Sometimes, there's no other option but to ditch the date right then and there. Maybe it feels too awkward, or the date is super rude to the waiters. Whatever the reason, these people made some epic exits from some unbelievably terrible dates. There would be no chance for a second date, despite some pesky partners not getting the message. Content has been edited for clarity.
"After finally coping with the demise of my previous relationship, I decided to jump back into the dating game. I messaged Preston, a 37 year-old California native and MIT graduate who recently relocated to New York. Right away, he requested I give him my number so we could communicate via text. Though I thought it was slightly premature, I ultimately relinquished my digits.
After chatting for a few days I found Preston quite sarcastic for my liking, so I was unsure whether I was inclined to meet in person. Every few days he would text me 'Hey Samantha, how’s it going?'
Alas, his persistence paid off, and I agreed to meet him at a French bar and bistro in the West Village. On a balmy 75 degree day Preston arrived (15 minutes late I might add) outside our meeting point, dressed in several layers, a scarf and a beanie. Instead of entering the restaurant to have a drink, Preston had another idea.
'Let’s take a walk!' he suggested. 'Do you mind if we stop back at my apartment so I can drop off my scarf? It’s pretty warm out.'
Apprehensive to go with him to his apartment, I proposed he just carry it. As we walked several blocks to who knows where, Preston was texting on his phone for the entire duration. 'So what are people supposed to do on dates?' he asked.
Puzzled, I offered up the usual examples such as dinner, drinks, and coffee.
Remembering that he had recently moved to NYC, I inquired as to whether or not he had been on many dates.
'I have been on about 100 dates thus far,' he said.
Preston then revealed that he had been building a dating bot that does the texting (hence why he wanted to chat via text), and it even schedules his dates for him. He then proceeded to demonstrate how his bot worked whilst showing me a long list of other women’s names he had dates with. He also showed how it would remind him when/where he needed to be on that particular day/night.
'There has been some glitches though. It actually scheduled four dates for me at the same time today!' he explained.
It was at that point I’d had my fill of Preston and decided to put an end to my misery, but not before he revealed that though he has not been on many seconds dates. He did tell me he has hooked up with ‘tons’ of girls.
'Okay, we are clearly not getting drinks and clearly not looking for the same things, so I think I’m going to head home', I said.
'Oh, you thought we were going to get drinks? Did I say that? That must have been the bot. I actually don’t feel like drinking because I’ve been drinking pretty much every night.'
Preston attempted to walk me back to my train despite me desperately trying to cut him loose. He was grasping at straws trying to sound interested in me by asking me where I am from and where I live. These were all questions I had previously answered...to a robot. The date lasted all of 15 minutes, which was 15 minutes too long. Later that week I received a text from Preston’s number. 'Hey Samantha, want to go for brunch this weekend?'
I texted back to tell him to lose my contact info as there was no way I would want to see this monster ever again. To which he replied, 'Sorry, was the bot. Will add you to the blacklist.'
Yes, Preston. You do that."
"I ran away from a date. I hid behind a fountain around the corner!
How it all began: That guy saw me sitting in front of the Vienna Opera House and thought I was a tourist, He chatted me up in English, until two minutes later when I switched to German, giving him the first disappointment. I wasn’t an Italian tourist. We even found out [to my big disadvantage] we lived 1 metro station away from each other and of course, he asked me to take the metro home with him. The first ever sign of weirdness was that he asked me to leave at his station and walk him to the street. The opposite is usually the case, and why would I walk a man home?!
I was 20, he was 29. He said right away he wanted to marry me. I don’t know why I agreed to give him my number. He was handsome and I thought maybe he was only acting stupid because he’d just met me. Then we had two dates, and each time I couldn’t believe he was that stupid and childish. I agreed to these dates because I was expecting him to tell me he’s been joking and his Real Self would finally be introduced. That never happened.
On our 2nd date, he even brought some friend of his, who asked me when he’d be moving into my place. Another sign of weirdness - why would a man his age want to move to the tiny room I was renting at the time?
I agreed on one more date, because he wanted to show me a wonderful place I’d supposedly love. While looking for it, I realized, this guy didn’t know the city he’d grown up in, Vienna, at all! He had no idea what was where and how to get from A to B. I was 100% sure I was never seeing him again. I couldn’t take this much ignorance. I was very bitter, annoyed that my Sunday was ruined, and that person was there with me making a fool of himself.
He noticed I wasn’t pleased, but he was certain he’d show me that wonderful place which would turn everything around. He got firmer about marrying me. I was gorgeous, but should wear a headscarf. My hair was too full and beautiful, and if I’d put on a headscarf, people wouldn’t see it, but would take their time to look at my pretty eyes and eyebrows. I already felt he was proud of me. I told him the headscarf wouldn’t happen.
He said we should move in together, in our own flat. He was living with his mother. I would work and pay the rent, because that’s how reliable I was. He liked that––a hard-working, good-looking, strong woman, taking care of everything. He also had a child, but I didn’t need to take care of it; his brother had taken all the financial responsibility, so he didn’t have to worry about that child, or to ever see it. I was ready to go home. I told him I wasn’t going to marry him. He said, it was time he showed me this very important thing.
4pm, time for mass at his church. We walked there, and he was absolutely sure I’d stick to him forever, touched by God and Christianity. In the church, he went straight on his knees, expecting me to do the same. It took me 3 seconds - the time he needed to believe I was playing along. I didn’t get on my knees, but he thought I would, so he was already calming down and feeling certain I was a sure thing. He’d face the altar and listen to the priests.
The church had curtains at the entrance. I ran out. He ran after me, telling me I didn’t understand, but I was much faster and lost him. I hid behind a fountain. I spent some time facing the street with the church, until I was sure he wouldn’t find me. Then, I finally got home. After that, he’d call every day for the next 3 weeks. I never picked up and he stopped."
"We met online. I wasn’t particularly interested in dating him, but he seemed nice while we were chatting. I wanted to see what he’s up to in life and what he is like in person. He promised to meet me at the mall at 3pm today. Okay, cool. Since I had no plans later today, I waited around for him.
The clock struck 3:30pm. 'Sorry I will be a bit late. Will arrive in 10 minutes time,' he texted.
The clock struck 4:00pm 'Sorry got stuck in the traffic. On my way. Sorry.'
He arrived at 5:15pm. I waited for more than two hours. No apology. No acknowledgment. He was glued to his phone texting someone. He didn’t make any move to talk to me. 'I want to eat. I didn't have lunch,' he finally told me. It was his first sentence to me.
Me: 'What kind of food do you like?'
Him: 'Arabic. Mexican.'
Me: 'Actually, I like-'
Him: 'Let’s go to this Arabic restaurant there. It will be nice.'
Me: 'Arabic? But I don’t-'
Him: 'You can pay for me. I forgot my wallet.'
He was still glued on his phone texting someone when we got there. I opened my mouth to place my order, but he intercepted. He barks out our orders at the waiter. And then he goes back to texting on the phone with God knows whom. He barely made any eye contact. Once a millisecond, he casually threw a look at the kitchen, eyeing the phone and completely ignoring my presence. I felt invisible.
Me: 'So what do you do for living?'
Him: 'I work.'
Me: 'What kind of work?'
Him: 'The kind that pays.'
That shut me up. He was fully engrossed in somebody else. The food arrived. He scooped it up from his plate and continued to text. I felt humiliated. My eyeliner was on point today, but he never noticed. I wore my best dress today and he didn’t notice that. I even did my hair today, yet he didn’t notice that either. He scooped the food into his mouth. Still, texting in between.
Me: 'I need to go to the restroom,'
He ignored this. I saw his brows knit in tense and fingers composing a message in fury. He didn’t notice when I got up, reached my purse and left the dinner table. I turned back one last time before leaving the restaurant. He was still texting. I left the place, disappointed and sad. No, I didn’t pay my share of bill. I really hope that he indeed forgot to bring his wallet."
"I met the girl online. To my pleasant surprise, she was as pretty in real life as her profile was. Plus, she was tiny. She must have been all of five feet tall, if that. And her Russian accent was intoxicating. The minute we began talking with each other in the coffee shop of our initial date, I sort of fell for her. She made me nervous. That’s how wonderful she seemed to me. Nothing overtly romantic happened on that first date. We just got to know each other a little bit. Enough to set us up for a second date, at least. And a third, and a fourth.
She always seemed secretive about something. I was never sure what it was. She’d look off in the distance and I wondered. Looking back, I suppose there were other signs too. She was very quiet about how she spent her days. And she never invited me back to her place. She told me about her time in Russia, and about how glad she was to be in Canada. After about six months together, we went to a restaurant. Again, she got that far-off look. I put my fork down. I called her on it.
'What’s wrong? What’s on your mind?'
And then, for some reason, I added, 'You look like you’re married with six children or something.'
She turned and looked at me. Her face went absolutely white.
'Well, I don’t have any kids….'
With that, the communication dam broke. She hurriedly explained that she was married to a medical scientist. She told me about how his work keeps him so busy and that he’s almost never home. She told me how discontent she was, yadda yadda yadda.
All I heard was, 'I lied when I put up my profile, saying I was single. I am cheating on my husband with you.'
I don’t recall saying anything at all to her. Not 'I understand.' I certainly didn’t say, 'That’s okay' because it clearly wasn’t. I could not trust her. Instead, I pushed my still-full plate back, asked the server for the bill, paid it, and said goodbye to her."
"Years ago, I was browsing in a Barnes and Noble after becoming newly divorced. A really handsome man came up to me and was quite flirtatious. We spoke for about two hours and he finally asked me out. He told me he was new in town and alone after his own divorce. I said okay, and we decided to meet at a really fancy expensive restaurant the following week. All week long, he called me and sent me flowers every day. It seemed perfect.
The night of our date arrived and he called early asking if he could pick me up, instead of meeting at the restaurant. I was hesitant, as I didn’t really know him, but said okay. He pulled up in a Rolls-Royce and off we went. The dinner was so romantic and perfect. Both being divorced, we talked a little about how it happened. He told me how his wife left him and it broke his heart, but he was trying again.
About halfway through this incredible meal, his cell phone rang and he excused himself. While he was away from the table talking, a beautiful woman came up to me and said, 'Oh are you friends with Jack?'
I said it was our first date. She then told me she was very good friends with him and his wife. I asked, 'His ex-wife?'
She replied, 'No, his current and only wife.'
When 'Jack' got back to the table, I said I had to go and not to bother with driving me home. I’d call a cab. He asked what was wrong, we seemed so perfect for each other? I didn’t want to get into anything, so I just said I had to go because there was an emergency. He told me he would drive me home, but I told him I was okay. He then asked if we could go out again. I said I would love to, but this time let’s bring his wife along too, as it’s not fair she has to sit home and miss such a great time.
I never heard from him again. The manager of the restaurant was an angel who drove me home and had the kitchen prepare a complete doggie bag meal for me."
"I met a woman who was very attractive, but lived a little less than two hours from me. I figured I should make it worth her while. I planned it out so we could go down to the Riverwalk and have a picnic, then go dancing. It started out pretty bad. She was three hours late, with no apologies.
She was worried about finding the right place, so I drove out to meet her. She changed where we were meeting three times! The last time, we agreed to meet at a high school parking lot (easy to find), but even though she was literally three minutes away, she didn’t show up for more than 15 minutes. I texted her asking where she was. She explained she went to Walgreens. Well, why not tell me that?
We finally walk around the Riverwalk for a bit. She’s telling me stories about how all her bosses and everyone wants her and also complaining about issues because she was late for work. I can’t remember specifics, but she totally wasn’t owning the need to get to work on time. She was convinced everything was about her attractiveness. We have to leave to go Salsa dancing and get to the lesson. She’s totally not willing to follow, which makes dancing a bit like wrestling. I soften things a lot (to keep it from being a wrestling match), and let her back lead. We have a good time at the lesson.
She leaves to go get a smoke, so I start dancing with people I know. She comes back and is acting aloof. I ask her to dance and we do. I also dance with other women. This may be my mistake here. She might not realize that social dancing means dancing with other people as well as the person you’re with.
I make sure two of my friends dance with her so she’s having a good time. I periodically return to her to ask her to dance, and she gives me an attitude or a cold shoulder. She goes out to smoke again. I haven’t had a chance to really spend any time with her, so I go with her, even though her car is literally smoke-filled.
We go back in and she ends up dancing with creepy guy. He buys her a drink, and I happen to take a break and am sitting down. She doesn’t realize that I’m near her. The guy has his arms around her waist at the bar and is trying to kiss her. I see her looking around to make sure I’m not watching. She’s definitely not discouraging him.
I go ask her to dance again and she’s being evasive, saying she’s 'too hot' (when she hasn’t been dancing anytime recently) and making up other excuses. I go back and dance. I see the same thing going on. She’s flirting with him. She still won’t dance with me. So I left.
I didn’t even bother to tell her. I never wanted to talk to her again. She wasn’t even worth the effort to talk about it. I blocked her texts on my phone. This was the most self-centered woman I’ve met in my life."
"I had dating down to a science. I met a lot of guys, a handful of them were very nice, but mostly I met a lot of creeps.
After being on a serious creep bender for a while, I came across a very cute quiet dude. He seemed alright, so we made a date. I had a little dive bar I liked to go to for these pre-screen ice breaker dates, but for some reason I chose a place in my neighborhood instead. The day came and I was running late. I quickly threw on a green dress and sandals, threw my hair up in a ponytail, and walked to meet my date. I found him waiting anxiously outside the pub, with a bundle of tulips. He was adorable: very easy to talk to, had a ton of interesting stories, easy to be around. Dare I say? I'm enjoying this! It feels like we are old friends. I like him. We had a few drinks and decided to move to another location for dinner. Halfway through the meal it hits me: diarrhea.
I calmly excuse myself to the restroom and hope for the best. I have no idea what is going to happen or how to handle this situation. Hoping for the best, I return to the table with refreshed lipstick and pick up the conversation where we left off. This cool facade lasts about 3 whole minutes.
'I'm sorry could you hold that thought once more? I need to excuse myself, I will be right back.'
'Are you feeling ok? You just turned green.'
'I'm fine!' I say, backing away from the table. 'I just forgot something.'
When I return, he is concerned. I tell him I am very sorry but I am not well and need to cut our evening short. He is disappointed, and offers me a ride. No way would I risk it. I will call you! And I ran away into the night like Cinderella, as fast is my legs could carry me, with tail tucked and butt clenched. I made it home, barely.
We dated for 6 years and married this summer. It's definitely not the classic love at first sight story."
"One summer many years ago, I met some guy at a local neighborhood shop. He claimed that he was an established (if still poor) artist. He wasn’t rich, good-looking, nor overly charming. But, he seemed nice, interesting, or at least different, and he was passionate about being an artist. Let’s call him John.
Now, for background, I think I had recently broken up with my last relationship and I had never really been on the normal dating scene. I think I let certain things go on during this date that I would not tolerate now, but I was thrown for a loop at the time. I really wanted to enjoy a date and have a good time. I was open to getting out of my usual social circle and comfort zone. Bumping into him at a local shop seemed like a good opportunity.
We decided to go on an early afternoon date on the weekend. We’d meet somewhere, grab some sort of take-out food, and then take the subway (metro) to the public park, since it was summer and the park is wonderful then.
It seemed okay for starters. John started out fine. He had a dry, if awkward wit. But then he started to frequently physically poke me It was uncomfortable and sometimes painful. He would do this when I would turn away from him for a moment while relaxed. Then, suddenly he’d literally poke me, or just somehow briefly grab me. Each time he did so, he’s have this smirk on his face, as if this was something cute.
With every touch and grope, I grew more tense. But he somehow timed it well that I would relax a bit more, before he’d make his next inappropriate poke or grab. Let me also emphasize that this was a FIRST DATE. In my own opinion, I don’t give off any vibe of welcoming excessive touching, groping, or whatever. I actually do NOT kiss, other than a voluntary peck, on a first date. Touching me anywhere on the torso, especially when unexpected, is a big no-no.
Initially, I gave him an awkward and startled giggle, but after doing this several times, each with escalating anger and nasty expression from me (I usually react non-verbally, first and foremost). I said to him clearly and pointedly at some point, 'Stop it, I don’t like it.'
He just grins and says something like, 'Aw, come on, I’m just kidding with you,' with that disgusting, self-confident smirk, as if this was a big joke and just part of some illusory game in his mind and I was a willing player. He assumed too much.
Then he does it again. I told him, 'I told you to cut it out!' My tone of voice was clear and sharp and my expression was ugly. This was no flirtation, play, or humor; it was a command.
John responded again with his disgusting grin, something like, 'Oh, okay, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.'
His response was passive and still with that smirk. But he did it again. The next opportunity was when we were crossing a busy intersection to the park. We were in the middle of traveling a crowded intersection, when he grabbed me by the waist while dragging me across the street. Because of the added distraction, situation and noise, I did not rebuff him immediately because this was literally in traffic.
Meanwhile, he started to make some comments about people in general. I can’t remember his specific comments, but they struck me as unnecessarily sharp, passive-aggressive, and mean. They were all disguised as his sense of humor. In hindsight, some of his innuendos and comments should have been enough. At the very least, to never have a second date with him, but I was still a bit clueless about getting back into the dating culture.
By this time, I think I had already realized that there was going to be no second date, but I was determined to get through it as civilly as possible. I was planning to leave as soon as we finished our take-out meal, which we had just barely even started. Frankly, I lost my appetite, but I would go through the formality of the point of our date, a snack at the park.
At some point, perhaps barely 15 minutes after we arrived at the park, he did it again, as I turned my head from him and exposed my side to him And then I responded quite sharply, 'I told you to cut it out!'
This was loud, clear, and unmistakable to any normal, balanced person, except him. In fact, loud and obnoxious enough that a few people near us started to stare.
The scumbag still though that his non-consensual behavior was some type of game. He thought that this was some sort of repulsive flirtation and I was just kidding. Despite facial expression that I gave, he was still clueless. It was a combination of genuine rage and disgust. This scumbag just sat there, grinning like's winning, with no verbal response––just that disgusting smirk.
I sat there for a long second. I finally stood up and started to gather my things. I didn't care how loud I was. I stated loud and clear, 'You know, I have better things to do with my time than this.'
Meanwhile, some people that are sitting near me notice the sound and tone of my voice, his cringing body language, and start staring at us, but also pointedly at him. I don’t care. At this point, his expression breaks, he starts to mumble an apology. He offers to walk me to the subway. I put out my full palm to him and said, 'No, I can get to the subway myself.'
I seriously don't think he ever understood how inappropriate he was because if he did, he never would have engaged in this behavior. I think he only thought his 'joking'was too much, but I bet he still thinks it's a joke.
Absolutely disgusted and doing my best to contain any anger, I walked to the subway and did some things to let the anger dissipate. My only regret was that I allowed his inappropriate behavior to go on at least too long and I didn’t speak up and respond immediately.
You live and learn. I caution anyone else who is on a date and doesn’t feel 'right' about some sort of behavior, to terminate it if it makes them feel too uncomfortable.
A couple of years later, I was walking down a neighborhood street. Then, I suddenly realized that John was on the street. He was just passing by, behind a friend, and clearly recognized me. Why do I think he recognized me? With his eyes looking directly at me, I spotted him trying to hide and cower behind his clueless, chatty friend. His expression was a combination of strong fear and embarrassment."
"I was on this date with a gorgeous, intelligent girl. As soon as we sat down, we started delving into fascinating conversation topics about literature, science, arts, and so on. Up until forty minutes into the date, I was extremely impressed with her. All that ended when she started talking about a current political situation. Of course, controversial talk about politics is always taboo, and immediately I could see our polarized discussion dooming the evening. But everybody is entitled to their own opinions, so I was not going to let these differences ruin my initial positive perception about her.
However, she then went all out by drawing parallels to Nazi Germany and Hitler. She was commenting about how Americans feel threatened by the influx of immigrants and their impact on the economy, in the same manner that Jewish people were 'discriminating' against Germans in their businesses. And she even went as far as to JUSTIFY AND DEFEND ADOLF HITLER AND HIS ACTIONS. She tried to water down her remarks by indicating that Hitler was a bit drastic in his implementation, but nonetheless had the correct approach.
At that point, I just grabbed my wallet, took some money out without counting (I was outraged) but enough to cover the check, and placed it on the table. I got up and left the place unapologetically.
As I was driving back home, I kept thinking about the existence of people with such mentality, but was also grateful that I found out about the reality of this person rather early."
"My friend and I met two gorgeous girls on Sunset Boulevard the previous evening. They were seriously stunning girls. We only talked briefly, but agreed to meet them at the Mondrian hotel for drinks the following day.
At lunchtime, we met in the lobby and ordered drinks. One girl looked at the departing waiter’s back and said, 'The standards of this place have gone to the dogs!'
I didn't know what she meant, so I ignored it as my buddy and I tried to figure out which girl liked which guy. The second girl leaned in and with a laugh said, 'People like him won't be shopping on Rodeo Drive anytime soon. They don't take food stamps!'
Worse, I think she deliberately pitched her voice so the waiter could hear. The waiter happened to be African-American, but I had assumed the earlier comment wasn't about that. I mean who thinks that way anymore? Now both these comments were undeniably prejudice and ignorant.
They both laughed. The drinks then just arrived and the waiter served them smartly and nicely. Despite their ignorance, he clearly took pride in his work. I'm not sure how he served us and remained silent, but somehow he did. I got simultaneously angry and disgusted. These two stunning girls were suddenly the ugliest people I'd ever met.
A little about us: I'm Indian and have experienced my fair share of discrimination, especially during the Iranian oil crisis. My buddy is Italian. I’m not sure what he’d experienced growing up, but it didn't matter. We looked at each other, and in that one glance we knew each other’s thoughts. We just gave each other a slight nod and stood up as one. I took out cash plus a generous tip and paid the waiter, thanking him for his service. We told the girls, 'Our afternoon is over.'
One of the girls said, 'What the heck are you talking about?!'
I responded, 'Beauty comes and goes, but stupid is forever.'
One of the girls said, 'You guys have got to be kidding! Look at us! You’re not walking out!'
I couldn’t bring myself to call them 'ladies.' It would have been crediting them with something they were NOT. It was the best line I've ever had the chance to deliver though! We walked out with them screaming, 'No one walks out on us!'
Whatever. We never looked back, but the waiter clapped my hand and bro hugged me before I left. We never felt better, and I've never regretted it. Makes me angry just recalling it. We saw them later that evening out. We went to the Sunset Lounge, and as we were walking home we saw them inside the lounge with two old men, probably between 50 and 60 years old. No issue with that, but they saw us and gave us the finger as we walked by. Then they scooched in close to the men, their expressions saying we missed out. We really didn’t.
I’m truly not sure who I was embarrassed for more, them or their 'dates.' But I would have loved to have seen how that ended."
"I do stand-up comedy, which started from therapy and ended up as a hobby. Comedy is very important to me, and if we don’t jive well in the humor department, then it’s just not going to work. Me on stage is very similar to me in my kitchen. Nothing but vulgar humor mixed with intelligent witty conversation.
After dating for a good amount of time, if I am comfortable with you and I think things are going in the right direction, I will plan a date where I have to perform. I never use my date as material, I am not an idiot. I typically talk about work, intimacy, and silly social contracts. I do my 10 minutes at the open mic night and the crowd loves it. I sit with my date to enjoy the rest of the show.
After the show is over and we finish our drinks, I ask her what she thought and she hit me with a terrible response that I didn’t see coming. 'Why can’t you do cleaner humor?! It’s easy to be dirty and funny, why not do something challenging?'
At this point, I wanted to be nasty and say something about her being a nurse and not a doctor, but that would be unnecessary. I realized up until that point I have been censoring myself around her because we were out in public. We never spent intimate time with each other since I wanted to take it slow. So I just cut to the chase and said, 'This isn’t going to work, but thank you for coming out.'
Her face got red and emotional. She was used to the wholesome, respectful guy who opens doors and pulls out chairs. Which is still me, just not on stage, or in my kitchen.
Anyways she responded with, 'It's a small compromise to make for a great girl. And you would be lucky to have me.'
Which I agree, for most people that is a small compromise to make and she would be a great addition to my life, but unfiltered laughter is what I dream of sharing with my partner. Someone intelligent but knows how to turn it off. This is something I can’t compromise on. By the way, everyone should have something they won’t budge on. Dating is the one arena where you should be a little selfish with your options. So I responded with, 'You can be the juiciest, sweetest peach in the grocery store, but at some point you will realize not everyone likes peaches.'