When is the last time you had a friend or acquaintance at your house? Was it for a friendly visit or were you providing them with temporary shelter? During their stay, did they repay you with the same courtesy and respect one would expect from a guest? If so, you have no idea how lucky you are.
Some guests are brazen, obnoxious, careless, and (the frustrating thing of all) unapologetic and their behavior is often the cause of fragile or irrevocably broken relationships. People who should have been a little more specific when using the phrase "make yourself at home" used Reddit as a means to vent their undying rage. These are the rudest things people saw a guest in their house do. It gets ugly, folks.
That Poor Lounge Chair
“A few years back, one of my roommates, Janelle, brought her friend Grady in to stay with us because of family issues. She was totally normal. I didn’t care. Everything went downhill when Grady’s boyfriend was seen at a club with another woman. It turned out to be a total misunderstanding, but she spiraled after that and tried to drag us all with her.
She started sleeping with the guys from our school’s basketball team to provoke a reaction from her ex. She would bring friends over with MANY ILLICIT SUBSTANCES, which I got into a physical altercation with her over. She would also use my kitchen utensils to make friend Oreos all the time. Then, there was the time I woke up very early to get ready for work and I heard her making love in the living room.
Forget it. I’ll still get ready anyway.
Being a prick, I walked into the kitchen and there they were, messing around on my beautiful lounge chair. We all bought furniture pieces when we moved in. I got a great deal on the lounge chair and had it placed near the window to drink coffee in the morning. The worst part was when saw me and stood up really fast, causing all their fluids to fall out of her and onto my chair. My best friend recounts it as the day I became a banshee.
Get stuffed, Grady, and your ex, for ruining your mental health and my chair.”
Respect Your Friend’s Pets
“My ‘friend’ entered my home. My very typically shy cat came up to see what was what and greet him. He said, ‘I hate cats,’ and kicked her.
I do not mean that this was a punt across the room, but it was a kick with some lift off. It was not a light nudge. I already do that to her daily, she’s my shadow and I don’t want to hurt her when I can’t have her zipping around under my feet. To make matters worse, he knew I had a cat and we were in our 20s. He wasn’t a petulant child.
I’m my cat’s protector and advocate, but I hate to say that, back then, I had a lot of confidence issues and I was taken WAY aback by his swift action. It caught me off guard. I think I yelled, ‘What the heck?! Don’t kick my cat!’ but I can’t remember anything I did that was remarkable afterwards, other than the decision to stop inviting him over. I haven’t talked to him since.”
A Marvelous Dose Of Instant Karma
“I once had a guest who stole medicine out of my bathroom after eating my food and smoking all my cigs that were on the table. I know they stole the medicine because of the blood curdling scream I heard come out of the bathroom after I found them missing.
The medicine they ingested was the pills from a UTI. They numb your biz and make your pee bright red. The imbecile thought he was dying. I didn’t even invite him, he was a roommate’s guest.”
Her Roommate’s Boyfriend Was An Ungrateful Slob
“My roommate’s boyfriend used to, basically, live with us. It was on campus at our university, so we were pretty angry, since he was, basically, freeloading. We already had five people and we didn’t need a sixth. Also, we were all girls, so we were hesitant to run around in our skimpy pajamas when there was a guy who was always in the living room.
He also never said ‘Hi’ to us and, basically, ignored us. All of his AXE bath products hogged all the space in the bathroom. Not to mention, he and our roommate always banged super loud. On the rare occasion that they would wash their dishes (usually around 1 am), they would sing super badly and loudly. We confronted her about it and tried being nice about it.
‘The five of us are paying to live here and your boyfriend isn’t,’ we explained, ‘which isn’t fair to us or the other people that tried to get a place on campus but couldn’t.’
Her excuse was that he was having a fight with his parents and had nowhere else to go.
Well tough, lady. I’d be more lenient if I actually liked you or your boyfriend, but because I don’t, he can go find another friend to live with.“
Their Friend Brought A Real Prize Of A Date To Their House
“A married friend of my fiancée was staying with us for a week. She ended up going out and meeting some dude somewhere and invited him over to our place to mess around. When they got there, my fiancée and I were both home, so the friend asked if she could ‘borrow’ our bedroom.
When we said no, the guy asked if he could shoot up in our apartment. When my fiancée told him no and asked him to leave, he groped her. When she told me to call the cops, he pulled a knife and threatened both of us.
That was the only time I have ever pointed a loaded weapon at another human being. When the cops arrived, we found out the crapbag had several warrants out for various crimes, including aggravated assault. We don’t talk to that friend anymore and we did inform her husband of the situation.”
How To Offend Your Friends And Significant Other Within One Week
“Back when we were newlyweds, my husband invited his guy friends for the weekend to do some activity. It was fine. I love (most of) his friends. I was going to put them on air mattresses in the basement. They arrived and the one friend I only tolerate showed up with a woman. Unannounced. We were all around 22-23 at the time, but his date was in her 50s! Not that age was an issue, it was just interesting.
The woman was nice, but he completely ignored her the entire weekend. She spent the whole weekend hanging out with me. They didn’t even get her a ticket to the event they went to, so I had to talk to people I did not know when I just wanted to relax around the house that weekend.
There was also the issue that I couldn’t put her and him in the basement on the air mattresses. I had to move my kid out of her bedroom and have her sleep with me (Yay). The friend ended up getting really wasted and breaking something on the storm door. We had to go buy a replacement part.
But the most fun was what happened a week later. After my mom came to visit, I found a box of ‘ribbed for her pleasure’ rubber in the bathroom cabinet. We didn’t use rubbers, so they definitely were not ours. The only thing I can figure out is that they dropped their box in the throes of passion and my mom found them in or around the bed when she slept there. Not that rubbers are an embarrassing thing for a married couple to own, but now she thinks we get kinky in our daughter’s room. Yay.”
He Apparently Knew Quality Knives When He Saw Them
“When I was finally moving into this apartment building I had purchased six months prior to moving in, I purchased a whole bunch of things in anticipation of when the owners unit would one day be vacant. It was the first time I owned real estate. As it was an income property, I wanted to make it look especially nice to show prospective future tenants the potential this 90-something-year-old building had to offer. Of course, among my purchases had been a decent set of J.A. Henckel knives that cost me a fortune. Not the best knives available, but better than I have ever had while living anywhere else.
Of course, before I had fully moved in, a psychopathic, narcissistic ‘friend’ had invited himself over and manipulated his boyfriend into looking like he was abusing and victimizing him. I had not realized he was a psychopath yet, but what I did know was that he had a black eye, was showing signs of a possible concussion, and was now homeless. I let him stay in my house until morning when he could call a much closer friend to find a place to stay more permanently than in my as-of-yet unfurnished home that I had not yet stayed in myself.
He kept acting like he left something behind. He was absentminded due to his distraught and stressful situation. When I returned with more things to move in, he was waiting for me with a bag of groceries for dinner as a thank you for letting him stay over. His idea of a thank you dinner was Chef Boyardee meat raviolis from the dollar store. I was able to guess that they were from the dollar store was because all the tabs were broken off.
I didn’t know this was what he was planning on making, and he was very insistent on surprising me with whatever he had brought over in that bag. I was as polite as I could be with cold, unheated ravioli from a can in my recently acquired, never before used handmade dishes, which were still packed away in their box when he shooed me out of my kitchen, and which he also chipped by banging the cans on the edges of the bowls to get all that nightmarish mush out of the cans. He could have used the Ikea bowls on the shelves, but he chose to use the bowls that cost $60 each. Again, not the very best, but the best I could afford when having to purchase everything anew.
I kind of started to get the picture of what kind of person he was when he also served me my bowl which had less than the amount that he had in his bowl. It didn’t matter to me that much because I wasn’t exactly hungry. But, by the end of that cold dinner, I told him I would clean up and took my bowls into my new kitchen to find a giant mess. I didn’t yet have a can opener anywhere in the apartment and the tabs were broken off, as you may recall. How did he open the cans, you might be wondering?
He used the paring knife. By trying this camping trick he saw on TV, he broke the tip off and bent the newly blunted tip to first pierce the top of the can, several times, to unsuccessfully open it. He then moved on to trying to pry the top of the can with the dented 10″ chef’s knife that had yet to be used, since this was essentially my first meal in the place. When that was unsuccessful, he used the bread knife to cut the cans in half like he saw in an infomercial once. To clean up, he filled the sink with soapy bleach water, cause I didn’t have dish soap yet, to soak the knives in.
It took me a minute to understand what I was looking at. After five minutes of quiet shock as I tried to drain the sink of the bleach scented opaque red water to find the damage he was trying to hide, I came out into the living room to find him no longer sitting at my coffee table in the living room. Instead, he had dragged my inflatable bed, which I was planning to sleep on while waiting for my furniture I ordered to arrive and also doubled as a couch, into my master bedroom where he was already fast asleep. He finally woke up two days later, when I was fed up enough to decide to just flip the mattress over to get him off of it. I tried to get some sort of explanation from him about what I found in my kitchen and what made him think he could just stay in my house uninvited.
He apologized for the fact that my knives were so cheap and recommended that I go to Williams-Sonoma to get a decent set of knives. He was expecting me to have real knives, not some no-named brand from Mexico. He apparently had never heard of J.A. Henckels, which I had, ironically enough, purchased from the Williams Sonoma store a mile from my parents’ house the morning of that same day he happened to have ended his relationship with his abusive boyfriend. Somehow, he didn’t believe me, but he did offer to give me $20 to just buy a new set from Walmart to replace them if I was so ‘in love’ with these knives. He apparently recognized quality when he saw it and the knives he used in my kitchen – quality, he claimed, they were not.”
Sometimes Good Men Make Dumb Mistakes
“My old roommate needed a place to crash as he got kicked out of his NEW apartment that I helped him get as a reference. My wife and I are both very good friends with him. I had already left for work and he was asleep on the couch downstairs. My wife came down about an hour later and startled him. He was asleep bare on our couch. He got up, realized he was bare, and then grabbed the blanket to cover up.
We had a talk in which my wife and I both explained that you can’t sleep bare on your friend’s couch. He tried to tell us that we were being ridiculous because ‘the sheet was a good enough barrier to keep his bare body from touching the couch.’
Two weeks after he left, my wife started noticing bites on her legs. Bedbugs. He gave us freaking bedbugs. It took us MONTHS to get rid of. My wife was so stressed, she cried almost daily for a little while. We ended up getting all new living room furniture because of it.
We love the guy. He’s dopey at times and we knew that going in. We just didn’t realize how painful of a situation this would have caused. That said, he paid the exterminators for, what felt like, six months of work. He genuinely felt horrible. So, he’s not a bad guy, just dumb sometimes.”
That Is Quite A Bit Of Audacity She Had
“I got a job producing a short orientation video. I asked my videographer friend from another state if he could come to film it. He said he would if he could bring his girlfriend and stay with us.
We came home after the first day of shooting to find the girlfriend digging up plants in our yard and replacing them with other plants she had bought for us at a nursery. It was out of line but somewhat nice, so we let that one go.
The second night, after dinner, I came into my living room and saw her standing on a step stool and rearranging the vintage vases I had on a mantle in order of height. I ‘jokingly’ asked her what the heck she was doing. She said that they looked better that way. They did not. I told her to put them back the way they were. Then I reconsidered and asked her to step aside. I put them back the way they were.
My husband is a chef. He makes incredible pizza, even spending two days on the dough, San Marzano tomatoes, buffalo moz, etc. He always makes two extra pies so we have them for next-day dinner. The last night of their stay, he made pizza.
At the end of the meal, the woman said, ‘Wrap up the leftovers for me because I’m taking them with me on the plane tomorrow.’
I thought she was joking and I laughed. She got angry and snapped,
‘I mean it,’ she angrily snapped. ‘Wrap them up. I’m taking them.’
‘That’s our dinner for tomorrow,’ I replied.
‘YOU GET TO EAT THIS WAY ALL THE TIME. I’m taking that pizza with me!’
It got ugly. It was ridiculous. My poor friend jumped up, apologized for her, and ushered her out of the kitchen and up to their room. The next morning, before leaving for the airport, she stood in our kitchen with crossed arms and said she would just take two pieces with her. I said no, she would not. I opened the door and stood there, waiting for her to exit.”
His First Mistake Was Saying ‘Yes’ To Letting Him Stay
“An ex-friend and addict turned up on my doorstep needing a place to stay. I was already weary of the guy and reluctantly agreed to let him stay for three days while he found somewhere to go. My girlfriend (now wife) and I were amazed at how comfortable he made himself right from the onset. It was little things at first, such as eating all the ham in one sandwich, helping himself to the drink cupboard, just taking smokes as he pleased, and even asking for money for no particular reason. It was to feed his habit, of course.
The first night, he stayed up all night watching cable and ate the entire fridge of food, minus the vegetables. Then, he found my carton of smokes on top of the fridge and smoked two packs in one night. There was stuff strewn everywhere around the house from him going through every cupboard ‘just looking.’ All in one night.
The following morning, my wife and I had to work, but I took the day off to watch him. Things got really weird after that, if not already. He started expressing his disappointment that I stayed home for the day and that he wanted the place to himself. Then, he went on to say that he saw himself living here long term and that he would add value by looking after my townhouse while we were at work. That was literally the dog’s job.
I pretty much snapped at that point and told him he couldn’t even stay another night. I was done with this crud. I spent the next hour calling shelters and rehab clinics and found one that would take him. I packed his stuff and drove him there, almost kicking him out of the car when I pulled up. I haven’t spoken to him since.
Looking back, I think the worst part of this whole ordeal was that, at the time, I had just gotten past my own addiction. He knew this and was wanting me to relapse so I’d buy us both what he wanted. I never did relapse and am more than ten years clean now.”
Last Time She Crashes On His Couch
“I was 23 and the other two people in this story were either 23 or 22. My girlfriend at the time came to visit me with a friend so we could go bar hopping where I live. We went out and had a jolly time and came back to my place. The friend was crashing on my couch, which was no biggie for me. I try to be good host even if it’s just my couch that’s being offered. She had to leave early for work the next morning, which was a plus for me.
When I got up, I went over to the kitchen for water. She was gone, but I noticed that she left the blanket she had on the floor. I don’t like messes in my living room, so I went to pick it up. I KID YOU NOT, this girl took a freaking pee on my couch. The blanket was moist and so was the couch. I freaked out.
I yelled to my girlfriend to come over and smell the couch because I was not about to sniff to check if it was her friend’s pee or maybe just water. Sure enough, it was freaking pee. I was beyond upset. My girlfriend was trying to calm me down, but it didn’t work. The girl didn’t even apologize or acknowledge it. At the time, my girlfriend tried to say, ‘Maybe she didn’t know she peed?’
Who the heck wakes up on a wet couch and does not notice they peed? I bought a new couch and threw that one out.”
The Hoff Turned Out To Be A Hassle
“In 2011, There was a TV show called Same Name. David Hasselhoff starred in an episode with our next door neighbor named David Hasselhoff, hence the ‘same name.’ The two Davids swapped homes. Our neighbor stayed at the Hoff’s house and Hoff stayed next door for three days.
Well, Hoff’s RV driver parked his massive 45′ Motorcoach LITERALLY IN OUR YARD! Not only that, we had a new $20,000 drip emitter septic system that was crushed by the tires. There were trenches three-feet deep that they made driving out because we told them to leave our circle driveway. He refused, not only to apologize, but to pay us a single penny for our septic repairs.
Hoff also ticked off the poor neighborhood kids. He promised to get them pizza and sign autographs. Those poor kids sat outside the house all night waiting. He never showed except to run to the car and wave goodbye to them. Imbecile!”
His Dungeons and Dragons Criticism Was Only The Beginning
“I was back from college and was at home with my brother and sisters while our parents were on vacation. My brother had started a Dungeons and Dragons group with one of our old friends and a new friend nicknamed Dio. Dio seemed nice enough, at first.
When I ran a session for them, Dio complimented me on how I ran the session, but also told me that I could have done a few things better. I didn’t think too much of it at first, until he was getting ready to leave and told our other friend that he thought I did a shat job. I’m not just being petty. It got a lot worse.
My brother invited him over to stay the night once, which was fine, but Dio started getting on my nerves. First, he yelled at my sister for waking him up when she was getting ready for basketball practice in the morning. Then, when my siblings and I were cleaning to prepare for our parents coming home, he used my sister’s face rag to clean the toilet, and kept using it after she told him it was hers.
The worst came after he left. The whole house smelled like body odor. It was as if he never had a shower in his life. Then, I went into the upstairs bathroom and EVERYTHING smelled like pee. I am not exaggerating. The floor, the carpet, even the cabinet smelled like he peed on them. I had everyone else smell the bathroom and they agreed with me. I told my brother that we were never having Dio over again.”