The only thing worse than a broken heart is a heart that was broken by a lying cheater. These are the stories from women that have discovered their husbands and boyfriends were cheating on them in the worst ways. Like walking in on them in the act or hearing voices in the background on phone calls or even worse, when their kids know before they do! Content has been edited for clarity.
She’s Better Off Alone
“My boyfriend was sleeping with his ex-girlfriend right in front of my face for months and I ignored the signs.
The first thing that I noticed was that he all of a sudden stopped talking about her. He went from complaining about her all the time to never even saying her name.
Next, my toothbrush at his place disappeared and the couple items I kept there were put in a bag under the sink covered by a towel. When I asked, he said he didn’t want his daughter to get into it on the weekends she was there. The same thing with the one pair of flip-flops I had there. They went missing one day and after pressing him over and over, he got them off of the back porch that no one even goes out on, after saying repeatedly that he had no idea where they went.
Then, he started to pick fights with me on Saturday nights, four or five in a row! He would text me a whole bunch of times if I didn’t respond to the first text in two minutes. He would just be mean, saying I’m ignoring him and not to bother talking to him the rest of the night cause I must be hanging out with someone else. Even with all the little things piling up, I still thought he wouldn’t do that to me.
The day I accidentally caught them was the worst. We made dinner plans with another couple for that night, but around 4 pm, he started texting me acting like a complete twerp and said he was trashed and in a bad mood and depressed and just couldn’t go out and not to come over because he would just be a twerp and he ‘didn’t want to do that to me.’
Well, I figured I’d be a good girlfriend and bring him dinner from a restaurant. I texted him five minutes before I left and said I was on my way and he texted back and said he was in bed and not to come, but I said I’ll just leave it in the fridge cause I already bought it and didn’t want to waste it. When I drove up to his house his car was pulled all the way up the driveway like another car had been parked behind it and I thought that was weird since I ALWAYS had to pull his car in to park in the driveway because he would park at the bottom.
When I got inside, he was upstairs in his room, fully dressed, there were two cups on the nightstand. I decided the easiest way would be to catch him in a lie so all I said was, ‘I saw someone pulling out of your driveway as I was pulling up, who was that?’
The look on his face said it all. I started crying, begging him to tell me the truth, he said I was crazy and that his brother had just stopped by to drop some stuff off. Well, that was it, I knew he was lying for sure. I pulled up Snapchat and his brother had snapped from a baseball game two hours away. Obviously he was caught, so he came clean said he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend, even though she was horrible and I was so much better, he couldn’t get over her and would never be able to and he wanted to tell me for so long and that he thought I really knew, etc…
I tried to make it work, but a week later I drove by after he said I was annoying him all day and wanted to be alone, and her car was there. I knocked on the door and he answered, but couldn’t really say much, we both knew she was upstairs. I yelled up that she was a floozy and she came downstairs. She said had no idea we were together. I wasn’t sure what to believe so I just left.
He called me a lot after that, begging me for forgiveness. He said he never slept with her they were just hanging out. I still miss him dearly, but I can’t do that to myself.
Being alone is better than being with someone who doesn’t really love you.”
She Took Charge
“He changed his phone password. I left it for months until something just wasn’t sitting right in my gut. I unlocked his phone with my thumb and I didn’t even have to look – there was a messaging app open with a girl he was meeting the next day. He had forgotten when I purchased him his iPhone that we added my thumb to his identification list. His was also in mine. Up until that day, we had always shared phone passwords. I thought it was odd because I was using his phone for GPS – but he took it from me and unlocked it himself.
I sent him to work without confronting him. I reset passwords through a long chain of emails to finally access the one associated with the messaging app.
Low and behold, he was sending approximately ten thousand emails per year for the last four years of our relationship. He was living a whole second life and hiding it from everyone. Our relationship had never APPEARED stronger and we had been seeing a therapist to work on strengthing our communication for eight months, once a week (clearly he was hiding his issues from the therapist as well.)
At the time, I felt like it ruined my life. I remember thinking very clearly, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ When I thought that, something inside of me just snapped. I calmly went and bought a giant coffee, and cardboard boxes. I packed all his things up before he was home from work and changed our locks.
I moved his things into storage and left the key along with a passive-aggressive note. He left me a short note, apologizing for what he did and owning up to it. He made a social media post telling everyone what he did and ask they leave him alone and support me. I saw him weeks later to talk and he didn’t try to hide what he had done and was transparent.
I loved him and if he had come to me and admitted he had this problem, I would have helped him seek therapy. It wasn’t the subject matter so much that is the issue – addiction is addiction. It’s the lying.”
His Life Was Full Affairs
“It was on a very rare date night, with the kids at the grandparent’s house. I’m looking extra cute so didn’t even want to carry a purse or my cell. I used his phone on the way to the restaurant to confirm our reservations. After eating, I used his phone again to get the movie times. I saw a name in the frequently sent, asked him innocently, ‘Who is Lisa?’
He snatched the phone and said ‘My coworker.’ Jump to 3 hours later and I’m throwing his clothes into his car after going online and viewing the hundreds of text sent to SEVERAL women, not just ‘Lisa.’
But still, I was a fool for love and opted to stay for a long time. I was with him my entire adult life so I didn’t know anything different. That was 2006.
We had our 19th anniversary this year and my divorce was final in March. He got married to ANOTHER one of his many affairs in June. I’m enjoying being unattached and becoming an empty nester as of this fall. Once we were apart, and on speaking terms, I could see how manipulative and narcissistic he was. Funny thing, he used to call ME manipulative. I truly couldn’t believe that I allowed myself and my kids to be subjected to that for so long. But I know better now!
A wise woman told me that you will see your spouse’s true identity after divorce and oh boy, she never lied! I never thought it would be this difficult work getting financial help for the kids. Kicking myself for not getting a lawyer and not including their college finances in the divorce decree. I’m taking on parent loans by myself.”
She’s Not Sure Of Her Next Move
“This all happened a month ago, and I don’t know if you could call this accidental. I played the role of a private detective, which I think was partially inspired by being 7 months pregnant at the time and a bit insecure.
Anyway, I was logged onto my husband’s Reddit account (which he never had a problem with), clicked on his inbox and looked through his messages. In doing so, I saw a 3-year-old Private Message to a girl asking her to message him on Kik, along with his username. I downloaded Kik, entered the username he gave the girl and tried the password he used for everything, and got in. There weren’t any messages in his Kik history, but there was an e-mail associated with the account I had never seen. I tried logging into that e-mail but the password didn’t work. However, he had set up security questions I knew the answers to, so I got in that way. In his inbox, I found messages back and forth to girls who gave ‘sensual massages.’
I told him I found his e-mail and I knew what he did, and he confessed that he had gone for a massage+happy ending three separate times in 2016 (we were married in 2013), but then he stopped going. This lined up with the dates on the e-mails, but it felt like my whole world was shattered. I asked why he felt the need to pursue activity outside of our relationship, and he couldn’t give me a good answer, but he told me he chose streetwalkers over an affair because he just wanted a release without anyone trying to blow up his life for it afterward.
He immediately agreed to therapy and we’re trying to see if we can work through things, and he’s been working hard to show me he’s remorseful and won’t hide anything from me again, but I feel like a naive moron. If I wasn’t pregnant with his child, I would have just wiped my hands of the whole thing. I told him I’d give this six months to see if I could still envision a life with him after what happened, and he was OK with that. I definitely don’t want to expose our child to a tumultuous marriage, but I have no doubt he’ll be a wonderful dad and that we could be effective co-parents.”
“I came home early from work, on Christmas Eve, mind you.
As I pulled into the parking lot, I had a weird thought of wanting to see if there were any cars I didn’t recognize. I decided it was a silly thought, so I parked my car and went inside. As I walked to the top of the stairs towards our bedroom, my husband immediately walks out and closes the door behind him.
I had to ask him twice if there was a girl in there and he finally said yes. He also made me stand in the kitchen so I couldn’t see who she was as she walked out. He was in the military so my guess was it could have been someone from base. It was rough for sure but I came out a much stronger person.
It took me three years before I could enjoy Christmas again.”
She Had A Sense
“My college boyfriend.
Our relationship had started to feel a bit strained and he asked if I could come over to talk. He lived nearby and as I was walking over, I thought to myself, ‘Whatever he wants to talk about, I can handle it, as long as he’s not cheating on me and isn’t breaking up with me.’
So I decided to just start off with that. In my mind, I was going to ask, ‘Did you cheat on me? Are we about to break up?’
He would say ‘Of course not,’ and then we’d go from there and we’d work whatever it was out.
I walked in and said, ‘Did you cheat on me?’ and his face immediately fell.
So, the conversation didn’t really go how either of us planned.
Now I’m married to a great guy and my ex-bf is single and posting sad things on social media. No regrets on ending that one.
Even at the time, I wasn’t that upset about it. Things had been rocky, as I said, so it was more like “oh, okay, I guess this is how this is going to end” instead of being shocked that it was ending. I was more upset to find out after the fact that most of my friends knew before I did (from the girl he cheated with) and no one said anything. I’m pretty laid back and I guess they thought I knew and had decided to stay with him. Nope!”
It’s Worse Than Yelling The Wrong Name…
“My boyfriend finally convinced me to have a threesome after months of begging. I finally agree and our mutual friend comes over.
Things get hot and heavy and when he starts doing her, he moans, ‘Wow, you feel even better than usual!’
Everyone freezes. He tries to tell me that he was thinking about me while boinking her and that it just felt different, but she felt so guilty that she confessed on the spot and begged me to forgive her.
We don’t really talk anymore but last I heard she has been dating my ex for over a year.”
She Should Have Held Out For Free Food
“He wasn’t my spouse, but he had proposed to me that morning. He said he had to go into work to cover a shift, but when he didn’t call me for his dinner break, as he usually did when he worked that shift, I got worried and called him.
Someone else picked up his phone, explained that the ‘guy whose phone this is, yeah, I think he went up to a room with his girlfriend, we have it down here waiting for him.’ They were at a hotel.
It turns out he used it as an excuse to sleep with another woman he knew from when they were in school together and had been seeing each other for a while. She was married.
The next morning, when he came to pick me up so we could get our parents to take them to brunch and announce the news, I refused to go with him. In hindsight, I should’ve waited until we were all at brunch and he had paid the bill to confront him for the free food, but I was young and dumb. Because I spent the next few days holed up crying, he got to control the narrative. I lost people who I thought were my friends because he made it my fault. If I had stood up publicly for myself, maybe I would’ve kept those friends, maybe his mom would’ve left my mom alone, maybe I wouldn’t have had to endure months of harassment by the other woman, or maybe nothing else would’ve changed, but I definitely would have had brunch.
We were together for almost 4 years, before, during, and after he went through the academy. A few months later, when he tried to get me back, I found out that the other woman was actually the seventh ‘other woman’…and he was still seeing her. He wanted ME to be the other woman now. I told him right where to go, but she found out about it and started a vicious harassment campaign against me, my job, my family. I filed a complaint, it turned into this whole thing. I got a new job, moved to a new city, just to get away from them. Haven’t heard a thing from him since the day I filed the complaint.
My mom saw him in the paper a few years ago, a heading up a special unit, but since this was so long ago, he’s pretty close to retirement eligibility now.
I long ago made my peace with it and wish him no ill-will and hope he can deal with his issues in a safe and healthy manner.”
Can’t Hide From The Kiddos
“I found out my ex-boyfriend (dated from age 15 to 18) had been cheating on me when, upon walking into the apartment he shared with his mother and two elementary-aged sisters, the youngest sister asked me, ‘When did you leave?’
I asked her, ‘When was I here?’
She responded, ‘You were here all night. I could hear you talking to [ex’s name].’ I had not been there for two days at that point.
I asked him what she was talking about and he stammered for a few minutes before confessing.
This Active Soldier Was Quite Busy
“This is about a friend of mine, in the early 2000s.
My friend’s husband was deployed to Iraq. Together, they had a 10-year-old son and a happy marriage.
One day, while he was deployed, I was at home when another one of our friends calls and screams, ‘Holy shoot, turn on the news right now!’ I turn it on to watch a human interest story about a fundraiser at a high school 30 miles away. They’re doing Relay for Life or something, and as a ‘surprise’ to one of the participants, they had her husband and father of her two-grade school children do a video call from Iraq and displayed it on the football jumbotron.
There, on our local news, was my friend’s husband, telling another woman and two kids how he loves them and can’t wait to get back home to them. The news eats it up and went on about what a great guy he is. That night, our group of friends convened and decided how we would tell her. I was nominated, so the next day I had to sit her down and tell her what we saw. She called the news station, and they were happy to let her come in and watch the story. They were also incredibly apologetic.
She called him out on his lying, they started divorce proceedings, and he went on to legally marry the mother of his other kids, and mostly ignored his son from the first marriage.”
He Was Living Two Lives
“My dad was born in the Philippines and would go once a year for two weeks or so for a golf tournament. I remember these two weeks every year would absolutely suck because I wasn’t as close with my mom back then.
When I was 10 and my parents were in the process of splitting up, I found these weird baby pictures and huge group family photos of a wedding on the family computer. I just sat there, not sure what to think. I showed my mom, we put two and two together and we just sat there hugging each other, crying for a solid hour.
It turns out he has had a family with 6 or 7 kids that were older AND younger than me, with the oldest being 8 years older than me. Me and my mom were his second family. The person he had that first family with? His first cousin.
He’s now married to that person and over the years, he’s used my mom’s credit to pay off his gambling debts, pay to bring his kids over to the States slowly and even had the nerve to use my mom’s savings to pay for his freaking wedding in the Philippines while they were still married.”
A Sister That Keeps Cheating
“I opened my sister’s door to ask for a hair tie and she was sleeping with my boyfriend. This was in high school but still. I spit on them, yelled why, and went downstairs to leave. My dad was in the living room on the computer and asked what’s wrong. I said, ‘Go upstairs and see for yourself!’ I ran outside and heard the yelling right away. My dad chased him out of the neighborhood, bare. My sister got shipped to my mom’s house shortly after that and got pregnant at 17 years old.
I asked why later and my boyfriend said he did it because she would ‘give it up’ and I wouldn’t. I was still ‘pure as the driven snow’ and she’d been active at 12. After that, I never spoke to him again, he’s actually a speed addict now.
My sister slept with another one of my boyfriends a year later. And another time, I found her making out with one on our front porch one day after grade 12 started.
Fast forward to me being fresh out of high school and had a full-time job that I loved. My sister was knocked up with baby number 2 and my dad made me quit my job, and move in with her to watch my one-year-old niece, so she could finish high school.
She does, then has the baby and is too lazy to raise either so I do for a year. I finally say enough. I didn’t want to leave my niece and nephew but I was a kid and wanting my own life and not to live in her apartment with her new boyfriend and two kids. I move back home and start new. My nephew’s father ends up getting custody (she didn’t try to fight and didn’t show up to three different court dates to try and win him back at all) so she takes my niece and splits up north to hide in our home town. By now, my niece is 3 and from then up until now (she turns 18 on the 9th), she has lived in four different provinces and Florida twice. My sister has run all over the country, going through probably around 100 men. She’s been engaged more times than I can count.
Back to me. When I moved back home, got my life back together and my own place about a year later, who comes knocking at the door? My sis and niece. ‘Can we stay for a bit?’
‘Of course, you’re my sister.’ She boinks my roommate and doesn’t take care of my niece. She’s getting high and what not.
My niece gets smashed in the head by one of the guy’s her mom was hanging around with, with a golf club. I take her for stitches and tell her to go back home and stay there. She does, thankfully.
Finally, my sister cleans herself up a bit and goes to college. Fast forward to me getting married and having my own two kids. She comes to visit with her fiance and my niece (she was now 6) and I catch sister trying to blow my husband. Goodbye for another two yrs! Eventually, I also say goodbye to the husband, too. That’s a whole other issue, the twerp.
Fast forward again and I’m with the guy I had my first kiss with at 13. I think of him as my soulmate but unbeknownst to me, he has a drinking problem. My sister takes advantage of that (she has admitted in the past when I’ve asked why she keeps doing this to me, that she can’t stand that I’ve always been successful and happy, so she tries to ruin it or take it away) and starts sending suggestive texts my boyfriend. They texted for a few days but he feels bad (I read them) and that was that.
He did cheat with other women but was also blackout wasted for the better part of two years. He quit drinking and has been sober since Dec 12, 2014. He’s a different man. Amazing man and father. My sister on the other hand, well, I finally had enough and at our little sister’s wedding, right at the end, I told her to never call me, message me or try to reach me. Forget I’m her sister because she’s never treated me as such. We haven’t spoken since then. That was 2013. She’s still the same.
My niece (her daughter) gets no attention from her and my mom has basically raised her. She comes to our house a lot, too. My sister is too busy worrying about this man or the next, too busy getting stoned and too busy with her own life.
She should never have been a mother.”
He Put It All On Film
“One day, my husband was getting ready for work and I saw him packing his GoPro case so he could take it to work. I thought, ‘Hmmm that’s weird, why would he be taking it to work?’ So, when he jumped into the shower, I replaced his GoPro with mine and thought I’d look through the files when he left for work.
My suspicions were on alert because he had just taken a trip with some friends. A guys-only weekend kind of thing. So, I fired up the camera and found three videos.
Lo and behold, there he is in all his glory barebacking a Filipino streetwalker. Looking and posing for the camera like he’s some adult film star. I was enraged but also…looking at this fool acting like he’s banging an adult film star was hilarious.”