Take it from these women, if you have any doubts before marriage then call the wedding off! Women who have extremely short marriages explain why they suddenly wanted a divorce shortly after tying the knot. There lots of red flags that probably should've been addressed before the big day!
"Not myself but my oldest sister. She has been married 5 times. The first one was at 19, they divorced because they were young and not ready to be married.
The second marriage she wasn't sure if she wanted to be married and despite my mom advising her to walk away, got married anyway. He cheated, she left.
3rd Marriage lasted 10 years, but they fought a lot (he was a Dr, she's a nurse, 2 intelligent people who couldn't talk to each other about their problems).
The 4th Husband was my favourite, he was kind hearted, and the most loving and supportive spouse you could ever hope for. I think she got bored and met someone while she was on a work trip and met another Dr. She sent us an email saying that her and 4th spouse were starting to feel like they were just 'friends' and she was moving to New Zealand to start a new life (she wasn't fooling us, we knew there was a new dude). About 6 months later she announced she had a new boyfriend and a year after that we saw that they had been married.
The kicker in all of this is, during my wedding, my very sweet English grandmother said to her, 'Oh, I do hope that your marriage to (4th) works out'. She got upset by this, but I don't blame my grandma for pointing out her revolving door of husbands. I wish I could invite 4th Husband back into our family, we really miss him and his family."
"Not me but a friend. Their marriage didn’t last through the reception. Groom got absolutely wasted and slaps the bride's child from a previous relationship and then hits the bride in the face. She filed for an annulment the next morning.
Groom was a truck driver (long and short haul) so he and the bride didn’t spend a ton of time together over their relationship, so I guess she didn’t know he was like that. The actual assault happened behind closed doors and was kept pretty hush hush until the next morning to save face.
This all happened about 10 years ago and I’m no longer in contact with the bride but last I heard she was doing better and had moved on. The groom had racked up several thousands of dollars in debt in the bride's name during the relationship that wasn’t discovered until things started falling apart. I think he’s in jail now."
"Wasn't my marriage, but I am involved in the story.
Basically, my ex-girlfriend's boss left his wife ON THEIR HONEYMOON, because she and him were having an affair.
They had the wedding and flew off to Bali, but he was sneaking off into the bathroom to send my then girlfriend secret pics from his honeymoon. I saw one of the pictures and confronted her. She admitted to it and messaged him back to tell him that I had found out. My understanding is that he basically came out of the bathroom, told his wife, 'I think this was a mistake. We shouldn't have gotten married', got on a plane and flew home. Left her there on her own. On her freaking honeymoon. With no explanation.
In the end, I had to be the one to go over to her place and tell her what had really happened because he wouldn't own up to it.
So I think the marriage lasted all of about 3 days.
This all happened like 10 years ago. She was my first girlfriend from highschool and we had been together for 10 years (so I was 24 at the time). I'm actually fine about it now because we were unhappy and it really wasn't meant to be, and I'm happily married.
The husband and my ex were having a full-blown affair and had been sleeping together for several months before the wedding.
It wasn't just secret pics being sent. He was also sending her just generally lovey-dovey messages about how much he missed her and how much he wished it was her there with him instead of his wife. However, the message which I happened to see, which blew the whole thing wide open, did include a secret pic, as well as a picture she had sent him in return.
He walked out on his new wife because he knew he had been busted, but didn't tell her why. So she was sat around thinking she had done something wrong.
A couple of weeks later my friend called me with a message. You see, I had told him what happened and he had told someone, who had told someone who actually ended up knowing her and had told her. This is how she learned the truth. Then, through that same chain of people she got the message back to me requesting that I call her so we could talk (along with her number). I had actually met her a couple of times before through my ex and her work but I barely knew her.
So, I called her. She invited me over and we had a long talk. I told her everything I knew from my side. She hadn't learned any of this until she had heard it through that friend so it was pretty rough.
I moved on quickly, but they had a really rough and messy divorce (Australian law says you must first try a one-year separation before you can divorce).
However, I did run into her a few years ago, and she was remarried and seemed very happy.
As for the two offending parties. They did start dating publicly, which I think caused a lot of dramas and friction in their personal lives. Hugely so at their work with the other employees, as you can imagine. I heard they broke up after a few years together.
Also, my wife just reminded me of another detail (I've told her the story before).
My ex was invited to the wedding, but I wasn't (she said it was because they were trying to do it on a budget).
I found out later that at the wedding she got really wasted and upset (obviously because her new-found fella was marrying someone else) and sort of started causing a scene. It was apparently bad enough that the best man had to get her in the back of his car and leave the wedding early to take her home as it looked like she was about to spill the beans in front of everyone."
"I had some friends that got married and divorced within a year. It turns out she had major doubts but went through with it anyway, then cried for the whole honeymoon and told him she had made a huge mistake.
They posted all these normal pictures of them looking happy in Hawaii, but it came out later what a miserable nightmare the trip was."
"Not me but my ex-gf a few years ago. Before we met she was dating a guy for about 7 years or so. Due to family pressures, tradition, etc she went and got married to the guy.
They went home in separate cars because she said they both realized it was a mistake. She lived with her cousins for 6 months because she was scared to tell her parents."
"4 months in, he dislocated my jaw. But really what I want to share is the signs people should be aware of.
First it was just grabbing my arm kind of hard. Then grabbing my arm hard enough to bruise it. Then pushing. Then slapping. It took years so escalate.
I heard it gets worse. I didn't think too much of it. I thought 'I'm not a wimp and it isn't like he's beating the snot out of me every day'. I thought that's what domestic abuse looked like. Then I married him.
Well, let me tell you. If they're grabbing, pushing, or hitting you they will eventually hurt you worse."
"My sister’s marriage lasted about 40 days. She found out when my other sister came forward to say that her husband had been assaulting her for the last 4 months. When he was arrested, police found a video of me getting dressed on his phone. I thank God every day that she came forward when she did, because he was grooming me to be his next victim. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison and has no contact orders with everyone in my immediate family.
My family and I had to have therapy for years. We’re all doing a lot better than we were, but I’m not the person I was before that happened, and neither is anyone else in my family. This event was the end of my childhood."
"I had a friend who married one of the most horrible people I’ve ever met. So charming at first, but within the first 3 months of them being together, we all started to notice a few things and we decided none of us liked him. One day we saw hand-shaped bruises on her arms, and literally the next day they were at the courthouse getting married.
We had a small gathering shortly after, which he ended up turning into their wedding celebration, bachelor party, whatever he could to make it all about him. He got extremely wasted, and basically tried to kill her in front of all of us. She told us they didn’t have their rings yet, but they would get them soon, and he walked over to her and started strangling her for embarrassing him. She ended up breaking down, and realized that for the entire four months of their relationship, and nine days of their marriage, he had progressively gotten more and more abusive, and she made a mistake.
"He casually invited his parents along on our honeymoon, and told them we’d pay for it. AND they not only accepted, they were SO EXCITED and immediately wanted to take over planning it.
Obviously that wasn’t the only bad thing he did. Eventually found out he was cheating on me and I fast tracked divorce before there were any kids or assets involved."
"Two months in he told me I was too fat and will no longer be sleeping with me. I lost 75lbs in three months (by doing it the wrong way) and he told me he was already seeing someone else. He seemed surprised my parents would no longer pay his bills, and was kicked off their property 30 days later (per laws of my state).
That is my biggest regret, I abused my body. I got diet pills at a gas station and starved myself. I already had a gym membership and would just keep walking on the treadmill for whole afternoons after work. I hated myself based on his opinion, and I am glad I am no longer that person.
I realized he was just messing with my head. The other partner was the same size as me before I lost the weight. He had a clear 'type' and bigger women were it. He wanted a wife under his thumb and ladies on the side.
I was freshly 18 when this relationship started, he was older. I did not see the red flags, and he courted me based on my lack of experience. Plus, my parents being well off in the 2008 recession was incredibly appealing after he lost his great job and had to work a bad retail job. I am now 30 and really happy."
"I dated him for over four years beforehand, and there were so many warning signs, but he got more controlling after we were engaged. He demanded his engagement ring back several times, he started telling me he didn't like my best friend (who hated him), didn't want (let) me to maintain any relationships with my guy friends, didn't like me wearing low cut shirts or tightish pants, he decided to accept a PhD without telling me after I'd accepted my own position out of town, also he had a severe drinking problem. He'd party with his (single) friends upwards of five nights a week. He was so difficult to deal with when he'd come home hammered and stoned. He pinned me against the bed one night and told me to 'Shut up.'
I told him I wanted to postpone the wedding and his response was 'No!' I felt I had no choice.
Once we were married, he'd tell me many times when he was wasted that he 'didn't know if [he] wanted to be married to me.' The final straw was his birthday - he demanded we get intimate. At this point, I had previously told him I didn't love him anymore. He didn't care that I felt that way. I cried the entire time. I felt violated and used. I consented only because it would be more difficult to say 'no.' I left five days later.
He was a sociopath. The most charming handsome and charismatic guy you could ever meet. He was also brilliant. He fooled everyone. When I left him, my parents didn't even believe me! I would love to be able to pinpoint the moment that the abuse and manipulation started but it was so gradual.
In the time we were separated before the divorce, he followed me, recorded phone calls, showed up at my parents house at 3 a.m. two hours from his house, showed up at my best friends apartment when he knew I was there, and slept with his students - that's just what I remember - I know I've repressed some of it.
I was terrified of him. Since then I've dealt with severe anxiety issues and I have a hair trigger fight or flight response.
Best decision of my life was to leave him."
"I had 2 good friends who were brothers. They were party animals. Out drinking at bars all the time, sleeping with different women every weekend, recreational substances. They just loved that whole bachelor lifestyle, and to be honest, I was a bit jealous of the fun they were having. I was in a longer term relationship for many years. Eventually the younger brother settled down and got engaged to a really nice girl. Something broke in the older brothers mind, and he suddenly was in some sort of 'race' to get married before his younger brother. He kept living the bachelor lifestyle, but then one day announced to us all he was engaged to be married and with his fiancé they'd set a wedding date to be married 6 months before his younger brother. None of us ever met this girl before we found out he was engaged. When we did meet her, it was clear he'd not been open with her about his lifestyle. She was a very prim and proper lady. Very shy, quiet. They worked together, so she only knew the professional side of him.
Over the months leading to the wedding, his partying kept going. He was cheating on her with lots of women but she was oblivious. Our group of friends told him he needed to tell her what he was doing, but he refused.
I was nominated to be the one to tell her before it was too late. I met her for coffee and told her how he was cheating on her and the substances he was using. She was generally taken aback, but she told me to my face, she was still going to marry him and that she could change him. I left with a clear conscience after that.
Fast-forward to their wedding day and it is an absolute mess. He is wasted before the reception even starts and passes out in a corner sometime after dinner. As I am leaving, I say goodbye to his bride, and I can see it in her eyes. The definition of regret.
They ended up being together for exactly one year. Her final straw was when she really wanted to go out for a special brunch for their one-year anniversary. She made plans at a fancy place. He told her he was going out to party the night before but would be home in time to get some sleep before their anniversary started. He ended up hooking up with some chick he picked up at the bar, and when he finally made it home the next afternoon, his wife had packed her bags and left.
I felt bad for her at first, but then I remembered how I laid everything on the table with her and she still did it. I've never seen or spoken to her again. My friend ended up repeating his pattern. He is on his 4th marriage now, but does seem to have finally settled down this time."
"Not me but a family member:
She was married after a quick relationship. His family had money, and I think she wanted a nice life. A few months later, she was in a horrific car crash which killed 9 year old sister, their grandmother, and left her with severe injuries - shattered 3/4 of her face, and she may have broken a hip, and her back too if memory serves. She was in a medically induced coma when her sister’s funeral occurred.
Less than a month or two after she gets out of the hospital, her husband (married about 6 months at this point), says to her, 'You need to get over the accident.'"
"I attended a wedding a few years ago that wasn’t over the top extravagant, but is what I want if I could ever save up enough money - beautiful venue, open bar with local brews, great food, and tastefully decorated.
A couple of months after, we heard through our friends that it came out that he’d been cheating with one of the bridesmaids in the year or two leading up to the wedding. And that he had this concept that nothing he did had repercussions or harmed anyone (the bad kind of philosophy major) so he didn’t see the big deal."
"Not me but I worked at a company where two employees were engaged. After they married she sent out an all users email advising her name change and then almost exactly a year later sent another one changing it back.
Apparently right up to the wedding she was seeing someone else. It’s seems that both her and her fiancé knew it was mistake but it was one of those enormous weddings and her father was paying out a boat load of money. They were even having dance lessons for when the bride and groom have the first dance, that kind of deal. The whole thing was like a supertanker that couldn’t be stopped so they had their day and split up soon after."
"Sitting across from the courthouse waiting to go in. I thought, 'You are going to look back on this moment and remember that you KNEW it was the wrong thing to do'.
I certainly did. We only got married because I was living with him and my whole family wouldn’t speak to us as we were 'living in sin'.
Well we showed them."
"Some girl I know. They lived in different cities, most of the relationship was long distance. They agreed he’d move to her city eventually and got engaged. She started seeing red flags half way through wedding planning.
He took her to a party at his friends place right after she got lasik surgery even though she didn’t want to go. He got so wasted he was practically unconscious. She had to drive them back with compromised vision in the middle of the night. They had a huge fight after. She didn’t have the balls to call it off then so compromised and stuck with him.
Right before the wedding day he complained about the wedding venue even though they picked it together, didn’t show up for pictures, was overall being a prick. She knew she messed up but somehow decided she would go through with it and figure it out after. He never apologized, he went back to his city and they never saw each other again. Their marriage ended before it began."
"The guy I married went instantly from being fun and adventurous to an absolute psycho. He stopped using my name and would just call me wife even after I asked him to stop. He started insisting that I didn't need other friends and, 'Aren't you done with that?' when I would want to meet up with people.
If I hung out with a guy then I was cheating in his mind. I caught him going through my phone to find 'proof' (there was none).
And then at a concert he FREAKED OUT and had to be dragged off of me because I talked to an old male acquaintance for five minutes. That one left bruises, and I left him. Idiot.
"My ex-husband and I had been best friends for seven years. According to everyone we were soulmates. Well, we were madly in love and finally started dating, then moved in together, and after a year or so said our I dos.
One month after we were married he went out drinking with some friends. He tried some coke...and that was it. He became a severe addict almost overnight. He drained our accounts, stole every penny, destroyed our house, violently threatened me, and finally disappeared. Then he overdosed and spent months in rehab only to continue his habit the minute he got out.
This sounds like a white trash love story right? He was actually from a wealthy, upper-class family, was endlessly kind and loyal to us, very well educated. It was a complete shock to all of us with this behavior. He is still a junkie to this day. It still breaks my heart to this day."
"The day after the wedding, a sheriff showed up on our doorstep with child support papers for a 3-month-old baby. It turns out he had been sleeping with his coworker. I was willing to look past the indiscretion but when he refused to take responsibility for his child, I couldn't handle it anymore. The kid shouldn't have to suffer because his dad is an idiot. The divorce was final 11 months after our wedding day.
In all honesty, we had been together so long (high school sweethearts) I was afraid of what life would be like without him. My thought at first was 'maybe he just wanted to experience someone else.' I felt like I would be able to forgive that, but to turn his back on his child was unforgivable to me."