A stepdad faced a dilemma with his stepdaughter and her eating habits. Granted, they're habits that stem from her food allergies but the stepdad thinks she is taking things too far. What do you think?
"This sounds bad, but hear me out. My stepdaughter is an absolute pain in the neck when it comes to food. She has legitimate and not mild allergies, but most of them aren't common things, so every single meal at a restaurant, no matter what she would get, would need several modifications. With so many special requests, something is always going to be wrong. I understand that, my wife understands that, and probably on some level she does too, but it is an entire event every time.
She ends up acting like the restaurant is personally trying to kill her. She of course has to send it back, but spirals into a breakdown and won't eat what ever they bring back anyway because it "isn't safe", regardless of what the truth is anymore. It makes the entire meal a nightmare for everyone including the restaurant workers. The younger kids end up having their food go cold because they can't eat with the drama going on and they don't know what to do.
I finally broke and told her and my wife, while we were all together as a family, that she would just have to stop getting food when we went out and that she needs to just wait until we get home. Restaurants don't like having people bring outside food, I think it looks really rude anyway, and she just eats later at home anyway due to these episodes.
Not only that, but it is expensive as hell for her to do this. Basic meals that would comply are already not cheap, and it creates so much food waste, which I absolutely hate. My wife says that I don't understand what it's like to have to navigate food when you can't "just deal with it" like everyone else and a slight mistake can land you in the hospital, and that this makes her feel like she's less than and not part of the family. I just want to stop wasting money and food and have more quiet meals."
Most of the comments were definitely NOT on the stepdad's side. User lilymoscovitz felt that the stepdad wasn't doing enough for his stepdaughter:
"Are you freaking kidding me? Girl has legit food allergies which could kill her and rather than taking the time to review publicly available allergen information on restaurant websites, calling in advance or finding a restaurant that can accommodate her your solution is that she sit there and watch everyone eat? She didn’t choose to have food allergies or the resultant anxiety around it. You however are choosing to be a monumental a-hole."
Since the stepdad was concerned about how the restaurant staff was affected by his daughter demands, a user who is a chef decided to give their two cents:
"A quick note from a chef here:
As soon as there is a lot of allergies, that needs to be communicated through a chain (from guest to waiter through a computer to a chef) complicated and unusual allergies gets dangerous.
A few people that I know of has made little cards detailing their allergies (ranked in severity) that they can hand to the waiter, and as a chef, the few times I’ve gotten one of these, I’ve been so happy!
Minimal chance of things getting lost or misunderstood along the way and I know the list is exhaustive!
One guest I remember went in anyphlactic shock because he didn’t tell us about a squid/octopus allergy (we had no relevant seafood on the menu at that time) - but had some crisps on the menu coloured with octopus ink. He didn’t think it was worth bothering us.
So a little cardboard piece with all allergies is a wonderful thing - particularly if they are severe and/or unusual!
And if your allergies are severe/unusual - book in advance. All the time. Sorry, but you can’t be spontaneous if you’re allergic to citrus and all cereals at the same time."
