When a couple gets married, you'd think that would symbolize two families harmoniously becoming one. However, there's always some drama...like mothers who are just not fans of the women the sons chose to marry. For what it's worth, some of the reasons are actually quite valid. After all, mother does know best.
These Mothers reveal the reasons why they hate their daughters-in-law. Content has been edited for clarity.
Keeping A Restraining Order Against Her?
“My son married a psychopath.
He met her at a chi alpha campus ministry convention. She was dead set on becoming a missionary of some sort and he just wanted to get his passport and go to as many foreign countries as he could. When the group leader found out they were sleeping together, she told him that she was pregnant. And he insisted they get married immediately. My son actually wants kids although he should never have them. So he agreed.
I didn’t even meet her until it was a done deal. I told him to annul the marriage and get a DNA test before I realized that she wasn’t really pregnant. She was just psycho.
Here’s what I found out. First, she told him she was pregnant. Then she said she was having twins. A little while later, she said she lost the babies. Then she said one miraculously survived but when she got her period, she determined that it had died too. As soon as her period was over, she told him she was pregnant again and she lost those babies too. She refused to take a pregnancy test and never once went to see a doctor, much less an OB-GYN although I offered to pay for it. Pretty sure the goof was never once pregnant.
My son caught her cheating with her ex-boyfriend and she claimed that her ex was taking advantage of her. The son called the police and then the ex told the police that she’d traded sleeping with him for a cell phone! Then she accused my son of domestic violence. Cops didn’t arrest him, though. They took her to a psychiatric hospital.
Needless to say, I was happy when they divorced. But I keep a restraining order against her just to make sure she never shows back up on my doorstep.”
They Should’ve Been On Maury
“Mine was a cheating addict who strung my son along through a whole pregnancy full of lies. The baby came out a few too many shades off to pass as my son’s. She even tried to take my son to court for child support, until her lawyer laid eyes on my son and told her to forget it.
She stole and pawned a lot of my son’s belongings along the way too. She never got clean, never got help, and has done this whole thing to yet another man since.”
Talking Bad About His Parents?
“My brother got married six months ago.
When he proposed, he knew his wife less than a year. They were each other’s rebound, and they moved SO quickly. Now there’s nothing wrong with that, to each their own, so we tried to get to know her and get along with her.
She is a very judgmental person. My parents are divorced, so she would talk bad about one parent to the other, and vice versa, all while being fake nice. Also, she twists around a lot of things we’ve said to alienate my brother from us.
So once they started wedding planning, we ended up having a fallout, and I didn’t speak to my brother for almost a year. To this day, we’re civil, but we don’t speak unless we necessarily have to. It makes me very sad, but I want him happy, so I keep them at a distance to avoid any conflict.
Also, my sister-in-law makes zero effort to befriend my mom. She calls my stepmother her mother-in-law and doesn’t contact my mom for anything. That would make sense if my mom was a crazy person, but she has tried and tried, so she finally gave up.”
“We Didn’t Want To Like You”
“My husband and I have been together for 10 years now. Married for 7. I am overweight, by quite a bit. He is 5 years younger than I am. I have 2 children from 2 previous marriages. He divorced his wife and they had no children so it was drama-free and clean.
When he took me to ‘meet the parents,’ we arrived at this super nice gated community. They lived in an insane house that was decorated to the nines; it was literally perfect. I felt so out of place, being in the company of such a pretty and petite family. I should mention his brother and wife were also there that night. The car ride there I was sweating bullets. I walked in the door and from that exact moment, I had never felt so accepted, welcomed and loved. I admitted to my mother-in-law recently, that if I were in her shoes I would have told my son to run for the hills. She was honest and said as a mother, she was cautious for her son and what my past might bring to our relationship. She even said: ‘We didn’t WANT to like you, but you made it impossible.’ To brag a bit about my husband, he has become the most amazing man and has been the best dad to my children, while helping me raise them.
My mother, on the other hand, has been nothing but unaccepting and outright RUDE to him. She even recently stating that ‘no one is good enough for her daughter,’ yet she is friends with BOTH of my ex-husbands on Facebook and even remains ‘friends’ with my first ex-mother-in-law. She says she does it to keep an open dialog for the sake of my son. In reality, my son has had nothing to do with his grandmother for years – so it’s basically an excuse. She makes me sick. I’m pretty much done with her at this point. He has been amazing to me and our kids. We have built an incredible life together and are still going strong a decade later and she’s still rude to him. The rest of my family thinks he’s a great guy and don’t see what her problem is.”
She Brought Out The Worst In Him!
“I am speaking on behalf of my mother, who disapproved of my brother’s fiancée. They ultimately did not get married.
The future-daughter-in-law was hugely dependent on other people to blame her immature and dangerous behavior on. She was never responsible for her decisions, someone (namely her idiot and prejudiced parents) was always to blame for ‘convincing/making’ her do something.
She was insanely jealous. She was jealous of every girl, even cousins, and sisters. She sighted jealousy in the relationship and did things deliberately to call her relationships into question. She would dance and dress provocatively with other men and then be shocked and offended when her obvious behavior was called out in double-standard.
She made zero effort to integrate into our culture, yet demanded he and we make changes to accommodate her and her culture. Going so far as to demand we all learn a new language so that their future children would not be confused. It was not enough that we spoke 2 out of the 3 languages she wanted us to learn. It must always be 100% in her favor. No compromising.
She brought out the worst parts of his character. He has ego issues, she inflated it and spoke down to his friends. Slowly, she started alienating him and reducing his outside influences down to her and a few ‘ugly’ other couples. She laughed in his family’s face, openly called us stupid, and had no issue disrespecting our home and his parents.
In short, he was isolated, ego-driven, money hungry, completely insecure, and only her validation or the validation of her parents was going to make his decisions. Thank goodness we were able to finally talk to him out staying with her before the venue was booked.”
“How Am I Gonna Get Grandbabies?”
“My mom was hesitant about my partner at first because ‘Oh no! Same gender? How am I gonna get grandbabies?’
Shhh Mom, it’s okay, you have two more chances with my siblings, but also none of us owe you grandbabies. She also seems to struggle with her perception of my partner’s intelligence and anxiety.
On the other hand, my partner’s mother constantly nags about how I lack a ‘real job.’ I am physically disabled and autistic (making most typical entry level jobs), I do the budgeting and whatnot (partner has dyscalculia/learning disability, which ties into my mom’s issue regarding smarts). We aren’t on benefits, and I do art as well. She knows all of this. But that’s not good enough, of course!
We work really, really well together, for the record, almost a brains and brawn sorta deal. Our strengths and weaknesses suit each other nicely!
My parents mostly keep it to themselves these days, but when my mom has me alone she’ll voice her…uh, concerns, and I know my partner’s mom is really obnoxious about it behind my back as well. My mom at least seems to be backing off these days, but my partner’s mom is still going strong, I hear.
Honestly, though…I’m really proud of both of us. It can be hard at times but we’re doing so much better than I ever expected, and I’m grateful for that.”
She’s Almost 30 Years Older Than Him!
“I didn’t approve of the marriage from the beginning, even though my son is a grown man and of course, can do whatever he wants.
My son married a woman much older than himself, much older than me even. He is 43 now and she is 70. I knew he didn’t marry her for love and only married her for what she had and this alone made me mad. My son brought her to my house to meet me and I was pleasant with her, she was pleasant with me and to my mother, who was very ill at the time, but it was still awkward.
They only spent the night, then left. My son continued living with me and his wife continued living in another city for quite a long time. Every time my son would go to stay with his wife, he came home complaining about her. I never heard anything good, only bad. So of course, this made me dislike her even more.
Fast forward. They get into a big argument while my son was staying with his wife and he comes back home again, complaining about her. He told me she wanted to come to my house to see him and he told her not to come. She did anyway. As I stated, my very ill mother was here and my son’s wife comes here uninvited. She pulls up on the sidewalk for some weird reason and comes to the door. My son refused to go outside and he told me not to open the door so I didn’t. His wife continues ringing the doorbell, making the dogs go insane, then she starts knocking and tries to look in through my windows. My son calls the police and the next thing I know, his wife is in handcuffs. My son goes outside to talk to the officers and he said his wife trespassed. I had to sign it. It was ridiculous.
They are still together I guess but I haven’t talked to my son for awhile – I’m glad I only have one son.”
She Doesn’t Ever Help Out!
“For me, I don’t like my son’s new wife because she’s a lazy brat, to put it bluntly. They’re both 26 and she doesn’t lift a finger to help do any housework, laundry, or anything. She seems to expect him to do everything for her and to me, it feels like he’s a doormat, in that respect even though he probably doesn’t see it that way. You can go into their house and there’ll be piles of dirty dishes just lying around unwashed and it’s disgusting. Relationships should mean shared responsibility but she doesn’t do her part.
On top of that, it’s like she treats our home like hers. She just makes herself at home around our pool and hot tub, she uses them more than we do and we live here. The only good thing I have to say is she doesn’t seem to be after him for money (we’re a well-off family and he’s making $100k+ at 26 and should be making $500k by 35-40 at this rate) and she builds up more savings than he does despite earning more.
Honestly, I just wish she would do more to help out, even just offering would be nice even if we don’t need it but as long as they’re happy I keep out of it.”
Not All Mother-In-Laws Are Horrible People
“I’m a mother of three sons. One of them is married and until very recently, I absolutely adored my daughter-in-law. She was the ‘daughter’ I didn’t have. They gave me the most amazing granddaughter. My daughter-in-law did, however, bring a level of drama to our lives that we were not accustomed to, and that was hard to adjust to. Being a household of primarily males, there just was not much ‘drama.’
The daughter-in-law is nine years older than my son; they started dating when my son was 19. I was very concerned about the age difference, but I always treated her respectfully and with kindness. They are amidst divorce now, and I’m not thrilled with her behavior over the past six months. My reason is that she knew she was dating a very young man, and they knew when they decided to marry and have a child, that the young man was still quite young. My daughter-in-law remains flummoxed that my son (who is 23 now) hasn’t turned into a 30 year old adult, like she is.
Some red flags did go off for me as I observed her own relationship with her mother, they were quite harsh with each other, but I tried not to let that affect my acceptance of her and she became an integral part of our family. Nonetheless, she has treated my son poorly, and I no longer ‘like’ her. It has nothing to do with ‘competing’ with her. It has to do with how she is now treating him, and us.
This potential mother-in-law is open to any potential daughter-in-law or partner any of my boys become involved with. I want my sons to have loving relationships in their lives, and I would never do anything to hinder whoever they choose to share their lives with. Not all mother-in-laws are horrible people.”
“The Most Self-Absorbed, Controlling, Entitled Hag”
“For the past few years, I have dealt with a handful of issues that my daughter-in-law has caused for me and my family. She is married to my youngest stepson and I’m 11 years older than her, but our personalities are definitely very different. At one point, my stepson and her were homeless and we went out of our way to let them move in with us until they could afford a place of their own. My daughter-in-law repaid this kindness by stealing everything she felt she was entitled to, from food to kitchen cookware, etc. leaving my children with almost no food for two weeks. She also accused me of pushing her in my kitchen when I was trying to help her and then told several people in our town that I attempted to pull a knife out of the drawer to stab her with after I pushed her. I did none of these things. I offered to finish cooking something for her. She had left her infant son in his carrier after several hours and he was screaming. I had reached for the can opener which was in the top drawer and all knives are kept in the pantry, and are still to this day. All this aside, most of her vitriol and hate has been directed at me for the most part until this year.
This Christmas I made sure everyone received gifts, adults and children alike. My family is very low income, but I do what I can. My other stepson and his wife also bought gifts for everyone. They are also very low income. Now this daughter-in-law and stepson that I have the continued issues with are not low income, but are not under any obligation to by gifts for anyone. My daughter handed the gifts to my daughter-in-law and she looked at my daughter giving her the most awful look and said ‘You don’t deserve a gift this year, because you are now 18 and an adult and we don’t buy gifts for adults!’ Then she greedily snagged her gifts and opened them and completely embarrassing my daughter. She did buy a small gift for my son and that was it.
She did not speak to my daughter after that, not even say goodbye. My daughter-in-law did however spend $200 on gifts for her 19-year-old half brother, a few hundred on her dad and his wife, a few hundred on her mom and sisters, all of whom are adults, but my daughter didn’t deserve one.
So the story goes on, the daughter-in-law starts Snapchatting my son here and there asking how his Christmas was, seeing how he’s doing and so on, will not answer any snaps from my daughter, then she actually blocks my daughter. New Year’s Eve rolls around and both my children go over to my second stepson’s house for a bonfire and see that their other brother and his wife are there too. She starts staring at my daughter and still won’t speak to her, telling my son in private that he’s the better child, better than his sister. What the actual heck? Why would anyone do this, let alone to someone else’s children?
My daughter has done nothing wrong. She turned 18 – is that a crime? I know what the crime is, my daughter is young, beautiful, thin, and intelligent, and my daughter-in-law can’t handle that at all. My daughter-in-law is a self absorbed controlling entitled hag who is truly unhappy about being in the presence of others who she deems as competition.
I’m over her games and the way she is treating my daughter. Last year, my daughter-in-law was complaining about not being part of the family. Well, I went out of my way to make sure she was part of the family and she went out of her way to make sure that she was not part of my family by any means.”