If you thought mothers-in-law were annoying to deal with under normal circumstances, then just read these stories from pregnant women battling it out with MILs.
“Honey, I Feel Uncomfortable When Your Mom Puts Her Mouth On My Stomach.”
“I’ll take ‘Statements I never thought I would make for $500, Alex (RIP).’
I’m about six months pregnant with my first baby. The first grandchild for both my husband and my parents so everyone is over the moon.
Ever since we told the family I’m pregnant, MIL has been very touchy and affectionate. Rubbing my belly all over every single time we see each other and baby talking to her grandchild. Now I really don’t mind family touching my belly occasionally but I’m cool with like a quick pat, hey little one. Not the straight-up gropefest I get from MIL. But I never made her stop, not wanting to rock the boat. Until…
The most recent visit, before MIL and FIL left for the night, we are hugging bye and MIL SWOOPS down and wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her lips to my belly and laying down several big smooches. I can FEEL her lips against my skin through my dress. ‘Goodnight baby, grandma loves you, etc etc.’ My husband met my horrified expression over her head. They left and I could feel the wet spot against my skin! I turned to my husband and said the aforementioned statement to him.
‘I love your mom but honey, it makes me uncomfortable when she puts her mouth on my stomach.’ He shuffles and shrugs. He’s always talked about what a warm and close family they are.
‘It’s a cultural thing. She’s just excited.’
‘But what if my mom did that to you?!’
‘Well it’s different, you have a baby in there.’
‘Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t make my body public property.’
Obviously, I have to handle this myself. I love me some boundaries. The next morning after breakfast they are leaving to drive back home and she goes for it AGAIN. I’m ready and I intercept her arms. ‘Pardon me, but this makes me uncomfortable. I’d prefer a hug.’ We hug awkwardly and they leave, apparently no worse for the wear. Haven’t heard any fallout yet.
I feel proud of myself for asserting this boundary. Husband’s family is from a different culture and I know things are different for them, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept everything. I’ve already learned their language and customs to a pretty good level if I do say so myself. Who knows what boundaries I’ll need to enforce on behalf of this baby?”
That Doesn’t Sound Good For The Baby
“I’m currently pregnant with my first child. I’m in my second trimester. A few weeks ago we spent some time with MIL and my partner’s grandmother. His grandmother said something like ‘You don’t look like you have gained any weight, are you okay?’ I said ‘Honestly, I’ve been pretty sick so it’s hard to gain weight, but I’m doing okay.’ grandma says ‘That sounds really difficult, I’m sorry to hear that.’
MIL says ‘Well that doesn’t sound very good for the baby.’ Already I’m a little thrown off, because obviously if I could gain weight I would. It’s not like I was just like ‘forget this baby, I’m gonna throw up all my food instead.’
I said ‘Well, fortunately, they have me on some medication that is helping so I haven’t been losing weight anymore,’
MIL says ‘They let you take medication?? That can’t be safe for the baby!’
I just said, ‘Well, my doctor thinks it’s safer than what I was doing before, which was losing 10 pounds a week.’
Basically, nothing I do is right and I hate my baby no matter what I do.”
“Stay Away From The WiFi,” Says The Crazy MIL
“My mother-in-law called me just last night to tell me how she heard this psychologist speak about how WiFi and pesticides are causing autism and ADD in boys (not girls, apparently). She wants me to spend all my money on organic produce and somehow ‘stay away from WiFi’ now.
Theoretically, I’d already been eating all organic, but I just can’t afford that stuff. And this psycho person apparently had no realistic strategies for ‘avoiding WiFi,’ or at least not any that she comprehended. What’s annoying about it is that she wouldn’t care about the environment if it weren’t for the threat of having an autistic grandson. She also spouted off a bunch of incorrect and kind of offensive things about autism and really just made herself sound like a moron in a tinfoil hat.
She also insisted that the reason her four sons aren’t autistic is that she and my father-in-law aren’t from ‘big cities’ like the one her son and I live in. For the record, my father-in-law is from the same place I am, and my mother-in-law didn’t exactly grow up out on the farm. Not to mention that all of her kids were conceived and raised in Philadelphia. Before WiFi was a thing.
Then she asks about my older kids, and I mention that my 4-year-old daughter has been kind of tantrum-y lately. My mother-in-law proceeds to inform me that it’s really because she’s afraid I won’t pay attention to her after the baby is born. Her proof is that she once overheard one of her first-grade students making a comment to that effect. When I point out that my kid has been nothing but excited about the idea of having a new sibling, my mother-in-law continues to insist that she senses my impending bad parenting.”
WHY Does She Still Have That Thing?
Mother-in-law: ‘Don’t buy ANYTHING for the baby until the baby shower.’
Me: ‘Well, I don’t want to wait that long. I would rather get prepared bit by bit over the pregnancy. Plus, there are some things my husband and I want to buy ourselves.’
MIL: ‘Buy yourself? Like what?’
ME: ‘A milk pump is one thing. We want to pick our own.’
MIL: ‘I have an old pump downstairs you can have.’ Her youngest child is 23. WHY she still has a pump from that long ago is beyond me.
Me: ‘Oh, no thank you. We want to pick our own.’
MIL: ‘It’s just better if you don’t even pump. Just take the baby with you everywhere.’
Me: ‘Well, I’m not going to do that either. What if I want to go out or what if my husband wants to feed?’
MIL: rolls eyes
I also told her a story about how I had my first awkward belly patting experience. I literally said, ‘I had my first awkward, inappropriate belly patting experience the other day!’
Her response: ‘Oh that means I can do it now!’ Then she proceeds to put her hand on my belly, and then followed me with her hand on my stomach while I walked away.
BUT WHERE IS THE BABY GOING TO SLEEP?!
Me: ‘I’m pregnant.’
MIL: ‘Oh great so can we give you this grotty 30-year old crib we used for your husband and his brother?’
Me: ‘No freaking way.’
MIL: ‘Oh okay, well just let us know what you need.’
Me: ‘Nothing right now, thanks.’
MIL: ‘So do you guys have a crib yet because we’d love to gift you this disgusting bassinet.’
Me: ‘Yep have the crib, nope throw that thing away.’
MIL: ‘But where is the baby going to sleep?’
Me: ‘……in the crib……’
MIL: ‘Well what do you guys have already or still need? We’re happy to bring this (ugly) bassinet out when we see you next month.’
Me: ‘Forget you.’
The week after that:
MIL: ‘BUT WHERE IS THE BAAAABY GOING TO SLEEP, YOU JUST CAN’T PUT THEM STRAIGHT INTO THE CRIB THEY ARE WAY TOO SMALLLLLL AT FIRST!!!”
My husband: ‘FOR GOODNESS SAKE MOM WE ARE PUTTING THE BABY IN THE CRIB, WHERE BABIES GO! DO NOT BRING THAT THING OUT HERE!!!”
Me: “If she brings it out here I am burning it.’
The next week:
MIL: ‘So we’re packing the car; should we pack the bassinet?’
MIL Tried To Control Her Pregnancy
“Hold on to your diapers babies because this is a long story.
It started when I found out I was pregnant. My MIL was very overbearing and controlling. She didn’t listen to me when I politely asked for her not to announce I was pregnant seeing as I was five weeks along and didn’t announce I was pregnant yet. She announced it anyway. When we found out the gender we asked again for her not to announce anything until we did and again she didn’t listen. She stated that my gyno was not good enough and I should find a new one and the hospital I was set to deliver at wasn’t good enough, even the name we picked out wasn’t good enough. She wanted us to go to her local hospital instead of a better one (they’re both a 35-40 minute drive) because in the event of an emergency it’s more convenient for her to go to the closer one because she wouldn’t want to drive to the better hospital.
It got to the point where my partner and I distanced ourselves from her because we felt as though we couldn’t make up our own minds or run our own lives.
When we decided to do that everything pretty much blew up. His family attacked him multiple times on social media. They called me a floozy and other names. MIL threatened to disown him. So to the point that we both removed them completely from our lives.
And then our daughter was born. He was feeling emotional and wanted to give his family another shot. I didn’t want to because of everything they put us through. But after a month I agreed she could go over. I just said there would be boundaries and as long as she doesn’t overstep that she could visit once a month starting out and we can see where it goes. I stayed home because I have no desire to have a relationship with them.
On the third and most recent visit, they didn’t tell him they were experiencing Corona symptoms prior to coming over. (Not here to debate the Rona. Just wish they would have been honest with us). When they got tested (the day after he visited) they told him but made it seem like it was for work and it was no biggie. Now his mom and sister have it. His dad and niece have yet to get tested but since they all live together they will most likely test positive as well.
MIL texted him after he got off the phone arguing with his sister that we just need to get tested, stay home, and relax because everyone will get it at some point.
I’m fuming as in awaiting the results of my 2 1/2-month-old’s test to come back. I told SO she was no longer allowed to visit, but I’m scared that might have been too far or too much. Am I being irrational?”
Pregnant During COVID And The In-Laws Could Care Less
“I’m. So. Frustrated.
My Mom is usually fine but has slowly descended into JN territory.
They (Mom and Dad) are our bubble. They are our support system. They are the reason I am not completely losing my mind with a toddler and now an infant during COVID.
My Mom is all talk about how safe and careful she’s being but in reality she’s out and about every day, meeting up with neighbors for Moscato, and generally living her life. If you ever question this she flies into a complete rage about how much she does for us and NOBODY is more careful than her. She’s truly delusional.
Leading up to my due date, the plan was that they would take the toddler when I went into labor. The DAY BEFORE THAT HAPPENED my mom casually brought up that she was meeting a friend to go for a walk. I kindly asked if she absolutely HAD to meet with a friend this week because our city is in a red zone and I’m about to have a baby and I’d really appreciate canceling any non-essential visits until a week that I was not having a child.
She responded with ‘I have to live my life. If that’s how you feel then take me off your list.’
Cool. Revoke your offer to watch my child While I’m in the hospital. Totally reasonable response.
Then she sent me a long-winded text about how I attacked her and threatened her. Um? Nope. None of that happened. I said, ‘Ok if that’s your choice that’s fine but I’ll have to make alternate plans for child care.’
She ended up eventually canceling her plans and thank god because I went into labor the next morning. The argument was generally dropped.
Now my infant is 3 weeks old.
There’s still tension when it comes to my asking them to be careful until my baby is at least 6 weeks old. I get a lot of eye-roll vibes and the other day she questioned me up and down because I had groceries delivered and she kept insinuating this was somehow irresponsible because did the delivery person wear gloves? Please.
Then yesterday we go over to their house for breakfast and after I take the toddler outside for a walk. She says she has some guy coming by to pick up bread which in my mind involves leaving said bread on the front step. No contact necessary.
Nope. I end up coming back from the walk early with the toddler and there my mom is chatting it up from two feet away with this complete stranger without any masks or respect for social distancing what so ever. She looked at me like she had been caught.
We left within ten minutes and I was TICKED OFF. You could tell she knew what was up.
I’m just so annoyed because after what happened the last time I called her on it, I don’t even want to deal with it. My husband wanted to reach out to her but I know it’ll just come back on me in the end.
I basically now am going to have to shut her out for the next three weeks minimum to keep us safe which means I have no bubble and no support and no outlet.
I’m so mad. Between her and MIL treating me like I’m crazy for asking them to not put my infant child at risk of COVID, it’s beyond frustrating. I feel like until they deliver an infant during these times they don’t get to judge me on trying to take precautions.”
She Wanted To Invite Her Husband’s Ex Over For Christmas…What?
“My MIL has never liked me, and it only seemed to get worse when I married her son, and now we have kids.
No matter the fact my husband’s ex cheated on him, MIL looks past it and acts like they are made for each other, and expects them to get back together.
It’s been 15 years since they were married, and you know surely they would have moved on, but not according to MIL, she is still extremely close with my husband’s ex and makes comments constantly about them getting back together.
I haven’t spoken to MIL since the summer where she made a comment, about our kids being raised by hubby’s ex. And how much an amazing mom she would be. Thankfully the kids don’t know her, even though MIL insists of them meeting an old friend of their dad’s.
Which my husband has told her won’t happen, because he isn’t friends, and he doesn’t want her around the kids.
MIL went around my husband and asked me directly if his ex could come over for Christmas at our house, telling me his ex wasn’t going home for Christmas, and MIL doesn’t want her to be alone on Christmas.
When I told her no, MIL literally cried and then went on about me being ungrateful, and how if it wasn’t for me they would still be together.
I don’t know how that would work out since the ex ruined their marriage and me and hubby meet three years later…”
She Gave Birth To Triplets But The MIL Was The Greatest Pain
“I gave birth to triplets and the worse pain was not from the birth, but from my mother-in-law. When she heard I was going to give birth to three babies, and the doctor said they were going to be girls, my mother-in-law was so happy and went on a rant on how she so happy to have someone give birth to some girls because she had only given birth to two sons. (She said this front of her son… my husband).
A couple of days before I gave birth, she came over with three pink bears that said, ‘It’s a girl.’ She told me this was something for the girls. I gave birth a couple days later to two girls and a boy.
When I get out of the hospital, my mother-in-law sees my two little girls and ask where the third girl is. I tell the girl is a boy. She didn’t look pleased by that, and said, ‘Are you sure that’s your kid and they didn’t switch your daughter for a boy?’ I think if my husband didn’t take me out of there fast, I would have strangled her.”
She Couldn’t Even Fake Being Happy For Them
“My husband and I just cleared 12 weeks with babe number two, we are pumped because I had a miscarriage this summer and we feel like we can finally embrace the fact that our little one will have a sibling next year.
We started talking about telling our families at Christmastime when I’ll be in my second trimester (thank you quarantine, I can hide already in the comfort of my own home).
Anyway, I’m remembering when we announced the first time when his mother acted borderline upset. At the time we had been married for two years, dating for four before that and both in our thirties. We’d suffered a miscarriage in our first year of marriage and took it hard but didn’t tell our families; when kids came up in conversation with the dang mother-in-law after our first anniversary (while we were house hunting) she encouraged us ‘not to rush anything.’ Right.
So, eager to share the news we wrapped a gift of an onesie and gummy bears because when we told them babe was the size of a gummy bear). His mom opened the onesie and just stared open-mouthed and I (excited and thought she would be too because duh grandbabies) said ‘So do you know what that means?’ And she said ‘um yeah.’ Father-in-law congratulates us and made conversation about the baby while his mother-in-law stayed stone-faced. As it turns out, she told my husband she was upset because his older brother by one year, who isn’t married and had barely been dating his GF, didn’t get to have the first baby. Yup. He’s older so apparently, she felt like we were stealing that opportunity from him.
While she rarely sees the little one, she does love him so hoping that round two is met with more genuine happiness for us… or even fake happiness would be fine, ha!”
The More The Merrier!
“So I had my 20-week scan today and we’ve kept the gender a secret until Xmas but we called both mothers to let them know that everything is okay although I need another scan in a couple of weeks to finish some checks because the baby was misbehaving.
While talking to my mother-in-law I mentioned the sonographer having a sore wrist and how I was sympathizing with her because she’s got to manipulate her wrist and push down with the magic wand (no idea what it’s called!), so when we were leaving I said ‘good luck with the next baby, I hope they behave!’ jokingly and she chuckled.
Well, my MIL couldn’t get her words out fast enough… ‘you’re not having any more!’
I’m 34 years of age and I’m happily married to my husband (29m). We own our own home and both work full time and adore our oldest (10).
My sister (33) is unemployed with three kids by three different men. She’s single and likely will be until the boys leave home.
My brother (29) is unemployed and homeless with rage issues and substance problems and he got his ‘friend’ pregnant.
… and yet I’m told I can’t have more than two!!!!!!! Madness!!!
We’ve already decided we’re having two together to make our brood three”
She Just Gave Birth But Somehow She’s The Villain Here
“My mother-in-law has been kind of tame on the baby front and was great my whole first pregnancy. The trouble came after my daughter was born.
For some background, I have MS and pregnancy really took a toll on my body. And I was living with my parents at the time because my husband was halfway through a six-month tour in Iraq. Delivery went fine. Both grandmas were my birthing coaches and my husband was allowed to listen to the whole horror show by phone. After the big show was over, my mother-in-law left, and that was the last I saw of her for weeks. No phone calls, texts, visits, nothing. She dropped off the face of the earth.
Until I get a rare phone call from my husband. He didn’t tear into me or was even remotely upset, but just mentioned that he called his mom just for a quick hello and she spent the entire call blubbering about how I’m hiding the baby from her and only allowing my parents near her.
Now, at this point I was over-tired, trying to fight off an MS relapse, and caring for a newborn. And now this woman is having a meltdown because I’m not packing up my crippled butt to bring my baby for a visit.
My husband was livid when I told him she hadn’t made one attempt to contact me at all, and then had the gall to run tattling to him like a whiny toddler. She’s always had an issue with me ‘hiding her grandbabies’ from her, but has quit being so vocal about it after the hundredth or so time of me explaining that it’s not my job to cultivate her relationship with my children.
The MIL Was “The Biggest Piece Of Trash” She’d Ever Met In Her Life
“When I was close to popping with baby #1, my mother-in-law was mentioning how she was taking her sister to have her vaccinations so she could see the baby. There was no way I would ever let this person be around my child. She’s a 50-year-old addict, lives with no running water and 50 cats, heavy drinker, smoker, and never worked a day in her life. Basically, just the biggest piece of trash I’ve ever met in my life. Up until that point, I had seen her at some of my husband’s family functions a handful of times and avoided her at all costs. My husband’s family is all a bunch of enablers and users, so to them, it’s nothing.
Anyway, after she says this I don’t even respond. My husband and I were both in agreement that his aunt would never be coming around us and the baby. Well, hours after I had the baby my in-laws visit us at the hospital and the woman has the nerve to bring up her sister. She says it’s okay because she had her vaccinations like we were talking about an animal or something. Again, I say nothing because I had just pushed out a human and I was tired.
We were in the hospital for a week because my son had some kind of illness, and it was all very scary and spiraled me into the postpartum depression I dealt with for months after. My mother-in-law brings up her sister, again. At this point, I had enough and told her no. She, of course, was furious about this but dropped it.
A couple of months later, it was Mother’s Day. We had a BBQ at my house with my family and in-laws. We are sitting outside and my mother-in-law said that her mother was going to come.
All of a sudden, I see the addict sister’s car rolling down my driveway. I see red. My mother-in-law was holding the baby, so I get up and grab him. My mother-in-law is furious and says, ‘she hasn’t seen him yet!’ I run in the house as my poor family watches horrified. I don’t really know what happened right after I left, but I know that my mother-in-law, the sister, and my grandmother-in-law all left.
Happy first Mother’s Day to me.”