What are the secrets to a long-lasting relationship? How do all of these people make it work so well? Turns out these are the exact people with all the answers. Fair warning: your heart will melt after reading the sweet, adorable things people do for their significant others. Content has been edited for clarity.
“My fiancé always gives me goodbye kisses every morning. Even if I’m dead to the world, drooling, or have horrible morning breath. He kisses me three times. First time is to find my lips and wake me up enough, second one is a good long kiss, and the last one is the goodbye kiss. Then we yell back and forth saying ‘I love you,’ ‘I miss you,’ ‘Have a good day,’ until he walks out the front door. It’s so simple, and a lot of times I’m too far asleep to actually talk, so all my replies are mumbles. They absolutely make my day.”
Red Hot Love
“I’m pretty badly allergic to red dye in foods and drinks, not to the point of anaphylactic shock, but my throat starts to close up almost immediately. I’m usually careful, but I’ve slipped up twice while I was with my boyfriend. The first time was way worse than the second. That first time, I luckily found some extra Benadryl as he watched me rip through two first aid kits at our job (we both worked at a grocery store, in different departments).
The second time was in his Jeep after eating a mint. There was some coughing and swelling, but much easier to manage. I was actually embarrassed to ask if he had any type of medication in his car, because at that current moment we were fighting over something stupid. I made a comment about leaving some Benadryl in his glove box in case I ever needed it, which he didn’t think would matter, since he purposely looks at the ingredient lists now ever since the first accident.
A couple days ago, after making a joke about drinking something with red dye to be able to get out of work, told me he put Benadryl in his Jeep so ‘that plan wouldn’t work’. I didn’t believe him until he physically pulled a box of it out.
Not only does he make an extra effort to read ingredients now for me just in case, but he also keeps extra Benadryl nearby, in case we’re ever out somewhere and I need it immediately. I still can’t get over how sweet that is.”
Nothing Fishy About Him!
“My partner picks the bones out of my fish. He loves to cook, and I wasn’t raised on fish. He loves fish and rarely cooks it, because I’m not a fan. But I’ve been trying to expand my palette (which isn’t hard because he cooks really well), and I’ve been trying more fish. It’s taken a while, but I’m learning to like it. But I hate biting into bones! Any bones in any meat. Gives me the willies.
So to help me have a happier fish eating experience, he will diligently pick out every little tiny hair-like translucent bone for me before he serves. We split a trout the other night, and his half was riddled with bones (he doesn’t care), but mine was perfectly clean. He didn’t seem to think it was a big deal, but it meant a lot to me that he’s willing to go through the extra effort of making the meal pleasant for me. It wasn’t just that he made me a meal. It’s that he really wanted me to enjoy it.”
“When they show up to support you without being asked. Someone I was seeing once showed up to visit me in hospital without being asked. It was such a huge gesture for me. If I didn’t have an IV in, I would have scaled him like a monkey climbing a tree.”
Cutesy Nights Out
“When my wife and I are out to dinner, we always reach across the table to hold hands while waiting to be served. It just cements the bond, and as a bonus, waitresses love to comment on how cute it is to see us holding hand. I guess nobody else does this regularly?
We’ve been married 10 years and still do it whenever possible.”
In Sickness And In Health
“My boyfriend got back after being in the field for weeks (he’s stationed in the army). When he came home, I had a horrible case of the flu. Hardcore. I hadn’t eaten in days and couldn’t keep anything down. He was also exhausted. He’d barely slept for weeks, but he had work again in less than 6 hours.
After he got home, he took my hand, put me in the car, and drove me to Walmart at 1 a.m. to get soup. He also knows whenever it’s my time of the month, I crave Reeses like crazy. Every month he comes home with a fresh bag.
I’m going to marry this man.”
“When my boyfriend thought I was sleeping, he muttered everything he was going to do for me, while also half-asleep. He mentioned how he would protect me, and marry me. He followed that up by a forehead kiss and held me tighter. If that isn’t simple and extremely wholesome, then I don’t know what is.”
The Key To Happiness
“Spend time together. I know this one from my parents. My dad is a huge romantic. My mom is not. So he knows he won’t be able to woo her with flowers or kisses. She doesn’t like those things.
But the thing that makes her happiest is something as simple as talking for a walk together. Or sitting in the couch and watching something together. Going for a drive to see something. Just being near. Just being in the same room, and appreciating each other being there.
Just take time to be close to each other. That’s really as simple as it gets.”
“Forehead kisses. They’re special because they’re not supposed to be romantic. You’d give a friend or a sibling or a parent a kiss on the forehead. It’s a sign of affection and appreciation and support, without the connotations associated with a kiss on the lips. It means no-strings-attached love for a person.
He or she receiving this gesture knows that they are genuinely and unconditionally loved. That’s what makes it romantic.”
I’ll Be There
“When you get or give your full support during hard times, even if you haven’t been together for very long, that’s what really matters.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 10 months now, but had been distant friends way before that. When we started talking about a year ago, we would talk about our issues and such, just dumb stuff. Then one day after graduation practice, I went with him to visit one if his grandmothers, who had recently had another stroke. We stayed at the hospital with her for a little while, until he later took me home. He kept apologizing for keeping me out later than we planned, but I told him to stop apologizing, as I was there for the long run.
A few weeks later, his other grandma was getting sick. During this time, he was moving down to Florida, and I didn’t get to see him as often. It was a while before I could travel down to visit him for a few months. We were dating by then. His grandma didn’t have much time left, so he came up to visit her. He wanted me to go with him, so I did. It was pitiful and I hated to see him hurt, but I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. About a week later, I went to the funeral and sat with his family. From time to time, I try to update him on how her grave site looks, since he doesn’t live as close to her as I do. Sadly we are currently in a long-distance relationship, but hopefully we are getting an apartment together soon!”
After All This Time
“Take an active interest in the way your partner looks.
After almost 20 years of marriage, my husband just started doing this. I mentioned I was thinking of getting a hair cut, but not sure of what to get. He suggested a style to me he thought would look really nice. I ended up getting it and absolutely love it. I constantly get complements.
He also started a job working retail for the first time ever and has consequently bought me, on two different occasions, a nice shirt he saw on clearance. He thought it would look nice on me and feel nice to snuggle me in. I also get complimented on those all the time, and it means so much more when I say, ‘Thank you! My husband got it for me!’
It lets me know he still cares and still thinks I am beautiful, like he used to tell me all the time in the beginning of our relationship.”
Hopelessly Devoted To Her
“He always gives me the cherries off his sundaes and milkshakes. We’re not cuddly sleepers, but I always fall asleep with his hand touching some part of my body, and I often wake up with his hand under my pillow. We never, no matter how angry we may be, hang up the phone without saying I love you.
And lastly, we met in high school and started dating 19 years ago. Before we even started dating, we were at a party with one of those white elephant gift exchanges. I REALLY wanted this beanie baby thing, but this chick and all her friends kept stealing it. By the end of the game, I didn’t have it and was super bummed about it. Monday morning rolled around, and he showed up with a shoe box wrapped in the Sunday cartoons.
Inside the box was a goat, like the one I’d been trying to win. Stupid me. It still took me another year to realize he was into me and for us to become a couple.”
This Man Has All The Answers
Well this seemingly should be a simple answer, but it’s not. I’ll try not to get too deep, but what I will say is that it all depends on whom the romantic gesture is for. I know that sounds like a cop out, or a cliché, but it’s true, and probably one of the most important things in any relationship. We as humans give and receive love in a variety of ways and the way that both partners in a relationship give/receive love can differ from one another. If this happens and is unrecognized, it can lead to a lot of confusion and resentment. Both partners can think that they are continually and sometimes desperately trying to show their love for each other, but it is lost in translation. To add even more confusion some people give love one way and receive love an entirely different way and many times in more than one way.
Here’s a quick, not all-inclusive list:
The simplest way to figure all of this out is to just sit down and talk about it. Ask each other questions like, ‘What am I doing when you feel the most loved?’, ‘What do I do that makes you feel unloved?’ Sometimes, it’s not always easy to have those talks, so you can just observe your partner. Look for things from the list above that they do for you, and you can probably identify the ways they are trying to show you their love. Listen to them to try to find clues as to how they receive love. Is there something that they frequently comment or complain about? Do they ask you to do more around the house? Or complain you aren’t focused on them when you’re together? Things like that can clue you in.
You can easily see how things can get mixed up. If your partner receives love via small acts of kindness and time, and you give love through physicality and providing, things can get hairy real quick. They will ask you if you still love them because they don’t feel it, and in your head you are screaming, ‘I work 12 hours a day so we can vacation together, and every time I walk by you, I brush against your arm or shoulder, or give you a quick kiss.’
Now you feel like your love is unappreciated and they feel unloved, deepening your divide.
And this understanding can help both ways. If you both understand the ways that you love, it’s easier to recognize your partner’s attempts to love you. Keep in mind, this isn’t a direct replacement for adapting and learning to show love the way that they would like it, but they can certainly supplement each other.
This is based on what I learned from a seminar I received in post-deployment training several years ago, but this was eye-opening information for me and my wife. I wouldn’t say it saved our marriage, but it was immensely helpful to us.”