It may be her special day, but there are some things a bride really shouldn't expect from her guests. But nothing will stop the bride from morphing into a bridezilla and causing mayhem and outrageous drama. The poor people who had to attend never anticipated how awkward and messy things could get. Content has been edited for clarity.
"My cousin 'B' believes that she is the queen of England, and all of her subjects must do exactly as she bids. Yeah, you know the type of person I am talking about. So anyway, 'B', who is always broke, finally gets engaged. We are all happy for her. She’s had plenty of failed relationships, partly because she is nuts, partly because she isn’t sure what type of guy she is going for, and partly because she had picked some real weirdos.
Okay so we all hear she is getting married and we are awaiting news on the location. All of a sudden, she notifies her whole family here in Pennsylvania that she and her new fiancé are moving to Florida. This seems like a difficult undertaking, given that 'B' doesn’t even have her own place or furniture, since she bounces around between friends’ and relatives’ homes. Everyone tries to be as helpful and positive as possible so they can be happy, hopefully settle down, and 'B' can FIND A JOB.
The family were all prepared to assist them with the wedding as much as possible. Everyone offered to take on a different job (I was making the flower arrangements). We made a huge mistake in believing that they would be grateful with a nice little wedding, where everyone takes care of one aspect and she chooses the details. Since they have very little money, I couldn’t fathom what else would be possible.
A month ago, 'B' emails and tell us a freaking bomb. They are having a destination wedding to Barbados. They found the perfect venue down there who will take care of putting it together for her, allowing them to stay in the states. I guess this type of wedding is common for the resort. They have wedding packages that only require you to make a few choices and show up, which sounds lovely for people who have that type of money at their disposal.
I was in so much shock thinking of how on earth they could pull this off with no income that I almost overlooked a tiny little detail at the end. It went like this:
'Every couple will be paying $3000. That will cover your trip down, two nights stay, and a percentage of the wedding. Just think of it as a nice little Barbados getaway! While we do love kids, please make arrangements for them to stay home, as we would like to keep it adults only. You can send cash or check to my address and I will give it to the resort. Ladies- please buy or bring your most 'beachy' sun dress in coral or pink and men can wear Bermuda shorts and turquoise polos. If you don’t have anything that matches you can message me. I will pick it out for you and send you a link to the website for purchase. Also, if anyone would be kind enough to gift us just a little more in their check, my fiancée and I will be able to extend our honeymoon. Can’t wait to see everyone there!'
Yep. Needless to say we are unable to go. Maybe it was a good deal, but I wouldn’t know since we don’t have money for vacations like that, and I love my kids more than her. Just reading that email made we want to vomit, and I still can’t believe she actually sent that garbage out to the family knowing none of us are super well off. Best of luck to her and her soon-to-be husband. I do wish them lots of happiness. I hope one day she becomes aware of her selfishness. Maybe one day she will apologize for all the money I wasted making flower arrangements for her little Pennsylvania wedding that she snubbed. I don’t know if everyone would consider her request unreasonable, but for me it sure was bold."
"My cousin and his wife are both high-school teachers and they were invited to the wedding of a fellow teacher. The wedding ceremony and reception all took place at the same venue: it was an outdoor ceremony with a covered pavilion for the reception. The wedding invitation had declared that the reception would be dry and vegan, being 'animal cruelty-free', but without providing serious details. Not a problem, but a bit of a surprise, as their fellow teacher was not known for outspoken or strong beliefs. Well, upon entry, ushers were turning away guests who were not in compliance with this protocol.
What does that mean? Well, basically, people wearing leather shoes or belts, or carrying leather purses or wearing animal products were turned away by these ushers. A few women were able to ditch their purses in their cars, but not everyone was so lucky. My cousin had to show that he wasn’t wearing a leather belt, and his wife declared her shoes to be 'imitation leather', even though they may have been real.
Several of their co-workers went home after being turned away because, well, not everyone brings a second pair of shoes with them for an outdoor summer wedding. According to my cousin, the bride decided last minute that she had to do something to make her wedding 'responsible'. She was a vegetarian (but not a vegan), and she got this idea off the internet. But it’s shocking that ushers were literally 'frisking' people. I don’t know if they checked pockets or purse contents for leather wallets or key chains, but this went way too far.
I have heard of weddings being dry, and that certain untrustworthy individuals were checked for bringing in hip flasks, but that’s usually reserved for the deadbeat brother-in-law specifically, and not the general public. For a wedding which invited people on the periphery of friendship, this was a bad idea and certainly didn’t endear the happy couple to any but their most hardcore, militant vegan friends."
"An old ‘friend’ looked me up and found me out of state. She suggested that I stay at her place while I was waiting to visit my graduate school that I would be attending in a month. (All this is necessary to understand how ‘unreasonable’ her demands on me were). I was thankful for a place to stay. I was paying part of her rent during that time and for my own food. When I got there, she informed me that she would be getting married to this guy she had known for four dates. He lived in California and a mutual friend had introduced them. And then the demands on me began.
'My maid of honor wants me to go white-water rafting down in West Virginia, so you’ll go with me down level 4 rapids, right?' No, I will not risk cerebral palsy to go down class 4 rapids no matter the reasoning. I don’t want to risk being paralyzed in the process of pleasing her. My 'friend' came back to her house injured.
'You’ll help me find my dress and then help me with the reception, I can’t do it all myself!' Okay, spending four whole days at a bridal shop while her 'maid of honor' met us for dinner at Olive Garden. I spent two whole days meeting with various reception locations, pricing out dinners, music, flower arrangements, and all the rest. Where in the heck was her wedding party in all this, since I wasn’t in it?
She booked a local youth hostel for her out-of-town guests to stay in. BUNK BEDS, 10 to a room. Yes, I obviously want to sleep on an upper bunk with my given disability and try not to fall off and ‘ruin’ her evening. Again, who thinks that a youth hostel for disabled and elderly guests, including her own MOTHER, is a good idea?!
She wanted me to pay for half of her dress. I am not independently wealthy. She was marrying a neurosurgeon and working a full-time position at a high-priced job. The last straw was her driving to meet me, throwing the announcement at me, and telling me, 'Just tell your family and friends all I want is them to send me money.'
I was not invited to be part of the wedding party. I did most of the work and I ended up stranded. I tried explaining to her what a friend is and how it’s not about dollar worth. Needless to say, I did not go to the wedding, and her marriage lasted four months when he found out she was pregnant."
"A male friend of ours is getting married and had asked my husband to be in the wedding party. He said yes. We had met his fiancée, Rachel, a handful of times but never got to know her on a personal level. Because of that, Rachel had suggested a get-together at her house prior to the wedding, so that all the people who would be in the wedding could get to know one another. Makes sense.
A week later I got an invitation in the mail for the party, as well as a note stating:
'You are responsible for bringing 10 bottles of soda (must be name brand), home-made brownies for 25 people, 5 bags of chips (must be name brand). Each person can bring food to put on the grill but limited to a hamburger for each, or two hot dogs each, with a small piece of chicken, as well as all condiments (must be name brand).'
My eyes! I had to read it ten times to believe it was real! Bring our own food to fit on the grill? As well as other food?
My phone rang off the hook. Everyone was comparing their 'YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS' list. She assigned one person to bring garbage bags and they were the clean-up crew. Another person was assigned decorations and linens.
I, along with several others, called Rachel to decline. Her response was, 'Okay. But you are still responsible for your list, so please drop those items off to my house ASAP.'
I told her that she is off her rocker. Long story short, the party didn't happen. The wedding was postponed for over a year. The couple divorced two years later."
"A family member of mine married such a 'delightful' woman in April 2018. They had a little courthouse wedding with a few witnesses (relatives), and that was that. Well apparently, the bride and groom decided not to tell either of their family members that they got married, which resulted in them planning another wedding for May 2019. They were already married, but she just wanted a show to put on for the family members who didn’t already know they were married.
Anyway, I wasn’t too excited about attending this wedding because I absolutely despise this woman. But I decided to go just for the groom, since he is a close relative. Now here’s where things get wild. The wedding ceremony was proposed to start at 4:00 p.m. Finally, about 45 minutes later after sitting in the wind, snow, and rain (it was about 40 degrees outside), the ceremony starts. The bridesmaids are wearing horrendously colored dresses (mustard yellow). When it comes time to read the vows, the bride pulls out her cellphone and rambles on for about 10 minutes of every romantic movie cliché quote you can think of. While reading her vows, their baby (about 18 months old) tries to run away and trips on the gravel, scratching up his face and screaming bloody murder. The bride doesn’t even flinch and continues to read her vows. A bridesmaid picks him up and takes him to the reception hall.
After the ceremony, we head to the reception hall. Food looked nice, tables and decorations were nice. Guests were eventually allowed to get up and get their food in a buffet style. A few guests were taking cupcakes at the end of their buffet trip, and the cake lady they hired literally guarded the cupcakes the rest of the time. The bride danced with her father in her dress, and then proceeded to change out of her (very expensive) wedding dress into a t-shirt and jeans to dance with the groom (who was still in his tuxedo). After that, we all had enough and decided to leave early.
A few hours later, a relative calls me and tells me the wedding reception has ended. Everyone was basically kicked out at 8:30 p.m. because the bride was upset that the groom 'wasn’t spending enough time with her'. Apparently spending time with family members who take the time to come to your wedding shouldn't receive any recognition at all?
Let’s fast-forward about two days later. The bride had created a Facebook event page for this wedding. She posted on this page that she wanted to thank everyone for coming and also wanted to thank those who brought gifts and money. Here’s the kicker: she wanted people to donate money to their 'dream honeymoon vacation'. She basically said if you didn’t come to the wedding or if you didn’t bring a gift, she wanted you to donate to their honeymoon fund because their budget was very limited, and they wanted to be able to enjoy their vacation without worrying about funds. Oh, and they were leaving in about two weeks.
You kick your guests out early at your wedding because you threw a fit (might I add they were relatives who drove a couple hours or flew from other states), and now you want those same people to pay for your honeymoon? If you can’t afford to enjoy everything on your honeymoon, why wouldn’t you just save up for a few months to ensure you could have the best possible experience? Why would you rely on other people’s money just because you wanted to rush the vacation?
Needless to say, we were all flabbergasted over this request and didn't know whether to laugh about it or be surprised. She ended up deleting that post, I’m assuming because she realized how foolish of a request that was."
"It was not the child-free request that was unreasonable, but rather the way the request was communicated. So it all starts with sending an RSVP card marked yes for three (myself, my husband, and our just under 2 year old girl), for my husband's cousin's wedding. We'd heard from the groom's parents that the bride's family was quite wealthy compared to anyone in our family, and they were a bit snobby about it. Before sending my RSVP, I did scour the invitation for anything that said no kids, but I didn't notice that the clue was on the envelope, so I sent it in for three.
About a week later, I got a phone call from my husband's aunt. The mother of the bride was in a tizzy about all the families from our side who had RSVPed with children and had demanded the aunt call and set us straight. I told aunt I wasn't sure if we'd be able to make it in that case, so I'd have to call around about childcare and get back to her probably the next day.
This is where things take a turn for the crazy. Within probably two hours, I got another phone call, this time from the mother of the bride (who I had never met). She was absolutely livid that we were all so uncouth as to RSVP incorrectly, and then not immediately be able to answer yes when we found out we needed to round up childcare.
I explained that I hadn't heard back from my parents, which was pretty much my only childcare option, since everyone else we ever left daughter with would be at the wedding. Her annoyed suggestion (said in a tone that suggested I was frightfully stupid for not having thought of this myself)? 'Just leave her with your nanny of course!'
I sat there flabbergasted for a minute, I literally don't know a single person with a nanny. It is not common in our part of the mostly rural Midwest, even if you do have money. I finally sputtered out, 'We don't have a nanny.'
'Oh, you're one of those households that revolves around the children, are you?'
I cannot properly convey the disgust in which this was said.
'I'm a stay at home mom!' I replied.
'Ugh, you'll regret that when they think they need you for everything all the time,' the mother of the bride told me.
I am absolutely gobsmacked right now, I just don't even know what to say to this. I think I just got something out to the effect of, 'If you need to know right now, then we'll have to say no, or I can wait and see what my parents say and get back to the aunt by tomorrow,' before hanging up on her anger.
Well apparently I was in the middle of her list of calls. She had also treated many of my husband's other cousins to this, including the groom's sisters, one of whom was a single mom. The no-kids rule was extended to the groom's niece and nephews as well, despite some of these kids being actually in the wedding (apparently the universally-employed nannies were supposed to take these kids when the ceremony was over). Eventually, the groom's parents got so sick of the whole mess they just said they would pay for all the extra kids meals themselves (I think it was five total).
I got another phone call from the aunt saying how the mother of the bride is still breathing fire about this, but we want all the kids there, we're paying for them, so just bring our daughter anyway. Whatever. After that lovely conversation, I was feeling pretty strongly that ticking her off more sounded like fun. And I was more concerned with making my actual family happy than some stuck-up stranger.
It wound up being a fun night for our side of the family. The mother of the bride kept scowling at the whole group all night. The bride's family was definitely trying very hard to make it a stuffy rich people event, but the groom's side ruined it by laughing too loud and having too much fun on the dance floor. The marriage wound up lasting less than two years. Same cousin's second wife is an absolute delight."
"Well, where to start! My husband’s youngest brother got engaged to a woman after only dating for about four months. They set their wedding date for a little over a year later. Cool, that gives them plenty of time to save money and also really get to know each other too, in my opinion. Fast-forward six months. We are asked if our two youngest children could be in the wedding, ages 4 and 8. Okay, no problem, they are the niece and nephew of the groom after all. So they pick a weekend a few weeks later to go look at flower girl dresses, and also to take us to get my son fitted for a tux. Now, I’m cool with paying for their outfits for the wedding, but when we get to the tux rental place, we find out that the tux they picked out was going to cost $189.00 plus tax. I asked, 'This is for the groomsmen and groom right? Not the ring bearer?'
They said, 'Oh yes, it’s for everyone in the wedding party.'
I flat out told my brother-in-law and his fiancé there was no way I was paying that much, because he did not need to wear a full on tux.
Fast-forward again to about two months before the wedding, and they ask my husband and me to be in the wedding party. WHAT? So come to find out that one of my Brother-in-law’s friend backed out and his wife was going to be in the wedding too. Again, we thought about the cost of the tux rental, $189.00 plus tax. We couldn’t afford the tux for our son, why did they think we could afford one for my husband, and now on top of that they wanted me in the wedding too. So add the cost of a new dress for me. We declined their request and when we did, we were told that we now messed up the number of tuxes rented in order to get my Brother-in-law a free tux! Really?! Ask us to be in the wedding so he doesn’t have to pay the $189.00 tux rental fee! Why? Because they couldn’t afford it! We asked them why did they would even pick something like that in the first place? They didn’t have an answer.
Now another month after that, we are right at the point of them sending out their invitations. I get a call from my future sister-in-law asking what kind of food they should serve at the reception, because the original plan on having a Mexican food buffet fell through. Turns out the couple couldn't afford it, because they were not going to get help from her father like they thought. So I told her that we could still make it nice and that I would help her cook all the sides, and then they would only have to purchase the meat from a caterer or restaurant. She thanked me and said that would be great and appreciated my help.
So their reception ended up being a pot-luck reception, and they assigned different dishes to their guests. My husband and I didn’t even get an invitation in the mail. My Brother-in-law was supposed to come and hand deliver it to us, so they could save money on stamps. They finally brought us our invitation, two days before the wedding, and I was assigned a casserole as well!
It was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen in my life for a wedding reception. The bridal shower was just as bad. They had it in the back half of a hamburger joint and once everyone was there, they said that we could all go order food if we wanted to eat, at our own expense, and then we could all just eat our food while they opened gifts and played games. They did have a cake for everyone, but that is all they provided. The couple's marriage didn't even last a full year. Anyone guess why it didn't work out? Money! They didn't have any, and they blamed each other for their penniless fortune."
"My best friend asked me to be her bridesmaid roughly one year before her wedding, which I agreed to do. I must point out that I am Italian and so is my friend. In Italy, you have a 'witness' instead of a bridesmaid or groomsman. One for the bride and one for the groom.
In the year leading to her wedding, my husband was forced to move far away to find a job to support the family, leaving me with my 6-year-old son and two dogs. He had struggled to find where where we were located, relying on family for help. Once he settled, I wanted to join him with my son and dogs. The moving date was April 21, and her wedding was on May 1st. I must point out that I was completely broke at that time, I was working part-time, and my husband spent almost a trying saving up for a home for all of us.
A few weeks before the big day, I ask her what gift she wanted, and she said, 'Well, it is tradition here that the witness of the bride and the witness of the groom buy the wedding rings.'
I later found out that this is not tradition at all.
So I asked what she wanted me to do next, and she said, 'You will need to come to the jewelry shop, so we can choose our rings and you pay for mine, while the other witness will pay for the other.'
Remember I was broke, but I was willing to fly back a few days after the move to attend the wedding and make her happy. When I asked her how much the budget was, she said she wasn’t sure, but around $400, maybe more. I said I could not afford it, and she said, 'Okay no problem, but you can’t be my witness anymore, as it’s tradition! Another friend of mine agreed to buy me the ring and she will be my witness. But you can still come to the wedding.'
Needless to say, I didn’t attend the wedding and haven’t spoken to her over the past five years. We grew up together and I thought we were best friends, but she treated me and made me feel so small and insignificant. They divorced less than two years later."
"Years after I got married, my husband’s little brother, my brother-in-law, is getting married. they had some interesting ideas, with uniforms and swords and a fairy-tale horse and carriage. My husband and I are both broke college students again. I’m working on a masters part-time and working full-time, while he’s finishing up his bachelor’s on the GI Bill. With the happy date fast approaching, my mother-in-law mentions casually, like it was no big deal, that she needed $130 for my bridesmaid’s dress by the weekend.
Turns out, my husband and I were both in the wedding. Unbeknownst to either one of us. I was supposed to not only stand up with my brother-in-law’s fiancé at their wedding, a woman I had never met, but also I was supposed to cough up $130 for the bridesmaid’s dresses I had never seen or heard about until that moment. This would be for a wedding that had been a YEAR in the planning. I would have to travel across two states and stay in an expensive hotel as well. None of which had been mentioned to me, much less discussed with me until that moment in time.
I did what I always had to do with my mother-in-law. I took a deep breath, I drew a firm line, and I stood behind it. What dastardly thing did I do to ruin her picture-postcard dream wedding of her beloved baby boy? I said no.
My brother-in-law and his future bride came over to our apartment. My mother-in-law sicked them on me. I explained how I loved my brother-in-law very much, and I was honored, but not only did I not feel comfortable standing up for someone I’d never even met before that moment, but we really couldn’t afford it. Any of it. I deeply resented my mother-in-law for committing me to something without even asking me, as well as putting me on the spot for having to explain that I was fiscally responsible enough to know we couldn’t afford it. Thankfully, my husband backed me 100%.
My father-in-law got involved. He said he’d pay for everything: the dress, the trip, and the hotel. I said thank-you, it’s appreciated and the only way we could possibly attend, but I won’t be in the wedding party. I’ll attend, I’ll wish them the best. But she should pick someone she has actually KNOWS, for more than the 10 minutes in my living room while I explained I wouldn’t be in her wedding party, to stand up with her on her most special day. It was a big deal for the next several years. My mother-in-law mentioned it A LOT. I ignored it and carried on.
The SECOND most outrageous invitation arrived via snail mail a few years ago at a low point for me during a medical scare (but I’m healthy now). It was from a (at best) casual internet friend who asked me to drop everything, fly out to Denver, and be her maid-of-honor. On the Saturday coming up. I had to email her (we weren’t close enough to have each other’s phone numbers). I told her that I had a surgery scheduled right before her wedding. I would also be in a cancer screening, and I would need weeks of bed rest after the surgery. Her answer? 'But what will I do? Can you reschedule your surgery?'"