That’s your excuse? Jilted lovers tell all about the lame excuse their significant other has cheated on them. Content has been edited for clarity.
In Another World
“It was not wrong if it felt right. That was the title of an adult entertainment scene about cheating.
On the same note, I heard a variation of the felt right excuse by some idiot who I was friends with benefits. He hadn’t told me he had a girlfriend. But instead introduced said girlfriend to me as his ‘long time friend’ who had a crush on him but he absolutely ‘didn’t want her.’ And we both became friends to the point where I became her lead guitarist since she was a singer.
I, of course, started to suspect he was lying so I asked her to confirm his story and she burst into tears. She told me she was deeply in love with him and they had been dating on and off for three years and they were currently getting back together since they had been sleeping together too. I told her I didn’t care for the dude and I bowed out and told her I only cared we would stay friends regardless of what happened with the dude. We both confronted the dude and his only defense, more like offense, was and I quote:
“If I was in South Africa, I would be applauded for having you both”
He went to law school in South Africa for some context.
Anyways, it was enough for me to not even want to be friends with him again but I mourned a loss. She went back to this dude and cut me off. I felt so bad because I could see she was just a woman madly in love and infatuated. And he was a man who saw a source of convenience and took it.
She was paying his car note and bought him an iPhone and everything else since he was still looking for a job just after passing his bar. This was five years ago. Whenever I thought of her over the years, I felt sad and hopeful. Maybe it all worked out and he genuinely grew to love her. They got married.
A month ago, my mom who was a close family friend to the dude’s dad, told me they were both in court. He hit her and she took him to court. They were in the process of divorce. I was glad she found her voice. The irony was her voice was amazing and powerful as a singer. I also heard from my mom she had an album out and she was touring. I was so so happy for her. As long as she was okay.
A part of me went ‘Suck it (insert name of lawyer/wife beater)’.
His dad was like a cool uncle to my fam though. Don’t know where this idiot’s inconsiderate behavior came from.”
A Trip On The Wild Side
“I was once friends with this girl in college. She was dating this guy who I was also friends with and they seemed to get along really well. We all met up with a couple more friends on Friday evenings to grab dinner and hang out and I had never detected any kind of drama or problems between them.
Months went by and she came to me one day between classes and wanted to talk to me about ‘issues’ she and her boyfriend were having. She said she slept with another ‘friend’ of hers and her boyfriend got mad.
All I said was, ‘Yeah, he has good reason to be upset, you cheated on him.’
I asked her why she did that and she said her boyfriend was ‘too nice’ and she wanted to try dating a ‘bad boy’ type because she thought he would be more fun in bed.
Her boyfriend would probably take a bullet for her. He was kind and did all these really nice things for her and I reminded her about that. She said she liked what he did for her and stuff, but she wanted to experiment and she wasn’t sure why he was so upset over ‘a one-time thing.’
Needless to say, our friendship didn’t last much longer after that and neither did her relationship with her boyfriend. I hadn’t spoken to her in years, but I was still in contact with her boyfriend. He has a wonderful wife and family now so he eventually found the happiness he deserved.”
It’s Not Me, It’s You
“Eons ago I dated someone for a brief stint who ended up cheating on me. My roommate who was basically a brother from another mother, overheard her talking on the phone about how she was pregnant and it wasn’t mine. We hadn’t slept together in a month or so due to work stress taking me down and out paired with an injury from very vigorous lovemaking. She was certain it was her ex’s because she had been hooking up with him constantly on the side. She figured I was the better option though, so she wanted to pin the pregnancy to me.
So my friend confronted her and called her out. I got the update and came home from work to find her moved out. She straight up fled. The only awkward part was we worked together. Thankfully not in the same team or department so I could ignore her.
She called me a week or so after she split, and revealed she was about to get an abortion and was feeling regrets. She explained she wished it was my kid and was sorry for cheating. She also explained this wasn’t the first time she had done this exact thing in a relationship, and she wished I was there to hold her hand. I explained calmly if she had been upfront and honest, I most likely would have still been her friend, but never again her partner. And I would have helped her where I could. Even my roommate would have. We were softies that way, plus I grew up with a single mom taking care of me. So I understood some of the struggles.
Then suddenly, she told me in the same regretful tone, that it was my fault she had cheated. I was driving to work and I remember feeling the cold settle into my body and run through my blood. It took a lot to get me angry. I had a five-mile fuse. But when she explained it was my fault she got bored and went to a party and got wasted. And why she hooked up with her ex with no protection. She continued to do so for almost a month until she got pregnant, I think I understood what vibe people were going for when someone falls to the dark side. The anger, the hate, the disbelief.
I bellowed and yelled in a voice I had never managed since I told her in no plain words her infidelity was not my fault and there was no world in which she can pin the blame on me. She tried to defend herself by saying I wasn’t thinking about her, That this was unfair. She cheated because she was afraid of ‘messing up’, and when I again said loudly, coldly, and in a tone, I was pretty certain could be heard by elephants in Africa, she was to never attempt to justify her cheating on me again. She hung up.
I never talked to her again, and good riddance to her. She tried to ruin my work reputation and when the real story came out she ended up ostracized along with her only supporter, who interestingly enough was also known for cheating on his spouse.”
“We were engaged, on my birthday, before he left to study in Europe. I had found some spicy Reddit screenshots about a month in, on a joint Google Drive we used to share pictures of our happenings. He must have saved them there by mistake.
When confronted, he first lied. He repeatedly said he didn’t know what I was talking about and he didn’t know what was going on with me. And then I said I literally had the photos in my possession.
He said, ‘That’s not me!’
I read them to him. He had said where he was staying, what he was studying and any other details some random person wouldn’t know. And I asked if he really thought I was so dumb I believed it was another history major, who liked politics, was studying in the same town as him and also from our city.
Then he finally reasoned, ‘Well we’re not talking on the phone very much [there was a big time difference, but we texted a lot] and I thought maybe you were mad at me? Also, do you know how much I get bullied online? Everyone hates me.’
I just thought, whoa there was way more going on here than I could handle. I said bye, to him. I told him how I would think about it, even though I knew it was over, and then broke up with him the next morning.
Funny thing is that I just got married two weeks ago to the love of my life. Dodged a bullet for sure. I am so happy now.”
“I don’t think it was technically cheating, but I was there to witness it in person. My friend and his girlfriend were not doing well relationship-wise. I was on friendly terms with both of them. They came to a party together, and that was the last thing they ever did as a couple. Their fight started at home, through the car ride, and was hitting its peak as they arrived at the party.
There was yelling, and a whole crowd of us witnessed him saying, ‘You know what? Forget you. We’re done. Find another way home.”
So she yelled, “Fine! Forget you, don’t ever talk to me again.’
So they went their separate ways and got their drink on. She was getting pretty hammered and seemed to want more fighting. She was practicing stuff she could say. I was hanging around nearby, and I told her I understood, but it was a bad idea to go about it wasted. I advised her to take some time to cool off, be the bigger person, and don’t cause a scene.
Meanwhile, he was a free man and was hitting it off with another girl. They headed up to an extra room, and the thinkable happened. Somebody told the former girlfriend that she had just seen him head upstairs with a girl. And the former girlfriend decided now was the time to rip into him.
I was following behind saying, ‘Hey, this is a bad idea. This can’t end well.’
She was hearing none of it and had been drinking with a vengeance. She got upstairs with me following close behind. She opened the door and flipped on the light. He was bare on top of a bare girl. They both turned to look at her, still linked together at the crotch.
He said, ‘Uhhhhhh… It’s not what it looks like.’
I wasn’t expecting that. He saw me process it and turned red trying not to laugh. He and the new girl started laughing. I started laughing which caused the former girlfriend to start bawling. She thought we were all laughing at her, and ran off. She had refused to speak to me since. Honestly. Not what it looks like? Bro. Your member was inside her. It could only be what it looked like!”
“So it was not me, but my own mother was cheated on by her now ex. His excuse for sleeping with my mom’s so-called ‘friend’, a woman I used to have friendly conversations with under our own roof, was my mom already cheated. His proof? My mum was in a photo with her best friend and her brother. It was apparently enough evidence to be certain of her being unfaithful.
Of course, he only said this after my mom, brothers, and I had become suspicious of his behavior, especially around mom’s so-called friend. So he started switching the accusations saying my mom was the guilty one using the picture as his reasoning. He left but unfortunately, my mom was a broken woman and wanted him back. At this point, I think he couldn’t decide who he wanted to spend the rest of his sad life with. So he went back to my mom for a few days here and there, then left in the early hours. He wrote notes for us to see in the morning still accusing our mom. But my mother couldn’t let him go and I knew he was the one doing something wrong I could sense it. I had that strong gut feeling we get in these types of situations. There were arguments over his presence not being wanted around. My household became very hostile and my mom was paranoid during this stage when she let him back in. But she started arguments, and looked through his phone. All the avoidable stuff had she just let him go but she was deeply in love with this man who helped raise me and my brothers for 12 years. But he was not the same man we knew years prior.
Anyway, things were really depressing and messy but reality hit my mom on Valentine’s day 2019. A couple of days before he left in the early hours again he started promising my mom he loved her and would be there on Valentine’s day. He didn’t show and my mom was an emotional wreck. She said she was going to drive to the so-called friends to confront her, and if our suspicions were true, then him too. But she was in no fit state to be driving, so me and one of my mother’s true friends all went to find out once and for all what was going on. My mom jumped over the so-called friend’s fence and started banging on her door. Lo and behold my stepdad answered and the so called friend cowered inside. This didn’t stop the narcissistic piece of poop ‘man’ from still making up lies and blaming my mom. All while claiming his innocence, saying he never was cheating. That she was his so-called friend too, despite being at her house in his dressing gown on the yearly day of love celebration.
It was a very hard moment in my family’s lives in all honesty but looking back it taught me a lot. And it has shown me how not to act as a man, how far narcissists really would go to cover their own behind with lies, and no matter how long you have known someone or trusted them it didn’t mean they weren’t willing to stab you and everyone in the back to get what they wanted. My favorite thing that came from all this though was how my mother finally saw him for what he was. A few months back he told someone my mom knew how much he regretted it and hated life now with the so called friend. But the grass ain’t always greener nimrod.”
“God, what a weird night it was. I had been dating this gal in college for a couple of months. I was finally meeting most of her friends for the first time. We all went out for dinner, and drinks on the town for her 21st. Half the night went really well. Great even. She seemed happy. I was getting along famously with all her friends and felt like I was making a good impression. One of her more blunt friends even said how he was sort of dreading meeting me since her usual taste has been scumbags.
He said, ‘Dude, you’re awesome!’
And I liked all of them, too. It was like I was gaining a new group of cool people, as well as a cool relationship. Really great.
Then her lab partner showed up.
A guy who she has described to me as, ‘I don’t like being in the same room with him, he thoroughly creeps me out, says creepy stuff all the time. If anyone in the class has bodies buried in their yard, it’s definitely him.’
She proceeded to get super flirty with him, nearly completely ignored me, and eventually walked off with him, hand in hand. I watched them round a corner into an alley. I followed them to the end of the alley to confirm that, sure enough, there they were, all over each other. I said her name a couple of times. I guess she was a little too involved to hear, so I just walked away. I walked past her friends and told them what I saw. How they looked was hard to describe. Disappointed, I guess, but also mixed with this intense awkwardness. Like, you know your friend just did something really wrong, but they were still your friend. And even though you liked this other person that they had wronged, you really only just met them, so… just sucks.
The same blunt dude was like, ‘I’m really sorry, man, you don’t deserve that. She’s just… I mean… I don’t know, man, fudge.’
I shrugged in frustration and said, ‘It was really nice meeting y’all. All of you folks were really cool. Nice knowing you,’ and left.
She called about 30 minutes after I got home, wondering why I had left. I told her what I saw, and that we were done. I only heard the ‘But it’s my birthday’ line because she was yelling it as I hung up the phone.”
“Well, she slept with my boss and others for over a year. She told me it was my fault because I checked out and she wasn’t happy. I could take the blame for her not being happy. Many years later she tried to tell me that the first time with my boss she was hammered and it was a mistake. She forgot she told me she continued to go to his house months after that. And then many more years later she would tell my daughter I abandoned them and she had to be a strong single mom because I didn’t help.
Well, now my daughter was smart and realized her mom lied to her for years and really caused issues in our relationship because of the negative things she said about me. Her mom recommended therapy so she and I could talk things out. Her therapist pointed out her mom’s manipulation. Now we are great and she hates her mom. Luckily her mom just moved many states away and my daughter stayed to go to college. Our relationship has never been better.
And even after all this, I had not told her about why her mom and I split. I told her someday when she’s 25, maybe. And I was still trying to help repair her relationship with her mom because at some point I think it will be important for her.”
One Too Many
“I never actually got an excuse, aside from outright denial. Three times I was cheated on.
First one, she had been groomed by this guy since she was 14. He was in his mid-thirties and was a family friend. He kept telling her that her parents were the cause of all her problems and how he would save her from them. She showed me the letters. I caught them sleeping together at his place after he came down from up north on a Greyhound bus. I think he was probably being released from jail. She and I were both 17 then, so I called her dad and they called the police. She got tested and everything by the police. She did not speak to me again for many years. We had friends in common though, so we eventually became acquaintances after the dust settled. But I would never consider her a real friend of mine.
The second time I found her in bed with a guy in lingerie and her female anatomy hanging out. I had been given a tip by the guy’s friend about what was going on and surprised them one night. I had a key to her place. I simply left my key on her table and locked the door on the way out. She denied everything later, but I also found out she had been giving a second guy other benefits. There was likely a third guy she was also sleeping with. I totally blocked her out of my life. Some years later she sent me an obligatory apology letter from a love-addicts group where she admitted the truth.
The third, and last, she denied it at first until I got her to unlock her phone and I saw her conversation. She had been acting super suspect for a while. She didn’t think I would find it because she used a third-party app and it didn’t show up in her regular texts.
Then she said, ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you like this.’
She didn’t see me as good enough for her because of my job at the time and she was raised in an extremely wealthy household. I was lower middle-class. She wanted to continue the relationship because I made her happy and she was extremely pleased with me.
My wife is very happy with me now, for anyone wondering.”
“I had a girl message me telling me my boyfriend was cheating on me and tried to hook up with her. I knew it was wrong, but I went through his social media messages with her when he left it up and I confronted him about it. He told me he was only messaging her to prove that I was reading his messages.
I was in my early twenties at the time and sadly he successfully gaslit me and made me feel like I was crazy. We stayed together.
One time before we lived together, I was over at his house and someone had written in chalk on his driveway ‘I love (insert boyfriends name).’
I asked who it was and he told me he didn’t know and it was probably a random stranger. A random stranger knew your name? He started getting defensive and told me it might be a neighbor or something and he didn’t have control over who wrote something.
I was with him for four and a half years. We finally broke up and he moved out with a girl he was cheating on me with. They got engaged and he cheated on her with one of her sisters. Another one of her sisters walked in on it.”