Everyone goes out to have a good time, but sometimes things don't go according to plan. Sometimes people lose themselves drinking too much and fights, stupid stunts, and chaos ensues. These stories show that even if your night ends terribly, at least it'll make for a funny/interesting story!
‘Help Yourself’ To A Guilt Trip
“My wife’s aunt and uncle invited us to their campground for a 4th of July BBQ. We arrive and her cousin offers us a drink from a cooler. Says, ‘Help yourself.’ His uncle shows up from fishing about 45 minutes later, see us drinking and makes a comment about us drinking ‘his’ stuff. Now, we had asked what we needed to bring and were told nothing that they had ‘more than enough of everything.’ 10 minutes later the uncle makes another comment about us drinking and then says he is just kidding. I get up to walk down to the creek and overhear him talking to another guy about how he couldn’t believe we wouldn’t show up with anything and drink his beverages. At this point, I get in the car and go to the store up the road to buy some.
When I get back the aunt says, ‘I hope hotdogs are good enough for you because that’s all I am making.'”
This Woman Made Expensive Reservations For Literally Nothing
“My boyfriend was going to be in a wedding and I got invited to go to the bachelorette party (even though I didn’t know the bride too well). After being invited, making the dinner reservation became my responsibility. I ask the bride how many people (12) and booked a big table at the most popular restaurant in our town for Saturday night, even had to pull some strings with my friends that worked there for us to get the table. Show up to the dinner, and the bride had decorated the table herself. Only me and one other person showed up. After about twenty minutes the restaurant informed us that they were going to start seating people at our table if the rest of the party didn’t show up. I just sat there and started drinking. Turns out she didn’t have too many friends and the ones that had said they would show didn’t. It was awkward and sad and ended up having random strangers sitting at a decorated table.”
His Polite Ways Got Him Into The Most Awkward Party Situation Yet
“So I am a fairly nice person. My parents tried really hard, and succeeded, to ensure that my siblings and I treat everyone with respect and kindness. This is a great thing and I am happy that I was raised this way, unfortunately, it can also lead to some fairly weird circumstances.
I have been several people’s ‘Best Friend’ just because I showed them some basic politeness. This statement is both true and sad. Evidently, everyone is such a jerk that all I had to do was listen politely and pretend laugh to fill their friendless void.
I had a class with a kid, Muhammad (Mo), who was a nice guy, pretty shy and pretty foreign. We would occasionally talk about whatever, shooting the breeze and whatnot. His birthday rolls around and I get an invite to the party. I’m thinking, ‘Cool, show up, handoff card, mingle for like thirty and bounce.’
Night of the party I knock on the door, go in and… it’s me. I am the party. And his parents, who have ‘Heard so much about me,’ and are ‘So glad Muhammad and I have become such good friends.’
Now I am trying to talk to these (very nice) people who believe their son and I are one step away from being best men at each others wedding. And Mo was partying so hard he couldn’t really talk. Oh, did I not mention that? Yeah, a quarter of the party was pretty much gone on the couch, apparently feeling too good to interact. His parents didn’t really mention it, which made everything more surreal.
They brought out the food, which was freaking delicious, I would almost go through it again just to eat that food again.
Then the best part: We watched Mo’s sister’s wedding, the crappy VHS of a too long wedding ceremony, the whole thing, it was like an hour long. It was also all in Urdu, I assume, and all painfully narrated by Mo’s dad.
I bowed out after about two hours. Easily the most awkward thing I have ever experienced.”
This Poor Man Received The Worst Possible Gift On His Birthday
“When I was in high school I went to a good friend’s 17th birthday. The party was kind of a guise because he wanted to be around a girl that he liked. He never liked throwing parties so this was the first birthday of his I ever attended despite knowing him since the 3rd grade. Around 30 people attended the party and most of his guy friends there knew about his feelings for her.
Anyway, the party was going great, everyone was having a great time and the birthday boy got to spend a lot of time with this girl he liked. He was so happy, it was the happiest I had ever seen him. The girl even got him a birthday cake (he later told me it was the first birthday cake he ever had).
After the birthday song and cake, he started opening the presents. Most of the presents were just normal boring stuff but the birthday boy was really appreciative until it came time to open the present from the girl who he liked.
It was very flat and wrapped very nicely so I thought it was a picture frame. Once he removed the gift wrap it turned out to be a book. It wasn’t just any book though, I think it was titled ‘Good Friends’. It was a picture book with common quotes about friendship.
Being so young I never knew what the look of a guy with a broken heart looked like but I think his expression at that moment was it. He was so devastated which contrasted his earlier mood during the day. I don’t know if it was deliberate but she then for some reason thought it was a good idea to read the dang book for him in front of everyone. All the girls there thought it was, ‘Awwww, so cute,’ but us guys knew how brutal it was.
As she was reading the book, going through each quote, all I could think of was how devastating it must have been for him and how brave it was of him to sit there and listen. He had a blank expression but maintained a forced smile as she continued reading. I think she almost got to the end (it took a while because she had to stop and show us the pictures) before he his eyes started to well up and he stormed out. I tried to go after him but his older brother stopped me and said we should leave him alone. There was dead silence in the room and the girl began to cry which made things even more awkward.
He didn’t return to the party although we later found out he was safe.”
This Group Of Friends’ Night Took A Turn After One Guy’s Not So Bright Idea
“I remember the night well because I was the Designated Driver for the night. Me and three friends hung out at one of their houses for a few hours, they all had a few drinks and one of my friends decided he wanted to eat the ‘goodies’ he had been saving for later. After he was on his space adventure, another guy got word that a friend of his was having a ‘party’ and we should all come over. I was sober so I didn’t really care and seeing new faces sounded like a good idea.
This was not the case…
We arrived at the ‘party,’ he should have called it what it was, a domestic disturbance. The host’s girlfriend was throwing a tantrum and was throwing things around the room. The host was partying so hard he barely recognized my friend. We knew almost no one at the party and they all had no idea who these 4 random guys were, one of whom was flying higher than Icarus. One of the guys at the party recognized a friend of mine and started talking about a guy who had caused him some kind of trouble and wanted to beat up my friend because of it.
We promptly left.”
This Literature Lesson Is Starting To Get Pretty Smelly
“One of my best friends back in college was possibly the coolest person I have ever know. A rugby-playing D&D freak who studied molecular biology. I feel compelled to include a physical description to properly set the tableau. He is around my height of six foot four and probably weighed in around 250. Big dude. But for being a rugby playing giant, he is a gentle, literature-loving giant. You will see how much he loves literature.
So I used to live with him at a house my roommates and I called ‘Helen Keller’ because it was just messed up in every way. Nothing worked right and we generally trashed the place. But we threw parties, righteous parties with 40 party die-hard 21-year-olds singing Mika’s ‘Grace Kelly’ at the top of their lungs at two in the morning.
One particular party stands out. It was around midnight and everyone was fairly lubricated. My buddy, who we will call Hank, was too. Most of us were doing pretty well, but Hank was close to gone. I was keeping a half an eye on him as he tried to strike up conversations with girls. His go-to topic was literature because he knew it well. So he wrangles a girl into talking to him and at some point, they start talking about ‘All’s Quiet on The Western Front.’
Now, Hank really loves that book with a fiery passion. And evidently, this girl was not really into it. She said it was your typical man war brotherhood fantasy crap and Hank would have none of it. He started talking about the passage in the book where Remarque speaks of taking poops in an open field with your friends, chatting and reading as you do your business. Hank sloppily explained how beautiful it was, that war had made them so close. She thought the scene was disgusting. With a loud, almost party stopping cry of, ‘I’LL FREAKING SHOW YOU,’ Hank left the room.
When he returned he was carrying newspapers and one of those woven, cheap lawn chairs. I saw where it was going pretty quickly and got, I will totally admit it, really excited. Hank throws the newspapers down and proceeds to attempt to cut a hole through the woven seat part of the chair. When he deemed the hole large enough, he put the chair down on the newspapers. A small crowd of partygoers had gathered by this point, wondering (naturally) what in the world was going on. The whole time he is cutting and setting up, Hank maintained a running commentary on the horrors of WWI and the beauty of Mr. Remarque’s prose.
With his nylon throne ready, Hank surprised us by stripping down, totally. This part I have no great explanation for, aside from his comment the next day. ‘If you are gonna poop in front of a room of people, you may as well get naked,’ which has a certain strange logic to it. So my bare naked friend then sits in his chair and tries to poop. Nothing is happening, except that he starts peeing all down the front of himself, just all over. He is grabbing his area to try to stop the pee, but just ends up getting pee all over his hand.
There are now about twenty people standing around, watching Hank attempt to poo. The whole time he is sitting there peeing on himself, his free hand is pointed at the girl he was talking to and his commentary HAS NOT FREAKING CEASED. He gave a dang verbal thesis on this book as he sat there and as he built himself up to his finale, I’m not joking, as he was finishing, A PERFECT TURD falls from his butt to the newspaper. Everyone cheered like crazy except for the girl he was talking to, she bounced.
Then Hank went into the corner and tried to put his sweatshirt on as pants, tripped and fell. We carried him into the bathroom, washed him as best we could then put him to bed. A hero. There were pictures, but the camera got stolen out of my apartment the next day by hobos before the place got demolished, which is a whole ‘nother story unto itself. Anywho, that is the tale of the Party Pooper. Ever since then ‘All’s Quiet on The Western Front’ has held a soft spot in my heart.”
This Kid Looked Across The Bowling Alley At His Birthday Party And Things Got Super Awkward
“My birthday party in third grade was at the bowling alley. My parents weren’t the richest so I only could invite a few of my close friends. The same day an hour earlier a kid in my class has his birthday party but his parents shelled out enough to invite my whole 3rd-grade class. So there I was on my birthday getting death stares from 3 lanes down from all the kids I couldn’t invite to my party. And he had the deluxe package too so they all got to play in the arcade.”
Sometimes Small Talk Doesn’t Work On Everyone
“I went to a friend’s birthday party a couple of years ago and I didn’t know anyone besides the birthday girl and her boyfriend, who happened to be a physics grad student.
Just to set the scene a little bit, on my way in to grab a drink, I passed a large group of people in the dining room drawing frantically on a whiteboard and arguing about science-y things, which is fine, you do you.
Anyway, someone put out a thing of cookies and this guy was just like, ‘Oh cookies, I like to get mine from the internet.’ I barely knew anyone at this party, so I figured why not, I might as well try to talk to this guy and very earnestly I asked, ‘Oh where do you get your cookies? Is it like a special bakery or do you just get like chips ahoy from Fresh Direct?’ And he just looked at me and said, ‘I meant like cookies you get from websites…’ and slinked away.
A couple of drinks and far less awkward encounters later, I wind up talking to cookies kid again. We made some small talk, meaning I asked him a bunch of questions. Eventually, I asked him how he knew the hosts of the party – he was in the juggling club with them. My follow-up question was along the lines of, ‘How’d you get into juggling, were all your friends into it or were you like the only one who could do it and they were all astounded by your skills?’ He then proceeds to tell me that everyone loved his juggling, he’d walk into the cafeteria and people would scream his name until he juggled a little for him. I was just like, ‘Oh, that’s awesome, that must’ve been so cool for you!’ And he was just like, ‘That’s not true, I was actually home-schooled.’ Keep in mind, I’ve been asking him questions for a good 10 minutes and doing my best to talk to someone and keep it upbeat, and when he said that, I just didn’t have it in me anymore. I just said, ‘Oh that’s cool.’ He takes a beat, pulls out his phone, flips it open (I can see the phone isn’t even on) and says, ‘Oh, I have to go.’ Slams the phone closed and ran straight out the front door.”
This Party Became A Quick In And Out For These Party-Goers
“A group of friends and I once showed up to a party, walked in a single file line through the front door, into the living room, then through the kitchen and right out the back door. There really wasn’t much happening, and nothing that made the party itself awkward, but I am sure it was a little awkward to those at the party to see a group of twelve people walk into, through, and immediately out of the house and never return.”
This Toothingachingly Awkward Party Will Make You Thankful For Your Birthdays
“On my 17th birthday, I was crazy excited because it’s the one day a year that the majority of my family at least pretend to like me and I got to pick dinner for that night. Since it’s in the summer, I went with ribs and baked potatoes (how can you go wrong, right?). As said, I was excited and talking about my day with my ex when my stepmom came in to tell me she set my wisdom teeth removal date for three days before my birthday. The rib racks were already bought and marinating, so it was too late to change anything.
The day came and everyone sat around the table, talking, laughing, and digging into (what I’m sure were) delicious ribs. Yet there I sat, feebly attempting to cut the meat from the bone to try to chew with my front teeth. No one noticed/cared/offered to help, the ex included, and I started to tear up a bit out of pain and frustration. Instead of comfort, I got scolded for disrespecting the dinner that my dad slaved over just for me.
They also canceled the plans I had with my friends for the next day without telling me because they figured I wouldn’t want to go anywhere. My friends didn’t try to check in on me or anything. Saw them a week or so later and not a single ‘Happy Birthday’ was mentioned.”
Things Get Awkward When This Man Tries To Relive His Glory Days
“I remember the awkward horror of my high school play’s aftershow party (I was stage manager). It started out great, everyone who showed up had been working on the play for months, so we had learned how to have a good time together. So we’re about 20 high school kids crammed into one guy’s living room, watching a crappy recording of the last performance, when the doorbell rings. Some geniuses had decided to invite the drama teacher/director of the play and he had actually shown up. This guy was a temp on a 1-year contract, probably late thirties, and he always gave off a bit of a lonely, ‘clinging to the old days’ vibe, joking with the actors about other teachers, inappropriate subjects, etc. Anyway, he sits down on the floor in the middle of all these students, we keep watching the performance, but most conversation besides the actors calling out their lines pretty much dies down. It was painfully obvious that he had known he was getting himself into an awkward situation, and that about 30 microseconds after he sat down, realized it was worse than he could have imagined. Came up with an excuse and left after less than half an hour later. Poor guy, but we all managed to laugh about it after he’d left.”
Never Have I Ever…?
“I was in a very small program in university. One year the ‘weird guy’ of the program invited everyone to his tiny apartment for his birthday party, and about 8 people showed up.
That wasn’t the awkward part though. Very recently, one guy’s girlfriend of 4 years had broken up with him to date his ‘friend,’ all three of whom were in the small program. To make things weirder, the ‘friend’s’ ex-girlfriend had started fooling around with the original guy. All four of these people showed up to this birthday party, which was as I said, around 8 people in a tiny apartment.
Someone had the brilliant idea to play Never Have I Ever and thus began maybe the most awkward experience of my life as everyone got way too out of it to try to ignore the fact that these people were all talking about messing around with each other to their VERY fresh exes and SO’s.
I feel bad for the guy whose birthday it was…”
These Girls Tried To Holla Holla At Ja Rule But…
“When in college in the early 2000’s, my BFF and I were working as waitresses at a bar on the night of a JaRule concert. Towards the end of our shift, we were approached by an older, velour-suited, bejeweled gentleman, who gave us fliers and invited us to JaRule’s ‘exclusive’ after-party at the hotel across the street. ‘Don’t tell anyone,’ he warned, ‘I only have a few invites to give!’
He left and said he’d see us later. We told our manager who let us punch out early as long as we let him know where the party was at.
So we arrive at the room number on the invite. The only people in the room are velour suit man and a guy our age. They offer us drinks. We ask ‘Where is Ja?’ And they assure us they are going to pick him up as soon as he calls. In the meantime, the old guy turns on his boom box and starts gyrating and snapping to Purple Rain while belting out the chorus. We all just sit and try not to look directly at him. He then pretends his phone rings and goes into the other room to have a ‘convo’ with JaRule. He then comes back to the room where we’re putting our coats on. He holds up a set of keys with a Toyota emblem and asks, ‘Hey dawg, I gotta go pick up Ja, ARE THESE THE KEYS TO THE RANGE ROVER?!’
All 3 of us bust out laughing. The old guy starts cursing us out and trying to make us drink some drinks he mixed in the other room as my BFF and I push past him and run down the hall. We get to the elevator. The doors open and…
out steps our manager from the bar, with a sharpie in one hand and his entire collection of JaRule CDs in the other. ‘Did you meet him?! Was he cool?!’
That was probably the most awkward party we’ve been to, and the stupidest decision we’ve ever made.”
This Man Is Ashamed He Even Attempted To Throw A New Year’s Eve Bash
“I managed to alienate a large portion of my friends in college but decided to throw a ’70s-themed New Years Eve party anyway. I bought a ton of drinks, bought some ridiculous clothes from Goodwill, and expected it to be a good time.
Less than a dozen people showed up, and it was uncomfortable the entire time. Only about half the people knew it was ’70s themed, so anyone dressed up looked like an idiot, particularly me. I tried to get things going by breaking out the limbo stick. People reluctantly participated, I think mainly so they wouldn’t be watching Dick Clark on TV–the only other entertainment. The party was dead, even I didn’t want to be there, but because it was a NYE party, people felt obligated to stay until midnight.
At about 10 pm, I realized no one else was coming. I started drinking heavily and got indefensibly out of control. I was dropping full bottles and lit fireworks off my balcony, where my neighbors were also having a party (I wasn’t trying to hit anyone, but I don’t know what the heck I was thinking).
Sometime after midnight–no idea when the whole thing is a blur–one of my neighbors walked into my apartment. I came out of the bathroom to find a guy screaming at my few remaining friends as they sat on my couch. He was angry about the fireworks and bottles, obviously, and was threatening to beat the crap out of whoever had done it.
At this point, I was so out of it I could barely stand, much less fight, so I took a swing at him. I missed completely, and he immediately knocked me to the floor and started giving me a well-deserved beating. Fortunately, one of my friends was my old Tae Kwon Do instructor, and he pried the guy off of me and made him leave.
That was the last party I ever threw. It was ten years ago, and thinking about it even today still makes me feel ashamed and bums me out.”
This Party Literally Stank
“About a month ago, I was working at the front desk of my apartment complex (college campus) and a girl, who had acne that covered a majority of her face, that I barely talk to, came up to me and tried to start a conversation. About halfway through, she mentioned a party that she was hosting later that night. She asked me if I would like to come to the party, which at first I denied, mainly because I did not know her that well. Then, she told me that the party would have free pizza and drinks. Being a poor college student, I accepted her offer. Later that night, my roommate and I went over to her apartment to hang around, converse with others, drink, and have a good time. Man, what a mistake that was. When we went into the room, there were small scattered groups of people, maybe totaling ten people. The ‘drinks’ she mentioned was a fifth of a bottle, which nobody drank because apparently most of the people there were straight edge. So, I sat on the couch with my roommate, trying to talk to people that seemed nice. Unfortunately, most were socially awkward and did not like to talk, so I just sat in silence, praying that the party would not get any worse. Of course, the girl that hosted the party thought it would be hilarious to just let out huge, strained farts. Real, actual, disgusting farts. Every single person in the room was uncomfortable. My roommate and I glanced at each other and shared a look of discomfort, screaming that we both wanted to leave. Quickly, we both stood up, I told them that I had to go finish some homework (horrible excuse), said our goodbyes, exited the room, and never looked back.”
Who Let The Dog Out?
“It was a joint birthday party I had with a friend. It was absolutely packed and as someone who gets pretty nervous in busy social situations, I drank a lot in order to calm my nerves so I was absolutely trashed pretty much before anyone even arrived. Meanwhile my dog, who had bowel cancer and so got diarrhea a lot (especially when agitated) was upstairs in a room with my younger brother and friends. Somehow amidst the crazy that was my house, the dog got free from the room and proceeded to poop EVERYWHERE, and I mean freaking everywhere. My house is almost entirely covered in cream carpets, and given the sheer amount of people drinking, it managed to spread everywhere and it stank like satan’s butt. All heck broke loose and I was found hysterically laughing attempting to clean the poop with a wet wipe. In the end, we had to get a lot of the carpets replaced, and I was banned from ever having a party in the house again.”
This Girl’s Party Went Under A Serious Lockdown Because…
“So I got invited to a party by some friends, didn’t know the girl who was hosting. It was already awkward when I got there. They were trying to be quiet because the girl’s parents were home and that kinda killed the vibe immediately. Eventually, a crap ton of people that she didn’t know turned up, the place got packed and it all got loud as you’d expect, and then her mom came in and started yelling at everyone. Later on, some other girl lost her phone and the parents literally locked everyone in the house. Random people kept getting accused, I had to turn out my pockets to get them to leave me alone and about 45 minutes later it turned out it fell out of her pocket when she went to the toilet. Soon as the imprisonment ended, everyone was immediately out of there.”
This Sorority Party Had The Strangest Treats Ever
“One of my best friends joined a sorority when she started university (I am a guy). One night I was looking for something to do and gave her a text. She told me she was having a party with her sorority girls at her place. Images from movies started playing in my mind. This was going to be a WILD night.
I called up another friend of mine and we made our way to the house. When we arrived it seemed a little bit odd. There was no drinks, not too many girls, and just sad faces all around. ‘OK,’ I thought, ‘Maybe we’re here early.’ So I just started to hang in the corner of a room waiting for more people to show up. No one came but my friend suggested everyone goes to the corner store. I offered to watch the house as they went to get what I presumed to be drinks. They all left and, although disappointed, was excited to get some drinks in me.
Upon their return, they all dumped bags full of candy on a table and one roasted chicken. All of the girls just talked amongst themselves at the table while one larger girl ate the entire roasted chicken to herself – I walked home with my friend.”