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'You Guessed It!'
'You Guessed It!'

"I was really into a girl in college. She was in and out of a relationship with some dude at the time. We were hanging out one night, and her dude was a jerk. Long story short, she ended up staying at my place that night. I didn't make a move though because I was not trying to be a rebound. She got up early and left for work, and I woke up later to a text from a friend asking how it went.

'I'm really into her, but she's wrapped up with some other dude, and I'm not trying to be a rebound.'

Aaaaaaand you guessed it, sent it to the girl.

I got married two weeks ago, and I married her.

That misfired text happened five years ago. She replied something like 'I don't think that was meant for me but I'm stoked I got it,' and the rest was history."

A Rockstar
A Rockstar

"I texted a YouTube video of a guy doing one-armed push-ups to my boss who lost his arm in a biking accident.

It was supposed to go to my girlfriend (now fiancée).

He was a good sport about it though, he said, 'Well, I'm going to have to try that out, thanks.' He laughed about it for a while and said that everybody had always avoided talking about his arm and he was a great guy.

He also ran a half marathon with my fiancée and me. He's a rockstar."

Gentleman Veggies Anyone?
Gentleman Veggies Anyone?

"My wife sent me a text message asking what I wanted for dinner.

I had forgotten that we were having the family over for dinner that night. I sent her a picture of my gentleman veggies and asked her if she wanted that for dinner. I sent it to her entire family because I neglected to see it was a group text. I thought about driving into oncoming traffic that night on my way home from work."

See, What Had Happened
See, What Had Happened

"A friend of mine had just finished up a very messy divorce, and that is where this story begins. Essentially his then-wife had gone to the cell phone company and wanted to see his texting records, looking for evidence of him cheating on her. For whatever reason, she decided to lie to the employee helping her and say that the phone number she wanted the record for was her son's, who she thought was doing some pretty dangerous stuff and thus she wanted proof. The employee obliges and prints off the record for the past three months and says that they would continue to monitor her 'son's' account.

A few weeks passed, and she decided that they could work out their differences. To entice my friend to come back home, she sent him a couple of racy pictures.

Two days later she got a call from the cell phone company asking her to come into the local store. She went to the store and up to the counter and lets them know why she came in. The girl at the counter said that she'd have to get the manager. Soon the manager came out and asked her to come to his office in the back of the store. Once they were in the office with the door closed, he said to her, 'Miss. Before I call the police, would you care to explain to me why you've been sending nude photos of yourself to your son?'"

(Sometimes) The Truth Hurts
(Sometimes) The Truth Hurts

"A good buddy of mine told me this story.

His wife went through this phase where she wanted to send naughty photos a couple of times a day. She would try to get him to text her a picture of his junk every day for about a week. He kept saying no, he wasn't comfortable with doing that.

Finally, he broke down, and he ended up sending a pic of his junk to his black buddy's girlfriend. He immediately realized it and texted her saying how sorry he was and it was supposed to go to his wife. He then texted his buddy (who, keep in mind is black) that he was sorry and didn't mean to send his private to his girlfriend.

His buddy replied back, 'Yeah, I already heard about it. No worries. That picture wasn't anything for me to worry about'. To which he replied 'Hold up, what do you mean it was nothing for you to worry about? Are you saying I have a small piece?' To which his buddy replied, 'I'm not saying that. I'm just saying I've seen bigger. Like, every day. If you know what I mean.'"

The Wrong Woman
The Wrong Woman

"I intended to send 'I Love You' to my girlfriend of 18 months. I accidentally sent it to the ex-wife.

You may be thinking, 'Why do you still have your ex-wife's number anyway?'

The answer is twofold. First, we share a daughter, so we have to communicate pickup and dropoff times, etc.

And secondly, no law says you're obligated to hate your ex-spouse. Sure, it's common to 'hate the female dog' and have venomous interactions with her forever. But that's not always the case. We're civil. We're not best friends for life, but we're civil, and we are grown up enough to realize that it just didn't work, so we decided to be mature and move on."

It Happens
It Happens

"I sent a private part picture to a guy I was doing a group assignment with, with the caption 'thoughts?'

It could have been so so awkward, but he was a champ.

'Oh my God, I am so sorry, that was obviously NOT meant for you.'

'Haha, it happens. For a minute I thought it was you trying to exchange it for a lightened workload."

Thank You Sir!
Thank You Sir!

"I was exhausted and bored at work one rainy day, so I texted my girlfriend (at the time): 'I just want hot chocolate and snuggles.'

A few weeks later I needed to text my boss about a meeting when I noticed the last text I sent him said: 'I just want hot chocolate and snuggles.'

I went in and copped to it, but he played dumb and pretended like it never happened."

Basic Troubleshooting
Basic Troubleshooting

"I bought two Xbox 360's for $20, from a guy on Craigslist.

He advertised them as 'broken.'

He never plugged the A/V cable all the way in to allow the console to cut on properly.

I meant to send my mom a text, telling her about a good deal I just got, and how stupid the owner of them was but whoops.

If you can't figure out some basic troubleshooting, it's not on me."

Meet Bernard Jr.
Meet Bernard Jr.

"Once I texted my wife's mother, and it read...'So no BJ tonight?'

I had to explain to her that BJ was one of our friends 'Bernard Jr.' and he was supposed to come over for dinner but my wife informed me that he would not be joining us.

And that my friends were the most epic fail and recovery ever!"

The Magic...Finger
The Magic...Finger

"I had been talking to a girl for a few weeks. We weren't dating, just flirting, etc. We hadn't done the deed, but we had fooled around a bit. Anyways, I was texting her at the same time that I was texting my buddy. My texts to her were:

Me: Hey, I had a good time last night! Let's do it again soon.
Me: I've only used my finger in her so far, ain't that something.
Me: Holy crap. That wasn't meant for you.
Me: This is awkward."

That Poor Landlord
That Poor Landlord

"I share everything with my sister.

The text went something like this: What the heck, I just found a thick black chest hair. How did I never notice this before?

About 10 minutes later I looked at my phone again to see if she had responded, and realized I sent it in the group chat for my roommate and my landlord.

My roommate only responded with 'What' and dropped the subject. My landlord responded with 'Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.' He recently sold the house, and I have new landlords, so I'll never have to face him again."

That's What Friends Are For
That's What Friends Are For

"'Sorry for late reply, I was touching myself to you in the shower.'

That was the text I sent while being casual physically suggestive with my then boyfriend.

Or my incredibly shy and innocent female friend. Whatever."

What A Treat
What A Treat

"My iPhone auto-corrected 'Benihana' to say 'balls.'

So when my parents asked me what I was doing for my birthday (two years ago today), I sent them this text:

'Emilie is treating me to balls. She's never done it, and it's a dinner and a show!'"

Very Odd
Very Odd

"I once got this text from my boss: 'I HOPE U FREAKING DIE!'

I knew I wasn't the intended recipient (and she later sheepishly explained that I'm right next to her ex-husband in her contacts) but I was surprised that it still packed an emotional wallop. Like on an intellectual level I could be like, 'this obviously has nothing to do with me,' but on an emotional level I still felt like 'oh man, why is she yelling at me?'

It was a very odd, very modern experience."

Cardiac Arrest
Cardiac Arrest

"We use Jabber messaging at work, and a co-worker was writing about a new anime he was watching. The little thing popped up on the bottom right that tells you when someone sent you a message, I clicked it and typed 'Shut up fool, nobody cares,' ENTER.

The chat app didn't feel like switching to my co-worker's chat window. The afore-mentioned response was sent to a government official, who was one of our customers and was explaining a problem he was having with one of our programs to me.

I didn't even realize that I sent him this message for another 30 minutes or so and he stopped writing during this time. I almost had a heart attack when I finally saw what I had done.

Although, the aftermath was anti-climactic. Sorry to disappoint. I apologized and told him that that response was meant for someone else and he said: 'That's what I thought.'

This incident happened months ago, and I'm still working with this guy."

'My Girlfriend Is A Nurse'
'My Girlfriend Is A Nurse'

"I sent, 'I have diarrhea, and it smells like a corpse. It looks yellow and doesn't seem to have anything floating in it', to my girlfriend (of a month's) mother that I hadn't met in person yet. I had her number from my girlfriend to wish her a happy birthday (she thought, it would give a good impression).

Well, why did I send that to her? I was ill and having belly aches. My girlfriend is an ER nurse, and she asked me how my bowel movement was. Both their names start with the same letters.

I got a reply. She told me to contact my girlfriend. She would know what to do."

Mark Not Mom
Mark Not Mom

"I got kicked out of a nightclub for being what the bouncers deemed as 'too gone.' Anyway, in the face of such injustice, I went to text my friend.

Although, it wasn't as grammatically correct at the time the text pretty much said: 'What the heck, I can't believe they kicked me out! That girl wanted me.'

I went to send it to my friend 'Mark' who is dangerously close to 'Mum' in my contact list. Yep, you know what happened next.

I texted her the next day saying I gave my phone to a friend to use because his was broken, but we both knew."

The Top Of The Text List
The Top Of The Text List

"A few months back my wife and I were going out to dinner with a few of her friends. The night before a very dear friend of mine gave birth to twins and was still in the hospital. I'd congratulated her earlier that morning. I got home that evening, before my wife, and decided to text my wife and ask her what she was wearing to the dinner to see how nice I needed to dress.

I did not check the name of the person I was texting because I usually talk to my wife more than anyone else. My friend called me laughing asking why I wanted to know what she was wearing. She claimed that, though hospital gowns leave little to the imagination, that they certainly aren't attractive. To make matters worse her husband had already been threatened by her and me being friends. He was the first to read the text.

Sadly, we haven't spoken since."

Nothing Left To Say
Nothing Left To Say

"UGH. So I was torn up about breaking up with my (at the time) girlfriend. We were friends for years, and I didn't want to hurt her. I texted my mother who was coming out to visit, about it.

She texted 'Do you think you'll still be with her by the time I come out there?'

In a freaking horror story type fashion, my finger hits the text to speech button, and the jerk robot read every word loud and enunciated, with conviction. I just looked at my girlfriend who was like 'what the heck was that?'

Dear God, I don't even remember how I talked my way out of it. I think we both just knew, and there was nothing to say."

The Bro Code
The Bro Code

"'How does your lady bit feel baby?'

I sent that to my stepsister at 2 a.m., and it was meant for my girlfriend at the time. It was a big deal because I came from a strict 'no physical intimacy until marriage' family.

I covered it with, 'OMG, I AM SO SORRY! That was meant for *male friend's name - I shot him yesterday in the junk paintballing!'

Her response was, 'OMG THATS SOOOO FUNNY! Tell him I said hi!'

She had to have known, but my story checked out because I had been paintballing the day prior and I texted my friend telling him to update his Facebook saying that his junk hurt from where I shot him. He did."

Oh Lord!
Oh Lord!

"I upgraded to my first smartphone and didn't realize that when you replied to a message, it responded to everyone in the chain.

My friend sent me a group text saying 'This is [his name]. This is my new number. Save it'.

I responded 'Screw you and your got dang new number!'

Then I noticed that the message had other people's names in the preview. So I opened the message again and said 'I think this just replied to everyone. Jesus!'

Then I was sure it was sending to everyone because a mutual friend texted me laughing about it. Then my friend called me and was giving me crap about it and let me know that one of the people I replied to was his preacher."

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