it perfectly. “Over our 20+ years together the attraction has been high, low, and everything in between. So, yes, it got better…..but it also got worse, then better, then stable, then amazing, etc, etc. The attraction has never been at zero, thankfully, so we just work through it when it’s low and enjoy it when it’s high.”Source
You are not a boss-bitch.
You can only pretend you like someone’s bossy attitude for so long. “She had this narrative, this weird delusion of herself as a sort of NYC boss-bitch, and she’d try to warp reality so that EVERYTHING that had anything remotely to do with her somehow reinforced her perception of herself. The way it manifested in day-to-day dating was really off-putting. I’d have to sort of play along if I wanted to communicate with her at all. It was really embarrassing.” Maybe the boss-bitches aren’t the girls to date. Source
It waxes and it wanes.
Like the waves of the ocean, the passion in a relationship comes and goes. But that doesn’t mean all hope is lost. Right?! “In a long relationship the passion normally waxes and wanes. During low periods it’s not that I’m less attracted to her, it’s just that other things are taking priority over sexytime. I agree about it being harmful to think of men as insatiable sex beasts. We have stress and anxiety over things and sometimes sex takes a back seat. Those issues weigh ever heavier when our SO starts freaking out that we’ve fallen out of love with her if we don’t have sex for a bit too long.” Source
Jealousy isn’t cute.
Confidence is key for a guy in a relationship. No one likes to deal with jealousy, especially when it comes down to everyone she runs into contact with. “She was super threatened by anyone who was successful. Like obsessively threatened by other people’s success, so much that she would behave really badly. Everyone around her saw through it. She was basically the only one NOT in on the joke. I was really ashamed about it because she sort of had ‘fooled’ me in the beginning, and I bought into her story. But once I started meeting her ‘friends,’ I realized that no one really liked her.” Source
Too much ice cream, too little time.
Now the truth can definitely hurt sometimes, but these words are harsh. What happened to those vows?! “She got too fat, always refused to go out even for simple walking for exercise, and due to the lack of attraction among other things we divorced. Worked out well for both of us.” Source
Once a gabber, always a gabber.
Some people like talking and other people like to REALLY talk. This girl apparently didn’t know where that line was. “She was oblivious to when people were bored with her conversation. She would seriously go on for like 30 minutes before noticing the other person was just nodding and basically had their foot out the door and were trying to get out of the conversation. I felt helpless about it.” Source
Sometimes it’s all superficial.
There are no words. Beauty is more than just an outer layer. “Yes. She gained a ton of weight. When she lost it I was attracted again. Still broke up later.” Source
Mrs. ALWAYS right
“She needed to be right. Her answer was always correct. There was no other answer.” But I thought women were always right? All jokes aside, there needs to be compromise! Source
The truth is in the meds.
Sometimes you just can’t help it and that’s a scary feeling. “I was changed onto different psych meds about a half year ago. They severly dampen my sex drive. It was hard to make love to my wife. But after getting closer emotionally it was easy to make love. Just gotta reignite the spark every once in a while.” Source
She was never good enough…harsh.
But then why are you with her? “She never felt ‘good enough.’ At anything. It’s hard to describe. Everything she’d do, my mind would always compare her to someone else, and it would tell me, ‘That person would have done it better.’ It was a terrible thing to have in my head, but I couldn’t shake it. I never really resolved the issue so we broke up.” Source
Better than ever
This guy knows this process of a relationship and sounds like a keeper. “I’ve been with my current SO for about 4 years now and while I don’t know if that’s longterm enough, I know that my actual attraction towards her hasn’t dropped at all. On the contrary. Sure, the actual sex life varies a bit. There are busy times, where work and life makes it less frequent, but then there are times like vacation, where we can’t get enough of each other.”Source
She let herself go.
Hey, to each their own I guess? “Yes, she let herself go after the wedding and never bounced back. I always try to look my best to my SO, and she kinda tired but was just not serious about it. I don’t expect a bikini model, but at least someone who gives a shit about their health and wellbeing. We are no longer together and am now with a girl thats going to compete in a fitness show in a few months :)” Source
The nagging voice in that back of your head
Maybe you should have married someone else bro…”Yes. My wife is constantly nagging and complaining about anything. Wasn’t a big deal at first but after 13 years of marriage it really begins to wear me out. Plus over time I think it just gets boring seeing the same person naked.” Source
Welp, that’s awkward.
There’s supporting her dreams and then there’s trying to be okay with her pretending to be something she’s not. “She thought she was a writer. Her whole persona was ‘writer’. But her writing — I mean, I’m no novelist myself, but it was fucking terrible. Like the most cliche, boring, love-y dove-y shit I’ve ever read. And every time she’d write a new blog post, she’d put it on her Facebook. And what made it worse was she’d get like 30 likes from all her friends on it, like they weren’t all in on the secret! It drove me insane.”Source
Love is still alive.
Oh to be old and still madly in love. It is possible, don’t you worry. “64.5 years old, Married 37 years. Two kids, two grandkids, lots of stressors through the years. Most my fault. Weight gain on both sides of the bed. Sex life has never been the quantity I want, nor has it been the quality I want. But am I still sexually attracted to her? YES! I still get stirrings as I see her butt, breasts, still want to caress her, and I still (lightly)pinch her fanny when the opportunity presents itself. I’m getting horny for her just writing this, even though we had sex only yesterday. She is still the cutest girl on the block.” Source
Through the roof attraction
Not all guys are superficial though. He’s the real hero here. “Married for 30 years. I’m off the charts attracted to my wife.” Source
Apparently guys have a twisted perception of what a girl is good for huh? “She would’ve been a 10 if she ever bothered to work out, and that bothered me. It was constant wasted potential.”Source
High pitch squeals that can be heard for miles.
No need to shout, I’m right here woman! “She routinely spoke at an extremely high volume. Like, so loud I think it would actually make my eardrums hurt. And she had this habit of talking over people by overpowering them with her volume. It annoyed the shit out of me.” Source