While many relationships are filled with happy times and good memories, some are encompassed with red flags and heartache. Knowing when you should get out of a relationship is something that proves harder than you may think. There are many signs to watch out for when it comes to dysfunctional relationships and these are some of the major ones.
You’re always unsure of your actions.
It is never a good feeling to be unsure of yourself. If you are so unsure of things that it's hard for you to make decisions in fear of hurting your relationship or upsetting your partner, there is something that needs to be reevaluated. You shouldn't have to live in uncertainty or insecurity.
You’re always questioning what your significant other is doing when you’re not together.
A relationship comes down to trust. If there isn't trust in the relationship, it isn't going to last. If you're constantly wondering who your significant other is texting or what he's doing when he's out with friends, chances are there's either a reason you're suspicious or there are deeper issues you two need to discuss. Whatever the case may be, trust is a big factor in a relationship.
You feel like you need to change who you are in order to get your significant other’s approval.
It's inevitable, we all change a little bit when we enter a new relationship. Whether it's watching the shows your boyfriend watches or trying new food because it's his favorite, there's a little bit of changing we all do. But it becomes an issue when you feel like you need to change your core in order to make that person happy. You should never have to change your values or opinions to fit another person's, especially in a relationship. If your partner isn't truly happy with who you are deep down, then it is time to reconsider your relationship.
You can’t see someone or do anything without your partner’s consent.
This is probably the biggest red flag. No matter if it's because of trust issues or a need to control, your partner should never control who you see or don't see. If they aren't letting you see your friends or family, or even dictating what clothes you wear, you really need to rethink the relationship you're in.
Criticism is any every day occurrence.
While there's a difference between positive criticism and negative, a relationship should never have criticism every day. If he is constantly putting you down even in a passive-aggressive way, your self esteem can be greatly affected. A significant other should be your cheerleader, not the one tearing you down.
You constantly have to stick up for your significant other around friends and family.
While your friends may not love your boyfriend as much as you do, you should never have to constantly defend his actions to your friends or family. If all of your family and friends don't like your S.O., chances are you're blinded and can't see what they do. This constant defending can lead to isolation from other loved ones and that is when you know something is wrong.
You’re constantly unhappy.
Sure there are some days where your significant other is going to upset you; every relationship has arguments. But, if you're constantly unhappy, you may need to take a step back and look at the situation you're in. Chances are there's a feeling that something is not right. Whatever is making you unhappy, you need to talk about it with your partner and if it can't be fixed then you should probably end the relationship. Life is too short to be constantly unhappy!
Your significant other never asks what you want to do.
If you're always hanging out with your S.O.'s family and friends or only going to functions they want to attend, it may be time to stick up for what you want to do or leave the relationship altogether. A relationship isn't about one person following the other around like a puppy.
Your significant other’s happiness rests on your shoulders.
While it may feel good for your partner to rely on you, you should never be their soul reason of their happiness. This kind of a relationship is poisonous and should be reconsidered immediately. You should never feel like you constantly need to watch what you say or do so you don't upset your partner. Your partner should be happy first and even happier with you. You'll never be able to do anything right if you're their only source happiness.
You’re constantly questioning your relationship.
We all have that little voice in our head telling us things we don't want to hear. It's easy to quiet that voice when it comes to a toxic relationship. If you're using "He won't do it again" or "He'll change" to defend is actions all the time, that's a huge red flag. Instead of pushing your concerns to the side, address them with your partner. If you don't see eye to eye or if things don't change, then it may be time to end the relationship.
You don’t have enough “me” time.
Sometimes it's just nice to curl up on the couch with your favorite meal and binge watch girly chick flicks on TV. And if you aren't taking some time to care for yourself, how can you care for another person? Whether it's too much time spent together or too little time, if even ground isn't found that both of you are comfortable with, the relationship is sure to fizzle.
There’s a clear imbalance of power.
A relationship should be a clear 50/50 split. If you find yourself putting more effort into a relationship than your significant other or vice-versa, chances are the relationship is lopsided. Relationships are all about balance and if there is an imbalance, it's not a relationship you should put your effort into.
Your partner is always blaming you.
A dysfunctional partner avoids blame like the plague. They know how to turn every situation back on you so you're always the one at fault. No matter what they're unhappy about in life, it all comes back around on you. You should never have to take all the blame.
You feel hopelessness.
If there's constantly a dark cloud over you that's taking away your happiness and optimism, chances are you need to rethink your relationship. A relationship that is constantly making you feel bad about yourself, your choices, your friends and anything else, is not a good one. Start believing in yourself and make a change for the better.
You always say “Sorry.”
Sure we all mess up and it's good to say "Sorry" when you do, but you should never be the only one to apologize. If you're in a relationship where you're always saying sorry even if you didn't do anything wrong, that is not a healthy relationship. Rethink why you're apologizing before you actually do.