Getting revenge on your bully is something almost everyone fantasizes about. How satisfying would it be to say or do something that would stop the bully in their tracks and put an end to all the annoying torment? Well, these stories feature people who actually made their fantasies a reality. Sometimes the revenge was instant karma, sometimes it was years in the making, but it was ALWAYS satisfying. It's nice to see these mean people get what they deserved.
Desk Meets Face
“Back in middle school, two of my friends, John and Martin, had a social studies class together. John had pretty low self-esteem, hated school and was depressed often. Martin was already a 6 foot tall behemoth who was essentially a doppelgänger for Arnold Schwarzenegger (his dad had him start lifting weights in 6th grade. He is now well known in strongman competitions).
This obnoxious kid named Sean was sitting next to John and Martin during class and was repeatedly picking on Martin by mocking this red sweatshirt he used to wear all the time. Martin just quietly took the bullying for a few weeks until finally one day, Sean started making fun of him and Martin just stood up in the middle of class, slammed his hands on the 8′ x 3′ table and screamed, ‘THAT’S IT!!!!’
He picked up the enormous rectangular table, hoisted it up, swung it and hit Sean directly in the face, breaking Sean’s glasses and causing blood to go spurting out of his nose and all over himself.
Our social studies teacher looked over at them, dumbfounded, and after a few seconds of what I assume was disbelief, simply said ‘Uhh..maybe you two should sit apart from each other…’ and continued on to class after sending Sean to the bathroom to clean himself up.
Sean gets moved a seat over and is now next to John with Martin a couple seats over. Now, Sean is an idiot and didn’t know that Martin and John were best friends. So, a week later, Sean begins bullying John instead, with the typical sort of ‘Why are you so quiet, stupid?’ ‘How come you never say anything, are you an idiot?’ etc.
Sean then says this line: ‘You don’t even have any friends, do you?’
Martin, who has been listening the entire time to them stands up, looks Sean directly in the eye and says with the most intimidating voice a 7th grader can possibly muster, ‘HE’S GOT ME.’
He picks up the table again and starts to hold it up. Sean realizes what’s about to happen again, screams like the little wimp he was, and runs out of the room with Martin chasing him with the table.
Still one of the most legendary stories of Martin we have. He got to hit a guy in the face with a table almost twice and never got in trouble for it. Miss that guy tons.”
A Crappy End To A Crappy Joke
“At my high school, kids loved to embarrass other kids taking dumps, so they would kick open the stall door and laugh at them. My junior year, some kids a year below me did it to some nerdy kid, probably thinking he would not do anything back. Until he came into the lunch room with his poop on a paper towel and slapped the kid who kicked the door open in the face with it. That was pretty much the end of that joke.”
They Got What They Deserved
“I was on a school music tour and this kid who bullied me in class decided to throw stuff at me on the bus. I kept all the stuff and waited for him to get off the bus and threw it back at him.
Bear in mind, I had avoided confrontation for 2 years, so I finally cracked. He punched me in the arm, I punched him in the chest hard as I could and I saw tears well up in his eyes as he staggered off.
But that’s not the end. None of the teachers saw this fight so it continued. Myself and three friends were in our room before dinner and this kid and his mates decide to raid our room. They nick a few packets of candy, etc. then run out.
My friends and I barricaded the door and then went out via the balcony and got a teacher. The bully and his mates were caught trying to bash our door down. Their rooms got searched for our stuff and the teachers found adult beverages (they were 15, so illegal), various illegal substances and a blown up toilet – as in destroyed. Their room was wrecked and it was about £5,000 ($7,500) of damage.
The bully and his friends were suspended and had to pay for the damage and banned from future school trips.
But there’s still more. We were in Malta, so they couldn’t really be sent home. On the last day, we went to the beach. Myself, my roommates, and a few older students hired out some pedal boats and went out on the ocean. The bully and his mates decided to follow us. We were just chilling in the sun when the bully’s boat comes over. They stop a few meters away and swim onto ours. Full blown fight kicks off. My teacher had hired a jet ski kinda thing and comes racing over.
Just as I’m pushing the bully off the boat, the teacher stops and sends waves flying. The bully slips and hits his jaw on the boat (wasn’t broken though). He and his mates swim off and leave us alone.
Get back to school the next day and they’re in deep trouble. Banned from 6th form (11th and 12th grade) and in isolation for 2 weeks after their suspension and paying the damages.
It was glorious.”
Not The Smartest Bully
“During fifth grade, a kid harassed me, mainly about my weight. I usually ignored him.
One day while we were walking up a hill to our Art Class, he noticed I was on my phone. He took it from me and found a picture of my sister. He started saying how much he’d love to sleep with her. I shoved him down and grabbed my phone, then continued walking up the hill without a word. A lot of the time when he physically attacked me, I would silently push him away and a teacher would intervene. Well, this time there wasn’t a teacher. Pushing him down really made him mad. He ran at me and I turn around, stuck my foot in the air, and pushed him backwards. By now my friends had stopped walking and were laughing their butts off while I calmly stared at this kid who had caused silent tears to be shed for a year.
He stood up, reached in his pocket, and pulled out a knife. I couldn’t run faster than him, I knew that, so I’d have to seriously fight this guy now. Something about realizing this and thinking of how much of a jerk he was and how he had really hurt my feelings for the past year made me mad enough to literally tackle him and start punching the snot out of him. I just went to town, pulverizing his face. I stood up and realized I was bleeding. The jerk stabbed me with the knife, but only like the very tip. It felt numb with pain and even though it was small, my friends started flipping out. They ran up the hill and got a teacher while my bully rolled around in pain and I stood clutching my ‘stab wound’ that was really just a cut. After we were both in the principal’s office, the principal saw I was ‘stabbed’ and figured I was acting out of self defense. Logan got a few months in juvie while the girls fawned over big tough me. It was great.”
The Best Comeback
“In 6th grade, I wasn’t the most beautiful girl, so I was picked on because I was overweight. The popular girls would pick on me, mostly.
So, one day I noticed the most popular girl in class had a tissue sticking out of her bra. She started picking on me and I instantly came back with, ‘I’m going to go cry about it. Can I borrow a tissue from your bra?’ I said this in front of our whole class during indoor recess. INSTANT tears from the popular girl. I had never seen that girl cry before – it was the best moment of my 6th grade year! It was a stupid comeback but it was a hitter.”
Subtle But Satisfying Revenge
“The kids in my neighborhood were always pretty brutal towards me. I had a long stretch of awkward years and one day early in high school, I got caught up after the final bell of the day and was rushing to make my bus home. I was running in a full sprint and saw the bus pulling away. I ran after it, only to see the ringleader of my neighborhood miscreants flipping me off and throwing papers at me from the back window of the bus and the rest of the neighborhood kids laughing at me. They never stopped the bus for me.
That same kid has since has gotten in trouble for driving under the influence several times and a laundry list of misdemeanors and now works at one of the area’s only full-service gas stations. The feeling I get when I go out of my way in my shiny Audi to that gas station just to special request him to pump my gas is the best revenge I’ll ever have.”
Sometimes No Opinion IS An Opinion
“A couple years ago (I’m in my early 30’s), the guy my cousin had just married asked me if I knew his co-worker, Joe, who was a couple years ahead of me at my high school. I sure did! He was a monster and tormented me daily throughout elementary school. I didn’t see him after elementary school for a few years, and when I was a freshman in high school, I had vague thoughts of kicking the crap out of him until I discovered, sad to say, he was huge and jacked. Not happening.
Fun fact: one thing he did (when he was in sixth grade) was TP, spray-paint, and break windows in the house of the one African-American family who had moved to the neighborhood. This was in the northeast in the early 90’s. Real winner here.
Anyway, I told my cousin-in-law that I did know him, but didn’t have much to say, and I stopped talking. I didn’t want to start badmouthing someone my cousin-in-law might like, especially since this was a new family member I’d be seeing the rest of my life. So I didn’t say anything, and that was the end of the story. Or so I thought!
Fast forward another year or two, and I’m having drinks with the cousin and her husband. He says, ‘Oh, by the way, you really hated Joe, didn’t you?’ I said, why yes, I sure did. He said he could tell because, even having only met me a year or so before that, he knew I was positive and effusive enough in general that if the only thing I can say about someone is that I know them, and I won’t say anything positive or interesting, that’s a bad, bad sign. He was right, not that I had realized it at the time.
Anyway, as it turns out, the cousin-in-law was not just this guy’s co-worker, but his boss, and Joe had been doing a pretty crummy job. The cousin-in-law was wondering if he should keep Joe on the staff, and he was wondering if I’d have something good to say about him. When I absolutely did not, he let him go.
I can’t say I did cartwheels of joy, but I have to admit I’m not sorry it happened. People always told me that the bullies would get their’s eventually, and it’s only occasionally true. So knowing that I played a small part in getting back at this guy is really fulfilling.”
Enjoy That Sandwich, Jerk
“I got a lot of fat jokes from this one kid throughout seven of my years in school. I got them all the time from most people but there was real hate and venom behind this one kid’s insults.
During a biology practical, I hid a cows eye in his sandwich and kept half an eye on him during the lunch hour. Judging by his reaction, he got a good bite of it before realizing.
After that, people began drawing eyes on his books, notes, making jokes about it. He never heard the end of it. I know this makes me lower than him, but I have no regrets.”
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
“A few years ago, I ran into one of my childhood bullies at Wal-Mart. She was behind the register ringing up my groceries.
It was clear she recognized me from the look she gave me and by the fact that she didn’t greet me, which store employees are supposed to do. However, I said hello and gave her one of those quick and meaningless, ‘hello service-person’ smiles and let her ring me up.
As I paid and left, the only thing I said was, ‘Thank you,’ while glancing over my receipt. Basically, I treated her as I would any other service-person. I didn’t let on that I recognized her in any way, nor did I go out of my way to be mean to her. Either option would have would have required me to acknowledge that she was anyone worth remembering.
In school, this girl had mocked and tormented me for everything from my intelligence, to my weight, to the fact that my parents were immigrants. For me, treating her as if she were barely worth my notice was much more satisfying than trying to throw my own success in her face.
Although, as I was getting ready to pay, I made sure to lay my car key with it’s big gold Lexus symbol on it on the little stand while I was rooting around my purse for my wallet (the spare key from my mom’s car, but she didn’t need to know that) then I let her get a long eye-full of the Marc Jacobs wallet I carry as I was ‘looking’ for money. Heh.”
The Teacher Was On His Side
“This jerk kid in my school had been bullying me since seventh grade, just the regular stuff you’d expect from teenage jerks. Gay bashing, calling me gay and so on. I’m truly convinced he’s in the closet and secretly obsessed with me because he just goes out of his way to be a jerk.
Quote: ‘I think all gay people should be put on their own island away from everyone else.’
Anyway, in Math class, when the teacher wasn’t paying attention, he’d throw dimes and nickels at me from across the classroom (and usually miss because he had bad aim). I’m not the confrontational type at all, and have barely spoken in the class, but this ticked me off to no end. On a particular day, one of these dimes hit me in the back of the head. The entire class was quiet, and I just blew up. I turned around and said at the top of my lungs, in front of the teacher and all: ‘If you throw another freaking coin at me I’m going to get up and punch you in the freaking face.’ Got no response, and everyone in the room was staring at me, so I continued, ‘You’re tough enough to throw it when I’m not looking, but won’t admit it when I call you out. Coward.’ I don’t know what came over me, but the best part?
The teacher stared for a moment before commenting, ‘Well said.’ And resumed teaching. He hasn’t done anything to me since. Moral of the story, stand up for yourself if anyone ever picks on you. Bullies thrive on silence and their biggest fear is being called out, and I regret not doing it sooner.”
He Has A Funny Way Of Showing It
“My male classmate was always a jerk, a practical joker. But he picked on me the most. He threw spitballs from the back of the class to me (I sat at the front), put twisted stapler bullets on my chair at every opportunity, called me names, sometimes pushed me around and usually got me humiliated in my class.
So one day during class he was doing his usual — spitballs. It was a good day for him, because it landed in my hair. From that moment, something within me snapped and I got up calmly from my chair, with a mechanical pencil in my hand, I stabbed him squarely at the back of his hand. He looked mortified but he took it like a champ (the lead of the pencil broke and stuck to his skin, I must’ve stabbed pretty deep) there was some droplets of blood from the wound.
Before he could do anything, the teacher came in and started class, so he couldn’t excuse himself. When class ended, I saw him bolt towards the bathroom. My friend leaned over and whispered to me, ‘You know that he likes you, right?’ I just sat there feeling half-guilty and half-victorious. Welp, he didn’t disturb me much after that.”
“During my junior year, there was this brat we’ll call M in my gym class. She would single out a few people to torture with her minions, and I was one of the lucky few. She would shoot dirty looks, call people names, single them out in games like dodgeball, all that kind of stuff. One day, she decided to tell her super-senior jerk friend to single me out in floor hockey, and he (purposely) hacked sticks with me and smashed my wrist. It ended up only being sprained, but I was mad nonetheless.
A few weeks go by and we start playing dodgeball. I was going 1 on 3 with some senior boys and then they hit me, so I started walking off the court. Then M starts yelling at me, ‘Get off the freaking court, you’re out!’ and all that stuff.
I was like, ‘Yeah I’m fully aware of that. If you weren’t such an idiot, you would notice that’s exactly what I’m doing.’ And then she calls me a brat and stuff, and I know that was a mean comment, but all my rage throughout the year was pent up and I was about to release it. I walked over to her and said, ‘Okay, what the heck is your problem? I’ve done nothing to you so I really don’t understand why you’re acting like this towards me.’ Then she just starts laughing with her little annoying friends, so I start walking away.
She then says ‘Yeah, you better walk away.’ Rage ensues.
I did a 180 and punched her square in the temple, knocking her to the ground. This is the first time I have ever gotten into a physical altercation with anyone, and I’m not an easily angered person. So of course, everyone was surprised, and the teacher didn’t even notice until M’s friend was like ‘[My name] just punched M in the face, what the heck!’
They got a security guard to take me to the discipline office, and he was like, ‘Okay, we’re gonna go to the nurse first.’
And I was like ‘Uh, why? I punched her.’ He was all surprised that I didn’t hurt my hand or anything, and that I actually knew how to throw a punch. He gave me a high five.
Throughout the next few days, I had people I barely talked to coming up to me and giving me hugs and high fives, telling me how they’ve wanted to punch her in the face for so long and were glad someone actually did it.”
He Broke Up Their Family
“In middle school, I was the shortest kid in class (today, I’m 6’3”) and was the easy target for bullying. One guy in particular stood out as particularly mean, let’s call him Phillip.
Phillip happened to live in the same neighborhood as me, about 10 houses down the street. The thing to keep in mind here is that in elementary school, he and I used to be friends, but we fell into different crowds as we grew up. Despite our growing animosity, our parents were still friends and neighborly, oblivious to the fact that young Phillip enjoyed ‘borrowing’ my lunch money and ‘play fighting’ after school. He was suspended twice for bullying and started to develop psychopathic tendencies, coming very close to expulsion at one point.
Phillip’s parents ended up divorcing in high school, and took split custody of the three kids. Phillip moved to Texas with his dad, his mother and two daughters stayed in Florida.
I dated his younger sister in senior year of high school. We never slept together, mind you, just dated for a month or so. But what’s important is what happened in that month: Phillip’s parents were talking about reconciling for the benefit of the kids.
On Thanksgiving, Phillip and his dad came home for what was supposed to be the trial run for reconciliation. Everyone was to be on their best behavior, all smiles, etc etc. I was invited to the dinner, and Phillip had no clue I would be there. When he walked in and saw me, he instantly turned red and was visibly filled with rage.
He went into a frenzy right there, demanding I leave his house, he came up to me and shoved me. When his sister informed him we were dating, he lost it. He punched me in the jaw and started screaming he was going to kill me. He grabbed a carving knife from the table and it was evident he intended to stab me.
Everything was stopped by two words: ‘Get out.’ His mom said that in an icy cold whisper that still chills me. Silence. In a seething voice, she told Phillip and his father that they were to never set foot in her house again. Then she looked at Phillip and said, ‘You are the reason why our lives are terrible, you are the reason why our marriage has been ruined, and you are the reason why I will never let you back into my life.’ No words were said after that, they left, and I never saw Phillip again.”
He Got The Grade He Deserved
“I’ve done worse than this, but this is pretty much the most I’m willing to admit to.
There was a kid that kinda-sorta beat me up once in middle school. I say kinda-sorta because all he really did was get me in a wrestling lock, but there were people watching and I couldn’t get out of it. It was a little humiliating.
Three important things here: One, I hate group work, so I usually ended up doing the work myself and presenting it because I didn’t trust others to do as well as I would. As a result, many kids got free As, and I didn’t have to worry about others dragging my grade down. Two, I transferred high schools in the middle of the school year for reasons unrelated to this kid. Three, I can hold a grudge a long time.
So three years later, we were in the same high school, and we were in a class where the teacher told us she would be preparing us for college courses, so our grade would be calculated as follows: Homework 10%, Quizzes 20%, Project 1 25%, Project 2 25%, Final 20%. The kid and I were partnered up for a project. He… was not the smartest. D’s on quizzes, didn’t know answers when called on, etc. He did cheat on homework, though, so that 10% was a given. He was also kind of counting on getting that free A from me to help him pass when he heard we were partnered up.
I assured him I would do all the work for the project, knowing full well I was going to start classes at my new school about 3 days before the project was due. To those of you who haven’t transferred schools before, many teachers don’t care about assignments you may still have when you transfer. Sometimes the new ones take the grade from the old ones, and sometimes you start with a clean slate, meaning they get to rework how to calculate your final grade. Assignments you’ve completed that aren’t due yet, though, usually just end up being worth nothing (or extra credit, if you’re lucky, but I never needed extra credit). Anyway, I had friends who were teachers, even back then. I knew how things worked. Didn’t do a single bit of work on the project.
Transferred. Heard the kid failed the class. Laughed. Went on with my life.
Heard later he dropped out. I doubt my betrayal was the straw the broke the camel’s back, but you never know.”
Don’t Feel Sorry For Him
“In college, I was friends with a guy who was gay but too afraid to come out. We started hanging out a lot, and I thought we were good friends. I didn’t really understand why he wanted to be friends with me, because I was 15 and I was definitely ‘The weird kid.’ People made fun of me because I was too young to be in college and because I didn’t drink or have a boyfriend.
Anyway, I lived in the same dorm with this guy and he had two roommates. Some nights he would come over to watch a movie and would stay in my room, sleeping on the floor or in a chair. I never understood why he wouldn’t just go back to his room.
Eventually I heard a rumor that this guy told everyone that we were sleeping together. I went to his room to confront him, but he wasn’t there. I asked his roommates and they confirmed that he’d been telling explicit stories about me. He not only told everyone that we were sleeping together, but he also made up fiction about numerous explicit adventures I’d had in the past.
This made me mad beyond belief. At the time, I never slept with anyone before and this guy had basically told everyone that I was easy. Still, I didn’t tell anyone that he’s gay. Instead, I replaced his hair conditioner with hair removal cream. The result was fantastic, especially because he loved his hair. And he never found out who did it. I also considered putting superglue in his lock because the university had huge fines for messed-up locks, but I took pity on his roommates.”
It’s What She Deserves
“In high school, this girl wiped her feet against the back of my jacket. Being an awkwardly shy kid, I cried silently inside and watched on as her friends laughed. About five minutes later, she tripped walking down the bleachers and fell on her face. If ever there is such a thing called cosmic revenge, that was it.”