These are the top things to try to avoid whether you're planning a wedding or attending a wedding.
If you’re getting married or you are attending a wedding as a guest, there are some things to definitely refrain from doing on or before the big day.
While there are different traditions that different cultures take part in, there are some general standards that people should just steer away from.
Too Long Of A Time Gap Between Ceremony And Reception
Not everyone may live close to the location of your wedding, so to have an hour or more of a time gap in between the ceremony and the reception seems more than a little annoying. This is especially true for those who are from out of town and don’t know that many of the wedding guests or the area well – where are they supposed go?
While it’s understandable to have a gap for the wedding party to have time to take photos and possibly for the venue to be set-up for the reception, where the guests will be needs to be accounted for at all times. They should be able to show up to the reception immediately after and be provided with drinks and snacks or have a space for a cocktail hour while the tables and chairs are set.
Guests Announcing Their Own Personal Big News
If you are a guest or a part of the wedding party, don’t even dare think about having a “surprise” announcement regarding yourself. It is the bride and groom’s day, their one day!
These are announcements such as: “I’m pregnant!” or “I got the job!” or the worst one – someone proposing at the wedding. Yeah, we’ve all seen those viral videos where some guy proposes to his girl at someone else’s wedding, talk about TACK-Y!
Even if you’re over the moon excited and figure it’s a great place to share since all your family is around anyway, it’s not! Wait to tell the news until after the wedding as there’s no need to strain relationships or possibly ruin a friendship or even a wedding day over this.
Not Having An Open Bar
A majority of people look forward to the free drinks at weddings, so while it can be seen as a petty complaint to a couple already spending a lot on their wedding, most people do not like when there is a cash bar instead of an open bar.
If alcohol is against your religion, that, of course, is an exception, but just like most formal parties, if you host, you need to provide for your guests, simple as that. This isn’t college where everything is BYOB. Additionally, most guests are already paying for gifts, possibly travel and lodging, maybe even new attire just so they can attend your wedding! Then there is the fact that for most guests, it’s under the assumption that you won’t have to bring cash to someone’s wedding, so people can get pretty upset over the realization that if they want a drink, they have to pay.
However, it is ok to have caps on the open bar, as again, this is a wedding and not a college party.
Having A Potluck At The Reception
An unpopular opinion by most is when the bride and groom decide to have their guests each bring a dish of their own to the wedding reception. You know, not everyone can afford to go all out with expensive catered dishes of steak and lobster or multiple course meals, but similar to the open bar concept, you need to take care of your guests.
Plus, many can look at potlucks as a cheap alternative for the couple to take advantage of their guests – guests that have already contributed money for someone else’s big day.
It doesn’t need to be very fancy, many people would be happy with even a simple meal from a local BBQ shop, but we all know hangry people are not fun to deal with.
The ‘Money Dance’
Popular in the Midwest, the money dance is where the bride gets either pinned with dollar bills or money is put into a basket in order for a wedding guest to have the chance to dance with her at the reception.
While it isn’t technically a way for the bride and groom to ask for a large sum of money, it can be looked at as a ploy to get fast cash from wedding guests who most likely have already bought a wedding gift for the couple at the very least. And the “pinning” of money to the bride is a little too reminiscent of a certain profession… If you want to dance with the bride, just ask!
Having Friends Finance Your Honeymoon
While it is understandable that some people may not be able to afford a ‘lavish’ wedding or honeymoon, the engaged couple should still have their finances in order beforehand and know that the bill is all of them. If someone wants to help out, that is their choice and is a gift. It’s not fair to try and dump expenses on friends and families just so you can have the perfect (aka expensive) wedding or dream honeymoon.
So for those who have GoFundMe’s for their honeymoon, just don’t… It’s extremely tacky and uncalled for!
Flower Girls/Ring Bearers Holding Signs
This isn’t the biggest cardinal sin, but just because Pinterest is the creative hub for all wedding ideas it doesn’t mean Pinterest is always right. See, there is a growing trend of people have their flower girls or ring bearers holding signs that say anything from “Here Comes The Bride” to “It’s Too Late To Run, ‘Cause Here She Comes.” While the former isn’t all that bad, the latter definitely is treading a fine line between being funny and being tacky.
There is definitely a thing known as ‘Pinterest overload’ when it comes to planning weddings, and the whole sign trend in general is getting a bit overplayed. You want your wedding to be timeless, not “trendy.”
Dressing Inappropriately As The Wedding Guest
While each culture has their own traditions, in America at least it is pretty frowned upon for anyone else besides the bride to wear white to the wedding. Or in other words, if the wedding guest is trying to draw all of the attention to them, that is not okay. The same can be said for any attire that doesn’t fit the occasion, like a dress that is better suited for going to the club, or under-dressing if the invitation classified it was a black tie affair. Basically, if you’re standing out too much, odds are the bride is going to be upset with you. And if she is too distracted because, you know, it’s a big and stressful day for her, you can bet the other guests will be giving you the side eye.
Inviting Past Exes
Talk about an awkward situation! It truly is shocking that not only would the thought of inviting your ex even be on the table, it’s even more shocking that said ex would voluntarily show up!
There could be situations where you and your ex are now truly good friends, and as long as ALL parties involved are ok (not just you and your ex, but your significant other and your family), then proceed. Otherwise, this just sets up a potentially stressful situation that could break out into full-fledge wedding drama, something NO one needs happening.
Showing Up Late To Your Own Wedding
Nobody wants to be left at the altar…but sadly, it does happen to some people.
If the bride or groom shows up late, it looks a little concerning to the guests. While there may be different circumstances or issues that happen, it still is worrisome.
My dad has told the story about how my mom was an hour late to their wedding ceremony. Basically, my mom’s sister (aka one of her bridesmaids) took longer than expected with her hair. My dad wasn’t necessarily angry, he was just more concerned that something bad happened, like an accident. So you can imagine the sheer amount of panic he was feeling.
If you plan the ceremony to start at let’s say, 3 pm, make sure you and your wedding party are ready to go an hour or so before then. Plan accordingly — this is why wedding planners can be vital in moving the day along and staying on track with the timing.
Painfully Long Speeches
This is a couple’s wedding day, not an individual’s funeral…
The amount of weddings where the maid of honor or best man speak on behalf of the bride or groom as if they are no longer here is astounding!
It can be especially annoying to those guests who may not even know the bride or groom extremely well enough — well now they will know their entire life story!
Sharing funny or cute anecdotes of your friendship with them can be okay, or even stories about how you were a witness in watching the relationship grow can be incredibly touching. But if the speaker starts going into a 10 minute or longer ‘biography’ of the bride or groom’s life, that can cause people to tune out and stare into space. Also, too many ‘inside joke’ references can cause utter confusion among the wedding guests, so much confusion that the confusion turns into boredom. And then so much boredom that they get up to get another drink to cope with the uncalled for jokes and narrated life story of the bride/groom.