There are many different reasons why some close friendships enter their final chapter. As we naturally grow up and change, this sometimes means we grow apart from those that at one point we couldn't even imagine our lives without. Other times, a friend might betray us in ways that are almost impossible to forgive. Take a look at these people's accounts of the traumatic moments their 'friends' destroyed their friendship.
Some Best Friend…
“A good friend from high school came back into my life through Facebook a few years ago. We reconnected and became inseparable, watching movies and playing video games every weekend. Our kids became close friends as well. One night I was watching TV with my wife of 20 years and he started texting my wife. He said he had a problem and needed her help with. She met with him and he confessed he loved her and watched her all the time. He had several candid pics on his phone of her (mostly from behind) he showed her to ‘prove his love.’ He said he’d take better care of her than I did. She was disgusted and left to tell me immediately. I called him to discuss it but he wouldn’t answer. It’s been 3 years and he hasn’t contacted our family. Lifelong friendship ruined.”
She Was Unable To Accept The Truth
“I was 18 and I was drinking at my best friend’s house because I thought it was a safe place to do so. She was 20 and her boyfriend was 21. Her dad was cool with it ‘as long as you are being safe and not driving home, but kids will be kids.’ So me, my friend, her boyfriend, two other female friends, and her dad were partying together. I was the youngest I ended up vomiting all over their bathroom and passing out on their futon. At around 3 am, her boyfriend snuck out of her room and took advantage of me in the living room, literally right outside her bedroom. I wasn’t in the right state to fight back and I barely remember, but I remembered enough to wake up in the morning, crawl into her room, and timidly accuse him in front of her. She believed him. Friendship ruined. About 2 years later, he admitted to it and they split up and she still hasn’t spoken to me. It’s been 4 years.”
“I would’ve done anything for my best friend. Around Christmas one year he asked me to borrow my car for a while as a Christmas gift; a shiny 1998 Toyota supra, which was one of his dream cars. I even built that car from the ground up, every bolt and nut and panel had my hands on it. There was 10,000 bucks poured into this car and thousand man hours I put into its creation. But of course, I let him borrow it. Before this, my girlfriend and I had been fighting about me not spending enough time with her, saying I was spending more time with the car than with her. I was a kid then, I didn’t think about her and instead, I thought about myself. I told her to get out and to not come back.
Fast-forward to when I lent him the car, I didn’t see him for a while and then on New Year’s Day I got a knock at my door. It’s the cops and I’m told I’m under arrest. There was a crash on the freeway and they wanted to know why I ran from the scene. I obviously had no idea what they were talking about. They yelled at me, claiming that I did it. They not only discovered that it wasn’t my blood in the car, but that I didn’t have one scratch on me; it was my friend who was driving. I then had to sit there as they told me there was a woman in the passenger seat and they asked if I knew who it was. Upon discovering who it was, I was catatonic, I actually had to be sedated. I screamed her name, that’s all they told me that I kept screaming her name. My best friend of two years who was borrowing my car and crashed it around Christmas time ended up killing my ex-girlfriend and 3 other people on the freeway and then running from the scene of the crime.
The whole thing completely changed my life. I lost my shop, I lost my cars, I just lost my way and I wandered for 5 years, was even homeless. Finally, I was tired of just being and ended up working in the middle of nowhere. I found the love of my life, I’ve moved 3000 miles away from this mess and my life is different but better because I’m no longer a hallow person looking for something. Also, I haven’t heard nor seen from my old ‘friend’ since, and I hope I never do.”
“My best friend Andrew was going through a bad time with the woman he was living with and they split up. I offered to take him on a snowsports holiday and he accepted. Since I knew he was struggling for money, I paid for his place, lift passes, and food; basically, everything was paid for and all he had to do was get there. I get a call a few weeks before we’re going and he says he can’t make it. He explains he has too much work because his workers at the building and home improvement business he ran had let him down. I told him it was okay and I went away on holiday. While I’m away, he posts pictures of himself snowboarding in Bulgaria with the workers who had apparently had let him down, saying ‘Snowboarding with my mates.’ He’d rather go with his workers than the person who met him at 12 years old, who was his best man at his wedding, who protected him at school and beyond, who lent him money, who picked up his stuff when he got divorced, and who knew him for over 3 decades. That was the moment I stopped caring for him and refused to speak to him since. He attempted to contact me a few months after when he thought things would have blown over and I still refused to talk to him. Everyone knows that I’m not interested in wasting my life worrying about him.”
“My Best Friend Called The Day Before Our Wedding…”
“My best friend was supposed to be my best man. We were childhood friends and had been through a lot together. Our friendship managed to last through him moving away, me moving away, etc. My wife and I had a destination wedding; our flights and rooms were both booked. We did it right, even got the airlines to give us coupon codes to make it easier for guests. No one in the wedding party paid for their room, neither did family – my wife and I paid for the entire wedding, even our parent’s rooms and flights. We had saved for a long time to do this. My best friend called me up the day before our wedding, the morning of the flight, at 6 am. I missed the call by 20 seconds. His voice mail was him stumbling through an excuse for not being able to go because his girlfriend didn’t want him to go after all. Him and his girlfriend were on again off again, I had thought they were in their off again period, but they had made up days before apparently. I tried calling I’m back but he did not pick up. Tried again – nothing. So that’s it. The last I heard from my best friend of nearly a couple of decades was him mumbling through an excuse for not being there for my wedding. I never spoke to him again or tried to call him after that. It was too big. It’s been three years, and he never called me back after that voicemail. My wife and I had our wedding, and it was seriously amazing. I had another close friend who was a groomsman fill in for the best man speech/duties; he did great and we became even closer friends.”
First Sign Of A Real Jerk Is Being Consistently Late
“My husband had a friend who was chronically late. We were all planning dinner and a movie and said we were leaving at 7, no matter what. We waited until 7:15 to give him a chance and when he still wasn’t there, we left. He showed up at 8 and we were in the theater, not answering our phones. We get out of and we all have dozens of missed calls. We try calling him and he won’t answer. Oh well. The next morning, my husband’s phone is blowing up with texts and calls and voicemails from this guy. ‘Please don’t read that email,’ ‘Just delete it,’ ‘I’m sorry,’ ‘Call me, I need to talk to you,’ and what not. Knowing this can’t be good, he decided not to entertain the idea of giving this guy another chance and logs into his email. He had written a short message about how awful of a person he is and this was the final straw: my husband’s dad died when he was two and in the message, this guy wrote, ‘At least my dad is still alive. You’ll never know what it’s like to have a dad in your life.’ I’m reading over his shoulder and I’m about to go hunt this guy down; I’m furious. My husband goes, ‘Huh’ and slowly closes his laptop. He calmly said, ‘Well, I won’t be seeing him anymore.’ He tried calling a bunch more times, but I’m sure he knew he already read it. He messed up and stopped, never saw him again. My husband has so much patience, but it really hit him deep.’
What She Did At Her Wedding Was Bad, But What She Did To Her Daughter Is Unforgivable
“She wasn’t just my friend, but my sister too. She made my wedding all about her. Then she tried to destroy my marriage saying that my husband had hit on her. Considering he was never around her unless I was there, I knew she was lying. She got mad over something trivial at the reception (I was laughing with a friend and she thought I was ‘laughing at her’), so she sat halfway across the park from us texting me how angry she was and why wasn’t I answering her. She also refused pics with the wedding party. She even forced my mom who was her ride to take her home before the reception was over. She and her stepson were very much jerks to me, my husband and our guests.
Already for years, the woman had took advantage of my love for her by ‘letting’ me take her with me to concerts on my dime. After all this, I found out she had been mentally abusing my autistic daughter when she provided childcare for me. It has been almost 5 years and all I can say when our aunt tries to ‘repair bridges’ is ‘No, thank you.’ It still causes issues to this day. My daughter just doesn’t understand and feels like she is unloved some days because of what my sister did to her. Luckily there are counselors that specialize in autistic patients and understand her needs so that when I’m not able to help, they can. I really feel that if I ever am near my sister again I would hurt her severely for the damage she has done.”
Work Friends And Besties, So What Went Wrong?
“This woman and I got hired at the same time; we were in the waiting room together for the interview. When they got to the part about having ‘any more questions,’ we both actually inquired about the other and both of us basically said, ‘You should hire that person, they’re really cool’ just knowing each other based off of our chat in the waiting room.
We both got the job and when we got our assigned pod, we were seated together. We went from co-workers to acquaintances who traded numbers and hung out occasionally. From there, we became great friends who visited each other weekly to best friends. Her husband and I were best friends too! When she thought he was cheating on her, she called me crying to ask for advice. We worked through it and he wasn’t. When he thought they were having issues intimately, I worked with him to help their relationship thrive, having a real man to man chat. I’d have taken a bullet for either of them. In the three years that I knew them, they were the MOST important people in my life.
Eventually, she got a new and better job, I was so excited to see her moving up in the world and we stayed close pals. When she changed jobs, I actually caught her crying because she would miss working with me. A few months passed, nothing had changed. We texted daily and hung out 2-3 times a week, still best friends. When her birthday rolled around, we all went out and celebrated. That night, I went home early. The next morning rolls around and I found out she’s mad at me for ditching early. I explained it and she said it was okay. Sparse chatting for a week, then suddenly, nothing. There were no texts, calls, hangouts, Facebook messages, Snapchats – nothing. I call, text, try to hang out and never get anything back. I got really worried and asked mutual friends who would say, ‘She just texted me today’ or ‘She’s fine.’ After 3 months, I took the hint. I removed her from my contacts and from social media. It sucks and I wish I knew what I did wrong.
As for the husband getting jealous, I feel like after being close for 2+ years and going through so much together, it would have reared its head a long long time ago. A mutual friend suggested it’s possible that she was starting to have ‘more than friends’ feelings for me and realized it when I left early from her birthday, like an ‘oh no’ epiphany moment and she decided to cut me out to save her marriage. I don’t buy that, personally, but I dunno.”
A Triple Betrayal
“I had some serious self-esteem issues because I had been assaulted as a kid. In middle school, I had disclosed this information to my best friend. All of a sudden, my classmates started to call me a ‘child assaulter.’ I found out that my best friend had told other people. It was a triple whammy of dealing with being assaulted, having someone betray you again and then being bullied about it. It still affects me 24 years later, but I got mine though. A few years ago, I ran into his dad and his dad was saying how he was living at home and figuring himself out. I googled him and saw he was wanted by the feds for dealing. Guess who gave the feds his whereabouts? He’s now serving a 20 year sentence.”
She Was Into More Than Just Ruining Their Friendship
“I was friends with a girl in college and she had a fiancé. Anytime I was into a girl I would talk to her about them and asked her if she thought they were cool and if they ever mentioned me. After talking to her, these girls would systematically go from nice, friendly, budding relationship mode to completely shut down, radio silence. After the third time, I started to suspect my friend wasn’t talking me up to her friends like I thought she would. I came to find out she had been telling them I was a creep and had told her about violent assault fantasies I had for these girls. It turns out she had some unrequited feelings for me, which is fine, but she channeled those feelings in a super unhealthy way and tried to sabotage all of my relationships, which ended up sabotaging ours.”
“I Spent My 21st Birthday Alone…”
“She was my best friend of 8 years. I moved about 6 hours away from home for college and every time she’d come to ‘visit me’ she would make the trip and crash somewhere else, just coming to party, wouldn’t make any effort to see me. On my 21st birthday, she actually surprised me (which was one of nicest things she’s ever done) by coming down but brought her jerk of a boyfriend. We made plans to go out that night so I told my new boyfriend and housemates that I was going out with my best friend and to leave without me while I waited for her. After getting ready for 2 hours, including making us appetizers, I tried to get ahold of her for over 5 hours and heard nothing. It turns out she decided to lay in bed with her boyfriend at someone else’s house. She never said sorry or talked about it again. I spent my 21st birthday alone, too embarrassed to tell my other friends and boyfriend that my ‘best friend’ ditched me.”
The Things He Did For Toxic Love
“This man was my best friend through teenage years to late twenties. We were roommates, business partners, and both best man at each other’s wedding. He stole a ton of money from the business and stopped paying our bills. Most of our business at the time involved traveling and staying for a few days in certain areas doing installs. He slowly started spending a lot more time on jobs and not thinking rationally. He was using our money to fund a dealer’s car rental each week; my guess is that he was getting free ‘goodies’ out of it. Much of this was attributed to him wanting to escape his wife and escaping reality – getting royally messed up and not having to deal with her. He also used company money to fund his entire wedding which was an absolute nightmare. He didn’t use to be like that but meeting and marrying that woman changed him. She was a miserable person and he eventually lost all of his friends and families support because of her.
It has been very difficult for me to spend five years building a business to then lose it and becoming deep in the hole. Since he didn’t pay our bills, we now had $60,000+ due to vendors and state taxes. After 3 long years, I am down to a few more payments to one more vendor and finally getting everything back on track. He’s 32, moved back home to live with his parents, is divorced and miserable. I can’t tell you how much I hate that man.”
His Effort To Make A Killing Made Him Intolerable
“He became supremely unhappy with himself because he traveled around the world, met some high society people and decided he wanted to join their ranks. In his quest to do so, he became an incredibly nasty person to be around. He said things that I hope people wouldn’t even think. He wanted to create an ‘us versus them’ thing where he’s at the top and the only people he needs to talk to are also at the top. So eventually he started thinking he would try to find ways in which he was ‘better than me,’ and try to exploit them. For example, at the time he had more money and I was just out of college working a low-paying job and he’d constantly berate me for accepting such a job. He’d say things like, ‘I wouldn’t even get out of bed for less than 100k a year.’ Then he’d talk about starting his business and how he wanted to find in-debt college students to work for him so he could financially drain them and purposely treat them badly so they couldn’t afford to quit. He was given a few bucks by his parents and it went to his head. Eventually, he got this ‘class’ thing in his head where he’d treat people with less money like him badly and would justify it by saying they were poor and so it didn’t matter. One time, I brought him to a friend’s house for a BBQ. He tried to hit on some girls and once they shot down his advancements, he would act belligerently to all of them until I had to take him home. My friend took me aside and said very seriously, ‘Never bring him over again.’ I felt horrible. He spiraled into this whole thing of treating everybody like dirt and justifying it by saying they were poor or in debt so it was acceptable and only wealthy people deserve respect. Since I was not wealthy, I was in that camp, too. It started to very rapidly get into psychopath territory. I tried to steer the friendship into the right direction when he turned the attention to me so I literally got up, walked to my car and left. As I was turning on the ignition, I decided the friendship was over. That was a few years ago and I feel much freer now, though I regret sticking by him and trying to help for so long. It was all very shady and I am glad I am no longer friends with him.”
“I Couldn’t Say ‘I Was Excited To See My Own Child'”
“My friend got really jealous of my first pregnancy. I did my best not to become the sort of person who only talks about being pregnant or who totally changes their identity to be a ‘mom,’ but it didn’t matter. Anything I did involving being pregnant was too much for him to handle. He got really upset when I went for my first mandatory ultrasound because it was too ‘obsessive’ of me to want to see my baby that badly; all I did was mention that I was excited to see the fetus for the first time. I just couldn’t talk to him anymore after that. He could rant every single day about how sad he was that he was single and how no woman would talk to him, and I would patiently listen and offer advice where I could. Yet I can’t say I’m excited to see my own child because he felt threatened by that?
He had feelings for me but it was made abundantly clear that the feelings were not returned as I was already married when we met – he certainly should have known better. Unfortunately, as things began to fall off the deep end for him over the years, he began to do what many people do and mistook our friendship and my support for more than what it was. Of course, I didn’t want our once friendship to end. The change was so gradual and dark that it was a very hard decision to make to end things, but who he was when I left was not the person I became friends with initially.
Since things were taking such a dark turn for him, it felt natural to think that maybe he would realize he was mistaking our friendship as something more simply because of his unfortunate situation and when things began looking up, I would have my friend back and things could be normal. It was ignorant denial on everybody’s part. We both should have let go so much sooner. We certainly are better off not talking to each other. Last I checked, he had finally gotten himself to a good place in life and is doing much better! I’m very happy for him.”
“My Wife Still Cries About It”
“I met this guy at work and we had been getting along pretty well for about a year so I decided to invite him and his family over for dinner. As soon as he gets there, my wife recognizes him and greets him by name. It turns out he’s an ex-boyfriend of my wife’s best friend from more than five years ago. Wow! Small world, right? So we have a nice little dinner, have some drinks, our kids play together and then they go home. The next day, my wife’s friend comes to visit and I casually mention that he we had him over. My wife’s best friend just totally loses it and starts crying and screaming at my wife, ‘How could you do this? I thought we were friends!’ and ‘I can’t be around you anymore, you betrayed me.’ So she leaves and gets on Facebook talking all kinds of trash about my wife being someone who sleeps around and how our marriage is doomed to fail because she is so selfish. My wife is very upset about it. They haven’t talked since and this was about a month ago. My wife still cries about it as they were friends for over 10 years. I feel really bad for bringing it up in front of her but how was I supposed to know she would react like that?”
How Do You Go From Good Friends To Complete Strangers?
“Let’s call her Emily. She has been suicidal for a long time. She was very pretty and always spoke about how people just used her and viewed her as an attention seeker. I was always there for her in high school, I was always there to listen. I took her out to eat and did silly things to make her laugh. I loved her with all my heart and wished nothing but the best for her.
One day, I came home from school and got a phone call from a close friend who told me to go on Facebook. There was a video Emily made of her saying how she will be killing herself that day and wanted to tell everyone goodbye. I cried and kept calling her with no answer. Later that day, we see Emily posted a status saying that she’s in the hospital now and that she wasn’t actually going to kill herself but was only thinking about it and whoever called the ambulance owes her parents money for the bill. The next day when I saw her, I sobbed and ran to her to hug her tight; I told her to never to do this again.
As we graduated high school, I was still there when she needed me, but one day, she unfriended me on Facebook. Someone told me she made a post saying that she’s not going to talk to people who never helped her through her troubles and were fake friends. To her, everything I did meant nothing. She threw away my friendship and love for her. Since she thought I wasn’t worth her time anymore, I just let it be. No phone calls or texts. We go to the same college. Sometimes we bump into each other but she completely pretends I’m not there. I wish her well in life and hope she doesn’t hurt herself in the future.”
The Reason He Walked Away From 20 Years of Friendship
“My best friend’s marriage ruined our friendship. I helped my best friend move into his fiancée’s condo and she just stood there with her arms crossed. She wouldn’t drive him to pick up the moving truck or to drop it off and she refused to help move anything. After moving into her place, he spent more nights at my house than hers and when he did spend nights there she didn’t. I redid my guest bedroom into a room for him at his request. I spoke with my girlfriend and son about him moving in. He asked if he could live with me over and over, so finally I told him to just move in. He moved all his stuff into my place and before spending one night here, she bought a house and he asked her to marry him. He told me he didn’t love her, he didn’t want to marry her but he felt at 30 he was supposed to be married or his life wasn’t going anywhere. I had spent 2 years trying to help him through this tough situation and it took a toll on my own relationship. I walked away from almost 20 years of friendship and haven’t looked back.”
Real Friendship Goes Both Ways
“My friend would ignore texts and then tell me we were barely talking anymore. I’d make a couple more efforts, no reply, until the explosion. She started fighting with me over text out of nowhere about how I never make an effort to see her and how I’m too busy seeing other people to care about hanging out with her. If I did something wrong, I would have taken responsibility and owned up but it was just stuff that had been bothering her for a long time (jealousy, it seemed like) that bubbled over because she never thought to talk to me about it before that. It was odd. She lives over an hour away and since I don’t drive it’s expensive to get to her. Besides, she always wanted to do things last minute anyway.
She also started making wild accusations and had nothing to back up her claims with and then she started bringing my deceased mother into the mix. That was the last straw. She never wanted to talk things over like a rational adult, and I don’t have time for high school drama in my mid-20s, so I walked away. If she wants to come back and discuss things maturely, I’m here, but if not then I’m over it. My mom passed in 2009 and that’s not something you try to use to your advantage.
She’d come to visit sometimes, and I did some things in her area, but apparently it wasn’t good enough. We were just on different paths and growing apart, it happens. It sucks when you were once great friends (I’d known her since 8th grade) but sometimes, that’s just part of getting older. I haven’t looked back.”