Ever had that feeling of instantly liking someone? Wanting to talk to them, go out on dates, be with them. Otherwise, known as a crush, these can lead to a wonderful relationship. Although, that doesn't always happen. Sometimes without warning, crushes can fizzle out as quickly as they started.
People on Reddit share why they lost interest in their crush. Content has been edited for clarity.
"This girl I liked would always be somehow busy whenever I texted her trying to meet up with her, but she never actually said she doesn't want to hang out or anything. She actually implied the contrary, although she would very rarely initiate contact herself. When we finally managed to meet, she had a friend with her and all but ignored me most of the evening. I mean, I realize I'm not entitled to her attention or affection, and I do get the hint by now - but she could just have said that she's not interested. Feels pretty awful to be stringed along like that. I would always get my hopes up.
She also texted me a couple of weeks ago asking if I still was interested in hanging out, to which I of course replied yes (I still like her a lot after all, all I wanted was a chance to privately talk to her in person). She said she would contact me when she's ready to go out again, since she had spent the previous week on a couple of festivals and was tired. That was almost a month ago, I haven't heard from her ever since and I will not contact her again, so I guess that's the end of it.
Bonus points for us both living in the same tiny city with like five or six bars to go to. It will be awkward as heck running into her."
"If she did something and I complained, I was in the wrong, if I did the same thing she did, I was in the wrong. If I just wanted to relax after the hour half long trip to her house I'd get yelled at for lazing around on the couch for an hour. Apparently, I was the one that got upset when things didn't go my way, yet she'd refuse to speak to me in person unless I met her demands. It was really great until it turned very toxic, we ended on bad terms.
About four months later she messages me, I thought maybe she want to just be friends again, but nope. First five minutes of talking in four months, and she's back at blaming me for how it was my fault that everything went south.
This whole thing has honestly destroyed any feeling of wanting to be in a relationship again, I've never had any good luck with relationships."
"I had a crush on this girl for three years, she was one of my best friends. She was the type who would laugh at my jokes even if they weren't funny, and the kind who you feel like you can tell anything. In fact, she was the girl who was almost my only contact to the outside world when my father died, which was recent at the time.
It was her senior year of high school, my junior year, and I had been talking her through another one of three break-ups she had gone through, in these three years, via text message, when she said something along the lines of 'Maybe we should date?' and that's when I messed up.
I told her how I felt about her for three years in a long worded heartfelt message, mentioning things such as how my heart would beat twice as strong whenever she came around. She didn't reply at first, then about an hour later she texted me back and said something like 'I'm glad that you told me, I feel that way too.'
I found out a few days later she was joking about us dating, and she didn't actually feel that way about me she said it out of pity. I overheard her saying this to another female friend while walking behind her in the hallway. If that wasn't a crushing enough blow, she showed my messages to our entire friend group, and after that, I lost all the respect of everyone. Not a single friend could take me seriously, even to the point where I heard my 'friends' making fun of me behind my back. I had very strong feelings for that girl for three years, and found I couldn't break those feelings, no matter how much I tried.
For the next few months, I found myself emotionally torn and I began a long process redefine my entire ideas and ideals of reality. No matter how much I thought, I couldn't stop feeling both intense sadness and borderline love for three months. That was when I found out that she had started sleeping with one of my friends. They started dating shortly after. At this point, I was so emotionally exhausted that I just wasn't sure if I could feel anything anymore, nothing was fun, nothing made me upset, I just toiled. I had completely changed as a person, I went from extrovert to introvert. I went to one small party, just so I could get to see her again. She was with him, they were laying under a blanket together, and I was clearly seeing something going on discreetly underneath it. I put on a brave face until I had a few in me. I couldn't control my tears, and when people asked my why I was crying, I simply said that 'I had no idea. '
Another female friend who was a part of our friend group, but a bit of an introvert herself, took me up to a bedroom to talk. I told her how horrible I felt, and how I somehow felt comfortable with the pain I was feeling, because at least it was something real. We woke up in the same bed (but we didn't do anything, although I would have, it just wasn't a good time for it) that day the other girl told some people in our friend group about how 'messed up I was,' and she also told the school councilor that she thought I was at risk for suicide.
I wasn't at risk for suicide, but I still got forced into seeing a shrink additionally, having to take depression pills (which only made matters worse) and had to take a suicide survey twice a week. To this day, I have only pursued females who I've known I can sleep with and walk away from. My faith in mankind was broken, and I promised to myself that I would never ever try to wrong another human being as long as I didn't have to. That's my situation, I still can't understand whether I love or hate that girl. I speak to her on rare occasion, and she's been dating a different guy for a few years now. I don't think she really knows how badly she messed with my mind."
"She told me she would go to a school dance, then made an excuse that she had a family reunion she forgot she had that weekend, and she answered me asking her to the dance before her mom remembered it was happening.
I went with my cousin to the dance who was also dumped by her date a week before her schools dance. I then invited her to a birthday party I was having, since my sister insisted I have a 16th birthday party with some friends, which she showed up to with two other friends that I hardly knew.
Then I invited her to the drive-in movies with a group of friends, and she showed up in her own truck with another guy and these same two friends.
Even after all this, I was the idiot and thought Alright, let's try again on that dance thing, and asked her to another dance at the end of the year. Thankfully, she told me that she was going to Wyoming to visit her boyfriend who worked in the oil fields.
Keep in mind we're 16 and in high school, and she's dating some 23-year-old dude working in the oil fields. Turns out the boyfriend thing is true, or half the school is lying to me. So I drop it and get hooked on another girl who is much sweeter, and we casually dated for a while, but it never panned out.
Then a couple of years later, this oil field boyfriend proposed on graduation night. They had a baby six months later. Yup. I'm glad I got the heck away from that.
Now I'm dating the love of my life, and we plan on getting married in April, so life is good, and she's much less crazy than that chick."
"There's this girl that I used to have a big crush on, but I mainly was trying to get over my ex, because I really loved her so much, and it crushed me when we broke up.
Anyway, I lost interest in her once she started talking about how she 'needs a boo' but ended up rejecting most of the guys who tried to ask her out. Which, some are in the right to be rejected because they awful people, sending unsolicited member pics. She also said she saw me as a friend, and as if that wasn't enough, she called herself a tease. That was the final straw, and I lost interest. We're still friends though, but I can no longer see myself with her anymore."
"He was sweet when we entered high school. But he turned into a spoiled brat during our sophomore year and I heard him say possibly one of the rudest things I've ever heard.
He insulted a teacher's aid's clothes. I can't repeat it exactly, but it was along the lines of her clothes being 'ratty' or 'something a crazy cat lady would wear.' She was young, probably in college, and she was wearing a floral blouse and jeans, but they were nice. I saw her face when he said it; she wanted to cry. I felt awful, she was the sweetest girl you'd meet. The entire class was appalled, including me. The aid was fine after a group of girls went up to her and I guess complimented her? I didn't know, but she seemed more confident after.
After that, I questioned what the heck I ever saw in him. I hear he was held back and has to repeat his senior year, though."
"Freshman year of high school, I had a big crush on this one girl I met the first day. She had natural red hair and that’s when I realized I had a big thing for red heads.
I started talking to her and the more I got to know her the less interested I was. She was super self-absorbed, and the moment I completely lost interest was when she mentioned her boyfriend was in prison. Her 25-year-old, at the time, boyfriend. We were both 15."
"She tried to take advantage of my feelings for her, and just wanted to sleep with me. Hanky panky. I learned she was a very messed up person, but it's not entirely her fault, because she was put through a lot of bad abuse. Plus, her ex-boyfriend used to beat her (this was in high school). She started to treat me like trash, and my psychologist said a lot of the stuff she did was a comfort thing. We connected in a lot of ways, but she was toxic, and I cut contact. I hope she's doing a lot better, and I guess she went to rehab after high school."
"When I found out that he was interested in one of my close friends before he noticed me. As an incredibly insecure girl who tends to compare herself to almost all her friends (I'm working on it!), that really put me off.
Tried to give it a chance though and went out with him like three times. I ended up not wanting to date him because he didn't wear deodorant or cologne. It's not that he smelled sweaty, but his natural odor wasn't pleasant at all for me! No idea why I'm so sensitive to smells, but it's not the first time it puts me off a relationship or friendship."
"I had a crush in 6th grade. Really cute girl but was known as one of the 'popular girls.' Let's not add any detail and say it right here. She was a meanie. A real meanie. She was one of those girls who are like 'I don't want to be in a relationship right now,' but talk about missing her ex multiple times. I don't want that in a girl. Also, like I said, she was a meanie. She had posted multiple Snapchats making fun of special ed kids, kids who were less fortunate than her, and also made fun of 'ugly' people.
She was the type of girl who would screenshot someone's Snapchat story before they can delete it and post the Snapchat video or image on her story and make fun of it. One time, a special ed kid made a Snapchat video of him saying hi to some girl on a group chat. She took the video and made fun of him in her Snapchat story. Like what? Who the heck does that, and why? It's so mean!
She also did stuff like make fun of kids who lost in fight videos, ugly people, and that is just ludicrous, inhumane, and of all selfish and I'm glad that I lost interest. Just so scummy."
"We dated once before. After we had a mutual break up, we remained pretty good friends, I had other girlfriends, but still, something about her and I together - we were just like meant to be together.
So after I had a tough breakup, we began texting and hanging out, we told each other a lot about ourselves through the entire friendship, texted every day, etc, etc. She even wanted to get back together, but I wanted to wait it out, and see if there's anything we can do to make sure we can have a stable relationship.
Texting, talking, and hanging out, and then one day, she just stopped contacting me. She just, disappeared. She was still active on everything else, but she just..quit on me. Like something in her mind just made her want to stop talking to me. I didn't say anything to her, as we'd only talk about good things, but she just disappeared when I started to believe I liked her again. Sounds corny, I know, but to just disappear and completely ignore me, I don't like you that much anymore. And I'm not the person that texts over and over if no reply. I will text her maybe once a week, but she just reads the messages, and doesn't reply. I ask her if I did anything, and she doesn't reply, but reads it.. So, I think I don't like her anymore."
"I once had a bit of a crush on a coworker. We had quite a bit in common, but she was much more of an extrovert and much more promiscuous than me.
I think she was aware that I was attracted to her and tried to make me jealous/uncomfortable. Not sure if she wanted me to flirt with her or actually ask her out or what...
Anyway one day at the start of the week she tells me that over the weekend she slept with four different guys.
Trying to remain composed/relaxed, I asked 'At once?'
She said 'No, no. Separately. One after the other. One guy left, another came over. They weren't aware of each other.'
I managed to follow-up with, 'Did you at least shower in between?'
She said, 'The first few I did. I didn't shower between the last two.'
Put me right off. Maybe that was her intention all along, or she could have just been messing with me. I think she just liked the attention."
"That he was a huge player.
Dude hit on me, slipped me his number and always made it a point to talk to me....when he had a girlfriend. He even lived with her for a few months.
He was really charming, so while I was uncomfortable, I still would interact with him, hoping maybe he'd become single. Like a total idiot.
Well, I learned he couldn't be bothered to communicate he wasn't coming to a small game night. He'd ignore the group chat, I'd have to text him, and then he'd blow the night off. He clearly had no regard for my time or the other persons.
It was like a fog lifted. I finally saw how all of his actions were pretty darn awful. He very much kinda strung me along and then started ditching me for specific reasons unknown.
Kinda sucked, very disappointing. I'm just glad I didn't really get involved with him."
"She was just way out of my league, and I guess I was in the friend zone anyway (back when the term 'friend zone' wasn't really a thing yet). Which I liked. Being her friend made me happy. Seeing her being happily together with whomever made me happy as well. She pretty much defined my teenage years, had a huge impact on me. Yeah, I'd say I loved her beyond the wish to be with her.
Eventually I met and got together with my first girlfriend though, and upon telling her about it, she started hating me for it. Simply for the fact that I had found someone to really be with. We were still 'friends,' but she made me feel her grudge constantly. A couple of years and a bunch of unpleasant events later, our friendship truly ended, as if it had never existed. Sure, at some point I hated her too. Once again, we had some difficult times after it started going downhill. But over time those emotions vanished and all that remains today are a sizable number of very fond memories. Well, for me at least. Haven't heard from her in years."
"I met a lady on OK Cupid, and went on a first date with her. We had a great time, and the next weekend, she was going on a hike with some other random people from Meetup. I decided to tag along, and afterwards we all went to get lunch. Over lunch, the discussion turned political.
Now, I really don't like confrontation, but fortunately this discussion stayed pretty civil - but there was one point where one guy had expressed his opinion on a topic and the lady I was interested in replied with a very sarcastic, 'Well that sure is an interesting way to look at it.'
At that moment, her mannerism reminded me 100% of a hugely obnoxious guy I'd worked with previously. He was the kind of guy that either you agreed with him or you were an idiot. I couldn't stand the guys, and the moment this lady became associated with that guy in my mind, it was over.
I literally switched from 'this is going really well' to 'no thank you' in the time it took her to make that statement."
"Well where do I begin? She did a lot of things, but I was madly in love with her. We had dated in middle school, but decided to end it on mutual consent. So high school comes around, and she said she wanted to hang out with me to catch up with each other after summer vacation. So, I go to the mall and wait for her. Being the foolish 15-year old I was, I show up at the Starbucks and wait for her.
Two hours have passed, and she still hadn't shown up, so I leave. The next day at school she said she couldn't get a hold of me since her phone service was out, so I let it slip by. Later that week, our school was playing a big football game, so I invited her, and she said yes that she would go if I paid for her ticket. So, I thought that it was almost a date.
I go with the plan, I show up at the stadiums gates waiting for her, and she calls me saying she has orchestra practice, so I was like Well, now I look like an idiot. So I kept trying to talk to her for about a month until she tells my friend that she doesn't know why I'm trying to talk to her and that she's dating someone else. When my friend told me I was like, 'What the heck?! Why didn't you have the courage to tell me yourself?'
So at that point, I'm like forget this trash. So pretty much she wanted me to go away but didn't have the balls to tell me in person. Now we're both seniors and she's trying to get with me but I don't want to be with her because I found someone better than her."
"I met him while studying abroad (he was in my program). He was already in a relationship back home, so I kept my crush private and just focused on being friends. We became pretty close over the course of the program. Hung out a lot, studied together, did stuff in groups and just the two of us. I had so much fun being his friend, it didn't even bother me that much that he was off limits for me romantically. I thought I did a good job hiding how I felt. But a few months in, he suddenly became really distant from me--stopped hanging out, barely said a word to me, couldn't even look me in the eye.
For the rest of the program, he acted like we'd never been friends, and he never said why. I let him have his space, but it broke my heart--losing his friendship was devastating for me. After the program ended, several months later, I got confirmation from a mutual friend that he'd dropped our friendship because he'd started suspecting me of having feelings for him. I figured this was the case, but it still infuriated me because he'd chosen not to talk to me about it. I thought he was the kind of guy who would talk about whatever was bothering him, but nope. He just walked away without a word and never gave our friendship another thought.
Anyway, once I found out for sure the reason for his sudden turnaround, I stopped respecting him so much. It's hard to love a coward who can't trust his friends enough to be honest with them."