You'll be shocked to find out just what Americans are stereotyped for, and baffled to find out how many of these questions actually have some weight behind them! These questions are among many that foreigners are not afraid to ask an unsuspecting traveler.
Do You Say The Pledge of Allegiance Before Dinner?
I pledge allegiance to my American pride and secretly wince a little as I bet this actually happens somewhere around the country. Since 2012, only five states do not mandate that school children utter the patriotic, often controversial, pledge at least once per day. So, why not before dinner too!? Patriotism and pancakes for dinner tonight!
Wow, You're Thin For An American
While many of us really despise those who accuse us of not being pretty fat, the numbers are actually pretty crazy. More than two thirds of adults in the US are considered at least overweight, while one third are considered obese!
Isn’t Literally Half of Your Country Corn Fields?
What?! Are you crazy?…erm yes, cough you’re actually kind of right. The US plants 109 million acres of corn and 319 million acres of cropland. Wow them with those facts, and then realize you’ve wound up looking like a proud farmer to these mean foreign folks. But don’t you know where your cow feed came from?
Are Your Kids In a Beauty Pageant?
Honey Boo Boo, Bad Grandpa, and a lot of actual parents may say yes to this question. Why, you ask? Well, they may have some actual numbers. An estimated 250,000 children are beauty pageant contestants each year, and the number is only rising with the practice being glorified on international television.
Do You Only Party With Red Solo Cups?
Yes, actually, because we secretly love your foreign beer but that would look too unpatriotic so we pour it in a red cup. When they fall for that line, you can tell yourself it has nothing to do with a certain country song. Or, you know, maybe it’s because keggers are great. For that reason, we need our $2.4 billion dollars of red solo cups.
Why Do You Tip Your Servers?
Because it’s common courtesy? Wait a minute, why do we tip servers? Is the option to not pay a server what he or she deserves to make up for two dollars an hour really a thing? Foreigners may actually have this one right.
Do All Texans Wear Cowboy Hats?
That ain’t true. Naw, only at them rodeos. Well, I guess in the land of the free, and the home of Professional Bull Riding and “real” football, were proud of our dudes in cowboy hats.
Do You Know What Real Football Is?
To say Americans “play” sports is just not true. In order to even bat an eye at your sport, we have to (either) steal the rest of the world’s best players or steal the name of another sport that has little to do with our sport minus “ball was involved with my foot injury and that’s the least of my health worries.”
When Do You NOT Have Fireworks?
If we could have fireworks every night, we freaking would, because they are awesome. And with 238 million pounds to work through in 2007, no wonder we have enough fireworks for just about whenever we choose to shoot them off.
You Call That a Diet?
With entire isles dedicated to food that never expires, Americans have until now been secretly stocking the shelves with calorie laden items with unlimited survival potential come the zombie apocalypse. Outside of this awesome fact, we also have more health and whole food sections than we can bat a thousand taste buds at.
Why Is Your Healthcare a Mess?
SighÉWell, um—at least weÉuhh. Please, no more. The average American spends over $8,000 on healthcare per year, totaling almost three trillion dollars overall. At this rate, I literally can’t even afford my stress relief payments right now.
Do You Eat Ketchup With Everything?
In the realm of condiments, ketchup definitely stands out as the go-to for Americans. After all, it’s a fruit and that makes it healthy right? In reality, the amount of nutritional benefits found in ketchup makes us wonder why the average American consumes 71 pounds of ketchup per year.
Do You Eat Spray Cheese From the Can?
OK, so here’s the deal: it pretty much comes down to “spray cheese is the vilest substance known to humans” or “OMG IT’S THE SECOND COMING OF SPRAY CHEEZUS” upon the realization that yes, there is in fact another spray cheese bottle in the cabinet we previously didn’t know existed. This dilemma aside, Americans do consume 33 pounds of “cheese products” per year.
Where's Your Plastic Surgery?
While American’s aren’t the only source of personal image pressures and perfectionism, 15 million of us went for some kind of plastic surgery in 2012. But hey, now we have body parts that will never grow old, howsabout that?
Are You Patriotic?
OF COURSE I AM YOUÉoh, trick question. Well, you got us. While patriotism isn’t necessarily something all of us boast, the view of the younger generation towards patriotism in America is dwindling. Just 32% of Millennials believe America is the greatest country in the world.