After reading these folks’ comments on kids at weddings, you tell us what you think. Have you had a bad experience with a flower girl throwing up on the wedding aisle? How about a baby screaming right as the vows are about to start? And are any of these worse than when someone forgets to turn off their cell phone during the ceremony? You tell us! This content has been edited for clarity.
The Comment That Started It All
Children or no children? This is the question many people are trying to answer as we enter wedding season. One commenter had an illumination experience at his brother’s wedding. And it started the debate on whether kids should be in attendance. Here’s his story.
“So my brother’s wedding was this weekend and I was the best man. Part of my duties was to collect the rings from the bride’s nephew as he ‘walked’ up the aisle. The kid is less than one and can’t walk so the parents pretty much carry him by the hands. This freaking mom suggested I hold her freaking baby during the whole ceremony so he ‘could be part of it’ when the whole Invitation was only to appease the bride’s mother. The bride and Mombie don’t even talk because my bro and the bride are also close friends. Despite a clear discussion by everyone involved at the rehearsal about how this wasn’t happening, this brat walks down the aisle and tries to hand me her freaking kid. Like are you actually that self-centered?! The kid fell flat on his face after I took the rings but didn’t grab him when she practically threw him at me.
And somehow I am the bad guy?! The bride’s extended family was talking all night about how I’m some monster and an attention hog. Your kid isn’t special and you’re not special because you forgot to pull out, you muppet!”
Who was in the right? Should he have let the kid fall? Many people had their own opinions on how this should have gone down. However, it seemed like the consensus was NO KIDS.
The Nerve Of These Parents!
So much chaos happened at this wedding it’s a wonder it actually happened at all. And of course the real problem? The kids. Even the photographer was having issues with the children causing mayhem. As if we need any more proof for the no-kids side of the argument!
“This happened at my friend’s wedding last night! One of the three flower girls threw a tantrum at the start of the aisle.
The ring bearer was a little boy, no more than two, who couldn’t get up the stairs and he face planted. Rather than either of his parents going to help him, they start yelling at their two seven-year-old sons to help their brother but they picked him up by the legs and the ceremony was briefly stopped to yell at the kids. While giving the rings to the bride and groom, some random kid in the audience started screaming bloody murder and the mom refused to remove him because ‘I’ll miss the most important part!’
The nerve of these parents!
And to add some details for you. The bride wasn’t really interested in the kids being there at all. However, she comes from a huge family and community, and she was bound by various rules and expectations to have the kids in the ceremony and also at the reception where there was an open bar (no tickets, I mean completely open and bottomless for all guests).
The father of the seven-year-olds and the two-year-old was one of the groomsmen. He took one of his seven-year-olds with us on the bridal party limo where the kid was loud and obnoxious. The dad kept giving him adult beverages. Not to mention, the photographer was getting fed up with him because he kept photobombing the pictures and the dad refused to keep him in check. In fact, the dad said to all of us, ‘oh, my son is always getting in trouble! I just don’t know what to do but boys will be boys.’
While the older brothers picking up the little one by the legs was hilarious (I may be close friends but I actually love kids) this was a long ceremony. The women were hurting standing up at the front and so was the bride, so the break to yell at the kids was very unwelcome by us ladies. Our feet were killing.
One of the kids demanded to dance next to the bride during the reception and ripped her dress which I had to fix. The bride kept her cool but in the bridal suite was exclaiming how upset she was. Oh, and someone said something along the lines of how horrible it is to have kids ruining a wedding worth thousands of dollars. Put that number in the six digits and imagine having kids ruin that.”
If a kid ripped my wedding dress, there would be more fanfare than just a quick meltdown in the bridal suite! How she didn’t make them leave immediately confounds me! And as if we need any more proof as to why kids are a no-go, we’ve got some more weddings ahead where kids were the center of attention instead of the bride.
This commenter went to respond to our first story. They go as far as to say what they’ll be doing at their own future nuptials due to their experiences at two weddings: one with kids and one without.
“In regards to your brother’s wedding yikes. Mombie, that’s exactly the problem, deal with your kid because now everyone else (including the bride and groom who are definitely the most important ones there) are missing the most important part because of your screaming howler monkey.
All of them and more though, is why I plan to at my future wedding have it completely child-free, with no kids at all, and have a few plainclothes security guards at the door to act as baby bouncers (aka. ‘oh you tried to bring your kid or group of kids, how about no’ to older cousins with four kids each). It’s needed because I really don’t trust them to behave.
Somewhat recently I went to two different weddings and the vibe between the two was totally different, first one was for my younger cousin (who she likes kids, so of course, the entire family was invited, including all the kids) well those two older cousins were the MCs for the reception, and they decided to do a song guessing game to decide which table would go next to get food. The only reason the kids’ table got to go as early as they did is because they requested baby shark to be played, then they played the song the entire way through. Holy cow that song is terrible. Plus it seemed like they were these obscure songs that most of us haven’t even heard of, my table used Shazam to cheat our way to food.
The second wedding was for my brother’s best friend, and the vibe was completely different. Only about 70 people, no kids, both red and white vino on every table as well as an open bar (two tickets per person, after that it’s up to you if you want to buy more drinks). However, because there were no kids, drinks were available. Delicious food, no stupid game to get food, just take turns after the previous table has gone (basically all went in number order based on which table we were at, worked great)”
The evidence is in and we have a verdict. It is clear weddings without kids present are all-around better. However, are there some exceptions? And who are the exceptions made for? Are some weddings just better for kids? And what should the parents do with their kids if they aren’t allowed to come? So many questions, so many responses.
It Was Me, I Was The Kid
This commenter had a personal anecdote to share. They were the child present for the nuptials. However, it didn’t go as you might assume.
“I attended a wedding with my parents when I was pretty young. Probably around five. I didn’t understand that weddings weren’t simply just a quick ‘I do’, before running back outside for the part where I got to throw confetti at them. I started to fidget and make noise and my Dad took me straight back to the car, once I’d disobeyed the first warning to be quiet. I probably made a fuss about missing out, but my parents weren’t going to let me make a racket during the couple’s big day. They made the right decision, and it baffles me that some other parents don’t do that.”
Why can’t more parents be exactly like this? If children are allowed at a wedding (or any major event for that matter) once they start acting out, they get removed. It seems to easy for this many parents to be messing it up. Do they not realize they are interfering with one of the most important days of this couple’s lives? I am baffled!
Some Even Didn’t Come
Hard and fast rules are the only way to make absolutely certain you have a childless wedding. Easier said than done. However, there are exceptions. The only people who can make these exceptions though are the bride and groom. Why are guests so sure they can bend the rules just because they are friends or family? They do know the rest of the guests are also family and friends right?
“This is why at my wedding I put my foot down hard that anyone under the age of 18 was not invited. We made a single exception for a guest who let me stay with her and her well-behaved son rent-free for a few months before the wedding (and they didn’t even show up). It was on the invitations, it was on the wedding site, it was repeated again and again to all relevant parties: Your children are not necessary or welcome here. We are not paying $45 per plate and having an open bar and live music all night so your crotch goblins can not eat the food provided, ruin photos, and be a distraction during the ceremony because they can’t put their phones away for two flipping minutes. My little cousins are awful kids by and large and do not know how to behave at a wedding. Kids get bored at weddings, kids do not wish to be at weddings, they do not want to sit around in uncomfortable clothing eating food they don’t like while adults have conversations they want no part in. Get them a babysitter, buy them a pizza, let them hang at home for the night instead of dragging them to ruin someone else’s super important day.
A few relatives decided not to come (which is fine, I didn’t really want to invite them anyway), some decided to come and thankfully left the kids at home. My mom was a bit upset about it and I just explained to her that we already told my wife’s family that no kids were coming and I don’t want to cause drama. Plus I don’t want to dish out additional money, energy, etc sucking up to the parents of a bunch of kids I actively dislike, and that I did not have room for them at our small ceremony. (My mom was incredibly dense about this. My wife and I had 50 guests each we could invite, I asked my mom if she had any requests for specific people that she felt it was mission-critical to have at the ceremony [and not at the large reception afterward] and she handed me a list of 45 people then asked: ‘who are you inviting?’
I told her ‘if I went with your list, apparently freaking nobody is getting invited that I actually want there.’
I don’t like my mom’s family, I made it abundantly clear, and she and her awful siblings had to just suck it up and either get a babysitter or not come at all.
My wedding day went great, I got told by nearly half the guests that it was the most fun wedding they had ever been to. I married an incredible woman during a perfect ceremony, and people could loosen up a bit more because we didn’t have to collectively babysit a bunch of terrible kids.”
This is a prime example of everything going wrong in order for it to be perfect. People complaining, throwing fits, even though it’s not even their wedding day. And then it’s a perfect event because the right decisions were made. My only question is should the families be responsible for finding a babysitter for their kids, or should the bride/groom provide childcare? Maybe it depends on the number of children not being invited? What do you think?
There are exceptions to every rule and we see that here. Some brides want children present. Although it’s usually just a certain number or a certain few specific kids invited.
“The only children invited to my wedding are my cousins, whom I love dearly – and the youngest of which will be seven years old. All the rest will be pre-teens or teens and I know for a fact they know how to behave. They went to my college graduation when the youngest was maybe two and I didn’t hear a peep from them because their parents raised them to sit still and be quiet when it was necessary.
One of my cousins and his wife are expecting their first child five months before I get married and I’m going to make it very clear that the infant will not be welcome. If that means they (or the wife) don’t come, that’s fine. I’d rather they decide it’s not worth it than bring an infant to my wedding.
I get annoyed hearing children scream/cry at a restaurant so I know I’ll be upset if I have to hear it throughout my ceremony.”
Maybe there should be an age rule for weddings. Maybe anyone under 16 shouldn’t be able to come? Or is that too old? Maybe any child under 10 who will be destructive and interrupt the ceremony shall not pass?
And They Lived Happily Ever After
In the end, it will be the bride and groom’s decision whether children will be present at their wedding. However, I think the case stands: weddings without kiddos are more fun and less stressful. If you were to get married soon, what would you say? Would there be an age restriction? How about well-mannered kids you know, are you going to make an exception for them? How would you stand up for yourself when it comes to making this decision since it seems to affect more than just the bride and groom.
One thing is for sure, don’t let anyone make your wedding day about anyone but you and your partner. And please for the love of all good things, at least have a rule about babies and cell phones.