If you think life is weird, just wait till you read these 17 strange thoughts, because the more we think about them, the weirder they get. Prepare yourself.
The brain
“My brain. Whenever I actively think about my brain…as a physical object…I start to get weirded out. The whole concept is gross. But then I realize: my brain is thinking about my brain. And my brain thinks my brain is gross. That’s weird. Then I realize: My brain thinks my brain thinking my brain is gross is weird. Then I start to get really freaked out.”
Tongues
“Tongues. What the f_ck is that all about? A weird muscle thing that lives in your mouth?! Look at them. It’s not right I tell you. Really not right.”
Eating
“Eating. You put this stuff in your head and crush it up with some bony protrusions while a mild acid begins to deteriorate it and lubricate it so I can slide down into a vat of much stronger acid inside your body to further decompose until it’s stripped of the majority of its nutrients. Then the remnants are forced through miles of your organs until it’s compressed into a shape and density that can easily pass out of your body.”
Perspective
“Get this a lot when thinking about space. So my country is pretty big, I’ve never seen all of it but I’ve been to a few places. But at the same time, from now till the moment I die I would not have traversed even 1% of the earth. And then the Earth is a speck of dust in the galaxy and our galaxy is less than that when you consider the universe. And then there’s me, on Earth, worrying about my next paycheck.”
Walking the dog
“When I take my dog for a walk without music or a friend, I often consider how weird it is that I’ve connected myself to a tiny animal with string and we’re just traveling meaninglessly together, unable to communicate, and then I take it home with me because I wanted a creature to live in my house.”
Mushrooms
“Mushrooms. There are lots of poisonous mushrooms and there are lots of nonpoisonous mushrooms. But people had to try them all to figure it out, with varying degrees of dead. Who was that desperate to add mushrooms to their diet that they didn’t just quit after someone ate one and ended up dead? They don’t supply a ton of calories; they weren’t sustaining anyone in a famine. And they don’t have an otherwise unsourcable vitamin or nutrient we require for life. Everything, except maybe cream of mushroom soup, tastes almost the same without them. What on earth drove people to feel that they were such an essential part of life that they were worth pursuing as a food source? No, not even a food source–a food accoutrement.”
Existing
“The thought of no longer thinking and no longer existing. That I’ll be just as sentient as the table I’m currently resting on at some point in the next 60 years or so. That when my eyes close for the final time I’ll enter an infinitesimally long, dreamless, emotionless, painless and thoughtless sleep, my body will degrade to nothing and any impact I’ve had on this earth will die out when those who knew me enter the same state. F_ck man, I hate it when I think about this sh_t.”
Altering the food chain
“Beef cat food. F_cking cats are eating fucking cows. Humans have really altered the food chain.”
Consciousness
“How my conscience began and why it’s me and not someone else. Basically, I didn’t exist a short 30 years ago. I had no consciousness. No thoughts. I simply was nothing. Two people have sex and conceive a child and while I’m unaware of it, my consciousness begins to form and for some reason I am able to think as me. I feel like it would only make sense as an outsider looking in at a robot being programmed and turned on. We’re not individuals. We’re objects that are given logical path-finding abilities for various actions. Yet I’m not just an object being observed. I am now something that can think. And I’ve been nothing for trillions billions of years until 30 years ago. Eventually I’ll be nothing again. Where does my consciousness come from and why is it me and not someone else? Why am I me and not you? Are we all the same person reacting to different stimuli? What the f_ck, man?”
Milk
“That as an adult it is deemed f_cking weird to drink a human’s breast milk, but to drink random animals’ breast milk is absolutely fine.”
Fan dust
“How the f_ck does dust accumulate on a fan?! it just doesn’t make any sense!”
The value of currency
“Legal tender. The only thing holding currency together is our own confidence that it works.”
Photography
“That our idea of what the past looks like primarily comes from film quality. It’s why colorized photos are so fascinating, they leap that gap of ‘it’s a black and white picture so it must’ve happened a zillion years ago.’ And now that consumer cameras within the last 5 years are super high quality and may not get recognizably better, almost all pictures are going to have roughly the same level of quality from here on out. Someone born in 2013 will look at baby pictures of themselves in 30 years and it’ll look like they were taken yesterday. Hell, without obvious cues of what year it is, a picture from 2011 will look indistinguishable from a picture in 2111. I’ve thought about this a lot.”
Toy dolls
“That when I was a kid, the #1 toy a girl could wish for was a doll that would routinely piss itself.”
Pets
“Owning a pet. Essentially you have taken this animal from their mother and have kept them against their will but they have developed Stockholm syndrome to the point that they love you.”
Internet people
“Every stranger you’ve ever met, glanced at, or even interacted with over the internet over the course of your entire life is either still out there leading a life as complicated and vivid as your own or, well, dead already.”
The spelling of “Berenstain Bears”
“I truly, and I mean TRULY, believe it used to be Berenstein Bears. Even my MOM, who is a functioning adult remembers it being spelt Berenstein, rather than Berenstain. I don’t believe it to be out of error either. It had to have been changed. Had to have been.”