Bringing the boyfriend home to meet the family is nerve-wracking enough. Things can get awkward, fast. Especially in this case, where this poor OP wanted her family to meet Tim, only to have the situation sabotaged by her crazy, pregnant stepsister.
We’ve all been at the stage of a relationship where it’s time to meet the family. It can be a nerve-wracking experience. Will they like your family? Will your family like them? What embarrassing stories will be told? Ah, the thrill of it all. For this OP, however, having her boyfriend meet her family took quite a disastrous, dramatic turn.
OP met her boyfriend Tim 3.5 years ago. They hit it off he was great and sweet and they get along perfectly. Until she introduced him to her family. Her mother had gotten remarried a few months earlier, and OP likes her stepdad and they get along fine, but her stepsister Sarah is no close friend by any means. Sarah is kind of an intense party girl and being in their 20s, the two only saw each other at family events.
So, OP introduced Tim to her family at which point they learn that Sarah used to date Tim way back when they were 20. Talk about awkward family meetings. Sarah and Tim only dated for a few months.
“Tim said they broke up because she made out with another guy at a nightclub while heavily under the influence,” OP stated. “Sarah then got upset and started saying I had to break up with him because it was weird for her. She called Tim her ‘sloppy seconds’ and tried to get our parents to force us to break up.”
OP shut that down. It had been years since her sister and Tim been together and she didn’t even know Sarah back when she was dating Tim. It seemed like Sarah and Tim didn’t really have a serious relationship in the first place. OP didn’t see a big deal in continuing to date Tim. After all, they hit it off really well. Her family, on the other hand, had different perspectives.
“I got pretty upset because my family jumped on the bandwagon of saying we should break up.” OP was irritated, “for the past few years at any family gathering Sarah would mention how they used to date and act like I stole her boyfriend and has been selling that narrative to my family and friends!”
It became obvious that Sarah was jealous. But OP liked Tim so they just ignored it and kept dating. Now, a few years later, Tim and OP live together and they’ve been talking about marriage and that whole ordeal.
“I recently had a conversation with my mom about how I thought Tim was going to propose because he’s not exactly subtle and we’ve talked about this for a while.” Sarah, who just moved back in with their parents, walked in. She is now four months pregnant, has said the father was some deadbeat guy she’d hooked up with who wants nothing to do with her, but she wants to keep the baby. She started asking a bunch of invasive questions about the relationship and being weird.
OP had been making an effort taking her to appointments and offering to help babysit and trying to be excited for her. Until a week ago when her stepdad sent her a long text saying how she can’t marry Tim because he is the real father of Sarah's baby.
“I was immediately very upset and confronted Tim who was completely shocked and said Sarah was lying.” OP mentions, “he said there’s no way that was possible. He didn’t cheat on me and he would gladly have a paternity test to prove that.”
Unsure of what to believe, OP asked Sarah for more details about when they slept together which she said happened a few times. But Sarah was shaky and went back and forth on details. The dates and times didn’t match up with what Tim and OP have been doing.
“Sarah also said she came to their house to see him, but since quarantine, I’ve been working from home and have never seen her here. So I can't imagine that they managed that.” OP thinks she’s seen enough cracks in Sarah’s story. “I’m pretty sure now that she’s lying to get us to break up because she’s still jealous. But now my family is involved and have been sending me hateful messages saying I need to break up with Tim and let him be with Sarah.”
OP texted Sarah asking for proof of this happening and she sent her some fake photoshopped screenshots- that everyone can tell are fake. Where she’s put Tim's name over a friends number and pretended he was messaging her. OP checked and the friend all but admitted it to her and tried to laugh it off. She badly photoshopped the timestamps.
“She’s telling everyone he’s in love with her and I’m keeping him from her even though she has no proof and he strictly denied everything! I actually don’t know what to do now. I believe Tim and we are still together but this has kind of thrown a wedge in everything. Sarah has poisoned my relationship with our parents and my family. I feel sick to my stomach and Sarah is now saying she won’t give me a paternity test.”
OP is truly in a messy situation all at the hands of Sarah, who can’t let either her sister or her ex be happy and move on. Reddit users were quick to offer up advice for OP during this troubling time.
"Since it seems like this is now a family affair, go to the parents and tell them Tim demands paternity tests ASAP before anything happens." One mentions, "ask them if Sarah isn’t lying why won’t she do a paternity test to prove he’s the father."
Another commented, "OP can have Tim file a paternity action in court based on the accusations. Then a court order would force Sarah into admitting that she is lying."
Would the family believe the paternity test? What should happen to Sarah if the test confirms she is lying?