We’ve All Had Bad Dates, But This One Really Takes The Cake
There is a common belief shared by women all across the globe that all men are dogs. While that might not necessarily be true for every single member of the male population, there are more than a few examples of men who just act out so inappropriately, so savagely, so embarrassingly, who just don’t make a good case for all of the men out there.
And the story you’re about to read about a woman by the name of Kathy does nothing but hurt the male argument and bolster support for all of those who feel that men are nothing more than depraved mongrels.
Kathy, a busy restaurant owner, was fed up with going on blind dates with the drying well of her friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations, so she turned where every single person in 2019 turned – the “most sacred of modern relationship institutions,” the modern-day speed dating… online dating.
Describing herself as a “very busy person” trying to get it in with other “very busy people,” Kathy said she prizes honesty and directness above all else when it comes to creating an online dating profile.
And with the directness and honesty comes to the true picture of Kathy’s appearance, which she was unapologetic in describing.
“I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat,” Kathy wrote. “Not ‘curvy,’ not ‘thick,’ not ‘lots to love’ — I’m freaking fat.”
And her appearance isn’t something she’s ashamed of, but Kathy was well aware that weight can be a “deal breaker” for a lot of people out there, so she wanted to be as straight-forward as possible because who wants to waste someone’s time?
I’ll tell you who… He goes by the name of Evan. And he’s about to become the dog of all dogs…
The First Date
Kathy’s history with Evan started innocent enough. They came across each other on Tinder about a year ago and seemed to hit it off. The two prospective daters exchanged a series of “friendly messages” for a few hours one night before finally deciding it would be a great idea to meet up for drinks the following night.
Excited for the prospect of a date and what could possibly come next, Kathy went to the designated meeting place the night of their date and waited for Evan to show up. Then she waited some more. And then waited even longer, but Evan was nowhere to be found. No messages saying, “Sorry, I’m running late,” or “Hey, I got caught up and will be there a little late.” Nothing.
Finally, after about an hour of waiting for a date, who she was now convinced had no intentions of coming, Kathy decided to cut her losses and save herself any further embarrassment. But then, just as she was getting up to leave, Kathy heard a text message pop up on her phone. Was it Evan? Did he get caught up? Did something happen? Is he okay?
Before Kathy could even read the first text, her hopes were dashed. Texts started rolling in:
“I can see you sweating from here.”
“How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?”
And finally this one:
“Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”
The harrassing text messages were all coming from different phone numbers, and each of them started commenting on her clothes, so she knew they had to be close. They had to be watching her. But from where?
“This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies,” Kathy wrote.” I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out.”
The texts didn’t stop there. As Kathy was heading home, they kept coming through. When she got home, they kept going through. Fed up, Kathy decided to put an end to this and block the numbers.
Kathy went to bed that night probably thinking that her experience with Evan would stop there. She was wrong, but what she was about to do felt so right…
So, This Is A “Game” You Like To Play
A few weeks passed and Kathy went about her normal business. That is until the day she ran into Evan out in public.
“We got on the same elevator and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions,” Kathy recalled. “I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some ‘game’ that he and his friends play.”
Through the conversation, Kathy learned that Evan knew she was fat before agreeing to meet, and he wasn’t alone. All of his friends – the ones that had been texting Kathy – were in on it too.
When asked why, Evan said, “It’s what [we] do.”
They would match up with fat women on online dating services, then either “ghost” them or “troll” them at the arranged meeting place.
She didn’t know how long Evan and his cronies had been taking part in this “game,” but she did know that this was the first time they had been caught.
“It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt,” Kathy wrote. “I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.”
Kathy might have thought that she would never hear from or see Evan again, but she must have done some favors in a previous life, because her tormentor was about to become the tormented.
Funny Seeing You Here
As the days, weeks, and months passed, Kathy grew busier and busier at her restaurant. A local foodie wrote an outstanding review on the eatery and Kathy had been “slammed” ever since the review went live.
Then came Valentine’s Day.
Busy working between the kitchen and the front of the restaurant, Kathy was running around like a maniac when she noticed someone who looked awfully familiar helping his date get seated at a table. Could it be? No, well, yes… Actually, it was… It was Evan.
Suddenly, all of the pain and torment that this little conniving excuse for a man and his friends had put Kathy through nearly a year earlier came back. With the golden opportunity, Kathy knew she had to jump on it.
And jump on it she did.
First, Kathy checked at the hostess station to see who was working the section where Evan was eating. When she saw that Nan, one of her favorite employees, was running those tables, Kathy ran to the bar, pulled $400 from the till, and handed it Nan with one, simple message:
“This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”
And did Nan follow through…
“I Would Have Said ‘Hi’ Earlier, But…
As Kathy watched from a distance, she observed Nan walk over to Evan’s table and start spilling food, drinks, and just about everything else on him as the beginning of the process of enacting her sweet, albeit delayed, revenge.
“She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him,” Kathy recalled. “I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date.”
Kathy said the date looked like a “perfectly lovely lady,” so she told Nan to be nothing short of perfect for the date and as terrible as possible for Evan, who was trying so hard to get lucky that night.
To cool things down, Nan poured ice water on Evan’s crotch. Then she turned it up a bit and smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. With Evan still not phased by the abuse, Nan spilled soup on his shirt. Then dropped every fork, spoon, and knife he requested throughout the dinner.
Kathy got in on the fun as well and started messing with his food, because when you’re the chef, manager, and owner, you can pretty much do whatever you want to get back at someone who brought so much shame and pain to your life. What’s fair is fair, right? Kathy’s plan of attack included everything from personally “over salting” his food, to using the bottom shelf bottles for his overpriced drinks, replacing ingredients in his dessert. Nothing was off the table.
“To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out,” Kathy wrote. “He must have really wanted to hook up with this woman.”
But Kathy had to find a way to make Evan crack. What would it take?
Sorry For The Mess
As the night of abuse was drawing to a close, Evan finally cracked. Having had more than enough, Evan demanded that Nan find the manager and bring her to the table because he was not happy with the service.
“I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what (I’m not ashamed to admit) I’d been planning out all night,” Kathy wrote.
When Kathy finally left the kitchen and walked up to the table, she knew her moment had come. She knew that the feeling she felt all those months ago was not for nothing. But what would she say? What would make Evan realize in nanosecond that he had royally messed up by coming to this restaurant, by leading Kathy on, by making her feel less than human, by playing that terrible “game” with his buddies at the expense of women all across the city?
Kathy thought back to the seemingly endless barrage of text messages that drove her to the point of blocking phone numbers and said:
“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”
In that instant, Evan knew. He knew his time had to come. He knew his little game finally came back to haunt him like a ghost from his shady past. And what’s worse is that his date was about to see Evan for the man he is.
“I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life,” Kathy recalled.
Kathy explained that Evan was a little too “flummoxed” to explain the comment, his reaction, and his general demeanor to his date, so Kathy pulled a chair up to the table and introduced herself to his date, Amanda, and filled her in on Evan’s games.
As the three of them sat at the table, Kathy told Amanda all about how she met Evan, showed her some “fun, old text messages,” and let her know that he was nothing more than a little, immature and hurtful man-child who should be avoided like the plague.
For her trouble, Kathy gave Amanda a voucher for a free meal on her next visit. But Evan wouldn’t get off so easy.
Instead of a voucher, an apology, or anything else resembling a kind gesture, Kathy told Evan to get up, get out, and never come back.
Guys, Just Don’t Be Pricks
Amazingly enough, Evan must have learned a lesson from all of this, or at least found a new source of fun, as he quickly deleted his Tinder profile shortly after being called out for being a dumpster human. When Kathy went to check on his profile, it was non-existent. Hopefully, Evan took something from his confrontation, maybe he’ll man up and put an end to the game, and start acting like a decent human for once.
Only time will tell.
So, guys, let this story serve as a cautionary tale as to how not to act when talking to people on dating sites. Just because you don’t meet your prospective dates face to face as you hid behind a phone or computer screen, it doesn’t mean that your actions don’t have consequences. Most women already view you as mangy stray dogs, so try not to reinforce that stereotype.
And for the “Evans” of the world… Just stop. Don’t stop next month, next week, or tomorrow… stop now. We’ll all be a lot better off if you do.