Everyone wants to find 'the one,' but relationships can be challenging. Sometimes people think they found their perfect match but then they realize things might not be going as smoothly as they once thought. When love clouds someone's judgment, it often takes a lot for a forlorn lover to realize they'd been had by Cupid.
Here are the best Reddit stories of people's heartbreaking moment they realized their significant other was not the one. If only some of them had realized it sooner! Content has been edited for clarity.
She Saw Into The Future…And It Didn’t Look Good
“My wife of 13 years and the mother of my two children, seemingly out of the blue, claimed she had a ‘spiritual awakening.’ She said she can now see the future, communicate telepathically with animals, and can talk to angels. The angels told her to have an affair with another married man.
We’re divorced now. We tried to work it out. We saw two different marriage counselors in the year following the affair. She had another affair, divorced me, and used her newfound phychic powers to manipulate a judge to allow her to move over 3,000 miles away with my children.
I was doing everything I could to save the marriage for my kids. I was desperate! I researched and considered the possibility of a tumor, mania, or schizophrenia, etc. but she would get offended when I would suggest a doctor and refused to go. I reached out to her family and her mom flew out because she concerned. But my ex put on a show. She told her family I was abusing her, so they excommunicated me. She had me served with divorce papers, but wouldn’t leave. We cohabited for another three months after that. Those were the most painful three months of my life. My youngest at one point told me I’m ‘the saddest man in the world.’ It broke my heart to think my son thought of his father that way.
The day we told the kids, they both started crying. Then I started crying and they both jumped in my lap and we held each other bawling. I looked across at her, and nothing. She was just staring off in space, aloof. That would be the best way to describe her, aloof. Just removed, gone.
That was four years ago. I’m doing fine now. The only truly upsetting aspect is the whack custody situation but I’m trying to work on that.”
It Is NOT The Thought That Counts
“It was her birthday when I realized it but not when I actually broke up with her.
Whether it was Christmas, her birthday, or graduation, she always made Amazon Wishlists for gifts. Whenever people asked her what she wanted, she’d send them the Wishlist. It was convenient, but deviating from the Wishlist was frowned upon her. Even if you wanted to get her something from the heart or something you thought she’d like.
On her last birthday that we were together, her 25th, she had asked for a very specific bikini top and put it on her Wishlist. Her mom told her that she would get the bikini top about a month in advance. But, when the day came, her mom did not get the bikini top and ran to Victoria Secret to try and try and salvage the situation.
Yeah, it’s kinda annoying that her mom said she was going to do something and forgot, but it’s still a gift nonetheless. Not to mention, I think her mom was very depressed because she used to do things like spending hours in the dark watching TV on mute.
So on the day of her birthday, her mom walks into the house with Victoria Secret bags and my girlfriend begins to boil. She starts venting to me and her brother that her mom obviously did not order the correct top and forgot. We sympathized but said to cut her some slack and just be thankful for the ‘bad’ gift because it’s still a gift. I told her I would do the returning for her.
Then it’s time to go to dinner. We’ve just ordered and everyone starts passing their gifts to my girlfriend. She thanks everyone and references that they must have seen the gift on her Amazon Wishlist to spite her mom. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Lastly, her mom handed her the gift. She opened it, looked at blankly and put it bag in the bag. Her mom asked, ‘Aren’t you going to say thank you?’
At this point, she went full Real Housewives and exploded in the middle of the restaurant. After her rant, there was no way we could stay in the same room and make anyone else in the restaurant feel comfortable eating their food. She ranted the whole way home about what a massive inconvenience it was that she would have to return the item and how easy it is to order off of the Wishlist. We broke up two weeks later. This was sort of the red flag that sits on top of the tip of the iceberg of other issues that I began to notice.”
Black And Blue Flags
“When she deliberately got me and my friend, John, beat up. We went to a party she was attending, per her request. We got out of the Uber and 15-20 guys approached me and my friend, yelling the same question, ‘You like to hit girls, huh, huh!?’
I have never crossed that line and absolutely despise domestic abuse. But she intentionally told every guy there that I hit her regularly. I’m not sure what her motive was to this day. The guys proceeded to attack me and John before another buddy stepped in. He drove me and John to the hospital. A concussion and a swollen face later did I decide she wasn’t the one.”
Laughed In Amazement
“‘God, it’s been more than a week since your mother died. Aren’t you over it YET?’
Forget. You. Goodbye.
That wasn’t the only sign it was a toxic relationship, but it was definitely the straw that broke the relationship. She had done some terrible things before, and even in the week she so graciously gave me, her comfort was more in a ‘I’m doing this because it’s my girlfriend duty’ manner than actual caring. Bonus fun – a few weeks after I broke up with her she called me to tell me it’s OK she understood I just did it because I was ‘still messed up over your mom’s death’ and she forgave me and was willing to take me back. I was actually so shocked at how self-centered she was I just laughed in amazement and hung up.”
Pick Up Problem
“I just dumped my girlfriend over the weekend for this one. She went to Miami for a few days on a work trip. She asked me if I could pick her up when she arrived Saturday night at Newark Airport. I live in Brooklyn, so this was far from convenient for me, but I agreed.
She landed at 11 pm so I planned to arrive at 11:20. That would give her time for taxiing to the gate and getting her luggage. I account for tolls and traffic and nailed my arrival. I saw her waiting at the curbside pickup area and waved and pulled over.
She tossed her bags in the back, got in the passenger seat, and slammed the door. Then she put headphones in her ears and threw up her hoodie. I was like, ‘Uh…hi?’ She didn’t give me a hug or kiss, not an ‘I missed you’ or a ‘Thanks again for the ride’ or even a freaking hello. She said she wanted to listen to her podcast and I was like, ‘Fine, whatever,’ I turned on my car radio only to be met by a loud ‘UGH’ from my right.
I turned to her and ask what her issue is. She tells me the radio is affecting her ability to hear her podcast. That’s when I knew. Dumped her right there and then.”
He Tried To Trap Her
“He poked holes in rubbers trying to get me pregnant so I wouldn’t leave.
I only found out because his roommate suspected something. My ex kept saying things to him like, ‘What if she gets pregnant?’ and saying if I did, he’d have to move out and get a place with me to raise a kid. His roommate asked if we were being safe. I said yes and he told me I might want to take a test.
It’s really common for me to skip, so I hadn’t thought anything of it. Turns out, I was pregnant. The thing is, I’m very sick with chronic illnesses. In not knowing I was pregnant, I wasn’t able to get the medical help I needed for the baby to survive. I ended up miscarrying shortly after I found out. So while it’s kind of sad, it’s probably also a good thing that happened since I was only 20. He was 25 with a career and ‘ready to settle down’ even after I said I wasn’t. He was also abusive looking back, but I didn’t realize that until the whole debacle happened”
Trying To Shatter Her Dreams
“I have wanted to get a Ph.D. at a specific university in California since I was a child. I spent a few years working after college and a few more years working after my masters, but I never lost my dream of getting a Ph.D. at this school. I even talked about it during my first date with my future husband. I made it explicitly clear that at some point I would get my Ph.D. and I hoped it would be at this school, so he knew from the very beginning that this was my goal.
The day that I received my acceptance letter from my dream school, I went home and showed the letter to my husband. He immediately started sobbing and wailing, exclaiming that I was ruining his career and I was ruining ‘our life together’ and I was ruining our marriage. He spent hours going on and on about how terrible this was for him. He said he was going to hate California and he would never have a career and this was so terrible.
He didn’t congratulate me on the achievement of getting into a top-ranked school, fulfilling my lifelong dream of attending that school, and starting a Ph.D. program for another four days. When he did, it was couched in ‘even though this is going to mess up our lives and ruin my career, I’m glad you got what you wanted.’
I thought it was going to be okay. I thought he would come around. But he never stopped complaining about how terrible his life was and how it was all my fault. Once I started the Ph.D. program, he started to sabotage me. For example, he would start fights late at night so I wouldn’t get enough sleep, especially the nights before important meetings or tests.
It took me a while to realize it but his reaction to my acceptance letter was the moment when he made it clear that he was not the one. I don’t believe that there is a ‘one,’ but the day I received my acceptance into my dream school should have been one of the happiest of my life. Anyone who really knew and loved me would have reacted as such. He is now my ex-husband.”
“One evening I was having a particularly horrible asthma attack, I had just run out of all the breathing treatment so I was trying to just do some controlled breathing in hopes to make it pass.
My ex-fiancee asked me to leave the bedroom so she could sleep. I went into the bathroom and tried running the hot water in hopes the steam would open up my lungs. After it became very clear this wasn’t a typical asthma flare-up, I decided to call my mother and ask her to drive me to the hospital. Before leaving, I poked my head back into the bedroom and let my ex know I what I was doing. Her response was to not wake up her up when I got back. During the ride to the hospital, all I can remember thinking was that my ex was not a good person and I couldn’t believe I was trying to marry someone like that.”
A Health Nut Turned Into Just A Nut
“He stole my pain medication when I hurt my back. I was absolutely beside myself worried that I’d lost them and my toddler would find it before I did, so I ripped my house apart to no avail. I had to go back to the doctor to get more painkillers, which raised the suspicion that I’d already used them all. I found them at his house. I stopped by while he was at work to pick up my phone charger, his son let me in. There they were on the coffee table. with my name on the sticker on the box and everything. There was no indication whatsoever that he had a substance problem. In fact, he was a bit of a health nut so I still don’t understand why.
It wasn’t just about the pills. The pills are almost irrelevant. The fact that he saw me, near to tears, on my hands and knees while in pain trying to find them before my little boy did. I couldn’t forgive myself and I drove myself nuts. It was a huge relief when I found them but then a huge disappointment when I realized he must have taken them.”
“I got her a dozen roses for some occasion. She proceeded to call me about an hour later, asking what the meaning was behind me buying her eleven roses. I explained it must have been a mess up at the florist. She said, ‘That’s OK, the local town florist has single roses you can buy, so just go get one of those and bring it by to make an even dozen.’
I asked her how she realized it had eleven. She told me that she and her mother counted to make sure I had gotten enough.
At that moment, her whole family came into perspective for me. Her dad was a lawyer who had a ‘trophy wife’, just a little past her trophy years. He frequently went on surprise, overnight ‘business trips.’ Her 22-year-old sister was getting picked up from the police station at least weekly, which somehow never led to charges. Her mother, who was all but ignored by her father, would shower any guy brought home over the age of 15 with affection. The significant other in question had ‘jokingly’ told me of her plan to go to college, find a rich guy, and marry him. Thank god I got 11 roses once.”
She Didn’t Support Him During His Most Trying Time
“I had stage 3 cancer. One day my significant other says to me, ‘I am a happy person. And right now, with all your health issues, I am not happy. I deserve to be happy.’ We broke up that day.
Ironically, we work together and she left her instant message password saved on my computer. I am not proud of it, but I snooped. She was telling people stuff like, ‘I am really worried about this being a long-term problem. What if this takes years to resolve? I want to have kids soon.’ Needless to say, I will never be the same. She was everything to me. Three years down the drain”
The Boyfriend And The Best Friend
“This was right after high school, 10 years ago. I was working full time at an office and part time at a restaurant. I got my boyfriend and best friend jobs at the restaurant. The boyfriend was a few years older. Neither of them had a car, so I would drive them places or let them borrow my car when necessary.
I got really sick. I had a high fever and hurt so bad I could barely move. They were both working and had my car that night. They started texting me about how they were drinking at work and got the new dishwasher to drink. I told them I didn’t want them driving my car after they’d been drinking and asked if one of them would stop so they could drive after the shift.
At this point, the plan was my boyfriend would come over after work to check on me because I was so sick. But, he told me he decided he was going to a party with my friend instead. I get ahold of another friend and asked for a ride to the restaurant. I’m dropped off, I go in – my lanyard is hanging out of the boyfriend’s pocket so I grab it and walk out. He barely even noticed I was there. His face was red, his eyes were bloodshot, he was pretty obviously wasted. I go home and start getting crazy texts in all caps telling me I better bring the car back because their drinks were in the back.
I just wanted to lay down and sleep. I was so upset and anxious. I decided to drive back and give them what they want. There was a duffle bag in my trunk I half tossed/slid inside without going in. I leave and my boss told me to go to her house for the night to get some rest. By the time I get to her house, I have voicemails from the boyfriend slurring pretty bad calling me horrible names and telling me that one of his bottles broke so I need to pay him for a new bottle and wash the jeans it spilled on.
The ‘best friend’ was also texting me and calling me names. It was surreal, I couldn’t believe the 2 people in the world I trusted and cared about the most were doing this to me. I knew then I was done with both of them. I found out the next day they hooked up at the party they went to. I threw up when I found out.”
“We were together for six years when I got the call from my grandmother asking me to move a state over, to a beach town no less, to help out at home and take care of my grandfather who was slowly been losing himself to Parkinson’s. While I was getting up early to cook breakfast and help change him, she would be upstairs all day watching Netflix and complaining about being bored like she was forced to stay there all day.
Regardless of how many times I told her she could go out to the mall, or take a vacation, or go to the beach, or get a job, her boredom was somehow my fault. This was exasperated when my grandmother broke her knee one night. I was now essentially taking care of two children that were over three times my age. About a year and a half passed before she gave me the ultimatum: she was leaving and if I didn’t go with her, it was over. I thought about this incredibly hard, she was my high school sweetheart and the only girl I’ve ever really had a meaningful relationship with. In this time, she had already moved back into her parent’s house. One day, I called her to let her know that it just wasn’t going to work out. If I left my family high and dry like that I could never live with myself and broke it off. “
Urgent Care Double Standard
“I took him to Urgent Care one night about midnight. He had bronchitis. We didn’t get home till 2 am. I got up a few hours later and went to work. He was a baby for a week but made a swift recovery.
Two weeks later, I was running a fever and miserable. He wouldn’t take me to Urgent Care. He had classes that day and said he didn’t want to leave campus, drive to our apartment, pick me up, take me to the hospital, take me home and drive back to campus for his next class later that afternoon. The round trip was maybe five miles. I could barely walk a straight line. When I finally get to the doctor, I had a double ear infection, strep throat, and walking pneumonia. It took me two months to fully recover. Idiot.”
Her Cousin, Really?
“I was in an abusive relationship for five years. I think I knew he wasn’t my forever six months into it because he thought it was appropriate to ‘threaten’ me into studying like he was my parent when my grades were perfectly fine. But I didn’t break up with him then because of complicated stuff.
The moment I knew I had to break up with him soon, my real final straw, was when he messaged me after my FATHER’S WEDDING to yell at me for adding my COUSIN on Facebook. I’d met him at the reception, we’re both hockey fans, we’re literally family, so we became Facebook friends. Apparently, that meant I was going to cheat on him with my own cousin.
There was also that time he came to visit me and didn’t change his clothes at all over three days. He slept in his jeans. That was just weird. I couldn’t think about him the same after that.”
A Bunch Of Ridiculous Behavior
“The day I graduated from college, she was supposed to be there for the ceremony with my family. She bailed and ended up sitting on a bench behind the library. My family wanted to take us out for dinner, she cried that she had already made plans for us to go out with another friend’s family. I was thinking ‘what?! she didn’t tell me this’ but I bailed on my family being the loving and caring person I am to be with her.
Six months later, she had her graduation party, which was an incredibly small event that wasn’t going to last long. I had two buddies who just got back from their tour in Iraq. I asked if, afterward, we could visit them. She proceeded to flip out and ended up locking herself in her room and didn’t even attend the party and bad-mouthed me to her family.
Her uncle is a mechanic but a shady one. He would charge her several thousand dollars every time she brought her car to him. I’ve been turning wrenches on my own cars since before I could drive, I told her she was paying way too much and that my father and I could do all the work for a fraction of the price. So I buy new tires, timing belt, head gaskets, plugs and wires, and some other parts. My dad and I fix everything on the car for $700, which I paid for. She gave me trouble for not spending time with her while I fixed her car.
She was having dinner with my family after I had gotten back from a trip to visit my best friend who was about halfway through his time as a Marine. We spent most of the days on the beach, some golfing, site-seeing, and, of course, we hit the bars at night. She proceeded to pick a fight with everyone because she claimed we just drank the entire time. After my father pointed out all the other things we did and said, ‘it’s their choice to do what they want on vacation’, she flipped, slammed her chair, stormed off, and drove away. Only to call me bawling her eyes out 5 minutes later.
At a party, where many friends from our college came far and wide to attend, I introduced her to my friend’s wife who happens to be in the same field as me. I hadn’t seen many of these people since college ended 3-5 years ago. Since we were both designated drivers, we were catching up and nerding out about our careers. Suddenly, my girlfriend walks up to us and makes some incredibly rude comment like, ‘Who’s this girl?’ is to both our faces. I then explained she is my friend’s wife. We had to leave shortly after that.
On the plus side though, I am about to get married to a phenomenal women and my life is infinitely better without my ex.”
“We were together for seven years. He didn’t plan anything for my birthday. Then, when my best friend got everyone together for dinner at a nice restaurant, he became irritated with the service and literally put his head down on the table.
Also, he was rude to my baby nephew during dinner. Then, he refused to go out for drinks to the bar I wanted to go to after dinner because he didn’t like the bar.
So all my friends left except for my best friend and her husband. We went and had drinks at the bar I wanted to go to after my boyfriend went home.
I guess it all sounds kinda petty typed out but this night was the night. I wasn’t even mad or sad. I was disappointed and realized I didn’t deserve this sort of treatment anymore. It was the last thing in a long pattern of narcissism that made me realize if I stayed with him, I’d end up having to sacrifice little things like my birthday for the rest of my life. Not worth it.
I’m not hard to please. But I do expect a little something on my birthday. Anything! It doesn’t even have to be a nice dinner. ‘Happy birthday’ would even be cool and I didn’t even get that from him.
So, I literally just stopped talking to him shortly after this and everything has been incredible ever since. My last birthday with my new boyfriend was nothing short of perfect. I even got a gift!”
Every Lifetime Movie In One
“He lied about serving in the military. Any time he had been talking about his deployment he was actually using his dad’s Vietnam stories and just changed names and locations.
That was enough for me to call off the wedding. Then, I found out he cheated on me for pretty much the entire length of our relationship with another woman who was lead to believe she was his only one. Even slept with her the weekend he proposed to me.
So then I was throwing all his stuff in boxes and into his car with the help of my roommate. She started recognizing things that didn’t belong to my ex. Like my roommate’s silver watch and their mutual friend’s expensive tools. We gathered everything up that wasn’t his, which totaled over $2,500 of stolen property from his friends and called the cops.
Then, after he was behind bars, two minors came forward and claimed he assaulted them. One was the daughter of one of his friends he had stolen from. There are now open investigations into those allegations.
So my 2016 was basically every Lifetime movie plot you could think of rolled into one.”
A Lack Of Morals
“When I was 18, I was a head-over-heels idiot for this guy I was at school with. We decided to apply for the same university because we just KNEW we’d be together forever. One day we were in a café. This sweet old guy shuffled up to the counter to order, near where we were seated. As he was ordering, a £10 note fell out of his wallet and onto the ground. My boyfriend noticed this and nudged me.
As I was nearer to him, I jumped up and gave it back, the old man was very grateful. As I sat back down, my boyfriend stared at me, incredulous, and just said, ‘Why didn’t you keep it!?’ And at that moment, I realized we were never going to make it. Six months later, I left him and it was an utter disaster.”
He Tried To Shake Her Confidence
“I had lost about 150 pounds and had some loose skin, as is to be expected. I was standing in front of the mirror looking at myself when I was about to shower when he walked in.
The first thing he said was, ‘Gross!’ He walked behind me and we were both looking at me the mirror when he took the loose skin in his hands and said, ‘I thought it was hard to be with you before, how am I ever going to find you attractive now? How will ANYONE find you attractive with this?’
I said nothing. But, the feeling of completely losing all your love for someone in one moment is a powerful one.
Even before then, there were red flags. He tried to sabotage my weight loss by only buying junk or fast food, knowing full well I wouldn’t be able to get any other type of food for a meal. I think he cheated on me over 50 or so times? It was partially long distance, so imagine my surprise when I took a 5-hour bus trip with him and saw a text from a girl thanking him for watching Lord of the Rings with her and all the kisses, etc they shared while I was on my freaking way to see him. The only reason I saw it was because he asked me to navigate the GPS.
He also had this girl ‘friend’ who sent me hateful messages about me being too fat for him to love or something and would only apologize because he threatened to never talk to her again. Before losing weight, he told me he’d always love me but would never be in love with me unless I looked like Megan Fox or someone similar, in which case he would ‘worship’ me. He once told me that two of the girls he cheated with were ‘way hotter but look, I’m with you instead.’ Worst five years of my life.”
Heck Of A Story
“She used her car as a ladder to break into my second floor apartment through the window, looked at all my emails and instant message history, broke a bunch of stuff and waited for me while crying to tell me she was pregnant.
After the break-in, she actually convinced me to stay with her for a while because I thought the pregnancy was true.
After a week I figured out it was a lie, but she kept going swearing it wasn’t. This lasted about two months, I figured it would be easier to ride it out than to cause a massive scene. Once it was very apparent she was not pregnant, she had a bit of a breakdown and said she went behind my back to get an abortion and tried to get me to stay with her by making me feel guilty.
After that didn’t work, a week later she told me that the abortion didn’t work, and there was actually two babies not one (twins) and if I didn’t get back together with her she’d go back again and it would be all my fault. She called my mom and my best friends to tell them what a piece of garbage I was for not supporting her and making her do this, while the ENTIRE time I was asking if I could come to the doctor visits with her, drive her to appointments, I was commuting from the city I went to school in to see her almost every day, but she would never agree to any of the things I wanted to do that would catch her in the lie – which would all be very normal things for couples to do together going through a pregnancy.”
He Ruined Her Career
“I was engaged to a guy and we had just moved into our own home. A few months later, he was supposed to pick me up from work and he met me near the back where I clocked out. As we walked out the door we were grabbed and led into a room. Turns out he had shoplifted and since I was walking with him, they assumed that I was in on it. I was arrested and spent a night in jail and I was fired from my job.
While I was fighting the legal issues, I couldn’t get another job since I had a pending theft charge, so I lost the house that I had just fully furnished. It kind of worked out though because I ended up moving across the country where I graduated from college with honors and started my music career.”