They say blood is thicker than water, but that's not the case for these mother and daughter in laws. In fact, most would be thrilled to never lay eyes on one another again. Why the animosity? Where to start! From clingy mothers who hold their son to such high accord to trashy wives playing their SOs every chance they get - the reasons are wide and oh-so drama-filled! So read on to discover why family reunions are quite the dreaded event for these unlucky souls. Content has been edited for clarity.
“My Son Married A Psychopath”
“My son married a psychopath. First, she told him she was pregnant. Then she said she was having twins. A little while later, she said she lost the babies. Then she said one miraculously survived but when she got her period she determined that it had died too. As soon as her period was over, she told him she was pregnant again and she lost those babies too. She refused to take a pregnancy test and never once went to see a doctor much less an OB-GYN although I offered to pay for it. Pretty sure the goof was never once pregnant.
Son caught her cheating with her ex-boyfriend and she claimed that her ex was assaulting her. Son called the police. The ex told the police that she’d traded intimate favors for a cellphone. Then she accused my son of domestic violence. Cops didn’t arrest him, though. They took her to a psychiatric hospital.
Needless to say I was happy when they divorced. But I keep a restraining order against her just to make sure she never shows back up on my doorstep.”
If You Don’t Like Fruit Pies, I Don’t Like You
“My mother-in-law pretends to like me, but I know if I broke up with her son she would be more than overjoyed.
Over the past 10 years she has said and done things that show her true colors.
For example, I don’t like fruit pies…big whoop. This became a big deal to her. When we first started dating she told my SO ‘she’s not like us’ when he questioned her about it she told him it was because I don’t like pie. He basically rolled his eyes at her. Yah, so for EVERY birthday for 6 years she’d bake me an apple pie. I’d politely choke down a piece, and she would stand smiling her face off and then say ‘oh! right you don’t like pie. You shouldn’t feel like you need to eat that for my benefit.’
My saving grace is I’m a clean eater now (over 60 lbs down). I had major intestinal issues and like an idiot ate processed unhealthy crap and was very sick (and fat) for years. Now I don’t eat sugar, meat, flour, etc. This has also created its own issue. I’m very appreciative when we are invited for a meal….even though I now have to bring my own food. She will not stop putting marshmallows on the sweet potato, sugar in the peas, bacon fat in her salad dressing, heaps of butter and sour cream in the potatoes, and then complains to me she can’t seem to get to the same weight as me. She’s got 30+ years on me and every time she sees me she asks my current weight, and when I tell her I don’t know she’ll pout and grumble under her breath about it.
I work out every day and I basically eat vegetables. This is not easy, and it’s also not for everyone. I don’t judge anyone for their weight-that’s your thing to deal with. I have plenty of my own baggage I’m lugging around. She’s actually grabbed my hips and jiggled me like a side a beef trying to guess. I feel bad that somehow I make her feel that she needs to compete with me and our relationship has more negative than positive.
Don’t get me wrong, I really do love and appreciate her and what she has done for us. I just feel that she’s made zero attempt to get to know me (she basically knows where I work and where I live) but has never asked me about my life..ever. I don’t have a mom anymore and I would really like to be accepted by her, just like my own mom did with her son.”
“I Never Approved Of The Marriage”
“I didn’t approve of my son’s marriage from the beginning even though he is a grown man and of course can do whatever he wants. My son married a woman much older than himself, much older than me even. He is 43 now and she is 70. I knew he didn’t marry her for love and only married her for what she had and this alone made me mad. My son brought her to my house to meet me and I was pleasant to her, she was pleasant to me and to my mother who was very ill at the time. However she really didn’t talk much so it made for an awkward time.
They only spent the night then left. My son continued living with me and his wife continued living in another city for quite a long time. Every time my son would go to stay with his wife he came home complaining about her. I never heard anything good. And believe me, I tried to get him out but he wouldn’t leave. The law in my state is that ifyou receive mail at a residence you can live there as long as you want until someone evicts you. My son owns several houses and condos that he could have easily moved into but he refused. His excuse was that his houses were being remodeled. Bull. To make matters much worse for me, I was taking care of my very sick mother and I was very stressed out because of it. My son didn’t care one bit about that however. He would stay up all night long and sleep all day making things very difficult for me. His big barking dog also lived here and my son didn’t take care of her. The last straw was when my son tried moving his mistress into the house. I told my son if she didn’t leave I would have her trespassed. She left. Drama with his wife continued
They get into a big argument while my son was staying with her and he comes back home again, complaining about her. He told me she wanted to come to my house to see him and he told her not to come. She did anyway. As I stated, my very ill mother was here and my son’s wife comes here uninvited. She pulls up on the sidewalk for some weird reason and comes to the door. My son refused to go outside and he told me not to open the door so I didn’t. His wife continues ringing the doorbell making the dogs go insane then she starts knocking and tries to look in through my windows. My son calls the police and the next thing I know, his wife is in handcuffs. My son goes outside to talk to the officers and he had his wife trespassed. I had to sign it. It was ridiculous. They are still together after all this.
In between all of this going on, my son threatened to kill me and on another occasion he challenged me to a fist fight. He had a weapon too. The police were called and I was told by an officer that the only thing I could do was have my son evicted which is expensive and it takes months or I could get a restraining order against him and this is what I did.
I’m glad I only have one son.”
I Don’t Know What Is Worse
“My husband deployed last year. His mother went slightly insane because her husband had gone to Vietnam and left her when they were both very young. She kept pretending that her son (my husband) was her husband. She even went as far as to say that to my husband. She didn’t believe him that he really wasn’t going to a combat zone and that there was little or no chance he would be in that much danger.
The week before he left, she decided to throw him a shindig. She wanted him to dress up in his dress uniform and wanted him to be paraded around all of her friends. She didn’t bother to tell me about it, and I couldn’t take off, so she monopolized the last weekend and pretty much the entire last week before he left.
After he left, she began calling me–just like she did in basic. ‘He called me, did he call you? (hehehe)’ was the very first thing out of mouth on the first message. During basic training she made into a competition to see who got more attention. For the deployment, I couldn’t handle that. I just decided to block her number.
While he was gone, we communicated through Facebook messenger. It was the least expensive and easiest way. His mom refused to use it because it was of the devil or something. About half way through, to get back at my husband for not calling her enough, she decided to write him a letter blaming him for absolutely everything that had gone wrong with her life since she had him. This came at a very bad time, because he was getting depressed. She let him know that he was the reason that her life was awful and that the only thing she felt guilty about was giving him an exorcism when he was 11. She is a very sick woman. It killed my husband. He was having a hard time of it anyway, and this just made it harder.
After the deployment, she decided she was going to have another shindig and parade now that my husband was around again. Although my husband wanted to see them, he didn’t want to be paraded around, so at first he said he would go, but in a very mature move on his part, he let his parents know that he wasn’t coming. He let them know that he couldn’t handle being around other people quite yet.
They decided that they were going to come see him if he wouldn’t see them. They showed up pretty much unannounced at or doorstep. I had to work. We went to breakfast. After breakfast they came back to our house, I went to work, and in the four hour period that I was gone, proceeded to destroy whatever glimmer of relationship they had with their son.
I walked in the door, and his mom kind of giggled explaining that they were having a ‘therapy’ session. My husband just got up and said that he had had enough and he was going to play video games. I sat there, with his parents, for two uncomfortable hours trying to think of things to talk about. They finally left and my husband told me what they had talked about.
Basically, his parents let him know that he was the cause of all their problems. They loved him, but if it wasn’t for him, their lives would have been much better. They beat him, but only because he made them. That he hadn’t been such a head strong child at 2, they might have been able to do a better job. The list goes on and on.
That was almost a year ago. His mom calls, but only to let him know again, what a horrible child he was, so he doesn’t talk to them.”
20 Years Too Long
“My mother in law never liked me much. She didn’t hate me, but I am pretty sure she thought her son was better than me. Plus, to her, if you aren’t blood, you aren’t family. She had pictures all over her house of her other kids, of my kids, of my husband, but not one single picture of me. I was just a vessel to give her grandchildren. When my first child was born, she never even came into my hospital room to say hello. Just wanted to see the baby. Don’t know why I was so stupid, why I kept trying to get her to like me. She just did not care.
I spent 20 years trying to get her to like me, and then suddenly I just didn’t care anymore. I was pleasant, helped out when needed but just did not care. Made everything much easier. The thing I’m proudest of is that my kids have no idea. She’s dead now and I have never said a bad word about her to them. They loved her. But at her funeral I was told by my husband’s brother to go in with the rest of the people, that this part was just for family. I ignored him and stayed with the family. He didn’t say it to be mean, but it just illustrated once again, the whole mentality.”
“She Didn’t Wish Me A Happy Mother’s Day”
“My husband and sister-in-law have been overweight/obese since they were kids. His mother has been a size 6 her entire adult life. She has always used food to replace affection and shame them. There have been times we visited, when she immediately lectured my husband about his weight in regard to their family history of diabetes, then proceeded to push fried food and sweets on him the rest of the visit.
Last year, tired of struggling to lose weight, my husband decided to get bariatric surgery. Mother-in-law made this big show of how she was going to visit and ‘take care of him’ after the surgery. Cool. A week before the surgery, we go to see a comedian near her city, two hours away, and come right home, because my husband is on a pre-op liquid diet, tired, and not up for socializing.
The day before his surgery, she calls him and tells him she’s upset he came to town without seeing her. He calmly explains why we didn’t visit. She then throws in that she’s also upset we didn’t see her for Easter, a month prior, to which my husband points out she wasn’t even in town for Easter.
He goes for surgery and I keep her updated, everything goes well. That Friday, when she’s supposed to visit, she tells him she’s in the ER with strep throat and sends a pic of a hospital admission bracelet with no date on it. He calls but she doesn’t answer. That Sunday, she sends him a pic of her painting her house.
The next week is Mother’s Day, which is a tough day for me because I’m estranged from my own mother and deal with infertility. He calls her to wish her a good day, and she says she’s upset I didn’t call or text her. She actually says, ‘I know she doesn’t talk to her mom, but she can wish ME a happy mother’s day!’
During this entire time, she stops ‘liking’ our pics on Instagram. She starts texting my husband pics of weight loss surgery patients with loose skin, saying that’s what he’ll look like. My husband is losing weight and posting sweaty progress selfies from the gym on Instagram. She texts him, ‘Do me a favor and stop posting those ugly pictures of yourself.’ My husband stands up for himself, ‘I’m sorry you don’t like the pics, but my wife, my friends, and I are proud of my progress and how far I’ve come.’
The next week, she calls him and said she’s been in a bad mood for the last month because she had a cancer scare. She supposedly had a cancer scare because a psychic told her she was going to get cancer. My husband knew it was all a lie, but he forgave her, saying, ‘She’ll never apologize to me. She thinks this lame excuse is an apology.’
I never felt strongly either way about mother-in-law before these events, but I emphatically dislike her now. I believe she was triggered by my husband’s choice to improve his life through bariatric surgery, because he was taking away a means for which she was able to control him and make him feel terribly about himself. We are still in contact, but moved over 1000 miles away from her last year for unrelatedly reasons.”
“Mom Can We Keep It?”
“One weekend my daughter stayed at my mother-in-law’s for an overnight. She bought my daughter a rabbit without our permission or even telling us. We show up to pick up our kiddo and there is a giant rabbit cage with a dwarf bunny. She bought the bedding and food, so we couldn’t turn it away saying we didn’t have supplies. To make matter worse we already have 2 dogs and very little room for a rabbit cage.
But, my kid was ecstatic.
My husband is allergic.
My mother-in-law knows this.
She’s the worst.”
“Clearly A Horrible Person”
“My grandmother hated my mother because my father was married once before and ‘it doesn’t count the second time.’ Basically, she preferred his ex to my mom, because divorce. I’m not making assumptions based on her behavior or things my mother said, she actually said that to me in those exact words many times as she gave my half siblings gifts but not me (grandpa snuck me gifts behind her back, though, because he wasn’t an awful person). She was clearly a horrible person, not just an average mother-in-law who just dislikes her daughter-in-law. Thank god for my grandpa. He always believed that people were doing their best. This meant that he truly believed that his wife was trying to accept us but was just unable to, but it also meant that he loved and accepted my mother with his entire heart. I’m sure someone could read this and wonder why he didn’t keep grandma in line, leave her, or whatever, but he genuinely thought she was doing her best. It just wasn’t in him to accept the possibility that the mother of his children, his love of 50 years, by all accounts a terrific grandmother to their other 20some odd grandchildren, was being malicious on purpose, so he did his best to make up for her shortcomings.
My parents did as much as they could to shelter me from it, but my mom suffered her treatment for 20 years before the universe finally saw fit to take grandma down. As an adult, after our father died, I had to explain to my oldest (half) brother why my father limited contact with his ‘awesome grandma’ who was ‘the nicest woman’ (she bought him a car) during holidays and why it wasn’t just my mother being a gargantuan witch who can’t get along with anyone. It was during one of those nostalgia circles people do when someone dies, with all of my siblings, where everyone was sharing memories about my dad, and he just blurted out ‘You know what I never understood? Why dad never took us around grandma except for holidays…’ and about how great she was. I told him all of the terrible stuff grandma used to do and say to me, and he just turned, mouth agape, to my other half siblings, who were sitting there nodding. They knew what was up, he just honestly never realized. He’s a sweet man, he’s just unobservant and always thinks people try their best to be good.”
“And That Is Just Tip Of The Iceberg”
“Oh where to start? In laws sent a card saying they couldn’t come to our wedding then did come two hours early.
Accepted our invitation for dinner at our new house. I spent the night before prepping and baking so things could be ready when they arrived. Got home from work, going over scheduling food in my mind, and find them leaving – just pulled out of the driveway as I pulled in (husband worked at home).
Went to celebrate Christmas at their house. Spent a fortune on a beautiful hand embroidered dressing gown for her. Her only comment was ‘do you think I’m going to hospital?.’ She handed out gifts to the family, all except me. As we were leaving she shoves a gift at me ‘oh here’s yours.’
After the birth of their first grandchild I had complications and was very weak. My husband was concerned and solicitous, naturally so. They came to see grandchild and were told of the complications. Her response ‘well I had a heart attack yesterday.’
Said they were coming to see the next new grandchild and would enjoy staying for brunch. I cooked and baked. She showed up four hours late. She’s been caught up in watching the news.
She came to stay after surgery when she was ‘dying.’ I re-painted and decorated what had been my office for her so she wouldn’t have to use stairs. Not one word of thanks. I waited on her hand and foot for six weeks. It’s been twenty years and she’s still alive.
At her husband’s funeral, she came up to me and said ‘everyone keeps telling me how good I look.’
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
She Tells My Husband Everything
“My mother-in-law hates me. She’ll talk behind my back but try and be nice as pie to my face. How do I know this? Because it’s my husband she talks to.
According to her, even though we all started out living in the same area, but because they bought their own home, I’m not the right ‘class’. Because I’m 7 years older than my husband, I’ve obviously brainwashed him into abandoning her. Because I don’t make a ton of money, I’m a gold-digging hussy who only wants him for his money (despite him being depressed, jobless and suicidal when I met him) and because I have tattoos, I’ve obviously got massive issues.
She told him that he should move back home with them and as a reward, he could still be in a relationship with me. He told her that if she made him choose, she’d lose. She’s been coldly civil to me ever since.”
“My daughter-in-law was a cheating addict who strung my son along through a whole pregnancy full of lies. The baby came out a few too many shades off to pass as my son’s child. She even tried to take my son to court for child support, until her lawyer laid eyes on my son and told her to forget it.
She stole and pawned a lot of my son’s belongings along the way too. She never got clean, never got help, and has done this whole thing to yet another man since.”
“Didn’t Lift A Finger To Help”
“My in-laws arrived 4 days postpartum after I had an unplanned c-section. Luckily they weren’t staying with us but they were over ALL THE TIME. Didn’t lift one finger to help out in any way, and she would sit there and nitpick everything I was doing, argued with me about everything I was doing differently than she did, and bragged about how easy her c-section recovery was. They were here for three miserable weeks, in that time my incision got infected and burst so I was oozing blood and fluid. She continued to do nothing to help, continued to criticize and argue with me. No sympathy either, because she had twins so I had no idea how lucky I had it. To make matters worse, my husband got mad at ME for getting upset about it. Once I was no longer in the newborn and pain fog I made his life a living nightmare for putting me through that. He’s since apologized and has promised never do that again, but is also so used to her horrible-ness that he also doesn’t recognize it at times. He’s doing a much better job, and though I can tell he thinks I’m being a bit unreasonable about my after birth boundaries, he’s supporting me 100%. Which is good since her behavior since then has not improved either.
I’m pregnant again and I had initially said they weren’t allowed to come for a month. Well then my sister-in-law gets pregnant only three weeks behind me…with triplets. So she’s going to have a hard pregnancy and end up with preemies, so of course she wants her mother around. Which means that horrible woman will be around again (they live close) when I’m so vulnerable postpartum AGAIN. I’m hoping they’ll all be busy with the triplets, but if the triplets are in the NICU, she might be bored and want to come hand hangout with me. NO. I’m putting my foot down, I don’t care if they all think I’m being an unreasonable jerk, I’m not letting that woman around me until I say so.”
Spare Set Of Keys
“My mother-in-law believes firmly that houses should stay unlocked so family can walk in and out uninvited as they please. My SO and I do not adhere to this so our doors are always locked so my mother-in-law’s reaction was to take my SO’s keys and make copies so she could come and go as she pleased.
She was not happy when we changed the locks.”
Is What It Is
“My mother hates my wife of 9 years and always has. My wife is half Hispanic, had a son from a previous marriage, had a father who was an ex-con and feels that my wife was taking me from her. I’m the only child who lived near them. She would go as far as to invite me and my wife’s daughter to do things and not my wife and stepson. My father wasn’t much better either. It’s just sad that they think don’t think that they are the problem. Both my parents have always be like that though. You can never convince either one that they are wrong about anything. According to them, everyone else is always the one who has something wrong with them. They’re also the kind of people who always find something wrong with other people and will talk down on people when they’re not around, yet be nice to their face. They even do this with my siblings. Needless to say that I had to cut ties with my parents. I’m also much happier since then.”
A Mother’s Perspective
“For me, I don’t like my other son’s new wife because she’s a lazy, horrid woman to put it bluntly. They’re both 26 now and she doesn’t lift a finger to help do any housework, laundry etc. She seems to expect him to do everything for her and it feels like he’s a doormat to me in that respect even though he probably doesn’t see it that way. You can go into their house and there’ll be piles of dirty dishes just lying around unwashed and its disgusting. Relationships should mean shared responsibility but she doesn’t do her part. On top of that its like she treats our home like hers and just makes herself at home around our pool and hot tub, she uses them more than we do and we live here. The only good thing I have to say is she doesn’t seem to be after him for money and she builds up more savings than he does despite earning 4x more. Honestly I just wish she would do more to help out, even just offering would be nice even if we don’t need it but as long as they’re happy I keep out of it.”