They say that love is blind. When you feel that you have met your soulmate, nothing could stop you from seeing this person as any less than perfection. But, sometimes, that façade can only last so long.
For these gentlemen, whose stories have been selected from Reddit and edited for quality, their blindness was cured a little too late. If given the chance, they most likely would have cut ties with their "soulmate" out before putting a ring on her finger. Unfortunately, their wives did something in which unconditional love was no longer a safety.
"She falsely told our marriage counselor that I punched her. The next week, she denied saying it and accused our counselor of lying.
He gave me a "You should leave this relationship" look. I took that look as permission from a professional that I definitely wasn't making the wrong decision. I got divorced and never looked back.
I legitimately feared for my safety toward the end - not that she would hurt me, but that she would make a false accusation to the cops or a crazy friend."
"I endured a physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive relationship for over six years with my first wife, four of which we were married. There were many, many instances that should have caused our marriage's demise.
The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, though, was eight days after I had major mouth surgery. Due to a freak medical occurrence, I had to have 28 teeth cut out and two holes drilled into my sinus cavities from top of the back of my gums.
She and I were in a grocery store parking lot, and I asked her not to start an argument in the store because it's a small town and I was so tired of being 'those people.' Her reaction was to backhand me in the mouth. Six times.
Or at least, I counted six times because I'm pretty darn sure I lost consciousness. I just remember waking up when we were pulling into our driveway while she was freaking out because my face was against the window and blood was coming from my mouth like a fountain."
"I know when I should have ran for the hills: when I asked for a prenuptial agreement and she flipped out. She gave me the usual, 'You care more about your stuff,' and 'We could be together forever if you weren't materialistic.' I pointed out that it equally protects her and, as long as we are together, we would never use it. I put my foot down and demanded it or no wedding.
Four years in, after coming back from a deployment, I noticed large sums of my money had been moved around. It turned out that she had a boyfriend and they were going to run off together, after cleaning me out, of course. But, she caught him cheating on her, so I guess I was good enough. The only problem was she did a lousy job covering it up.
The prenuptial agreement made the divorce process easier and I had proof of what she was planning on doing (emails, banking statements, freaking letters), but it was still painful. She and her idiot lawyer tried to drag it out. At one point, I did ask her what I did to deserve her trying to steal all my money and running off and she blamed the prenuptial, saying, 'It made the marriage fake.'"
"She let me know she was pregnant and wanted my permission to tell all her girlfriends during a girls' night out. Since I knew there was no possible way it was my child, she was also, unknowingly, admitting to having an affair. I can math, and she can't. It was with her boss.
Lawyered up the next day and he ate her alive in court. I got primary custody of our child we already had, and child support, and a sheriff's notice that she had to vacate my home in 30 days. I never knew she could be that stupid."
"I was working on a mother-daughter scrapbook as a Christmas present for her. I was going through her Google photos account looking for pics of them together. I came across a selfie she took with some dude laying on her. That confirmed her second affair.
I tried to forgive her and make it work for our daughter's sake after the first affair. I thought she had changed. What a fool I was. I knew it was over the moment I saw it. That messed me up pretty good."
"My wife was around less and less. She had to be free to live her life, go out with her friends. More often than not, she would call me to pick our daughter up from daycare, even though she'd promised to pick her up and have some girl time - 'Just tell her I'm working late or not feeling well.'
She always had something better to do and the kids were old enough to know better. I went to pick our daughter up one day. When they called her name, she came running over until she saw it wasn't mom, again. Her shoulders drop and she slowly walked over to ask, 'What's her excuse this time?'
That was the breaking point. Told her to get out and even helped pay her security deposit to get her out."
"We flew across the country for her sister's wedding. She actually texted me earlier that afternoon and told me she didn't want me to go. I spent the whole day thinking about it and decided this wasn't about me, or her, or us - it was about her sister and honoring her new union. I wanted to make sure I was there to support them. I left work early to catch our flight and my wife was hanging out at our place with one of our good friends. She pretended like everything was normal, packed my suitcase (that she unpacked while I was at work), and, without mentioning a word to me, asked her friend to drive us to the airport.
It was once we parked that my wife decided to ignore me the rest of the night and pretend like I didn't exist. She didn't say a word to me the entire time since we parked at the airport. Once we landed at our destination, we walked to baggage claim (absolute silence preceding for several hours now). At the carousel, I picked up her bag when she took it out of my hand and calmly stated, 'None of my family knows you're here - I told them I came alone.'
She walked out of the airport and left me there.
I didn't go to the wedding, BUT I did rent the nicest hotel I could find and the nicest rental car available and had the time of my life alone for the rest of the weekend. 10/10 would splurge again.
I never was told why she left me in the airport, but from what I've gathered it was so she could get completely wasted at this wedding and hide her problem from me. When she flew home a few days later, she explained that all of this behavior was for me and my best interest. Riiiiight.
We're currently in the middle of the divorce process. This experience was just the cherry on top. We lasted two years. She moved out the day before our second anniversary. For several months, she would wake up in the middle of the night and scream at me about how horrible a husband I was until sunrise. She'd lie to me about getting blackout wasted when I wasn't with her, gaslight our every conversation, and verbally and emotionally abuse me to just about every extent imaginable to make sure she always had her way.
A few weeks after Airport Abandonment 2K17, I packed my bags and left the apartment for several days to get my head on straight. I texted her saying how disappointed I was, how unhappy she had made me, how she didn't care to put our marriage first, and how I really needed her to think about our future because this was the final straw. You know what her immediate response back to me was?
'Did you take the car?'
Narcissistic Personality Disorder made for some really fun scenarios."
"We were already not speaking. It was Thanksgiving. I knew she wasn't going to bother, but I made a turkey and whatever goes with turkey for my then 8-year-old daughter. I had the turkey out on the counter to rest after roasting. My beloved bride walked in, calmly threw the turkey in the kitchen trash can, and walked out.
I had to take my kid to freaking Golden Corral for Thanksgiving. That was it. I was done."
"I always refused to raise my voice during arguments, which usually made her crazier and scream louder. After one such argument, during which our 3-year-old daughter was playing upstairs, she started coming down at the same time her mother was storming up the stairs like a child of comparable age. Our daughter was in the way and her mother got in her face and screamed, 'GOD, I FREAKING HATE YOU, MOVE!'
Of course, my daughter came to me, hurt. That was the moment I decided it was over."
"Besides the narcissism, random violence, and violent outbursts, it was her strange punishments. Her last one doomed her. My crime? I forgot milk on the way home from work so she didn't talk to me, not one word, for a week. PURE BLISS, for a week. When she asked if I was ready to apologize, I handed her the divorce papers.
'Because you rob me of solitude, but provide me with no companionship.'"
"We'd been having so many problems (some minor, some major) for many years. As a last-ditch effort, we decided, on her suggestion, to try an open marriage. I figured at this point I hadn't anything else to lose.
It wasn't even her sleeping with a friend 24 hours later that ticked me off. It was that after a few MONTHS when I finally connected with a girl and we made plans, that's when my wife said she 'wasn't ready for that step yet,' despite months of her having a 'boyfriend.'
Well, as cr as it sounds, we had rules. The last night we were together, I was chatting via text with said girl and she sent me a topless pic. My wife went BALLISTIC. During a two-hour screaming fit, she basically told me I had to cut this girl out of my life completely, but she wasn't willing to leave her boyfriend as they had been friends for over a decade, but she 'would consider not sleeping with him for a while.'
I remember the moment when I walked into the bathroom mid-fight, looked at myself in the mirror, and, as a man who NEVER believed he would divorce, realized that I couldn't do it anymore. Despite her begging me to reconsider, I left the next day. One of the worst things for my lifestyle, one of the best things ever for my sanity."
"One of my best friends got a pretty substantial year end bonus from work. He decided to use most of it for his wife's Christmas gift and pay off her remaining student loans (about $14,700). Christmas morning (he was nice enough to let me stay at his place when I traveled for work, as he lived 20 minutes from the airport) we all woke up and had breakfast. His family and her parents came over and we started exchanging gifts.
Besides paying off her loans, he had gotten her a few small items. She opened the card saying her loans were paid off she just sat there for a minute. After the silence, and assuming she was kinda in shock, she asked, 'Did you seriously not get me anything else? I bought you that stupid keyboard (the wrong one, by the way) and you only got me a few things?'
At that point, his brother-in-law and myself decided to go hang out in another room for a while they ended up getting into a huge fight. A day later, when he was dropping me off at the airport, he told me that he was going to visit a lawyer and get a divorce."
"Fifteen years in, I found texts on her phone. I was completely blindsided. I had no clue she had it in her to cheat. She told me it was just texting and begged for forgiveness. I caved. A month later, checked the phone bill to find that it never stopped. I confronted her again - cue more begging and more denial on my part. I couldn't fathom that she would let the life we had built go down in flames. This went on for a few months. So many promises. One night, I caught her on the phone when she thought I had left.
She said it was just a friend she could talk to and she had let things go too far, promised to break all contact, swore it was never physical. Then I found emails. She detailed things that made me sick to read, but also included descriptions of his house. She broke finally but swore it was all just in the line of duty. That's how they'd met, you see. Visiting nurse service, and this guy was a client. Promised she was done. She loved me, you see? No chance she was going to let 15 years go like that. I wasn't buying it anymore, though.
She announced she was going out one night with a work friend. Promised they were only going to the bar, then she'd be home. Maybe late, but not too late. She had taken over her own phone account by then but wasn't bright enough to understand that Google Latitude still showed me where she was, and I wasn't about to show my hand. She kissed me goodbye, bee-lined right for his house, and was there until the wee hours of the morning.
Once I knew where she had headed, I called her dad and my best friend to keep me from doing anything dumb. I will love them both forever for keeping me calm while my world went freaking insane all around me. My father-in-law offered to stay with the kids and wait for her to get home. Around 3 am, while I was couch surfing at my buddy's place, she sent me a nasty text, asking where the heck I was. I texted her a screenshot of her little GPS dot at her boyfriend's and let her know I'd be sending her some paperwork soon."
"I left for work at 6 a.m. and forgot to unplug the toaster. When I arrived home at 6 p.m., I was given the 'everything you've ever done to tick me off' speech just for leaving the toaster plugged in. I asked her what she did all day that prevented her from unplugging it herself. Another 'you're an insensitive jerk' speech. I said something to the effect of 'Quit acting like your freaking mother.'
She threw the cat at me. A cat. She threw a freaking cat at me."
"She physically attacked me in front of our 11-year-old son. I had been pondering the idea for a while, but that was the clincher. I'm not ashamed. She's nuts.
There had been years of verbal and emotional abuse, threatened violence, cursing, most of it in front of the kid. I wouldn't engage and would shut down for 2-3 days. Why speak when literally everything I said was going to result in that? She would accuse me of being abusive during those shut-downs. Maybe so. But it was my only defense mechanism.
This was usually because I was an 'incompetent' dad. Which I wasn't. But I had expectations and she coddled him. He knew she'd come charging to his rescue if he waited long enough. Basically, I could do no right. Friends stopped coming over because they were tired of watching it. Her brother and his family were encouraging me to get the heck out.
I was 5'10" and about 220 pounds at the time. She's 4'11" and about the same weight. She'd shake her fist in my face and threaten to 'knock [my] teeth down [my] throat.' So I'd have this neanderthal manatee in my face, threatening bodily harm, and I've been training martial arts for years. TKD, hapkido, BJJ. Multiple black belts. There's no way I'm raising a hand against her.
So when she attacked me, well, I've had much worse in training. It was that she did it at all. So I threw her out.
Of course, I got reamed in the divorce. Bad."
"During the last year and a half of our marriage, she became extremely psychologically abusive. She was a narcissist, controlled my every move, would isolate me, refused physical contact. I was just an extension to her life, and as such, was not allowed to talk to any female or hand out with any friends or she would ignore me for up to five days at a time, double standards everywhere, verbal abuse. The list can continue, but it hurts to think about.
The last straw for me was when she threatened to kill me because I came home from work late, even though she knew I would be home late. It was just a little too late for her. This was the second time this happened and I talked with several people at work about it and they suggested that I run. I had texts of the threats on my phone and contacted a lawyer that same week. She agreed to sign since I told her I would take severe legal action if she didn't. Thankfully, no children. I'm happily divorced."
"My son picked out the perfect Christmas present for her: adult coloring books in all her favorite themes. He obsessed for hours on the right ones to get her. He loved to color and she would only do things with him that she liked doing, which included coloring. After we opened presents, she asked what he wanted to do. It was the few hours of a weekend when he got to actually spend time with her.
He was beyond excited. He said he wanted to color with her. He got super excited when she said yes. So, they went and started getting things out and she said, 'Go get your coloring books.'
He said, 'I want to work on a picture together in your book.'
She said, 'No, that is mine. Get yours.' My son burst into tears. Biggest tears I had ever seen. He lost it. And she. Didn't. Change. Her. Mind. Still wouldn't let her 6-year-old touch her coloring book.
"She had lost her job, again, after quitting a decent one because she didn't get along with her boss. Anyway, a few months went by and I was doing everything - cooking, laundry, dishes, yard work, etc. I'd ask the kids, 'What does mom do all day?' and they said she played on the computer all day. So the final straw came when I came home from work and had to wash dishes so I could make dinner.
Dinner was made, so I told my family it was ready. She came to get a plate and served herself first instead of our youngest child, who was four at the time and couldn't serve himself. As I watched this unfold, it dawned on me: If I'm going to do all the work, I might as well do it by myself or find a partner to share the load with, because she clearly didn't want to be on my team."
"When my stepdaughter became a teenager, my ex ramped up the nutso. She had always been an impatient, angry screamer of a parent. But as my stepdaughter became a young woman, my ex just went crazy with envy or something.
I know lots of moms have a hard time with teenage daughters, but their base level patience is so much better than my ex's was: threats of cutting hair in middle of night while daughter slept, pulling hair, slapping face, ridiculing in front of her friends, swinging something that missed and put a hole in the wall - I was out, with the kids."
"She woke me up in the middle of the night to grab the extra blanket off the bed. I expected to find her disgruntled on the couch alone the next morning. I found her in the guest bed with another woman - both naked. No forewarnings or clue-ins, just despondent betrayal.
I woke her for answers and got a whole lot of mumbles. I decided to split for 'space.'
That weekend, we both ended up at the same bar on the same dance floor. I thought she had followed me there to make amends. She brought the same girl and completely ignored me when I called out to her. When I walked up to her, she pretended I was a stranger. I told her I was not going to play any games and didn't know what was going on. She said she didn't want to be married. I gave her the ring back and went to tell my friends goodbye that night. I didn't want to tell them why, I felt so embarrassed.
She saw me talking to my friends and decided to make out in front of us with her new woman directly on the dance floor eight feet away from where I stood while everyone stared.
Looking back now, I realize she probably was scared to come out. I can give her credit for that. But she was an awful person for the way she did it and for never having the courage to say to my face whatever she was feeling. I thought we were best friends. I thought we were going to be together forever. She asked me to marry her.
Now, I'm just grateful for not being with a liar and a coward. I've made a fresh start. Sold everything. Traded my entire wardrobe and style to feel like I'm in a new life. Sure, I've lost more money than I ever thought imaginable. And the dog... I just keep optimistic that I'll find someone who deserves my time. I don't focus on the past and I have faith in God and the future.
Whoever I marry next will be grateful for a man like me and loyal. But until then I'm gonna enjoy the single life again and just play."
"We were already talking separation (although I was hoping for reconciliation), but then I noticed that she was talking a lot in-game with a distant World Of Warcraft friend in our guild. When she told me that she was taking a week to hang out with some friends a few towns over, but that I wouldn't see her at all for that week, I suspected she was going to see him. As one of the guild leaders and someone who managed our website and forums, my suspicion was confirmed when I noticed that they both posted on the forums from the same IP address that I traced back to a hotel in his hometown.
I called her and told her not to come back. Her relationship with him was over by the next time I saw her face to face but we were divorced within a few months. You can never regain trust."
"We met and spent the first seven years of our married life on the West Coast, then moved East. Five years later, I took a job back on the West Coast, but it was the middle of the school year, so I went out ahead and lived on my own until everyone could join me. Things hadn't been very good between us for a while, but I hadn't articulated it to her -or even myself - beyond vague feelings of dissatisfaction.
One weekend, out there on my own, I decided to take a day and drive to one of my favorite towns: a town in which I had lived long before I knew her, a town we had visited often while married. It was late afternoon and I was about to head back to my hotel when I realized that I could visit a particular beach that had special meaning to me from my earlier life there.
I stopped at a convenience store, grabbed a Grolsch like I used to drink on that beach, and drove out there. I hiked out to a specific spot I remembered, sat down, popped the brewski, and looked out over the ocean. And it hit me that I hadn't done that in over 20 years. Whenever we'd visit the area, I'd suggest stopping at the beach, but she wasn't interested and would always veto the idea.
I'm sure it seems like the tiniest thing, but it was the catalyst for me, realizing just how completely dissatisfied I was with our relationship. I think from the time I sat down, I knew it was over within maybe 10 minutes. Just sitting there, sipping my brew, looking at the ocean."