These are the top 10 ways that you can get over the guy that broke your heart.
So your boyfriend broke up with you in a horrible way? While revenge may sound appealing, we have a different approach to healing after a breakup.
Here are the top 10 pieces of advice that will help you in getting over him and will lead you to a brighter future!
Cry It Out, Girl
You have to get over the sadness somehow, so cry all you want!
Cry for hours, days, months, whatever works for you. There is no shame in expressing your emotions of despair and hurt feelings. You loved him for a reason, and he will always be a memory in your life, but things will get better!
If you allow yourself to cry, you’re acknowledging the breakup in a healthy way. It’s better to deal with the feelings now instead of binding them up and taking them out in an uncalled for manner. Trust me, you don’t want to go all crazy and do or say something you might regret later on…
Watch All The Movies, Eat All The Food
Along with the crying, watch your favorite movie for the perfect breakup combination to ever exist. You could even have a girls night in — pop some popcorn, bring out some bottles of wine and a box of chocolates, and trash talk your ex during the boring parts of the movie.
Whether you choose a sad movie, cheesy rom-com, or an action movie, pick whatever genre is your favorite (or the movie he never wanted to watch with you) and take your mind off of the heartbreak. Personally, I chose to watch comedies to lift up my spirits when going through a breakup.
For some, it may be hard to watch romantic movies after getting dumped because you don’t want to watch people, albeit fictional characters, fall in love and be all cute and coupley, but once the dark looming cloud of the breakup fades not only will you be ready for a good romance flick, but possibly even a new romance of your own.
Retail therapy has always been known to work for some girls out there. Go buy yourself something cute from Victoria’s Secret or go get a new outfit from your favorite store. Might as well hit up Sephora while you’re on your shopping spree.
You no longer have to think about getting him a new work shirt or his favorite beer or whatever you would pick up for him, so you’re about to save so much money! And what better way to use that money than on yourself.
Honestly, this is the time where you have to realize all of the times you put him first, bought him cute little ‘just because’ things, and blew all of your money to make him happy. While there is nothing wrong with spoiling your partner now and then, you’re probably not on the best terms with him and are feeling a little petty, so go and spoil yourself, because you deserve it!
Get Rid Of Him On Social Media
You know just as well as I do that you do NOT want to see photos of him either having fun with friends or with his ‘new girl.’ You also don’t want to be able to reflect back on your relationship by looking at old photos of ‘the good times.’ Okay, maybe you do have some awesome memories together: your first vacation together, first anniversary, or first holiday celebrated, but in the throes of a horrible breakup, reminding yourself of these memories can just make it harder.
Deleting him on social media and just cutting off contact, in general, can help you in mentally recovering from the breakup and can make the healing process that much easier! Removing him from your online life can be a great way to prevent you from being tempted to stalk him or talk to him, especially during a difficult time where you’re trying to get over him.
However, there is the rare but potential situation of eventually becoming friends. Now I understand it’s a different circumstance for each couple because not all breakups end in a huge mess, so if that is the case for you, it would be just as easy to add him back down the road.
Take Him Off Of The Pedestal In Your Mind
If we’re speaking in terms of MySpace, he was probably in your top list of people, but not anymore, girl! Not anymore!
You have to realize that the relationship is over and he’s no longer a priority in your life. You know who is your top priority? Yourself! He is no longer worthy of your time or energy.
And if he tries to reach out to you after hurting you so bad, you can make the choice to respond or not. But, beware of the guys who are only doing that to play mind tricks on you. They might ‘claim’ that they miss you, but most likely they just miss having a person by their side, so recognize that he is no longer the most important person in your life and move on.
Therapy Can Always Help
There is absolutely no shame for going to a therapist to deal with a breakup. It’s nice to be able to express your feelings with someone who didn’t know your ex-boyfriend and wasn’t there to witness the relationship.
Having a therapist can help to give you the insight you need to cope with the emotional stress and sadness you might be experiencing, plus you feel like a brand new person after talking it out.
Keep Yourself Busy
Remember those friends that you used to do everything with, but then you got into a relationship and focused less on your friends and more on your new man? Yeah…let’s backtrack, rewind, and focus on those friends again. And let’s hope that those friends stuck by your side, even though they understood you were busy with a new relationship and didn’t mean to ignore them for months on end.
Start going out again and put yourself in new social situations. This way you’ll meet new people and have other things to do besides sulking in your breakup.
But you don’t have to just go out for drinks with friends. You can get your old crew together for a game night or do a fun activity together. Do things that you want to do or enjoy: take up a new hobby, learn a new language, join a new organization or club. Just do something that you’ve always had an interest in, but your relationship might have gotten in the way of.
You can also start putting your time into more fulfilling activities like volunteering or getting a new part-time job. Helping others out, in whatever kind of way you want to, is the most rewarding feeling. It’ll put a smile on their face and yours too!
Plan A Trip You’ll Look Forward To
When I was going through a breakup, I luckily had a spring break trip lined up beforehand so I definitely lucked out! This was the best thing for me because it took my mind off of the sadness I was feeling. I was on the beach and surrounded by my best friends who kept me distracted!
This is probably the biggest tip that helped me out and I’m certain it can help out other girls.
So you’ve always wanted to go to the beach, or the mountains, or maybe even Italy? Work hard, save up your money, and go travel! Or if you’re still a student, preferably a college student, look into study abroad programs. There’s so much of the world to explore, and you don’t need this breakup holding you back from life’s amazing opportunities.
If you plan out a vacation, then you are literally planning your light at the end of the tunnel of your breakup. Seriously, keep this one in consideration!
Focus On Improving Yourself
Okay, so hopefully you’ve already indulged in the treats and gotten past that phase of the breakup. Now is the time to get your mind and body healthy! The best revenge after a breakup is looking and feeling your absolute BEST!
Join a workout class and start eating healthier foods that will make you feel better. Trust me, the endorphins from working out will make you feel so great and the healthy foods will give your body the proper fuel it needs to run on.
If you aren’t a treadmill and weights kind of girl, you can always start taking yoga or meditation classes. These classes really force you to self-reflect and take care of yourself. It’s extremely relaxing, especially with the music most classes play in the background.
Reflect On What You Deserve
Now that you’ve grieved, distracted yourself, and have practiced self-care, it’s time to think about what you want. You’ve experienced a relationship with someone who changed you in ways you could have never imagined. Maybe he was constantly putting you down and choosing others before you? Maybe he failed to connect and communicate with you? Maybe he was not loyal to you? There are a plethora of reasons as to how he acted and why things didn’t work out.
But at the end of the day, you have yourself and the rest of your future ahead of you! Don’t waste your time on a guy that wouldn’t give you the time of day. Say adios to the past and hello to the beginning of your true happiness.
Make a list of what you know you can bring to a relationship and what you would want your partner to contribute. I mean, ‘love is a two-way street,’ ‘it takes two to tango,’ and all those other clichés are true — a relationship consists of love, communication, and teamwork.
It also may help to make a separate list of pros and cons of what you will and will not accept in all future relationships.
Just remember, nobody’s perfect, so there might not be ‘the perfect guy’ that matches up with all of your pros. But if they treat you the way you deserve and want to be treated, then they’re already ten times better than ‘what’s his name’ who broke your heart long ago!